Sharing Kindness

"Infinitely more important than sharing one 's material wealth is sharing the wealth of ourselves -- our time and energy, our passion, and, above all, our love."
―William E. Simon

Today there was a special celebration at my daughters' schools -- a surprise field day.  The event is organized and led by the high school seniors.  As she told me about how terrific her day was, one of my daughters -- who is new to the school this year -- asked me if I could text the mothers of the two older girls who had served as captain and co-captain of her team; she wanted the older girls to know how much she appreciated their kindness toward her.  It happened that I knew the mothers of the girls and conveniently had their mobile phone numbers, so I texted them both.  I received lovely texts from the moms.  One of them shared that her daughter had teared up when the message was read to her. "Thank you!  It made her feel special," her mother texted.  So much kindness to go around -- the older girls were thoughtful in their planning and in their concern for the younger girls, and in turn, this younger girl was thoughtful in showing her appreciation.

Kindness Remembered

"Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others."
― Rosa Parks

Yesterday, I attended the 10th anniversary celebration of a chapel at the university where I used to work.  At the Mass, I recognized a name in the list of acknowledgments on the back of the program.  It was the gentleman who had played the piano and led an a cappella group at my wedding more than 17 years ago.

After the Mass, I approached the gentleman and told him that he had played at my wedding.  I also thanked him for how kind he had been.  In the midst of the madness of wedding preparations and dealing with vendors who were not all as nice, he had stood out for his professionalism and kindness.  He shared that he knows how frazzled brides are and that he tries to make it easy for them.  I told him that I always fondly remember him.  It is amazing how long we remember kindness.

The Kindness of Celebrating Others

"The applause is a celebration not only of the actors but also of the audience.  It constitutes a shared moment of delight."
―John Charles Polanyi, a Hungarian-born chemist who won the 1986 Nobel Prize in Chemistry

Yesterday, I received a call from our local Fresh Market store that one of my children had won a drawing contest.  The contest entailed drawing your favorite product from the store and the prize was a $50 gift certificate.  My daughter -- the winner -- had been very insistent on getting the application, working on her drawing and then making sure we submitted it by the deadline.  When the store manager called, I was thrilled for my daughter.  I called the mother of her best friend and arranged for her best friend to go with us to claim the prize.  (My daughter is blessed with a generous best friend whose heart seems to have no limits in the shared joy department.)

As I imagined, my daughter was incredibly happy.  We took photos at the store and then I shared them with a few members of our family and close friends.  My daughter enjoyed receiving congratulatory texts and e-mails.  A very special couple in Washington, two very dear friends who take great joy in our children, printed a copy of my daughter's artwork, took a photo of themselves with it and sent it to my daughter.  She excitedly showed it to me this morning.

There is kindness in celebrating other's successes, whether big or small.  Not only does it make the person who is enjoying her few minutes in the limelight feel extra special, but also it sets an important example for children of the kindness in celebrating each other.  And there is joy in sharing moments of delight.

The Ripple Effect (and Kindness) of Wise Counsel

"The best advice comes from people who don't give advice."
― Matthew McConaughey

A friend recently called to ask my advice on an issue relating to her children.  For a mother, it is very difficult to find clarity in thinking about situations or issues that negatively impact our children.  Because we feel so much is at stake, it is hard to push emotions aside and think clearly.  As I listened to my friend, I remembered a very important question that a dear friend of mine had asked me when I was grappling with my own child-related tough issue.  She had asked me, "What do you want?"  Her question made me think and made it possible for me to gain clarity.  As I spoke to this other friend, I asked her the same question and it helped us work through her situation.  Wise counsel is a kindness that seems to have a ripple effect.

The Kindness of Friendship That Sees Us Through

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

My mother has a very dear friend who is like family, so much so that we call her Tía (aunt in Spanish).  Tía and my mother have stood by each other through major losses and challenges as well as life's greatest joys and milestones.  And Tía has been a great friend to my siblings and me -- someone I have sought out for advice not only for me, but also for my friends. 

Tía's daughter was married last October.  My mother and I as well as other family friends pitched in to assist with wedding details.  As a thank you gift, the bride gave Tía, my mother and me the very generous gift of massages at a very nice hotel spa.  Today was Tía's birthday and she suggested that we celebrate by going together to get our massages.  We had a lovely lunch at the hotel's poolside restaurant overlooking the water, and then enjoyed our massages and the spa.  It was a wonderful way to celebrate a birthday and the kindness of friendship that sees us through.

Kindness... Out of the Mouth of Babes

"There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go."
― Jean Paul

A friend of mine's daughter turned 11 last month.  This little girl is one of my favorite children.  She is intellectually curious, poised and wise beyond her years.  When my children and I realized that we had missed her birthday, we scheduled a celebratory pizza outing as quickly as possible.  When we picked her up, she said, "I was not expecting this at all."  As we walked toward the pizzeria, one of my children said, "I wanted to get you a big card, but my mom didn't let me."   The little girl responded, "Oh, I like smaller cards better."

I don't know how one raises such a kind child... Nature, nurture -- who knows.  She does have terrific parents who serve as role models.  But I marvel that in this era of snarkiness, back talk and sarcasm, an 11-year-old can manage to remain centered, be true to herself and exude kindness.  And to leave joy behind wherever she goes.

Kindness and Parking Spaces

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."
― Albert Schweitzer

Earlier today, I parked in metered parking along the street of a commercial area.  After I put my money in the meter, a woman who was parked inside a lot said, "You know you could park here for free."  "Really?" I said, somewhat incredulously because in this particular municipality, there is no free parking.  The woman insisted.  "Next time, " I said.  I thanked her and continued walking -- past a sign that said the lot was municipal parking and one needed to pay seven days a week/24 hours.  Nonetheless, I appreciated the woman's kindness.  She had reached out and tried to help.