Year-End Reflections on Kindness

"The practice of kindness is the daily, friendly, homely caring form of love.  It is both humble ― a schoolboy bringing his teacher a bouquet of dandelions ― and exalted ― a fireman giving his life to save someone else's.  Kindness is love with hands and hearts and minds.  It is both whimsical ―  causing our faces to crack into a smile ― and deeply touching ― causing our eyes to shimmer with tears.  And its miraculous nature is such that the more acts of kindness we offer, the more of them we have to give, for acts of kindness are always drawn from the endless well of love."
―Dawna Markova

As I look back on 2013 from the kindness perspective, there are a couple of things that stand out.  One is that kindness LASTS.  Many times, it is remembered long after it is over.

On Christmas Day, I ran into a former secretary who worked with me more than two decades ago when I practiced law at a large, international firm.  I had not seen her in years and it was great for the two of us to see each other and to remember, even briefly, the many hours that we had spent together -- we worked hard and there was a lot of stress, but we laughed a lot, too.  One of the reasons that I enjoyed working with her was that in addition to being very smart, very funny and a hard worker, she was fiercely loyal.  On a December 19th more than 20 years ago, I was taken a well-earned and scheduled-in-advance day off to do Christmas shopping as I worked most every day, including weekends.  As I was on my way to the stores, my then secretary called me and said that even though it was my day off, some attorneys were looking for me to sign a document.  She said that she knew that I would be in casual clothes and would not want to walk into the office, but that if I drove by the office building, she would run down with the document so that I could sign it.  And that is what we did.  Her thoughtfulness and kindness have stayed with me all these years.

In addition to the amazingly long-lasting quality of kindness, it can be relatively simple and the opportunities to be kind abound.  Every day.

I am grateful for this journey in kindness and all the lessons that it continues to teach me.

Happy New Year!  Wishing you much kindness in 2014. 

The Kindness of Perspective

"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way."
― Allen Klein

Someone I know was feeling a little overwhelmed.  Nothing serious, just days of moving.  In the midst of it, she ran into a housekeeper who works in her community.  The housekeeper asked her how it was going.  Although the woman was having her moments, she was trying to keep things in perspective, so she told the housekeeper that it was fine and that she was making progress little by little.  The housekeeper then shared that her husband had recently died while they were on a trip to her home country for the third-month anniversary of her sister's passing.  The housekeeper began crying and the woman I know hugged her.  As the woman walked away, she thought of how the housekeeper's sharing what was happening in her own life gave the woman perspective on her own.  There is so much kindness when we connect with each other -- sometimes we find support in reaching out, sometimes we find perspective.

Kindness... Out of the Mouth of Babes

"To give without any reward, or any notice, has a special quality of its own."
―Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have been working on a family home improvement project for a while.  More than a year, actually.  The other day, one of my children very unexpectedly said, "Thanks for all the work you put into making this happen."  I felt my heart soar.  What a kindness to receive appreciation from one's children. 

Kindness After the Christmas Rush

"Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy."
―Ralph Waldo Emerson

At a store today, I stood in a long checkout line.  One of the cashiers, who seemed relatively new, was trying to figure out the price of an item for a customer.  The cashier asked the employee working next to her what she should do; the second woman told her to go and find another one of the same item.  Apologetically, the cashier asked the customer if she would mind waiting while she ran to find another one of the item.  "Not at all," the customer said.  "I am not in a rush."  Relieved and appreciative, the cashier went off to get the price.

Kindness at the "City Morgue"

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
― Mother Teresa

I called my favorite wine shop on Christmas Eve to find out until what time it would be open.  "City Morgue," the owner answered.  I laughed for a few seconds before I could even speak.  "How did you know it was me?" I asked.  "I actually thought it was your brother," the owner replied.

While it would make sense for the owner of the wine shop to know my brother, there is no reason for him to know me.  A teetotaler, I am not exactly his best customer.  However, I do visit several times a year to buy gifts.  And, as I was reminded this week, I love going there even though it is more than 10 miles from where I live and there are obviously closer options. 

For someone who does not know a thing about wine, where I buy it matters.  At the "City Morgue," the owner is always very friendly with a great sense of humor.  And his kindness wins me over every time.  He always listens carefully to what I tell him I need and never tries to sell me more than would make sense.  So I feel taken care of and never ripped off.  And though he knows that I don't know a thing about wine, he always tells me a little about what I am buying.  Invariably, my gifts of wine are always a big hit with the recipients.

