Kindness and the Gift of an Hour

"My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness."
~ Dalai Lama XIV

A grandmother I know has committed herself to an hour of perpetual adoration every Friday evening at the Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament at her parish.  On a recent Friday, she did not feel well.  Her son-in-law, who generally avoids church, told her that he would go and sit in her place.  To reassure her, he texted her both on his way to the chapel and when he had completed her turn.

Kindness and Crutches

"Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community."
~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

I recently had a conversation with an elementary school teacher, who is temporarily in crutches.  She shared that as she was negotiating her way during one of her classes, she dropped one of her crutches.  She was surprised when one little boy immediately jumped up, picked up the crutch and then held the door for her.

The Kindness of Helping Others to Stay Safe

"The best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."
~ William Wordsworth

As I have written, I take my car in to have the tires checked periodically.  The reason I do that is that years ago, a friend who was walking with me to the parking lot after a meeting told me that my tires were worn.  I had never paid much attention to my tires before.  But thanks to my friend, I am now aware of this important safety issue and I frequently remember his kindness with great appreciation.

Kindness and Car Service

"I value humor, kindness, and the ability to tell a good story far more than money, status, or the kind of car someone drives."
~ Rebecca Wells

The other day, I stopped by the service department to which I take my car.  I needed to check my tires and to find out why the windshield wiper fluid dispenser was not working.  My service advisor measured the tire treads and told me I still had a while to go.  He found out why the fluid was not coming out across my windshield -- a broken valve -- and told me to get the piece from the parts department and that he would replace it.  A few minutes and $14 later, he had the windshield wiper fluid working.  I also asked if there was anything that could be done about a really squeaky car door.  A few sprays from a can in his drawer took care of that, too.  People drive the cars they do for all sorts of reasons -- the kindness I receive at the service department is a huge reason why I drive mine.

Parking Lot Kindness

"Give back in some way.  Always be thoughtful of others."
~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee

The parking lot of the bank I go to has very few spots and the ones it does have are close together and awkwardly designed.  The other day as I returned to my car, I noticed that the car next to me had parked so close that it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to enter the car through the driver side.  As I contemplated whether I would have to enter through the passenger side, the gentleman who parked next to me was getting out of his car and saw me looking at the space.  He told me he would move his car.  I was pleasantly surprised and grateful.

Kindness, Quiet and Heavy Lifting

"With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things."
~ William Wordsworh

We recently participated in a food-packing event for charity.  I was working on it with a long-time friend and he frequently invoked the name of a young teacher at the school where the event was held.  When things came up that we needed, my colleague would tell me that this teacher would take care of it.  And indeed this teacher did take care of all kinds of things from encouraging volunteers to participate to printing materials that we needed.  The day of the event, we needed help with filming and with great patience, he did that, too.  A couple of days after the event, I was looking through photos I had taken and I saw this young teacher again-- he was pushing the pallet of supplies early in the morning during the unpacking and there he was at the end of the event pushing the packed food onto the truck.  All the time quiet and unassuming.

Kindness and a Broom

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."
~ Desmond Tutu

The other day at a food-packing event for charity, a 10-year-old boy took it upon himself to sweep the floor after all the meals had been packed and nearly everyone had gone.  Several people commented on the intensity of his effort and one observer took several photos and sent them to his mother.  She, of course, appreciated the observer's thoughtfulness.

The Kindness of Repair and Reuse

"Every minute of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style."
~ Rebecca Solnit

The other day, I spoke to another mom who shared that she gathers clothes and other items to send to Central America.  She said that recently she found a bicycle in a trash pile that seemed to be in fairly good condition.  It turned out that the bicycle only needed an inner tube, so she repaired it and set aside to send in the next shipment.

The Kindness of Sisterly Support

"For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather; To cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands."
~ Christina Rossetti

A friend of mine recently published a book and has received incredible support from her sister network.  Fans have included work colleagues, retreat sisters and other friends.  She always has a great turnout at her book-related events.  And when some of the sisters cannot attend (after all, they are wives, mothers, professional women...), they are always in touch with the ones who have gone to find out how it went.  It is wonderful to see the wave of support and the good wishes for my friend's continued success.

The Kindness of Sharing the Overwhelm

"What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives.  Look at us.  We run a tightrope daily, balancing a pile of books on the head.  Baby-carriage, parasol, kitchen chair, still under control.  Steady now!  This is not the life of simplicity but the life of multiplicity that the wise men warn us of."
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I recently received a call from a mom friend.  She is someone I admire both for the way she parents and for how she seems to do it in a calm and graceful manner.  She shared that the other day she had felt overwhelmed with a number of small things, but overwhelmed nonetheless.  We had a nice conversation and a good laugh over the things that overwhelm us.  I appreciated her candor and found it reassuring to have company.

