Happy New Year!

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

As we look back on another year, I have no doubt that some of our most treasured moments are those that involved kindness.  I wish you a new year filled with health and joy, peace and kindness.  And lots of love.

Kindness and a Purse

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~ Mary Lambert

One of my friends texted me recently and included a photo of a beautiful new black purse.  She asked me if I wanted it.  She does this from time to time.  She has handbags that she has never used and she will ask me if I want them.  Yes, I said, to this latest gift.  And so it arrived a couple of days later.  Her thoughtfulness made me smile as I know it will again every time I wear my new purse.

Kindness and Christmas Tea

“Tea time is a chance to slow down, pull back and appreciate our surroundings.”

~ Letitia Baldrige

A woman I know has been taking her mother and her children to afternoon tea during Christmas week for the past several years.  When the woman called to make the reservation, she was asked if they were celebrating a special occasion.  “Just Christmas and my mother,” she answered.  At the end of their tea, the waiter brought out a beautiful dessert to celebrate.  And then he gave the woman several extra bags of tea “for tomorrow morning.”

Kindness and a Good Man Remembered

“The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.”

~ William Wordsworth

This is definitely the time of year for memories and nostalgia, but I was surprised at the kindness I recently remembered.  I was backing up into my parking space and, as always, trying to make sure I did not hit the wall of my parking space.  I guess it was the time of year as well as what I was doing that made me remember a kindness that my stepfather had done for my mother many years ago.  They lived in a house with a small garage and, each evening as she came home from work, my mother would carefully ease her car into the garage.  She needed to get the car in far enough that the garage door would close, but not so far in that she would hit the washer and dryer that were right in front of the car.  Each night, my stepfather would stand at the garage door and guide her in.  He finally came up with an ingenious solution.  He hung a tennis ball on a string to the ceiling of the garage.  He measured it, so that it would fall exactly where my mother’s windshield should line up, so that her car both fit in the garage and missed banging into the washer and dryer.  A small kindness, but very typical of my stepfather, a gentle and kind man we all loved, who died nearly 16 years ago.  I know that he would be surprised that I still remember the hanging tennis ball.  But sometimes – in fact, so many times, it’s those small kindnesses that make life easier for others.  And we remember.

Sibling Kindness at Christmas

“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”

~ Charles M. Schulz

A mom friend recently shared a story about kindness and her children that warmed her heart.  On Christmas morning, my friend’s son, the younger of her two children, noticed that he had three of a certain gift and his older sister, a teenager, had only one.  He told his mother that he would give his sister one of his presents, so that they would each have two of that particular toy.

Kindness the Day After…

“Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

~ Dale Evans

Through a not-fully awake haze the day after Christmas, I heard noise in our living room.  Not loud noise, more like scampering about.  Imagine my surprise -- and delight -- when I found a little elf, plastic bag in hand, picking up the post-Christmas mess.  It felt like Christmas morning!

Kindness and Christmas

“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting.  It is happiness because we see joy in people.  It is forgetting self and finding time for others.  It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values.”

~ Thomas S. Monson

As much as we try not to, sometimes Christmas becomes about the gifts – or at least too much of our time is taken up with thinking about, stressing about and buying presents.  But every so often, I come across people who seem to get beyond that.  At a recent Christmas tea, I sat next to a woman who stopped buying gifts several years ago.  She spends her Christmas in different ways with people she loves and doing things she thinks are meaningful.  Our hostess at the Christmas tea values time spent with those she loves, so she planned on a midday get together just to be with the people who are important to her.  Spending time with those we love – sharing the love – may just be one of the best ways to commemorate what Christmas is all about.

The Kindness of a Christmas Blessing

“May the joy of the angels,

the eagerness of the shepherds,

the perseverance of the wise men,

the obedience of Jesus and Mary,

and the peace of the  Christ-child

be yours this Christmas and forevermore…”

I heard this beautiful blessing at a Christmas service and thought I would share it.

Merry Christmas!

The Kindness of a Grandfather

“More and more, when I single out the person who inspired me most, I go back to my grandfather.”

~ James Earl Jones

Yesterday was my grandfather’s birthday – he would have been 97, but we lost him too many years ago when he was in his early 60s.  December 22^nd always seemed to begin Christmas for us when we were growing up.  Years later when I was in college, I knew I always wanted to be home by then.  One year when my siblings and I were children, my grandfather let us put our fingers in his cake.  My mother was appalled, but we loved it and my grandfather laughed.  My grandfather had a wonderful sense of humor – a dash on the mischievous side.  He reminded me of Ricky Ricardo and my grandmother was a Cuban version of Lucy.  My grandfather played a huge role in our lives.  A doctor, he had Thursday afternoons off, so he would pick us up at school and take us to the convenience store for Icees and candy.  I still remember holding his hand as we walked through a parking lot.  I knew he adored me as he did my brother and sister.  So many kindnesses, so many years ago.  They are always with me.

