The Kindness of Remembering Together

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."
― Bruce Lee

This afternoon, I ran into the son of a dear friend who died 18 months ago.  The son had seen me enter a restaurant where he was eating and came to our table to say hello.  He showed me a photo in which his sister looked uncannily like their mother.  My hair stood on end, we hugged, our eyes filled with tears...  When my family and I were leaving the restaurant, we looked for the son.  He saw us and again got up from his table to say goodbye.

My friend -- his mother -- is missed very much and, of course, by no one more than her family.  I was very touched by this young man's kindness in making an effort to say hello to me and in his giving us both an opportunity to remember her -- together.

Kudos for Kindness

"The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us?"
― Dorothy Day

A very special friend of mine who works overseas wrote recently to say that he was trying to help a friend who is going through a hard time, but he was not sure what to do.  He wrote, "He's my friend and I want to supportive, but I feel helpless.  It seems my only option is to do any and all kindnesses I can just to try to eliminate other stresses, minor though they may be."  Wow, I thought, talk about kindness!  My friend is trying to do "any and all kindnesses" he can.  Imagine what the world would be like if everyone embraced his approach.

Girls, Hugs and Kindness

"I have learned that there is more power in a good strong hug than in a thousand meaningful words."
― Ann Hood

So much is written and said about "mean girls" and I certainly see enough of it, so I am thrilled when I see the opposite.  This evening as we were leaving a school event, two girls called out my daughter's name.  She ran to where they were and they gave her big goodbye hugs.  My daughter was new at the school just nine months ago and now she feels very much at home there.  She has developed great friendships with several girls at the school and I know that kindness is at the heart of those relationships.

The Kindness of Openness

"Compassionate action emerges from the sense of openness, connectedness, and discernment you have created."
― Joan Halifax

A woman I know was leaving a school event this morning.  As she drove out of the campus, she stopped her car and rolled down her window to compliment one of the other mothers on her daughter's performance.  It was a mom she did not know well.  The mother approached the car and said, "I have to ask you a favor."  Of course, the woman I know replied.  "Since you are a spiritual person, I was wondering if you would pray for our nephew..."  She went on to explain that her teenage nephew had just been diagnosed with cancer.  The woman I know promised to pray for him.

A few minutes later, the woman I know remembered that she had wanted to reach out to another mother about an issue with one of her children.  The mother she planned on calling was not someone she knew well, but for some reason, she felt comfortable consulting her.  She sent the mother a text asking when might be a good time to talk.  Two minutes later, the other mother called and they talked about the issue.

As the woman I know continued on her way, she thought about the chain of events -- one woman asking another for help, who in turn asked another...  She was grateful that the first woman had asked her for prayers -- even if she didn't feel like the spiritual person the other woman imagined her to be. 

 

There is kindness in opening our hearts to others.  When we open our hearts, things we might not expect happen.  Openness encourages connection, which makes way for compassion and allows us to care for and support each other.

Kindness of the Unforgettable Kind

"My heroes are and were my parents.  I can't see having anyone else as my heroes."

― Michael Jordan

 

One of my dearest friends was in San Francisco this weekend.  He and his sister had taken their parents there for an early 60th anniversary trip.  Their parents had never been to the Bay Area, but had always wanted to go.  And although my friend and his sister have their own families, they went just the four of them.  I asked him when was the last time he and his sister had traveled with their parents like that.  About 40 years ago, he figured.  He sent me a photo of the foursome by the Golden Gate Bridge.  They looked so happy and I was glad that they were able to share such a memorable experience.

Once we become parents, we spend most of our time providing and caring for our children.  How wonderful that -- despite very busy professional lives and children of their own -- these grown children were so thoughtful to plan a very special trip for their parents.  That's kindness of the truly unforgettable kind.

Kindness in a Shell

"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out.  To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."
― Mother Teresa

One of the Kindness Muses was visiting from out of town and brought us a lovely gift of small decorated shells.  The shells are trimmed in gold paint and have inspirational messages written on the inside.  One of our shells has "The Lord is My Shepherd."  Others have one-word messages:  "Faith" and "Trust."  The Kindness Muse shared that the shells were painted by a woman who runs a car service.  The woman gives the shells to her customers and to others as her contribution to making the world a kinder place.  Her messages in the beautifully decorated shells are reminders of what's important.

The Kindness of Focus

"When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are blessed in abundance."
― Joel Osteen

I have a friend who is incredibly focused -- she makes things happen.  When she sets her sights on something, watch out!  So many people benefit from the kindness of her focus, but she shrugs it off as no big deal.  Over the years, her efforts have ranged from setting up a Chinese language school for preschoolers to planning meaningful family vacations overseas to organizing events to celebrate others.  Her latest venture was helping with her great aunt's 90th birthday celebration.

This weekend, generations of the family gathered to celebrate the great aunt's 90th birthday.  They traveled across the country and across the state.  Everyone had a wonderful time and benefitted from my friend's endless reserve of focus and generosity.