The Kindness of an Invitation

"When autumn darkness falls, what we will remember are the small acts of kindness: a cake, a hug, an invitation to talk, and every single rose."
~ Jens Stoltenberg

As I was heading home after what felt like a long day, my lovely friend called to see if I wanted to go for a walk -- exercise, fresh air, winding down.  I told her that I was very tired and she told me that even when she is tired, she always feels better after her walk.  Pretty convincing.  I ended up not being able to walk with her that day, but she promised to keep inviting me.  I know she will and that makes me glad.

The Kindness of a Promise to Pray

"Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all of our doings, as we express heartfelt gratitude, and as we pray for others."
~ David A. Bednar

A woman I know met another woman at a reception.  They ended up talking about a variety of topics, including that a friend of the second woman has a particularly aggressive type of cancer.  The first woman promised to pray for the other woman's friend.  And the second woman wrote the name of the gentleman on a napkin to help the first woman remember.

The Kindness of a Call from School

"The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you."
~ Anita Roddick

Whenever I see the name of one of my children's schools on my phone as an incoming call, my heart skips a beat.  Thankfully, the calls have nearly always been non-emergency.  The other day, I received an especially nice call from the administrative person at one of the schools.  One of my children had been absent for two days in a row and this person was calling to see how my daughter was doing.   

The Kindness of an Encouraging Listen

"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The other day, my two daughters and I ended up going on an impromptu shopping trip with my lovely friend.  We stopped for dinner after and the four of us shared a booth.  My daughters talked to my friend about all kinds of things from songs they liked to things they enjoyed doing.  My friend asked them questions and listened -- really listened.  And my daughters greatly enjoyed her interest and attention.  On the way home, I marveled at how a kind adult can encourage teenagers as they gain confidence.

Kindness at the Store

"I think sometimes it is more important to be gracious than to win."
~ Dorothy Kilgallen

I recently went to a store to buy a purse for one of my daughters.  I chose a color, but was not sure whether my daughter would like it, so I asked the sales person if we could return it for another color.  Of course, the woman assured me.  Later that day, I returned with my daughter to see if she wanted to exchange the purse.  The sales person was incredibly gracious and talked through the different color options with my daughter.  She even told my daughter that they have a sale in June, so that we should keep that in mind as some of the colors will be marked down.  We ended up leaving with the original color I had chosen for my daughter.  I also left with an appreciation for the sales person's gracious kindness.

The Kindness of a Phone Call

"I do believe we're all connected.  I do believe in positive energy.  I do believe in the power of prayer.  I do believe in putting good out into the world.  And I believe in taking care of each other."
~ Harvey Fierstein

It was one of those mornings -- an early business meeting, two children sick, including one with a test and rehearsal for an important event that evening.  Before 8 am, I emailed the director of one of the children's schools to ask her what she thought made sense given my child's test and the upcoming event.  To my surprise, the director called me as I drove to my meeting.  She told me that I could have called her on her mobile phone.  And together we sorted out what made sense for this particular child.  I never expected the phone call -- I imagined that she would email at some point -- and I appreciated it more than she could have imagined.  Especially on that kind of morning.

Kindness at Preschool

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."
~ Plato

One of my Kindness Muses, a preschool teacher, shared with me a beautiful story about two three-year-old boys in her class.  One little boy was crying because he had forgotten to bring to school the stuffed animal he sleeps with at rest time.  Seeing his friend distraught, another little boy lent him his own stuffed animal, a Beanie Boo husky dog named Slush, so that he would not be sad.  "If this isn't kindness, I don't know what is!" my friend said.

The Kindness of Generous Thoughtfulness

"Be the person who makes others feel special.  Be known for your kindness and grace."
~ Unknown

Our longtime babysitter went on a religious retreat recently.  As part of this retreat, family and friends are asked to write notes of support and encouragement.  I mentioned to three of my closest mom friends that my children and I were writing notes to our babysitter, and they graciously offered to write notes, too.

The Kindness of Joining Strength

"Unity is strength... when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved."
~ Mattie Stepanek

We frequent a small coffee shop on Saturday mornings and usually meet up with several other families.  The 10-year-old son of one of the families asked his mother if she would get him a cup of water.  She encouraged him to go and ask the server behind the counter, but the boy was hesitant to do so.  Overhearing the conversation, one of the other fathers got up and said, "I would like some water, too.  Let's go."  The boy got his water and his pride was preserved.

I once read that it is important to add our strength to our children's when they feel they are not up to doing certain tasks on their own.  That father did so in a beautiful and respectful way.

