Kindness, Memories and the New Year

"Life is short,

And we do not have much time

to gladden the hearts of those who

make the journey with us.

So... be swift to love,

and make haste to be kind."

~ Henri Frederic Amiel

Earlier today, I heard someone talking about his nostalgia for the wonderful moments of the year gone by.  My best memories are generally those where kindness has played a role.  As we move into a new year, let us find ways to gladden the hearts of those on this journey with us.

Kindness and Shopping

"Sharing is good, and with digital technology, sharing is easy."

~ Richard Stallman

I have a friend who is a great shopper -- great in the sense that she finds the best prices for items that she and her family need.  A bonus of her savvy shopping is that she graciously shares those finds.  And frequently she will call me from a store to ask if I need whatever she is buying.  Most recently, she was on holiday travel and texted me to ask if I needed some items that she was purchasing -- I did.  And so she bought them for me.

The Kindness of Spreading Good Cheer

"The man who radiates good cheer, who makes life happier wherever he meets it, is always a man of vision and faith."

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

My mom friend visiting in Boston wrote to share that they have decided that whenever they go to a coffee shop, they will look for someone who might need a coffee and a bagel, and buy it for that person.  Nothing like spreading a little good cheer...

The Kindness of Recognizing Humanity

"Human life has meaning only to that degree and as long as it is lived in the service of humanity."

~ Wole Soyinka

A gentleman I have known very well for more than 20 years recently surprised me when he shared that he says hello to everyone -- whether he knows them or not.  Really?  I asked him why.  "I want to recognize the humanity of each person," he said.  This is the same gentleman who keeps 15-20 umbrellas in his car to give to people on the street when it rains.  He was quick to tell me -- at least twice -- that the umbrella idea is not original and that he picked it up from someone he knows.

Kindness on a Boston Street

"Christmas is a tonic for our souls.  It moves us to think of others rather than of ourselves.  It directs our thoughts to giving."

~ B.C. Forbes

It was not a super cold December morning in Boston, but cold enough for a 10-year-old Florida boy visiting with his family.  He and his father were en route to a Dunkin' Donuts for much-needed coffee when the boy saw a homeless gentleman.  Without any encouragement from his father, the boy went up to the gentleman on the street and asked him if he wanted anything from the donut shop.  The gentleman said he would appreciate coffee and then the boy asked if he would like a bagel or a donut.  The boy went inside and returned with coffee and a bagel for the homeless gentleman.  When his mother heard the story, said she had "tears of joy inside."

Kindness on Christmas Morning

"As we give presents at Christmas, we need to recognize that sharing our time and ourselves is such an important part of giving."

~ Gordon B. Hinkley

One of the best gifts we received on Christmas morning came as we were opening presents under the tree.  Our faraway friends called us via FaceTime and we were able to share our Christmas morning with them for a few precious minutes.  As an old long-distance telephone slogan used to say, it was "the next best thing to being there."

The Kindness of Sharing Good Cheer

"This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone."

~ Taylor Caldwell

'Twas a few nights before Christmas

And all through the house

Everyone was still sleeping

Except a bleary-eyed Mom.

Before dawn, she awoke

and through sleepy eyes,

got up to wrap more gifts

for the teachers' surprise.

It was dark and she was tired

And she wondered

how she would get it all done.

When all of a sudden,

a small light caught her eye.

She looked at her cell phone and saw

a text ready to read

from her other-side-of-the-world friend,

14 hours ahead.

She read her friend's message

And was delighted to feel

A smile spread across her face

And a sense of good cheer.

Merry Christmas to all!

And to all a good night.

Kindness, Friends and Christmas

"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."

~ Dr. Seuss

It's a chicken and egg kind of thing...  I'm not sure whether Christmas makes us appreciate our friends more or whether the gift of friendship makes it feel like Christmas.  Either way, Christmas and friendship feel very connected to me.  On a recent evening, my children had a couple of friends over.  The friends went with us to my mother's house to help decorate her tree.  They came back to our home and sang songs, and then they proceeded to our kitchen to make slime (which somehow has become very popular).  A few minutes later, I overhead one of the friends say:  "This is true friendship: Sitting in someone's kitchen making slime."  It does feels like Christmas.

Christmas Kindness Abounds

"The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of love and of generosity and of goodness.  It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world's busy life and become more interested in people than in things."

~ Thomas S. Monson

With all the last-minute hurry scurry on the street, it is refreshing to hear stories of kindness.  Last evening, a friend shared that as she hunted for a parking space, she saw a driver backing out and she made way for him.  The space was a valet space, but the gentleman from the valet service insisted that she park there as she had been so helpful.  I also heard from my friend in Australia about kindness on a bus in Sydney:  A mother with two toddlers and an infant was on the bus and getting ready to get out at her stop.  An older woman asked the mother if she could help her unload her cargo.  The older woman led the toddlers off the bus while the mother maneuvered the infant in the stroller.  Kindness certainly makes it feel like Christmas!

