The Kindness of Quick Action

"Kindness is the sunshine in which virtue grows."

~ Robert Green Ingersoll

The other day I was standing in line at a sub shop waiting to pay.  A gentleman who was paying at the cashier dropped his keys.  Before he could even react, an elementary school-age boy in front of me bent down, grabbed the keys and returned them to the gentleman.

The Kindness of Verifying Spelling

"When our spelling is perfect, it's invisible.  But when it's flawed, it prompts negative associations."

~ Marilyn vos Savant

It may seem like a small thing -- spelling.  Unless you are someone for whom spelling matters.  However, the spelling of a name is always a big thing -- at least to the person whose name it is.  So I was very touched when the husband-wife parent team who volunteer to put together the yearbook at my son's school contacted me to make sure that my son's name was spelled correctly.  (Btw, there seems to be a spelling gene.  My lovely friend's two children are both spelling champs.)  

The Kindness of Prayer

"Prayer is man's greatest power!"

~ W. Clement Stone

Prayer is an amazing thing.  Studies have shown that patients who are being prayed for do better -- even if they don't know they are being prayed for.  I feel blessed to have friends I call "my prayer warriors."  They are always just a text away, ready to pray.  Recently, I asked them to pray for a family friend.  No questions asked, they prayed.

The Kindness of a Visit

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."

~ Princess Diana

A group of mothers at my son's school went to visit another mother at her home recently.  They brought baked goods and fruit for breakfast.  The mother they visited has younger children and they don't know her very well, but she is sick, and she welcomed the conversation and distraction.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Early Bird

"I think we all do have a guardian angel.  I believe they work through us all the time, when we are thoughtful and good and kind to each other."

~ Roma Downey

My family and I were hosting the coffee hour after church recently.  Late the night before, I realized that I had not arranged for someone to open the door to the parish hall, so that we could arrive early and set up.  When we arrived early Sunday morning, I was pleasantly surprised -- thrilled, actually -- to find that one of the women from church not only had arrived early and opened up, but also had set up the coffee.  I was very appreciative.

Kindness and Next in Line

"When you're busy, avoid taking the quickest action.  Instead make the extra effort to truly serve the customer."

~ Marilyn Suttle

Have you ever been standing in line to pay at a store when another cashier opens up and says "next in line!" and someone behind you makes a bee-line for that register?  As I stood in line to pay at a store recently, I watched as a cashier walked over to the person who truly was next in line, put her hand on the customer's shoulder and asked her if she could take her at the next register.  I was so impressed that I mentioned it to the cashier as I was leaving the store.  She shared that it is their store policy to "invite" the customer to the other register even before they open it up.

The Kindness of Chivalry

"Chivalry isn't dead.  It's just no longer gender-based."

~ Letitia Baldrige

I recently attended an evening event and was happy to find myself seated at the same table as a former colleague and his wife.  At one point, the former colleague and I were on stage for a presentation.  As we were filing off the stage, I only half jokingly told him to go ahead of me as we descended the steps, so that if I fell, I would fall on top of him.  He obliged and then when he reached the bottom, extended his hand to help me down.

A Chapel Filled with Love and Kindness

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

My son recently made a presentation during the service at his school's chapel.  It is called a Senior Sermon and each graduating "senior" (from elementary school) takes a turn preaching on the coming Sunday's Gospel in the same way that a priest or preacher delivers a homily.  My son had prepared, but was naturally a bit nervous.  I was pretty nervous myself.  I think he did a nice job -- a mother's prerogative to think so, after all.  And as I stood there trying to video my son without hitting the wrong button on my phone, I was struck by the incredible love and kindness that I felt.  A dad friend said he would take still photos.  Another mom took back-up video for us.  One of the musicians said she would take video, too.  And I caught the priest taking photos!  The dad friend even told me to stand in front of a column so that I could lean on it and keep the phone steady while I filmed.  I hope that my son felt some of that love and kindness, and that it helped to steady him as he spoke.  It overwhelmed me.

The Kindness of a Doer

"Be a doer and not a critic."

~ Tony Blair

I have a friend who is a real doer.  If he thinks a project is worth doing, he is off and running.  I have worked with him on a community service project for the past two years, and it is always a pleasure, always easy, no drama.  Recently, I asked him if he could help the son of a friend who is looking for an internship.  A couple of hours after I had forwarded the young man's resume to my friend, the young man was receiving emails from people who are interested in offering him a position.

The Kindness – and Power – of a Question

"Be constantly nourished by the Word of God."

~ Pope Francis

In an address a couple of weeks ago, Pope Francis asked what would happen if we treated the  Bible the way we treat our cell phones -- always checking them, going back if we forget them...  It seemed like an interesting question, at the very least.  I also thought it might be a great idea -- except how could it possibly work?  A Bible is a whole lot bigger than our phones.  And then I remembered the Bible app that a dear friend put on my phone a couple of years ago.  I am trying to look at the Bible app a little more often now.  Still not as often as I check texts and emails, but it feels like a step in a good direction.