Kindness and a Best Friend’s Birthday

“Today you are you!  That is truer than true!  There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

~ Dr. Seuss

My daughter’s best friend had a birthday recently and my daughter knew exactly what she wanted to do.  She bought her friend a bunch of balloons, including one of her beloved Minnie Mouse, 14 Kit Kat bars (yes, her friend turned 14 and Kit Kats are her favorite candy), a couple of bottles of Gatorade as her friend usually carries the drink with her, and a small gift.  As I watched my daughter walk up to her friend’s house to deliver the gifts and a hug, I was so grateful for the thoughtful friend that she has become.

Kindness and Warmth

"Every minute of every hour of every day, you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style."
~ Rebecca Solnit

On a recent Saturday evening, I attended a Mass in a small chapel.  Surprisingly, despite the heat outside, the chapel felt chilly.  Women who had wraps or sweaters began putting them on.  And then I saw a woman in the second row take off a wrap she was wearing and hand it to a mother in the first row who was trying to keep her toddler warm.

The Kindness of a Very Generous Donation

"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you."
~ John Bunyan

My lovely friend confided to me recently what she ended up doing when she encountered a homeless person at an intersection asking for money.  When she looked in her purse for cash, she did not find any except for a $100 bill that she had been carrying with her for some time.  Why not? she thought and gave it to him.  The man could not believe his eyes.  "This makes my day -- no, my week," he said, "God bless you, God bless you."  God bless her indeed.

Kindness, a Waiter and a Pen

"Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."
~ Barbara de Angelis

I recently attended a luncheon -- one of those large events in a ballroom.  At one point, I needed a pen and after trying the woman sitting next to me, I asked the waiter if he had one.  Yes, he said, and lent me his pen.  When I was finished, I waited for him to come by again, so that I could give it back.  But when I tried to return it, he told me that I could keep it.  I asked him if he was sure and he said yes.  I thanked him and realized that his kindness had made us both smile.

Kindness and a Teen

“Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.”

~ Amelia Barr

On a recent evening, I observed a smartly dressed teen hold a restaurant door for a waitress who was coming back inside the restaurant with a stack of dirty plates.  The waitress was surprised, but grateful.

The Kindness of Support

"Surround yourself with people who provide you with support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return."
~ Karen Kain

My lovely friend is not only a dear friend, but also a professional colleague.  Recently, I was organizing a meeting for a group that she is a part of.  She very thoughtfully texted me to see if I needed any help, talked several things through with me before the meeting and then did a post-event debrief.  Needless to say, I felt very supported.

The Kindness of "Peace of Heart"

"Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
~ Philippians 4:7

The other day, I was sharing with someone a particular harrowing experience during recent international travel (severe turbulence while seated in the rear of an airplane!).  Although I don't know her well, this woman graciously told me to text her the next time that I take a flight, so that she can pray for me.  She said that she would pray for me to have "peace of heart."  I was thrilled to have someone else pray for me -- one can never enjoy too many prayers -- but I also was touched by her thoughtfulness and by the idea of "peace of heart." 

The Kindness of Communicated Thoughtfulness

"Try to make at least one person happy every day.  If you cannot do a kind deed, speak a kind word.  If you cannot speak a kind word, think a kind thought.  Count up, if you can, the treasure of happiness that you would dispense in a week, in a year, in a lifetime!"
~ Rev.  Lawrence G. Lovasik

I recently traveled overseas with a group of students and a couple of other mothers.  A week after we returned, one of the mothers texted me to say that she was making dinner from a recipe that we had learned how to make on our  trip and she thought about me.  We frequently think of others, but unless we tell them, they don't know.  And it's nice to be remembered.

The Kindness of Attentiveness

"Compassion may be defined as the capacity to be attentive to the experience of others, to wish the best for others, and to sense what will truly serve others."
~ Joan Halifax

I recently attended a baby shower at someone's house.  When I walked in, everyone was seated in chairs arranged in a circle.  I knew most of the people there, but not well.  One of the women I knew asked if I wanted to join her where there were a couple of empty seats as there was no seat next to where she was sitting.  I gladly accepted her thoughtful offer and marveled at how attentive some people can be.

The Kindness of Sharing the Music

"Music is the divine way to tell beautiful poetic things to the heart."
~ Pablo Casals

My children play at a "strings jam" every weekend.  Their violin teacher hosts a group of her students as well as other local music teachers at a local cafe where they play for an hour or so.  On a recent Saturday, I saw one of the adult music teachers whom we don't know patiently teach a song to my son.  Then I saw him work with his nephew and teach him a song, too. 

The Kindness of Humor in a Correction

"You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it."
~ Allen Klein

One of my colleagues sent me an email recently.  It began, "Not to freak you out or anything..."  She went on to tell me that in an email I had sent to another colleague, I had written to the woman using her last name (which could be a man's name) as her first name.  That is the kind of thing that I feel very badly about, but because my colleague began her email the way she did, I actually burst out laughing.  And then I wrote to the person whose name I had botched and apologized.  I was doubly grateful to my colleague -- thankful for the correction as well as for her humor, which I found contagious.