The Kindness of Understanding What Matters to Someone

"Family is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter."

~ G.K. Chesterton

Today would have been my grandfather's 96th birthday.  My grandfather was a very special person in our lives and he figures prominently in most of my childhood memories.  I still remember the feel of his hand as I held it walking through parking lots... He always made me feel safe and loved.  My grandfather also took me to the library and taught me about politics.  Christmas seemed to begin on his birthday every year -- even when I was away at college.  It was always important to be home by December 22nd.  I mentioned my grandfather's birthday to my son as I drove him to school this morning.  My son, who is named in part after my grandfather, surprised me by singing Happy Birthday to his great-grandfather.  I'm not sure whether I got teary because I still miss my grandfather or because I was so touched by my son's appreciating something so important to me.

Kindness and Christmas Magic

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."

~ Norman Vincent Peale

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a small Christmas tree at the grocery store.  It's a very small tree, kind of like a Charlie Brown tree -- small and scrawny.  I put it outside our front door and had not quite decided on a permanent place for it.  When I arrived home recently, I found that someone had decorated it complete with a gold bow at the top!

Kindness and Mom Friends

"Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated."

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

There are a million moments each year when I am grateful for my mom friends and the end-of-year rush is no exception.  There is the mother who offers to pick up the slack for you on a classroom project because she knows you are swamped.  There is the mom who calls your child on her birthday and has a long conversation with her.  There is the mom who calls to help you sort out friend drama.  And there are all the other mom friends who are there to accompany you every step of this precious parenting journey.  Knowing they are just a text or call away makes all the difference.

'Tis the Season for Kindness

"For me, I think everybody with half a heart tries to do their best to do their part of good during the holiday season."

~ Darren Criss

On a recent evening, I ran into a mom friend at our local CVS.  Both of us were on last-minute scrambles for various season-related items... gift tags (would you believe CVS ran out?) and small cellophane bags for goodies (what was I thinking?).  We both walked around in a sort of holiday-induced stupor searching in vain for our items.  My mom friend said that she had leftover small gift bags from her daughter's birthday that she could give me.  I offered gift tags that I was sure I had at home.  

Kindness and a Stranger

"Pour God's love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles."

~ Shannon Adler

A woman I know was at a CVS, waiting for a cashier to open the register.  As the cashier made it to the register, another woman walked up to the register and proceeded to pay for her item.  The woman at the register suddenly realized that the first woman had been waiting.  She apologized to the first woman, who told her not to worry and to just go ahead and pay for her item.

The Kindness of a Reminder

"Rejoice always.  Pray without ceasing.  In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

On a recent morning, I was feeling a little overwhelmed -- a week filled with work travel, an event, family milestones...  A friend of mine texted me and reminded me of the calming influence of prayer.  

The Kindness of Helping Hands

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."

~ John Wooden

A woman I know was facing a day with a long to-do list.  As she began to make her way through it, two people unexpectedly reached out to help.  An hour into her day, life had already become more manageable.

Kindness, Soap and Memories

"Some memories are unforgettable, remaining ever vivid and heartwarming!"

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

My grandfather used to buy soaps for my grandmother.  She had sensitive skin and used special soaps -- I can still see them... pink bars individually wrapped in black paper with flowery yellow lettering.  On Saturday afternoons, I would accompany my grandfather on errands and frequently a visit to the pharmacy that carried the soaps was on our list.  Fast forward several decades:  My husband buys me a special brand of soap that I like.  The store where we used to buy the soaps doesn't always have them, so he puts in a special order.  I love the soaps and greatly appreciate his thoughtfulness, which reminds me of my grandparents.

Kindness and Positive Feedback

"We all need people who will give us feedback.  That's how we improve."

~ Bill Gates

I have a friend who also is a professional colleague.  Recently, she attended a meeting that I had organized.  She called me after the meeting to tell me how much she enjoyed it and how she truly loves being involved with the organization. 

Kindness and the Grumpy Gentleman

"Am I grumpy?  I might be.  But I think maybe sometimes it's misinterpreted."

~ Harrison Ford

Getting ready to board a recent flight, I noticed an older gentleman who was very eager to get on the airplane.  He seemed bothered by having to wait.  Surprise -- when I made it on board, it turned out that he was my seatmate.  I apologized for his having to get up, so that I could get into my seat by the window.  He didn't respond; he just seemed bothered by my presence.  During the flight, he harrumphed as another gentleman spoke loudly and in generally just seemed grumpy.  In my mind, my seatmate became Grumpy Man.  At one point, when I had fallen asleep, I felt his arm across me as he lowered the window shade.  He told me the light was bothering him.  (For my part, I like to see what is going on outside, which is why I choose a window seat.)  Once we landed, he muttered under his breath about the same gentleman who was now talking quite loudly on his mobile phone.  But Grumpy Man surprised me.  He pulled out his two bags from the overhead compartment, and then without a word, pulled mine out and set it in front of me.  