I read yesterday that despite the increasing popularity of on-line shopping, we still buy more than 90 percent of everything in person.  I wonder if vendors have a sense of how much kindness figures into customer loyalty.

A Chain of Kindness at Starbucks

"A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love."
― Molly Friedenfeld

More than 700 customers have "paid it forward" at a Connecticut Starbucks since Christmas Eve.  On Tuesday morning, one customer paid for the next person in line and the trend continued until the store closed that night.  Customers have kept it up.  As of 5 pm today, more than 720 customers have paid for the customer behind them in the drive-thru line.  A small act of kindness can impact many -- and make news.

Kindness at Christmas

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
― Clement Clarke Moore, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

My son left a note for Santa last night on the kitchen table along with milk and cookies.  Among other things, my son asked Santa to e-mail him.  This morning, there was a lovely e-mail from Santa in my son's In Box.

"One of the best gifts you can give someone is love," Santa wrote.  "Did you know that?  If you have a brother or sister, an Uncle or Aunt, a Mom or Dad, remember to tell people that are important to you that you love them.  I know how much of a nice present it is because I have many children that write to me tell me that they love me.  That is the best present Santa can have."

Love and kindness are important to Santa, and to us all.  Let us honor Christmas by showing a little more love and a little more kindness.  May your hearts be filled with joy and peace.

The Kindness of Making Pretty Things Happen

"Isn't it pretty to think so?"
― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

The Hemingway quote is the last line of The Sun Also Rises.  It has stayed with me since I first read it decades ago because I think it captures how we look at things that might have been.  Sometimes, there are things that we wish or think about, but they are truly only "pretty to think so."  I was thinking about the line today and how it relates to a friend of mine who has an amazing ability to make pretty things happen.

My friend thinks of all kinds of wonderful things to do -- frequently memories to make with our children -- and then she makes whatever it is happen.  Thanks to her, her family has all kinds of great adventures.  And thanks to her kindness, my family has been able to share in the pretty things that she makes happen. 

As with a possible romance between Hemingway's characters Jake Barnes and Lady Brett Ashley, there are some ideas that are only pretty to think so.  But there are many other pretty things that someone's thoughtfulness, planning and determination make happen.

Kindness Despite the Frenzy of the Season

"Gentleness towards self and others makes life a little lighter."
―Deborah Day

Although the world seemed to be in quite a frenzy today, there were a few moments of thoughtfulness and generosity when I felt kindness shine through the madness.  There was the man who let me into his lane when no one else would.  There was the manicurist who did not give me a hard time when I was a few minutes late on a very busy day.  And there was the good friend who welcomed me into her home, so that I could purchase a couple of bracelets from her even though it was dinner time and her family was sitting at the table.  When I was done selecting the gifts I needed, she told me to pick one for me as her present and then gave me a big hug that was just what I needed at the end of a crazy day.

The Kindness of Showing Up

"If you manage to make it to some semblance of adulthood, just showing up turns out to be one of the kindest, most selfless things you can do for someone."
―Tim Kreider

At a children's orchestra performance this afternoon, I sat in front of the father of a mother I know.  He brought to the performance his 91-year-old mother-in-law and her younger sister, age 90.  I had seen this same trio at another event last week.  Both times, they came to watch this mother's daughter play the violin.  They arrived early and were at ease talking with those around them as we all waited for the performance to begin.  I marveled at how happy they seemed to be there.  They clearly enjoyed watching their granddaughter/great-granddaughter perform.  But they were also there for her mother, who I have no doubt felt supported by the kindness of her own marvelous trio.

Kindness and Mani-Pedis

"The heart grows with each act of kindness."
―Rita Said

For many women, getting a manicure-pedicure is a treat.  (For some, of course, it is a must.)  Two friends, both eager to work in mani-pedis before Christmas Eve next Tuesday, were not having much luck scheduling theirs.  One of the friends had been calling her regular salon for a couple of weeks, but could never get an appointment that worked for her.  Earlier today, the second friend called the first to ask if she remembered the name of a salon the two had once tried.  In the middle of some last-minute shopping, the first friend said that she didn't, but that she would look in her purse for the salon's card.  The first friend looked for the card, but didn't find it, so (without telling her friend) she drove by the salon to get the name and the number.  Parked outside the salon, she called her friend to give her the information.  The second friend was on her way to an event with her family, so the first friend offered to make the appointment.  In making the appointment, the first friend learned that this salon would be open on Monday, so she called her regular salon to ask if by any chance it would be open on Monday.  Yes came the reply and they had a spot, so she finally made an appointment to get her nails done.  A few minutes later as the first friend was looking through her purse, she found the card from the salon.  She smiled...  Had she found the card when she had first looked, she would have texted her friend the name and telephone of the salon and that would have been that.  But because she drove by the salon and offered to make the appointment for her friend, she found out about salons' being open on Monday and she was able to finally get the coveted mani-pedi appointment.  Ah, kindness leads to a double mission accomplished.