Kindness on the Street

"Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."

~ Barbara De Angelis

As I drove around on a busy Monday, a small act of kindness by strangers made me smile.  A couple was crossing a busy street in a commercial district.  The man was carrying a dog and the woman a shopping bag, and they dropped the dog's red leash.  Immediately, cars began honking and someone screamed out her car window -- all in an effort to get the couple's attention.  Thankfully, the couple noticed and the woman walked back to get the leash. 

Kindness and a Mentor

"The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him."

~ William Lyon Phelps

Years ago when I first practiced law at a large firm, my boss was an amazing attorney.  He was bright, driven and hard working.  Tall, with a military bearing and a deep voice, he could be intimidating.  But he also had a ready smile and was always incredibly kind to me.  I learned many things from him, ranging from how to write legal documents to how to think about my career.  He has always been a devoted family man and there were many lessons on that front, too.  Over the years, I got to know his family and I am still friendly with one of his daughters.  Fast forward a couple of decades since we worked together.  I ran into him at a lecture recently.  I went up and greeted him, and mentioned that I was with my son.  "Let me go say hi to him," he said and he walked across the auditorium to meet my son.  I was truly touched.  It reminded me of how many lessons I have learned from this gentleman and how I still admire him.

The Kindness of Travel Tips

"Every sunrise is an invitation for us to arise and brighten someone's day."

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

My mother recently began a trip that would take her to India.  One of my favorite teenagers had spent several weeks there a couple of months ago and wanted to give my mother some tips.  No matter that this teenager lives on the other side of the world.  She made a video for me to share with my mother, which I promptly sent on its way.

Kindness from a Stranger

"The true greatness of a person, in my view, is evident in the way he or she treats those with whom courtesy and kindness are not required."

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

I recently attended an event with my son in a large lecture hall.  We arrived early and had good seats in the center of a row close to the stage.  There were various speakers over several hours with two intermissions in between, which we used to move around and enjoy the snacks that were provided.  Seating was general admission and I was not sure whether our seats would be there when we returned, but the woman sitting next to us offered to save our seats during both breaks.

The Kindness of Another Doctor

"Kindness is ever the begetter of kindness."

~ Sophocles

The other day, a mom I know called a doctor to schedule an appointment for one of her children.  Surprisingly, the doctor answered the phone directly and then agreed to see her child the next day -- even though it was her day off.

Kindness and a Lost Journal

"I get by with a little help from my friends."

~ John Lennon and Paul McCartney

My son, who is in elementary school, recently lost his writing journal at school.  After looking for the journal for a few days, he thought he might never find it.  Knowing that my son was upset at having lost his writing, the teacher asked if one of the other students would help him look for it.  And then a very nice thing happened.  A group of his friends decided they would help.  And with so many eyes and hands searching, they found it.

Kindness and the Doctor

"Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way... It's like medicine, very healing."

~ Max Irons

A friend of mine who is a doctor did an extraordinarily kind thing recently (I am sure he does many).  My friend who lives on the other side of the world texted me to say that her husband was in the hospital and the doctors there wanted to do a procedure, but she was very nervous and wanted to talk to her husband's doctor here.  Although it was late evening and he was home with his family, the doctor friend spoke to my friend.  She felt enormously relieved and is forever grateful.

Kindness and an Errand

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

My mother was getting ready for an overseas trip recently.  She remarked to someone in the building in which she lives that she needed to buy an electrical adapter.  A gentleman who also lives in the building overheard her and said that he would be heading out the next day on several errands and would be happy to get her one.  She thanked him and said that she would accept his help only if he let her pay for it.  Predictably, the response was absolutely not.

The Kindness of a Warm Welcome

"There is no hospitality like understanding."

~ Vanna Bonta

A mom I know attends a Bible study class on Sunday mornings.  It seems that no matter how hard she tries, she is nearly always late.  Admittedly, there are a couple of children in the get-ready mix.  The others in the Bible study group are older women, children grown.  Although this mom dashes in a few minutes late, these women are always welcoming.  "So glad you're here," the group leader says, "We're just getting started."  After she catches her breath, this mom loses herself in the conversation and prayer, grateful for these women and their understanding.

The Kindness of Persistence

"The art of love is largely the art of persistence."

~ Albert Ellis

I have a mom friend who I rarely see these days.  Our children were in the same grade for years, and we worked very closely on school and church activities.  But our children have gone on to other schools and well, life gets complicated.  We talk or text from time to time, and keep saying that we have to have lunch.  Yet months go by.  The other day, she called me.  "I figured we weren't going to have lunch, so I called," she said.  We had a nice chat -- and we also set a date for lunch.

Kindness, Thoughtfulness and Lent

"You feel alive to the degree that you feel you can help others."