Kindness and a Speaker

“Because that’s what kindness is.  It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can.”

~ Andrew Iskander

I recently was at a business meeting when the gentleman presenting tried clearing his throat a couple of times; he seemed to have something caught in his throat.  Within seconds, two of the participants handed him cups of water.  “That’s very kind,” he said, gratefully drank the water and carried on.

The Kindness of Christmas Cheer… at the Airport

“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting.  It is happiness because we see joy in people.  It is forgetting self and finding time for others.  It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values.”

~ Thomas S. Monson

A woman I know recently had to travel for work – and really didn’t want to.  It was over the weekend during the holiday season and she had a whole host of other reasons why she did not want to travel.  She arrived at the airport with the grumpiness factor at an all-time high.  She asked if upgrades were available – no, full flight.  And then as she waited at the gate, one of the airline gate employees, sporting a colorful necklace of oversized plastic holiday lights, took out a guiro, a Latin American percussion instrument, and proceeded to play it and sing Christmas songs.  Madame Grumpy burst out laughing.  Minutes later as she sat on the plane, the airline employee once again walked up and down the aisle playing the funny little instrument and singing, “I Wanna Wish You a Merry Christmas.”  It was impossible not to smile and the joy of the season.

The Kindness of a Ride

"Be a little kinder than you have to."

~ E. Lockhart

On a recent weekend, my children were participating in a competition that was at quite a distance from our house.  A mom friend invited us to drive to her house and then she would drive the longer distance.  It was not only a generous thing of her to do, but also much more fun for both my children and me.

Kindness and Peace of Mind

"The greatest gift we give each other is peace of mind."

~ MM

A mother who was picking up my daughter as well as hers texted me on a recent evening:  "I'll text you when the girls are with me for your peace of mind."  Her thoughtful text reminded me of a gift tag that one of my dearest friends once gave me with the quote above.  I keep that tag in my agenda where I can see it every day.  It reminds me of my friend, who is living very far away these days, and it reminds me to give others peace of mind whenever I can.  It truly is a great gift.

The Kindness of the Next Best Thing

"Never suppress a generous thought."

~ Camilla Eyring Kimball

My son recently went on a school field trip.  When they asked for chaperone volunteers, I volunteered -- I know that my field trip days are numbered (the children are growing up faster than I could ever have imagined.)  Unfortunately, I did not get chosen as they selected two parents who have not chaperoned before.  Thankfully, my son is old enough to understand this.  I, on the other hand, was a little sad...  Again, I know my days of field trip chaperoning will be over in a few months.  And then midway through the day, I was pleasantly and unexpectedly surprised with a photo that the teacher thoughtfully sent of my son at the museum.  Sometimes the next best thing is still priceless.

The Kindness of Sharing Experiences

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures.  For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

~ Khalil Gibran

For me, one of the best things about technology -- and specifically the ability to send photos and messages immediately through our mobile phones -- is that it enables us to share experiences with friends and family.  I love sending and receiving photos from friends as it enables us to get a sense of what the other is doing in a very vivid way.  On the same evening that I shared photos of my family members dressed up in costume for a party, a friend shared a cute comment that her son had made and a former colleague wrote to me about his experiences presenting at a conference in Africa.  I truly appreciate my friends' sharing their lives with me.

Kindness and a Ride Home

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are her for I don't know."

~ W. H. Auden

On a recent afternoon, a mother I know was involved in an event that ran longer than she anticipated, which meant that she would be late to pick up her son at school.  She called her husband, but he was unavailable.  Another mother at the event told the mother that her babysitter could pick up the child.  Calls were made to the school, a map with directions to the house was texted to the babysitter and the mother breathed a sigh of relief.

Kindness and Magic Bars

"Kindness is the touch of heaven, a reminder of the covenant of the unseen."

~ Mark Anthony

I was in my kitchen recently after making another batch of "magic bars."  My son really likes them, but this was my second attempt in as many weeks and I just wasn't getting it right.  As I washed the pan in the sink, I remembered the first time I tasted the delicious cookie bars.  A colleague of mine at work made me a batch for Christmas and gave it to me in a beautiful antique cookie tin.  That was 26 years ago...  Kindness has staying power.

The Kindness of a Polite and Generous Refusal

"Sometimes 'no' is the kindest word."

~ Vironika Tugaleva

On a recent Sunday, we attended the coffee hour after church services.  I went into the kitchen toward the end to help the woman who had hosted clean up.  Thank you, but no, she said.  And with a smile, she told me to go and enjoy the rest of the day with my family.

The Kindness of Raising a Young Man of Character

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."