The Kindness of Detective Work

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

A friend of mine recently found an iPhone on the sidewalk close to a restaurant at which he had just eaten dinner.  He picked it up with the hope of returning it to the owner.  First, he tried replying to a text that the phone’s owner received, but that did not yield any results.  Then, he saw a meeting notice on the phone with the name of a company.  With that information and the photo on the phone’s lock screen, my friend did a bit of detective work on the Internet and found the owner’s name.  The owner was very grateful to have his phone back.

Kindness and Thoughtful Teens

“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.”

~ Aristotle

There are few things that I appreciate more than kindnesses toward my children.  One of my children celebrated a birthday recently.  Fortunately, she did not have to be at school as early as usual as there was a different mid-term schedule.  I let the birthday girl sleep a little longer and took my other child at the regular time.  As I was leaving the school, I noticed a girl in a car headed toward the school.  She had a beautiful birthday balloon with her.  And then I realized that it was one of my daughter’s friends who was taking the balloon for her birthday.  A couple of blocks later, I ran into two of my daughter’s friends.  They were headed to a nearby Starbuck’s and one of them asked me what my daughter liked from the coffee shop.  Thoughtful teens are a treasure.

The Kindness of a Birthday Gift

“A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present.”

~ Thomas Fuller

One of my children had a birthday recently.  And one of my dearest mom friends gave me a gift.  She said mothers deserve to be celebrated on their children’s birthdays, too.  

Kindness and Peace

“Did I offer peace today?  Did I bring a smile to someone’s face?  Did I say words of healing?  Did I let go of my anger and resentment?  Did I forgive?  Did I love?  These are the real questions.  I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.”

~ Henri Nouwen

I live in a community known for its erratic and not-so-nice drivers.  That makes for interesting experiences every day – whether it’s the honking from impatience or the gestures…  So I was quite surprised on a recent morning when a young man I let into the lane ahead of me flashed a peace sign with his fingers.  Of all the things I have seen on the road, I have never had someone offer the sign of peace.  It made me smile.  I don’t know how much of a message he intended to convey, but no matter.  I took it as a reminder of the season, and silently thanked him and wished him well.

The Kindness of a Cyber Assist

“What’s fulfilling is being happy and being able to help other people.  The simple things.”

~ James Arthur

My son, who is in middle school, loves to draw.  Recently, a teacher at school asked him to draw a particular type of bird.  My son was a little stumped by this assignment and reached out to a group of friends, nearly all a little older than he is.  One of the girls, a high schooler, responded with a video she created to help him draw the bird.

Kindness and Babysitters

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Two teenagers I know frequently babysit for a single mother in their community who has twins.  Recently, the mother asked them to babysit for an evening as she had a meeting to attend.  When the mother tried to pay the teenagers, they told her that babysitting that evening was their Christmas gift to her.  The mother asked the teenagers if they were sure.  They insisted they were.

The Kindness of a Little Help

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W.H. Auden

We recently were at a family dinner at a restaurant and I was touched by how much a teenage friend of my children helped during the evening.  She took many photos for me and when one of my children needed to go to the restroom, this friend insisted on accompanying her.  This friend also entertained us on the drive home with several songs that she played on her phone for us to sing along to.  When I look back on the evening, this teenager’s kindness really stands out.

The Kindness of a Greeting

"The main thing you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.”

~ Ed Sheeran

The other day as I stood in line at the bank, a gentleman ahead of me wished the teller a happy holiday season.  As he was leaving, he wished everyone the best for the season.  I found myself smiling as I left the bank.  Nothing like a little Christmas cheer.

Kindness and the Village

"True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

I would be lost without my village.  On a recent evening, my daughters needed to be picked up from a babysitting assignment, but my son, who was not feeling well, had fallen asleep.  I called one of my villagers.  “Are you in your pjs already?” I asked. “No,” she said, “What do you need?”  Within minutes, she was out the door, picked up my daughters, and brought them home.  Priceless.

Kindness, a Student and the Homeless

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

~ Dalai Lama

A teacher at my children’s school shared a story recently about a high school student who had greatly impressed her on a school trip to another city last year.  The teacher recounted how the student, then a high school junior, had bought a box of granola bars and distributed them to homeless people she encountered.  On one occasion, she asked a homeless person if he was hungry and took him to a restaurant where she bought him a meal.  This student, now a senior, celebrated her birthday recently by inviting a group of her classmates to join her to feed and visit with the homeless.

The Kindness of a Visit

“Education is the key to success in life, and teachers make a lasting impact in the lives of their students.”

~ Solomon Ortiz

One of my son’s former teachers came by for a visit recently.  She had not seen him for a while and wanted to stop by before the holidays.  I did not tell my son ahead of time as I knew it would be a great surprise.  My son was absolutely thrilled when she arrived.  They had a nice visit at our kitchen table.  Over cookies, she listened as he shared stories about his new school.  And she brought him a gift – a book she thought he might enjoy.