Celebrating Kindness and Blessings

"Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another."

― George Eliot

For the past couple of days, I have known what I would write about today.  My son was receiving the Peacemaker Award at his school for the virtue of Kindness!  He received the award this morning and the citation included recognition for his random acts of kindness in the classroom.  Needless to say, not only was I very proud of him, but also I felt that every so often what we as parents emphasize might just sink in.

And then life happens...  While I was in the school's church watching my son receive his award, my daughter's school was calling because she had fallen in the playground and received a gash on her chin, which the school nurse felt needed medical attention.  I get very nervous with these things, but angels appeared...  I ran into one as I was leaving the school and asked her advice on pediatrician vs hospital or urgent care center.  As I drove to the school in a bit of panic, another mom friend calmed me down and helped me figure out what I was going to do next as there was quite a bit of juggling to be done.  On the staff of a local hospital, my brother was a tremendous source of support, spoke to the school nurse and then called ahead to the urgent care center, so that they saw us as soon as we arrived.  Thank goodness, they literally glued my daughter together and we were soon on our way to a small outing we had had planned.

Later today, I came home to find a lovely card in the mail from a dear friend and my favorite cake dropped off by another special friend.  Despite the madness, I feel an abundance of kindness and I feel blessed.

Kindness at Birthday Time

"A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present."
― Thomas Fuller

I enjoy birthdays tremendously and I love all the wonderful things that my friends and family do to make the day special for me.  But I love even more what friends and family members do for my children's birthdays.

One of my children had a big birthday today and I was very touched by the efforts that people made --during the busiest time of the year -- to make sure that her birthday was not lost amid the Christmas rush.  My mother got her a special present and came to see her before she left for school.  Friends from out of town sent a gift early.  Her best friend arrived at school before my daughter to decorate her locker.  (Of course, she arrived early thanks to her mother, who is not a morning person.)  And her godmother drove quite a distance with her daughter who is in the middle of high school mid-terms to see her on the birthday.  An outpouring of love, attention and kindness.  Who could ask for more?

Kindness and the Magical Moments of Christmas

"My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others.  Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"
― Bob Hope

I love Christmas.  I was wondering why the other day...  I thought it might be the nostalgia for the seemingly magical memories of childhood.  But this morning, I was reminded of the present moments that make Christmas very special to me year after year.  There are moments of kindness that I tie to the season.

This morning, I was at a market that I frequent talking with one of the employees who was making up a basket for me.  Another employee, an older woman, came by to say good morning and have a chat before beginning her day.  The older employee pretended to whisper as she told me how talented the employee who works in floral is.  When the visiting employee left, the one who was working on my basket said: "She has a good heart, that one.  Always thinking of everyone else."

Later in the day, one of my daughters shared how appreciative her English teacher was for his Christmas gift.  He apparently made a big deal about her having given him a present.  (The gift was nothing major -- it was a pound cake.)  My daughter told me the story twice.  And I thought how amazing the impact that a kindness can have -- especially from an adult, especially from a teacher...

Thankfully, there are moments of kindness all year long.  But there is something special about the ones at Christmastime.  Maybe the season just gives us the inspiration to be a slightly better version of ourselves.  Whatever the reason, I delight in the magical moments of Christmas.

The Kindness of the Gift of Time

"Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness."
― Richard Bach

With a week left to go before Christmas, we are most definitely in the home stretch and the hustle-bustle is everywhere.  I don't know anyone who is feeling calm...  Most of the stress comes from not having enough time, from feeling that there is so much to do.

So what an amazing gift to receive time!  Today, as I ran around juggling work, the unplanned car repair, a mothers' breakfast, a classroom craft and "stuff to do," one of my wonderful Village People called to tell me that she would pick up my children and have them spend time with hers, so that I could get more done.  The gift of time -- what a lovely kindness during this last week before Christmas.  I may not be feeling calm, but I am most definitely feeling blessed.