~ Jackie Kennedy

I recently took a group of teenagers to a school dance.  The girls were accompanied by a remarkable young man.  You could call him a Super Young Man.  (Yes, he once jumped over a bush to open my car door.)  This young man is incredibly polite and opening car doors is just one of the many habits that he has.  On our way to the dance, I asked him about a movie I was going to watch as I figured I would be arriving a few minutes late.  He pulled up a summary of the movie on his phone to tell me about the beginning.  And then when I dropped off the group at the school, I watched this young man shake the hand of the school principal as he entered the dance.  As I drove away from the school, I realized that I felt so much better about leaving my daughters and their friends at the dance given that this young man was with them.  

The Kindness of Checking In on Each Other

"Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community."

~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

Something unusual happened in the quiet community where we live.  An armed man broke into a house, tied up the person inside and ransacked the home.  The schools in our community were on lock down and the police were urging people to stay home while they looked for the suspect.  Before I even heard the news, I received a call from my brother wanting to know where I and my children were.  A series of calls and texts followed between and among people, most within the community as well as some from other places who had heard the news.  By day's end, the police had not found the burglar, but we were reminded of our sense of community.

Kindness and Bananas

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart."

~ Cesar Chavez

The other day, I was driving around between errands and picking up children.  As I drove to pick up one of my children's friends, I realized that I had not eaten much and it was getting late in the day.  I rummaged through my purse and found a Ziploc bag about a quarter-filled with Cheerios.  Not enough, but...  When I called the mother of the child I was picking up to tell her I was almost there, she asked me if I wanted a couple of bananas from one of her trees.  I was thrilled.

Kindness, a Grandmother and a Cake

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."

~ Scott Adams

A grandmother I know lives in an apartment building.  Recently, it was the birthday of the gentleman who works at the building's front desk in the evenings.  On her way home from work, the grandmother bought a cake and a candle.  She called her grandchildren who live in the building and they all sang Happy Birthday to the building employee.  

The Kindness of Thanksgiving Veggies

"Ask yourself:  Have you been kind today?  Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world."

~ Annie Lennox

We usually go to a friend's house on Thanksgiving evening, but this year, she did not host Thanksgiving at her house  (although she did have a terrific post-Thanksgiving celebration).  On Thanksgiving morning, my friend sent me a photo of brightly colored vegetables that she was cooking for us -- even though we would not be eating at her house that day.

The Kindness of Clean-up Help

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books -- especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."

~ John Wooden

Clean-up help is always a biggie -- whether it's after a children's birthday party or a dinner or even a play date.  Additional hands make the clean up go faster and it's generally more fun.  On a recent Sunday, my family and I helped with the coffee hour at church and afterward, one of our favorite mother-daughter teams stayed to help us clean up.  And all this with triplet boys in tow.

Kindness and Another Thank You

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."

~ G.B. Stern

Years ago, I gave a friend a copy of one of my favorite books.  Unfortunately, I don't see my friend as often as I used to.  Recently, I was surprised to receive a text from her in which she shared that she was rereading the book and that she liked it even more than the first time.  My friend thanked me again.  It was nice to know that she was still enjoying the book and I appreciated hearing from her.

The Kindness of Running an Errand

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."

~ Ronald Reagan

On Thanksgiving, a widower sitting next to me at Mass shared this story:  As he was leaving Mass on a recent Sunday, there was a table outside with volunteers asking for help with a project to buy Christmas gifts for the children of prisoners.  They asked him if he wanted to participate and he wondered aloud how -- given that his wife had died less than a year before.  Another parishioner overhead him.  A widow herself, she told him that she would buy the gift for him.  A few days later, she called to say that the gift was ready.  He added that it was beautifully wrapped.    

The Kindness of Planning Good Times

"My motto is: more good times."

~ Jack Nicholson

A dear friend of mine had an impromptu post-Thanksgiving dinner at her house.  Why?  When she called an older female relative to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving, the older woman shared this simple piece of wisdom:  "You have to go looking for the good times because the bad times come on their own."  Having lost her father just two months ago, my friend knows that all too well.  So she pulled together a wonderful evening with family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"I am grateful for what I am and have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual."

~ Henry David Thoreau

I woke up this morning to this beautiful text from one of my dearest friends:  "Happy Thanksgiving.  May God give us the grace to see all the things to be thankful for..."  Amen.

Kindness and Cranberries

"If you are really thankful, what do you do?  You share."

~ W. Clement Stone

Who decides to go to the grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve?  Of course, yours truly.  One of my children and I weaved through the other last-minute shoppers, and tried to find the items we needed.  As we did that, my husband called with additional items, including cranberry sauce.  After looking twice  in the canned fruit aisle, I asked one of the grocery store employees for help, but he was not sure where it was.  And then another shopper came over and said to me, "I'm sorry, but I overheard your asking about the cranberry sauce.  It's right over here."  And she pointed to a special display.