~ John Travolta

Several former colleagues and I were planning a lunch recently.  The date we had chosen was a Friday.  We had decided on a restaurant when one member of the group reminded us that it was Lent and wondered if  we should choose a different restaurant so as to be able to comply with the no-meat rule.  The interesting thing is that the former colleague who raised the issue is not Christian and does not observe Lent.  He is just incredibly thoughtful. 

The Kindness of Showing Someone the Way

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

~ Mahatma Gandhi

One of my dearest friends recently shared a beautiful story.  Her husband and she traveled to Florida for a visit.  Because they rented a small car, her husband put my friend and their luggage in a taxi and then planned to drive the rental car to where they were staying.  My friend arrived at the apartment, but no sign of her husband.  He showed up a while later and shared that he had come across a woman and her daughter at the airport who were trying to get to the west coast of the state.  They said they did not have enough money to fly, so my friend's husband suggested a bus.  And then drove them to the bus station.

The Kindness of Spring Christmas Gifts

"Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give. it's Christmas."

~ Dale Evans

My children recently received Christmas gifts in March from dear friends of ours.  The children were thrilled to open envelopes with generous presents inside.  And to my surprise, the bag of goodies our friends gave me included cookies from Hawaii, which I had tasted ages ago and been pining for ever since.  I'll take Christmas in the spring any day.

Kindness and a Suggestion

"The best portion of a good man's life in his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."

~ William Wordsworth

A woman I know was walking on the treadmill at the gym in her condo building.  An older gentleman who also was working out asked her if she ever walked outside.  He then told her about two paths at a nearby park that she might want to consider trying.  He shared that one path went along the water and another was in the shade.  

Kindness and Souvenirs

"No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."

~ Aesop

When I think of the word souvenir, I am reminded of the French expression, Je me souviens, which means, I remember.  When someone brings you a souvenir from a trip, it means that they were thinking of you and that thoughtfulness is as special as the gift itself.  My mother always brings me something when she travels, even when it's a short trip, even when she visits a place where I have lived.  After arriving from her most recent trip on a late evening flight, my mother showed up a my house with gifts for all of us.  Mine was very special -- it was a glass paperweight with the Aesop quote on kindness.

Kindness and our Village

"True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others."

~ Alek Wek

I have two terrific mom friends who are part of my immediate village.  Our families live within a few minutes of each other.  On a recent Sunday evening, one of them texted the other mom and me.  She said that she was at the supermarket and wanted to know if we needed anything.  We both thanked her, but said no.  Then she asked if we needed anything from the drugstore.  

Kindness and Conversation

"People crave comfort, people crave connection, people crave community."

~ Marianne Williamson

My mother recently took a trip up north.  Given the weather, I asked her if the flight had been bumpy.  Yes, she said, but she was grateful that she had sat next to a very pleasant woman with whom she spent the time talking.  It turns out that this woman, in her 50s, had just lost her mother.  She told my mother that she felt blessed because both on the way to her mother's funeral and on the way back, she had sat next to very nice people, who made her difficult journey easier.  There is kindness and connection in conversation, which is sometimes just what we need.

The Never-Ending Kindness of Mom Friends

"Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest.  It's about who walked into your life, said 'I'm here for you' and proved it."

~ Unknown

On a recent Friday, I woke up just after 3 am to catch a flight back home after a business meeting.  I was delighted to be back home, but by the end of the day, I was pretty tired.  My children had been invited to a friend's house for the evening.  Knowing that I had been traveling, one of my dearest mom friends called and asked if I wanted her to pick up my children and take them to the gathering.  I love my mom friends.

A Teenager’s Kindness

“I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example, and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world.”

~ Misha Collins

A 5^th grader I know recently received news that he was accepted into a very hard-to-get-into school for the upcoming academic year.  Many of his friends and his parents’ friends called or texted him to congratulate him, which his mother found incredibly thoughtful.  Among the well wishes was a call from a senior at the school to which the 5^th grader was admitted.  The senior wanted to congratulate the younger student on his acceptance.  The 5^th grader’s mother was so touched that she texted the older student’s mother to tell her what a thoughtful thing her son had done.  The other mother shared that it was her son’s birthday.  When the 5^th grader’s mother texted the senior to wish him a Happy Birthday, he replied that he had received his admissions decision seven years before on his birthday and that it was the best birthday present he had received.  And on his birthday, this high school senior reached out in a thoughtful way to the younger boy.

Kindness and Roses

“Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.”

~ Charles M. Schwab

On a recent afternoon, a friend and I were walking through a hotel lobby and we stopped to watch a large floral arrangement being assembled.  This hotel lobby always has a beautiful arrangement of roses in a center table, but I had never seen it changed.  The gentleman from the florist who was putting together the arrangement stopped what he was doing to talk with us.  He told us how many roses are in the gigantic arrangement – always 498, which is the number of rooms in the hotel.  He also showed us how to remove the outside petals of the roses to help the flowers open up.  And then he asked if we wanted a rose.