Kindness from Vendors

"Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others."
― Booker T. Washington

I had to take my car into the shop today and it reminded me why I drive the type of car I do.  It's mostly because of the terrific service I receive in the dealership's service department, to which I have been going for nearly 15 years.  As strange as it sounds, I actually enjoy going to this place.  When I think about why I feel that way, it's because I am treated with kindness.  I am always greeted with friendliness by my service advisor, who has the great habit of promptly returning phone calls.  He is helpful and kind, and each time I see him, I end up learning something about cars that I didn't know before.  He is extraordinarily patient.  In fact, the other day I said to him, "You know who you are dealing with," after he carefully explained to me why I did not have to panic if a certain light came on in the car.  He also will arrange a ride for me if I need to go somewhere.  Whenever the service manager sees me, she comes out of her office to see what I am doing there and how she can help. 

We all deal with a number of vendors and it is amazing to me how experiences can vary.  As far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with industry or money spent.  Just last week, I visited an office that I frequent and it was -- and is generally -- an unpleasant experience.  I am not sure why it is easier to accomplish what you need with certain vendors and not others.  I think some people understand that being kind is just a more pleasant way to be.

The Kindness To Be Who We Are

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity.  We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion."
―Max de Pree

Recently, I was speaking to someone whose life and marriage I greatly admire.  This young man has managed to create a life for himself that reflects his values, that includes working hard, but also allows for enjoyment.  He shared that part of it is that his wife allows him to be who he really is.  A very intelligent and hard working guy who can appear serious, he describes himself as having a "silly" side, which his wife seems to enjoy, too.  So often, we seem to have trouble letting others be who they are.  There is kindness in giving each other space and acceptance to be who we truly are.

Leaving Behind the Kindness of Lifting Us Up

"Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing.  My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire."
―Jarod Kintz

Today I went to the funeral Mass for the grandfather of a dear friend.  He was eulogized by two gentlemen, who both spoke of the grandfather's laughter.  Indeed, whenever I think of my friend's grandfather, it is impossible to think of him not smiling and laughing.

I left the church thinking how lovely to be remembered for one' s laugh -- because to be remembered that way is about so much more than laughter.  Laughter is rarely a solitary activity (although I have laughed by myself many times).  When we share laughter, we bring joy to others, we lift them up.

One of the men who spoke at the funeral said this of the grandfather:  "He thought we could be better than we are.  And in thinking so, he made many of us believe it, too."

My friend's grandfather lives on in the laughter he left behind, in the way he lifted up others.

The Kindness of a Sincere Apology

"A sincere apology is analogous to authentic repentance."
―R. Alan Woods

I am not a confrontational person.  In fact, I am definitely conflict-averse.  But recently, I shared with someone I know professionally that I wished he had handled a situation differently.  I was so surprised when he apologized profusely and shared that he wished he did not do what I found problematic.  There was no defensiveness on his part, not even initially.  And he explained to me what had happened, but assured me that it was not an excuse.  He asked me if I forgave him.  How could I not?  In his apology, I found incredible kindness.

Kindness Begets Kindness

Kindness begets kindness evermore.
―Sophocles

We have a neighbor whom one might describe as grumpy on a good day.  But 'tis the season, so we are trying to be friendly to her.  This morning, my son and I greeted her with our cheeriest "Good morning!"  She must be feeling the spirit, too, because she told my son that she liked his backpack.

As we walked to the car afterward, my son said, "She's not that bad."

"Very few people are," I said and then asked him, "What do you think happens when you treat people with kindness?"

"They treat you with kindness?" he responded.

Before I could answer, he said, "This is the part where you say, 'exactly.'"

Exactly.

The Kindness of Empathy

"The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy."
―Meryl Streep

Alabama's Cade Foster had a bad game against Auburn a couple of weeks ago.  (In case you missed it: The senior kicker for Alabama missed two field goals and had another one blocked in the 34-28 loss to Auburn on November 30th.) But if you are feeling badly, one of the few comforting things is to hear that others have faced rough times and made it through. 

A couple of days after the game, former President George W. Bush sent Foster a note:

Dear Cade (#43),

Life has its setbacks.  I know!

However, you will be a stronger human with time.

I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

another 43 George Bush

A very kind gesture.