Kindness and the Lasting Impact of a Gift

"But what doesn't die is the love we give to others.  There is no end to that."

~ Gloria Whelan

I recently spoke to a former colleague on the telephone and she asked how my children were doing.  As we were talking, I glanced at my bookshelf and saw a small scrapbook that she had given more more than 14 years ago.  She had decorated the pages, so all I had to do was adhere the photos to the pages and I had an immediate scrapbook of one of my children's first months at home.  I love the scrapbook as does the child who is featured in it.  I mentioned to my former colleague how very much we appreciate the book, and she and I marveled at how much time had gone by.  The lasting power of kindness never ceases to amaze me.

Kindness and Knitting

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
~ Winston Churchill

I was inspired by a story I saw in the news:  An 86-year-old gentleman living in an assisted-living facility learned how to knit, so that he could make caps for premature babies.  It took the gentleman several days to get the hang of knitting, but he did and managed to make a number of caps for the newborns.  He plans to continue to make caps.

Just thinking how hard it is for me to learn something new, I was awestruck by the determination and generosity of this octogenarian.

The Kindness in a Meal

"The way to anybody's heart is through a thoughtfully prepared, beautifully executed, lovingly presented meal."

~ Leo Buscaglia

On a recent Sunday evening, we drove to the house of some friends to drop off their daughter who had been out with our children.  When we arrived, the father came to our car to give us a pasta dish that he had made.  We were delighted and assured him that his dish would be lunch and dinner the next day.

"Make America Kind Again"

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people.  A nation does not need to be cruel to be tough."

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Make America Kind Again."  It's not my idea, but it is certainly a good one.  A California mom came up with the slogan several weeks before the election.  After she designed the sign, someone contacted her about creating a yard sign and now she is receiving orders for various items with the catchy slogan.

"It's not to support or oppose a candidate," the mom says.  "It's a message that kindness is something we can all agree on.  It's not about the winner or loser.  It's about what people of both parties can do to really come together and move forward."

Amen.

Kindness and a Barber Shop Quartet

"Music is a moral law.  It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything."

~ Plato

On a recent Sunday at a church event, we were treated to songs by a barber shop quartet.  The tunes immediately took me back to another time...  Saturday evenings at my grandparents' house watching the Lawrence Welk Show.  It was a beautiful thing to hear.  The men all looked to be in their late 50s or 60s and perhaps one in his 70s.  They shared that they sometimes sing at hospitals for children.  I marveled at the power of music and camaraderie to gladden hearts. 

Kindness and the Laundry

"Love your neighbor... and in doing so, do it as you love yourself!  Take up the loads that will cause your neighbor a neck pain..."

~ Israelmore Ayivor

Where I live, we share a communal laundry room.  On a recent evening, I went to the laundry room to pick up clothes that had needed extra drying.  I found both dryers empty.  When I arrived home, I saw our laundry basket with the clothes neatly folded inside.  I asked one of my children how that had happened.  A laundry fairy?  Almost: One of our neighbors had folded our laundry and brought it to our home.

Kindness and a Mother-Daughter Duo

"Good people can get you out of a thousand problems with charm and kindness."

~ Anouska Hempel

At one of my children's schools, there is a formidable mother-daughter duo.  They are mother and grandmother to a set of triplet boys.  Nearly always, they travel as a pair -- to pick up and drop off the boys, to parties and to church on Sundays.  In addition to being incredibly nice, they also happen to be very funny and I always have a great time with them.  On a recent morning, one of them discovered that my car -- with brand new tires -- had a large screw in one of the tires.  That is certainly enough to ruin one's day, but thanks to these women, my day was anything but awful.  They kindly offered to drive me to a lunch meeting.  But before, we made a pit stop at one of my favorite shops as they needed to pick something up.  Inside the store, I fell in love with a scarf and was planning to buy it for myself.  I went to the cashier to pay for the scarf only to discover that the grandmother had bought it for me as a birthday gift.  And then the daughter shared that she had bought me a  necklace I had admired.  I was overwhelmed by these women's thoughtfulness.  I greatly enjoyed the time that I spent with them -- thanks to the screw in my tire -- and as the three of us laughed in the car, I realized that I was having a pretty good day.

Kindness in a Voice

"The human voice is the organ of the soul."

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I hadn't spoken to my friend on the other side of the world in weeks.  Toward the end of a somewhat crazy day during which I had wished more than once for her presence, I texted her to ask if she could talk.  "How did you know I was thinking about you?" she immediately texted back.  We ended up talking for more than an hour and through my evening errands... through the pharmacy, to pick up dinner...  It was a longer conversation than usual and exactly what I needed on that kind of a day.  Just the sound of her voice warms my heart and lifts my spirits.

Kindness and a Major Assist

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."