The Kindness of a College Student

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~ Mary Lambert

Every so often, people surprise me – sometimes more than others.  This time, it was a college student in the middle of finals.  I asked this college student, the daughter of one of my closest friends, if she would write a note of encouragement for someone.  Knowing how stressed college students can be at any time and particularly at the end of a semester, I told her not to worry if she could not do it.  She told me she would do it right away.  And she did.  She actually sent it to me within the half hour.  It was a beautiful note.  And she thanked me for asking her to do it.  All I can say is, wow.

Kindness and Joy at Christmas

“Christmas is joy, religious joy, an inner joy of light and peace.”

~ Pope Francis

I love this time of year – for many reasons.  One of them is the joy that people feel when they are able to help others, to give, to be kind…  An older woman I know collected money from friends and added that to what she was planning on spending to purchase Christmas toys for less fortunate children in her community.  She spent a good portion of her weekend raising the money and buying the toys, and her heart was filled with joy at having been able to give more than she imagined.

Kindness and a Bartender

“Getting money is not all a man’s business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.”

~ Samuel Johnson

At a recent holiday party, I noticed that my children were given red plastic cups with their sodas while the adults were served in clear cups.  I asked the bartender about it and he said that it was intentional.  “I have a three year old – I don’t want children picking up the wrong drink,” he shared.

Kindness and the Village

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We know it takes a village to raise children.  And I am grateful again and again for the people in my village.  Most recently, my son went on an overnight school field trip – his first ever without a parent.  He texted several times, but then the texts stopped and I was not sure if he had arrived at their destination.  But another mom texted me.  She had a tracking app on her son’s phone and she sent me a text showing me exactly where they were.  Sometimes the best thing your village gives you is peace of mind.

Kindness and a Belt

“We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing.”

~ Billy Graham

My son goes to a middle school where belts are required.  Recently, he forgot to wear his belt.  During one of his classes, a boy noticed that my son was not wearing a belt and told him.  Another boy, a grade older, gave my son his belt to wear.  I’m not sure how the older boy expected to not get in trouble for missing a belt, but lending his belt to my son certainly was a very nice kindness to extend to a younger classmate.

The Kindness of a Surprise Gift

“Every gift from a friend is a gift for your happiness.”

~ Richard Bach

A woman I know recently helped to find a date to a dance for her daughter’s friend.  It was no big deal as the mother knew that both her daughter and her daughter’s friend would be glad if they both could attend.  A couple of days after the dance, the mother was quite surprised to receive a lovely thank you gift from the other girl’s mother.

Kindness, Thoughtfulness and Generosity

“Every minute of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style.”

~ Rebecca Soinit

A couple of months ago, my steadfast friend saw a necklace that she really liked on a mom I know.  I don’t know this mother well, but I asked her if she remembered where she had gotten it, so that I could try to get it for my friend.  I ran into the mother at a school event on a recent evening.  “You asked me about the necklace, right?” she asked.  And then she took a box out of her purse and gave it to me.  It was the necklace, so that I could give it to my friend.  Kind.  Thoughtful.  Generous.

More Middle School Kindness

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

A middle school boy recently shared that one of his classmates returned after a two-day absence.  She had gone on a trip with her family.  He asked her how her trip had gone.  She seemed to appreciate the question and said that no one else had asked her about it.

Kindness Remembered

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

~ Jackie Robinson

The other day, I ran into a woman I knew from our high school days.  Her husband went to the same high school as my brother, and they remain friends.  She introduced me to her daughter, a young woman in her 20s.  And she shared how much she appreciated my brother’s going to visit them when this daughter was in the hospital for surgery.  It turns out that had been more than 10 years ago.  But it had been important to her and her husband then, and she continues to remember it all these years later with appreciation.  

Kindness and Teenage Boys

“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.”

~ Aristotle

My daughters recently attended their school’s Christmas Formal.  These events create quite a flurry of activity and I was heartened through it all to see kindness on display by teenage boys.  There was the young man whose mother had been asked if he could go by another mother.  He could not go, but he called the mother who asked to thank her for thinking of him.  Another young man who could not attend because he was working on a play at his school wanted to reciprocate by inviting the girls who asked him to the play.  One of the young men who joined my daughters and their friends accompanied the girls back into the building when one of them forgot her bouquet. And then there is one of my perennial favorites: The young man with the impeccable manners who looked at everyone getting into my car and was perplexed as to how he could open the doors for everyone.

The Kindness of a Teacher

“Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world.”

~ Malala Yousafzai

My son recently performed in his school’s winter concert.  On our way to the evening recital, he said that one of his favorite teachers might attend.  Before the concert started, we saw the teacher.  My son was thrilled that his teacher had gone to see him and his friends play.