Making Room for Kindness

"Christmas is not just a time for festivity and merry making.  It is more than that.  It is a time for the contemplation of eternal things.  The Christmas spirit is a spirit of giving and receiving."
― J.C. Penney

The season being what it is, I began the day with one school's Christmas play and finished with an Advent Prayer Service for another.

The theme of the morning show was Kindness as the virtue for December and the Christmas season.  At the evening performance, the school headmistress made remarks about the evening and the season.  She asked how would the pause that the performance forced us to make translate into a change in how we continue as we return to the season's busyness?

And it all made me wonder:  Once the cards are sent and the presents bought, what really remains to be done for Christmas?  How can we make room in our hearts for kindness?

Kindness and Christmas Ties

"I don't think Christmas is necessarily about things.  It's about being good to one another, it's about the Christian ethic, it's about kindness."
― Carrie Fisher

Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of year...  I love sending out my Christmas cards and I like shopping for presents.  I try to begin both things early -- never early enough, of course.  But one of the Christmas tasks that frequently presents a challenge is Christmas outfits for school performances.

This year's challenge was finding a Christmas bow tie for my son.  By the time I realized that it was a very hard item to find locally, there was no time to order it on-line.  In my search, I asked other mothers where they had found theirs.  Two of the mothers had acted quickly after receiving the teacher's e-mail and ordered the bow ties on-line.  Both mothers ended up with an extra and offered to let me have it.  When I sent my own mother an S.O.S. text about the bow tie, she immediately went into commando-shopping mode.  (She is adept at operating quickly in urgent shopping situations.)

Thanks to the kindness and generosity of mothers, including my own, my son is all set for his Christmas show.  Amid the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it feels good to experience the kindness of others.

Remembering Kindness in Small Ways

"Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back."
―Plato

A mother I know ran into a young man who had been very kind to her son when he was little.  She wasn't sure that the young man would remember her son, but she greatly appreciated his kindness toward him.  Ahead of the young man in line at a sandwich shop, the mother paid for his sandwich without his knowing it.  As she was leaving, she said hi to the young man; he asked about her son by name.  "He still talks about you," the mother told the young man and left.  A few minutes later, the young man came out of the sandwich shop to thank her.  The mother was happy to have extended even a very small kindness to someone who had been so kind to her son.

The Kindness of Good Company

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."
―Epictetus

Earlier this week in yoga class, the teacher talked about the benefits of good company.  After yoga, a wonderful friend picked me up (my car was in the shop) and we were off on a project adventure.  It didn't really matter where we were going.  I hopped in the car knowing that it would be enjoyable.  It reminded me of times with a particular childhood friend.  For as long as I can remember (which is longer than she would like me to remember), whenever I get in her car, it is off to an adventure.  And that is the most special thing about being in good company -- the mutual kindness that makes being in good company an uplifting place to be.

Kindness, Glitter and Moments of Connection

"Poverty is clearly one source of emotional suffering, but there are others, like loneliness.  A policy to reduce the loneliness of the elderly would certainly reduce suffering."
―Daniel Kahneman

As part of its community service, my daughters' school takes the students to various nursing homes and senior centers.  Today, I served as a chaperone for a holiday visit to a nursing home. 

Neither the teachers nor the two mothers who chaperoned had been on this type of visit, so we didn't know what to expect.  When we arrived, the girls set up different stations to entertain the nursing home residents.  A couple of girls painted the residents' nails.  Others made them bracelets.  And others wrote the residents' names in glue on colored paper and then sprinkled the names with glitter.

As I watched the girls and the adults interact with the seniors, I saw different levels of comfort.  A bit outside my own comfort zone, I wasn't sure what to do with myself.  Ever the food fan, I offered several of the residents cookies or cupcakes -- although their wishes had to be cleared with the staff because of their individual diets.  After serving a cupcake to one resident, I found myself looking for wipies because she had sticky hands.

Eventually, I ended up talking to a lovely 83-year old woman.  She shared stories about her life, her loves, her jobs, her grown son...  We then walked over to the table where the girls had been making the glitter names for the residents.  My new friend remarked how beautiful the glitter creations were and so I asked her if she wanted me to make her one.  Yes, she replied.  We sat down together at the table.  I wrote her name in glue, sprinkled glitter over it and decorated the paper with a Christmas tree and glue swirls that I covered in more glitter.  She was so happy and generously praised my creation.  As she took the paper from my hands carefully in hers, I felt profound kindness in her appreciation.  I was so moved by our connection and by the joy that we both seemed to find in it.