~ Thomas Aquinas

You really hope that you don't have to disturb another mom at night and ask, "Do you have a car and 30 minutes?"  But on a recent evening, I did.  It seems that after hurrying from work to pick up children to take them to another activity, I managed to bring the sandwiches -- but not their musical instruments.  There was no way that I could make it back home and get them to their rehearsal on time, so I called one of my dearest mom friends and asked the question.  And she replied: "What do you need?"  Off she went to my house to pick up two violins.  She then drove over two bridges and met me at the parking lot of an urgent care center. (Just what you want to do after you have arrived comfortably back at your house after work.)  When I called my friend's husband afterward to tell him how much I appreciated it, he seemed surprised and just said, "That's what we do -- help each other out."  Yes, but that was a pretty big assist.

The Kindness of the Tribe

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

~ Richard Bach

I recently attended an awards ceremony for three women, including one I have known since high school.  Several tables at the event were filled with people this woman affectionately called her "tribe."  They ranged from her mother and the mother's friends to cousins, co-workers and friends from various stages of her life.  In accepting the award, this woman said that while her bank account might not be large, she is grateful for all the members of her tribe.  It was quite a sight -- all the people who showed up to share in her joy.

Small and Simple Kindnesses

"Sometimes, the simple things are more fun and meaningful than all the banquets in the world."

~ E. A. Bucchianeri

It's the little things... There are days when I need a pick-me-up.  And somehow on those days, unexpected kindnesses come my way.  It might be the surprise "I love you" from a teenager as she rushes off to school or someone waving me through in traffic before I even try to signal an ask.  It might be my son's suggestion that we go to our favorite dessert shop or a friend's silliness that makes me laugh.  Small and simple, but they all make me smile and lift my spirits.  

The Kindness of Military Service

"The veterans of our military services have put their lives on the line to protect the freedoms that we enjoy.  They have dedicated their lives to their country and deserve to be recognized for their commitment."

~ Judd Gregg

At an early morning service commemorating Veterans' Day this week, I heard a veteran talk about serving in the Vietnam War.  Soft-spoken and modest, he said what most of us are fortunate not to have experienced:  "war is hell."  After the ceremony, he shared with a few of us that he had won a Bronze Star and other honors for flying a number of missions.  Those of us who are blessed to live in peace enjoy it thanks to the sacrifice of so many veterans, current members of the military, and all of their families.  We owe them a debt of gratitude for their bravery, service and kindness.  

Kindness and Dessert

"Always find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life."

~ Roy T. Bennett

My lovely friend called me on a recent evening to see if I was home.  She wanted to drop off a piece -- it turned out to be a very large piece -- of one of my all-time favorite desserts.  Called a Pavlova, this wonderful concoction has a crunchy meringue base, dulce de leche and sliced strawberries.  My very thoughtful friend had bought a large Pavlova and wanted to share it.  My family and I were thrilled.

Kindness and Liquid Soap

"If we all do one random act of kindness daily, we just might set the world in the right direction."

~ Martin Kornfeld

During a recent out-of-town business meeting, I had a conversation with two slightly older colleagues.  They were talking about a liquid soap that increased in popularity a few decades ago.  I had never heard of it, but I listened as they extolled its virtues.  On the last day of our meeting as we were preparing to each leave for our home cities, one of the two colleagues gave me a small bottle of the soap -- complete with the top taped so that it would not leak in transit.

Kindness and Elections

"Don't let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."

~ Dalai Lama

During this crazy election season, I have wondered whether it is possible to run for office, not to mention win, without saying anything unkind about your opponent.  Regardless, and whatever ends up being the result, kindness toward each other is definitely the way to move forward.

The Kindness of Making It Easy to Ask

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."

~ Epicurus

Ah, my steadfast friend...  I recently needed help getting my children to an evening activity as I had a meeting at the same time.  I must admit that I did not hesitate to call my steadfast friend.  She immediately agreed to take my children to their activity and made me feel that it was not a bother.  Along the way, she texted me to let me know that they were getting a snack and then that she had dropped them off.  I found out later that the "snack" was actually a meal at a restaurant.  When I called my friend to thank her, she said, "It was not a big deal."  It was to me.

Kindness and a Saint's Biography

“Never suppress a generous thought.”

― Camilla Eyring Kimball

I am blessed with wonderful work colleagues.  Recently, I was visiting our headquarters in another city and saw one of my colleagues.  He asked me to visit him in his cubicle and then gave me a book – the biography of a new saint.  What he could not have known was that the future saint was my university commencement speaker.  Sometimes when people do nice things, they cannot imagine that they are being even more thoughtful than they know.

The Kindness of Agreeing to an Adventure

“Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale.”

~ Elsa Schiaparelli

During a recent out-of-town business meeting, I really wanted to try a restaurant that a friend from home had recommended, so I asked a couple of colleagues if they would for join me for a gastronomical adventure.  Graciously, they agreed.  The restaurant was a bit of a distance from the hotel at which we were staying, but my colleagues did not flinch.  We ended up going to a part of town that we had never visited and having an amazing meal.  The food was delicious, but I enjoyed the company just as much.

