Year-End Reflections on Kindness

"The practice of kindness is the daily, friendly, homely caring form of love.  It is both humble ― a schoolboy bringing his teacher a bouquet of dandelions ― and exalted ― a fireman giving his life to save someone else's.  Kindness is love with hands and hearts and minds.  It is both whimsical ―  causing our faces to crack into a smile ― and deeply touching ― causing our eyes to shimmer with tears.  And its miraculous nature is such that the more acts of kindness we offer, the more of them we have to give, for acts of kindness are always drawn from the endless well of love."
―Dawna Markova

As I look back on 2013 from the kindness perspective, there are a couple of things that stand out.  One is that kindness LASTS.  Many times, it is remembered long after it is over.

On Christmas Day, I ran into a former secretary who worked with me more than two decades ago when I practiced law at a large, international firm.  I had not seen her in years and it was great for the two of us to see each other and to remember, even briefly, the many hours that we had spent together -- we worked hard and there was a lot of stress, but we laughed a lot, too.  One of the reasons that I enjoyed working with her was that in addition to being very smart, very funny and a hard worker, she was fiercely loyal.  On a December 19th more than 20 years ago, I was taken a well-earned and scheduled-in-advance day off to do Christmas shopping as I worked most every day, including weekends.  As I was on my way to the stores, my then secretary called me and said that even though it was my day off, some attorneys were looking for me to sign a document.  She said that she knew that I would be in casual clothes and would not want to walk into the office, but that if I drove by the office building, she would run down with the document so that I could sign it.  And that is what we did.  Her thoughtfulness and kindness have stayed with me all these years.

In addition to the amazingly long-lasting quality of kindness, it can be relatively simple and the opportunities to be kind abound.  Every day.

I am grateful for this journey in kindness and all the lessons that it continues to teach me.

Happy New Year!  Wishing you much kindness in 2014. 

The Kindness of Perspective

"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way."
― Allen Klein

Someone I know was feeling a little overwhelmed.  Nothing serious, just days of moving.  In the midst of it, she ran into a housekeeper who works in her community.  The housekeeper asked her how it was going.  Although the woman was having her moments, she was trying to keep things in perspective, so she told the housekeeper that it was fine and that she was making progress little by little.  The housekeeper then shared that her husband had recently died while they were on a trip to her home country for the third-month anniversary of her sister's passing.  The housekeeper began crying and the woman I know hugged her.  As the woman walked away, she thought of how the housekeeper's sharing what was happening in her own life gave the woman perspective on her own.  There is so much kindness when we connect with each other -- sometimes we find support in reaching out, sometimes we find perspective.

Kindness... Out of the Mouth of Babes

"To give without any reward, or any notice, has a special quality of its own."
―Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have been working on a family home improvement project for a while.  More than a year, actually.  The other day, one of my children very unexpectedly said, "Thanks for all the work you put into making this happen."  I felt my heart soar.  What a kindness to receive appreciation from one's children. 

Kindness After the Christmas Rush

"Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy."
―Ralph Waldo Emerson

At a store today, I stood in a long checkout line.  One of the cashiers, who seemed relatively new, was trying to figure out the price of an item for a customer.  The cashier asked the employee working next to her what she should do; the second woman told her to go and find another one of the same item.  Apologetically, the cashier asked the customer if she would mind waiting while she ran to find another one of the item.  "Not at all," the customer said.  "I am not in a rush."  Relieved and appreciative, the cashier went off to get the price.

Kindness at the "City Morgue"

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
― Mother Teresa

I called my favorite wine shop on Christmas Eve to find out until what time it would be open.  "City Morgue," the owner answered.  I laughed for a few seconds before I could even speak.  "How did you know it was me?" I asked.  "I actually thought it was your brother," the owner replied.

While it would make sense for the owner of the wine shop to know my brother, there is no reason for him to know me.  A teetotaler, I am not exactly his best customer.  However, I do visit several times a year to buy gifts.  And, as I was reminded this week, I love going there even though it is more than 10 miles from where I live and there are obviously closer options. 

For someone who does not know a thing about wine, where I buy it matters.  At the "City Morgue," the owner is always very friendly with a great sense of humor.  And his kindness wins me over every time.  He always listens carefully to what I tell him I need and never tries to sell me more than would make sense.  So I feel taken care of and never ripped off.  And though he knows that I don't know a thing about wine, he always tells me a little about what I am buying.  Invariably, my gifts of wine are always a big hit with the recipients.

I read yesterday that despite the increasing popularity of on-line shopping, we still buy more than 90 percent of everything in person.  I wonder if vendors have a sense of how much kindness figures into customer loyalty.

A Chain of Kindness at Starbucks

"A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love."
― Molly Friedenfeld

More than 700 customers have "paid it forward" at a Connecticut Starbucks since Christmas Eve.  On Tuesday morning, one customer paid for the next person in line and the trend continued until the store closed that night.  Customers have kept it up.  As of 5 pm today, more than 720 customers have paid for the customer behind them in the drive-thru line.  A small act of kindness can impact many -- and make news.

Kindness at Christmas

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
― Clement Clarke Moore, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

My son left a note for Santa last night on the kitchen table along with milk and cookies.  Among other things, my son asked Santa to e-mail him.  This morning, there was a lovely e-mail from Santa in my son's In Box.

"One of the best gifts you can give someone is love," Santa wrote.  "Did you know that?  If you have a brother or sister, an Uncle or Aunt, a Mom or Dad, remember to tell people that are important to you that you love them.  I know how much of a nice present it is because I have many children that write to me tell me that they love me.  That is the best present Santa can have."

Love and kindness are important to Santa, and to us all.  Let us honor Christmas by showing a little more love and a little more kindness.  May your hearts be filled with joy and peace.