I found myself feeling a little sad when it was time to go.  I felt as though I could have talked to my new friend for a while more.

* * *

Since last year, a very generous friend of mine has been trying to get me to go with our children to play music at a nursing home.  I thought it was a nice idea, but I had not made it happen.  I called her after the visit today to tell her that I really wanted to do it.  She told me that she has always had a soft spot in her heart for the elderly and she remarked how similar they are to children.  Perhaps they are like children not only in terms of their needs, but also in terms of being able to appreciate and find joy in the simplest things, including their names in glitter and moments of connection.

The Kindness of A Special Treat

"Treat your friends as you do your best pictures, and place them in their best light."
―Jennie Churchill

I have a friend who is the Queen of the Special Treat.  Somehow she knows how a special treat can brighten someone's day.  Just a little thoughtfulness that lets someone else know that you have been thinking about her and that she is important to you.  Last year, this friend introduced me to the wonderful world of all things pumpkin with a delicious chocolate chip pumpkin bread that she gave me.  This year, the pumpkin fest continued.  And then pumpkin season turned into Christmas.  Yesterday, my children tasted Candy Cane Oreos, which became an immediate hit -- no surprise.  However, I had trouble finding them, despite calls and visits to several stores.  Well, my friend managed to find a store that sells them, drove out of her way to get them and gave my family a pack of the coveted treats today. 

As Christmas comes faster than we are ready for, it's nice to remember the joy that the simple and lovely kindness of a special treat can bring.   

The Kindness of Letting Someone Vent

"When people talk, listen completely.  Most people never listen."
― Ernest Hemingway

Sometimes we just have to vent.  And if we are blessed with a friend who can listen -- without judgment, without having to insert herself in the problem, without showing us the solution, that can be an incredible gift.

Too often people want to tell us what they would do in our shoes or want to show us how they would solve a problem, but generally that is not what most of us are looking for when we just need to vent. 

There is incredible kindness in simply listening.  Because when you let someone vent, you may just be giving them the space they need to clear the mental clutter and get clarity.

The Kindness of My Good Angel

"Angels are like diamonds.  They can't be made, you have to find them.  Each one is unique."
― Jaclyn Smith

A couple of years ago, I held a volunteer position at my children's school.  It required quite a bit of organization and attention to detail, and it was hard to be on top of everything.  Enter my Good Angel.  The woman who held the post before me was the most amazing former office holder I have ever seen.  She not only met with me to share her files and advice, but also -- and most incredibly -- for the two years that I held this volunteer position, she regularly reminded me of things.  Her advice and gentle reminders came nonintrusively through texts and e-mails.  (I used to tell her that if former presidents of countries supported their successors the way that she did, we would have terrific continuation of leadership and fewer problems.)  When I ended my commitment, I was sorry to lose the constant interaction with her.

I was reminded of my Good Angel today because she texted to let me know that someone we knew had had a minor health problem.  Her kindness makes me feel as though I have a Good Angel on my shoulder, always helping me to be a better version of myself.

The Kindness of Acceptance

"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."
―Michael J. Fox

Today I had to call a friend whom I didn't want to call.  I needed to tell her that I could not join her on a journey that both of us were hoping we might do together.  I was going to put off the call for another day, but I mustered my courage and picked up the telephone.  While I should not have been surprised, I was relieved to hear genuine acceptance on her part.  She did not try to convince me that I might be able to do it.  She said it was fine -- and truly meant it.  And she believed my promise to be there for her, to help her in any way that I could.  This friend of mine has incredible faith that things work out as they should.  I am always encouraged by her example and I was especially glad to find her kindness on the other end of the telephone today.

Kindness in the News

"The most truly generous persons are those who give silently without hope of praise or reward."
― Carol Ryrie Brink

There was a lovely story in the news yesterday about a man in Houston who  paid anonymously for 10 people's groceries.  He told the employees at the store that he wanted to pay for the groceries of the next 10 people in line as an act of kindness.  He paid in cash, so no one knew his name.  The recipients of his kindness were stunned and one woman initially had a hard time accepting it because she felt she already had so much.

"So it made me realize that probably the message that he is trying to give is that it doesn't need to be somebody who has financial need," she said.  "We all just need to stop and take a breath and be kind to everybody, not just at Thanksgiving, but every day."

I was thrilled to see kindness in the news!