The Kindness of an Uber Alternative

"Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity."

~ José Martí

On a recent Saturday evening, I met a group of friends at a restaurant to celebrate a birthday.  My husband was going to pick me up at the end of the meal, but when everyone was ready to go, he was still at a distance from the restaurant.  I told him to worry that I would call Uber.  But friends of mine, a married couple, told me that they would take me home – even though it was half an hour out of the way and it was already late.  I enjoyed visiting with them on the ride to my house and greatly appreciated their generosity.

Kindness and Chocolate

“Chocolate is one of the world's most beloved discoveries, and when we need a quick boost of energy and endorphins, chocolate is the go-to treat.”

~ Marcus Samuelsson

I recently spent several days with a group of colleagues at a series of business meetings.  At the end of a long day of meetings, one of my co-workers pulled out two boxes of specialty chocolate bars that he had brought to share with us. It was funny to see a group of adults delight in choosing from a variety of somewhat-exotic flavors. We were quite thrilled about our special treat.  Our generous colleague, who has shared kindnesses with us in the past, put smiles on more than a dozen tired faces.

The Kindness of Responding with Love

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

~ Mother Teresa

Can you imagine if we responded to each other with love?  On a recent trip, I felt blessed by a series of kindnesses from strangers – the gentleman who let me on the plane ahead of him even though it was a very full flight, the other one who pulled my suitcase out of the overhead compartment (which was two rows behind my seat) once we landed …  Those strangers had a choice – to be kind to me or not.  And that got me thinking about the many choices and opportunities we face every day.  I wondered what it would be like to respond with love.  I decided to try it for a day.  As you might imagine, I failed pretty miserably pretty quickly, but I think it was worthwhile nonetheless.  It definitely made me more aware of how I respond to opportunities – and it also made me quieter.    

Kindness and Compliments

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.”

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I recently attended an early morning activity at my son’s school.  Because I was in a hurry, I had not had enough time to dry my hair, so I picked it up in a clip – not what I consider my best look.  A mom I ran into complimented me on how I looked.  “Really?” I asked.  “Really,” she said.  It was an immediate pick-me-up as anyone who has received a compliment when she doesn’t think she is looking her best knows.  It reminded me that a few days earlier, I had complimented another mother I know (who always looks fabulous) on a top she was wearing. I was surprised to hear her say, “Really?  I’m glad you are telling me that because I was unsure of it.”  Isn’t it amazing how easily we can lift each other’s spirits and make each other feel just a little more confident?

Kindness and a Napkin

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness."

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The other day, we were at the church hall for breakfast after the morning service and sitting at a U-shaped table with many others.  One of my children was sitting next to me and when I looked up, she had salad dressing not only on her mouth, but also on her cheek.  I looked down at the table for a napkin, but didn't find one.  A nanosecond later, a doctor who was sitting across from us handed me a napkin across the table.  He was in the middle of a conversation and did not seem to miss a beat.  

Kindness and a Church Service

"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important that your own."

~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

On a recent Sunday, we arrived at church before the service began.  A mom in the pew in front of us was lamenting that her husband had decided to watch a football game instead of joining the family at church.  She said that she was surprised to see her husband wearing his football shirt as she got their three children ready.  The mom admitted to a degree of huffing and puffing around the house before she left.  I smiled empathetically -- those things happen; sometimes spouses don't make the choices we would prefer.  And then just as the service was beginning, the back door of the small church opened and in walked her husband -- without his football shirt.  He slid into the pew with his wife and gave her a hug and a kiss.  Call me sentimental, but there was not much I could do as I felt my eyes water.

The Kindness of a Shared Salad

"God has given us two hands -- one to receive with and the other to give with.  We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing."

~ Billy Graham

On a recent Saturday morning over coffee, friends of ours -- a couple -- shared an experience they had had with a homeless person the day before.  They were on their way home from work when they saw a homeless man at the intersection asking drivers for help.  The husband asked him if he would like salad, which his wife was bringing home from the office.  Immediately, the gentleman's face lit up with a smile and he told them yes and that it was perfect because he was a vegetarian.  The wife also gave him some muesli that she had.  The man thanked them profusely.  The husband said that it felt so good to help someone else, even in such a small way.  

The Kindness of Celebration

"We make a living by what we get.  We make a life by what we give."

