The Kindness of the Gracious Guest

"You cease to move into yourself, away from others.  You give up your antagonism.  You begin to move toward others in love.  God moved toward you in gracious, outgoing love, and you move toward others in that same outgoing love."
― E. Stanley Jones

Nine years ago, a friend of mine from college came to visit with her husband and two children over 4th of July weekend.  I still remember what terrific house guests they were.  They were pleasant and helpful.  They cleaned up after themselves.  They made dinner for us one night.  And then as the ultimate house guests, they washed the sheets and towels they used before leaving!

I was reminded of their kind graciousness recently as we traveled for a long weekend with another family.  They were great traveling companions.  Conversation was easy and we enjoyed each other's company.  The mom, who is incredibly thoughtful, brought all kinds of treats, and made several of her specialties for us to enjoy.  At departure time, her husband helped my husband load our car with our luggage. 

Visits from friends and trips can create great memories.  And the memory of kindness during those special occasions endures as well.

The Kindness of Looking on the Bright Side

"I do believe we're all connected.  I do believe in positive energy.  I do believe in the power of prayer.  I do believe in putting good out into the world.  And I believe in taking care of each other."
― Harvey Fierstein

I have a very special mom friend who always makes me feel better.  I finally asked her the other day, "Are you a glass half full kind of person?"  Yes, she answered.

I don't know if it is being a glass half-full kind of person only, but I frequently amazed -- pleasantly, of course -- by her responses to situations.  With a can-do attitude, she makes you feel that you can do, too.  She has an enthusiasm for life that is nothing less than contagious.  Whether she is talking about a recipe or an adventure, her positive energy is ever-present.  If anyone begins to mope about a situation, she will spotlight the bright side until you see it, too.  And her problem-solving skills are beyond compare.  She is funny and warm and a great friend, and her kindness in seeing the positive and sharing that freely leaves a trail of good energy in her wake.

The Kindness of a Teenager

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
-- e.e. cummings

Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed, but one of my children has a friend who gives teenagers a good name with her kindness.  She actually thinks of others and anticipates others' needs.  One day as I supervised a group of them at the pool, I was going to sit down, but noticed that the chair was wet.  Before I could grab a towel, she said, "You can sit on my towel."  If she sees me cleaning up or carrying things, she will ask me if I need help.  This teenager has many terrific qualities and her kindness is one that truly stands out.

The Kindness of Surprise

"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved.  It is God's finger on man's shoulder."
-- Charles Morgan

While I was traveling for business last week, one of my dearest friends stopped by my house and surprised my children with a huge jar of Nutella.  With this and many other kindnesses, she constantly reminds my children of how much she loves them.

The Kindness of Providing Calm and Clarity

"The secret of success is to be in harmony with existence, to be always calm, to let each wave of life was us a little farther up the shore."
―  Cyril Connolly

One of my favorite ideas is from Sylvia Boorstein, a teacher of Buddhist mindfulness, who says that it is important to breathe to calm our bodies, so that our minds can calm down, and that enables us to have clarity, which leads us to see choices, and gives us hope and courage.  

But sometimes, it is hard to do that on our own.

As I rushed to the airport yesterday, worried about missing my flight and not making it home for my daughter's birthday, I called a friend from the cab.  I needed her to help me with a birthday-related surprise.  She was definitely the person for the job.  When she was told that the order I wanted to place needed to be done with 48 hours' notice as opposed to the 24 hours I had been told, she simply replied "ridiculous!" and proceeded to get it done.  Her helping me with that is certainly kindness enough.  But the greater gift that she gave me was that as I was panicking about not getting home, she told me not to worry that there were plenty of flights from where I was to our city.  She said she knew because she had flown from there before.  I believed her and calmed down. 

Sometimes, we need the kindness of our friends to help us out of panic and into calm.

Princely Kindness

"Helping others isn't a chore; it is one of the greatest gifts there is."
― Liya Kebede

Years ago, I decided that it was no fun to run through an airport to catch a flight, so I stopped cutting it close and try mightily to give myself ample time to navigate airports.

But sometimes, things don't quite work out the way we plan.

On the way back home from a business trip, I gave myself 10 minutes more than the hotel personnel suggested for the cab ride to the airport.  But a bad accident on the highway prevented me from enjoying my ample time approach and had me worried that I would miss the flight.  That I was trying to make it home for one of my children's birthdays made things worse.  When my cab arrived at the airport, I jumped out and raced through the airport.  As I approached the security checkpoint, the young man checking IDs reached around the person in front of me to take my ID and boarding pass.  Then he announced that I had been selected for expedited screening, so I did not have to remove my shoes.  Incredulous, I thanked him profusely and told him he was a prince as I ran to the checkpoint.  Without my asking, the person ahead of me trying to get his bags through the screening machine waved me ahead of him, and off I went.  I made the flight.

* * *

When I was a child, there was a comic strip in the newspaper -- "Love is..." -- that my mother loved.  It was created by New Zealand artist Kim Grove. 

In that spirit...

Kindness is...  when two friends let you buy them a couple of gallons of milk at the drugstore after they realize that they have left the husband's wallet in the car.

The Kindness of a Traveling Gentleman

“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

There is something about traveling that seems to generate acts of kindness. It may be that because many of us travel alone, we have opportunities to give and to receive kindness to help each other along the journey.

On an early morning flight today, a woman was wondering if there would be room for her carry-on bag in the overhead compartment. A gentleman motioned to the flight attendant and said that his bag was a hanging bag and that perhaps it could be moved to make room for her. The attendant thanked him, but said that they had found a place for it.

Shortly after takeoff, the gentleman pulled out the widest three-ring binder I have ever seen and poured over it for most of the flight. Sitting next to him was a scruffy young man who looked as though he had not slept or perhaps even bathed for a couple of days. Shortly before landing, the young man asked the gentleman about the binder. Expecting a reply that would cut off further questions, I was instead surprised to hear the gentleman explain – in a very kind and gracious way – that he was an attorney reviewing documents. He then asked the young man about his travels, and when he heard that the young man had just returned from Brazil for the World Cup, he very enthusiastically asked him all about it.