~ Winston S. Churchill

I recently had lunch with a former colleague and good friend.  She has had a rough time lately, including losing her partner of 15 years.  But that has not dimmed her capacity for giving.  She shared that a colleague of hers had celebrated a big birthday not too long ago.  (The birthday is so big that we have not arrived there yet.)  My friend then showed me photos of the celebrations that she had arranged for this colleague at work.  The night before the woman's birthday, my friend and others had stayed behind at the office to decorate the birthday girl's cubicle.  On the morning of the big day, my friend went to a specialty (and very donut shop and bought boxes of amazing concoctions to begin the birthday celebration.  My friend also hired mariachis to serenade the woman at work.  I have no doubt that the woman with the big birthday will never forget the wonderful celebration that my friend arranged for her.  And my friend managed to do this despite a heart that still aches.

Remembrances of Kindnesses Past

"Blessed are those who give without remembering and take without forgetting."

~ Elizabeth Bibesco

Sometimes I remember snippets of kindness that happened years ago.  It makes sense that we remember the major kindnesses, but it is fascinating to me that we remember the small ones, too.  For whatever reason, I recently was thinking about when I was pregnant with one of my children -- more than a decade ago -- and a colleague and dear friend would meet me at my car in the parking garage of where we worked to help me with whatever I was carrying to the office.  I also recalled friends who came to our house to make dinner for us when I was pregnant or the children were little.  And just a couple of nights ago, I shared with a random stranger who was talking about his brother's first baby that one of the greatest gifts I was given after one of the children was born was my sister-in-law holding the baby for a couple of hours.  Those kindnesses were priceless to me then and remain with me. 

Kindness in Reverse

"I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship."

~ Brené Brown

The other day as I was driving, I somehow ended up too far up at an intersection and blocking the pedestrian crosswalk.  I looked behind me to see if there was any room to back up and the driver behind me motioned for me to back up.  Such a small thing, but in that brief exchange, the other person demonstrated connection, understanding and help.

Kindness, a Field Trip and Photos

"Sharing is good, and with digital technology, sharing is easy."

~ Richard Stallman

I really enjoy going on my children's field trips.  Given that I am at the tail end of those experiences, I jump at every opportunity.  But I was not able to go on a recent field trip.  As I wondered how things were going, I was surprised to see two photos on my phone.  One of the teachers had kindly sent me pictures of my son having a wonderful time.  Definitely a great gift. 

The Kindness of Being Considerate

"One who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others.  He is considerate of others' feelings and courteous in his behavior.  He has a helpful nature.  Kindness pardons others' weaknesses and faults.  Kindness is extended to all -- to the aged and to young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high."

~ Ezra Taft Benson

I recently called a senior colleague at work -- something I rarely do.  When he answered, I asked if he had a couple of minutes.  He said he was heading out to a meeting, but gave me a couple of other times that same day when I could reach him.  I thought it was incredibly considerate of him to pick up when he so easily could have not.

The Kindness of a Bottle of Water

"Service is a smile.  It is an acknowledging wave, a reaching handshake, a friendly wink, and a warm hug.  It's these simple acts that matter most, because the greatest service to a human soul has always been the kindness of recognition.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

The other day, a mom friend texted me to share the following story:  She was jogging in her neighborhood and came across one of those yard waste pick-up teams.  One of the gentlemen offered her a bottle of water.  She was very touched because she would be back in her air conditioning in 15 minutes, but the gentleman cleaning up the waste would be in the heat for much longer.

The Kindness of a Neighbor, Part 2

"A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds.  A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."

~ Saint Basil

The woman I know who was asked to be a lector at her church became more nervous as the day of her reading for the first time approached.  But her neighbor had promised to sit next to her and get her through.  And there he was in the front row.  The neighbor went over the instructions with her, showed her at what distance to place the microphone, and said he would tap her on the shoulder every time that she had to get up to read.  The woman went up and did the first reading.  As she finished and began to walk back to her seat, she saw her neighbor punch his fist in the air -- the way someone would to cheer a great accomplishment.  The woman imagined that is how someone might react when another person wins a race (something she knows nothing about but decided must feel pretty good).  The neighbor got her through the three times she had to make her way to the altar.  After Mass, she told him how much she appreciated his kindness.  "It was nothing," he said and the woman believed that he had no clue how much he had helped her.  Sitting on his other side during Mass was a gentleman who would be doing the readings the following week and whom he was coaching, too.

The Kindness of a Truck in Reverse

"Did I offer peace today?  Did I bring a smile to someone's face?  Did I say words of healing?  Did I let go of my anger and resentment?  Did I forgive?  Did I love?  These are the real questions.  I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come."

~ Henri Nouwen

I was walking on the sidewalk in the downtown area of a nearby city when I stopped as I approached an alley because a truck was blocking my path.  I planned to wait until the driver pulled out onto the street.  But seeing me, the driver backed up the truck and signaled me to pass.  I smiled and waved.  He waved back.  It was a small thing, maybe even a tiny thing, but consider the different impact of an interaction when someone cuts us off in traffic or does something unkind.  Both kinds of interactions stay with us for a bit.  And in this case, every time I think about the truck backing up, I smile.