Kindness, 30 Years and Faith

"Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe."

~ Voltaire

I recently attended a 30th wedding anniversary celebration for a couple.  It was very special for a number of reasons -- the most significant one was that the husband, although relatively young, had gone through a health crisis in the last couple of months.  The couple's parish priest celebrated a beautiful Mass, which included friends reading who had read at the original wedding three decades before.  The couple renewed their vows.  They served as Eucharistic ministers.  And at the end of the Mass, the husband, a physician, stood up and thanked everyone for their prayers -- their prayers for him and their prayers for his wife, which sustained her through very trying weeks.  It was a wonderful testament to the kindness and love between a husband and a wife, the kindness of community and the power of faith.

Kindness and an Icon

"Peace begins with a smile."

~ St. Teresa of Calcutta

A priest friend of mine has been traveling in Europe and had shared that he would be attending an icon painting retreat.  I always appreciate hearing from him and I was very intrigued by the icon painting.  In fact, I wanted to ask him to send me his finished creation, but decided not to in case he didn't want to share it -- or in case I misunderstood what the retreat was about.  After several weeks of travel and a long holiday weekend, I woke up feeling a bit unsettled.  And then I saw the email from my priest friend.  He was sharing his latest travels and he included a photo of the icon he painted.  The image and his thoughtfulness made me smile, and gave me a much-welcomed sense of peace.

The Kindness of an Invitation

"Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated."

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

My lovely friend called to see if my children and I could go for a late afternoon walk on the beach.  It sounded idyllic, but two of my children were studying for final exams and I was finishing a book, so I had to decline.  But I appreciated her thinking of us more than she could imagine.

The Kindness of an Impromptu Doctor's Consult

"Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way.  And a sense of humor.  It's like medicine -- very healing."

~ Max Irons

I recently attended a pool party and barbecue at the home of family friends.  At the event, I was talking to two mothers, one of whom is a dermatologist.  The non-doctor mom told the doctor that she was going to call her office to make an appointment for her to look at something on her leg.  The doctor said she would look at it right then.  No, the other mother said and repeated that she would call the office for an appointment.  "Your appointment is now!" the doctor said with a smile and reached into her purse for a dermatoscope, a device that looks like a magnifying glass and that enables a doctor to assess skin lesions.  Thankfully, after examining our friend's leg, the doctor pronounced the small skin bump benign and our friend breathed a sigh of relief.  Having made appointments for that same kind of thing, I couldn't help but appreciate what a huge gift the doctor mother had given our friend.

Kindness and a Friday-Night Chat

"For girls and women, talk is the glue that holds a relationship together..."

~ Deborah Tannen

Our regular Friday night ritual involves meeting two other families at our neighborhood pizza place.  On a recent Friday, I was tired from nearly a week of travel, but eager to sit down and relax with good friends.  One of the mothers from the other two families was not able to persuade her children to join her, but no matter, she came.  As we sat in a booth, I was deeply grateful to be back home and enjoyed every moment of our three-mom chat.

Kindness at the Urgent Care

"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."

~ William Arthur Ward

I recently took my son to get stitches removed at a nearby urgent care facility.  When we arrived, we were warmly greeted by the staff who remembered us from our last visit.  One of the employees at the desk recalled that I was going to be traveling and asked me how my trip had gone.  

Kindness and a Gracious Hostess

“Being generous of spirit is a wonderful way to live.”

~ Pete Seeger

During a recent business trip, I stayed with one of my dearest friends.  I love staying with her because she completely spoils me in a variety of ways.  My room has fresh flowers, a robe and slippers.  She also prepares breakfast for me.  And dinner.  One evening as we sat in her kitchen, my friend was looking at photos on my phone and laughed when she saw photos that I had taken of the meals she had prepared for me.  Yes, the dishes looked beautiful and could have been found in the pages of a cooking magazine, but I think I took the photos because they remind me of her incredible kindness.

The Kindness of a Funny Photo

“You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.”

~ Brad Garrett

There is nothing like one of my favorite teenagers sending me a funny photo to brighten my day.  On a recent business trip, I woke up to a very funny photo on my phone.  Along with a good morning message, one of my daughter’s best friends sent me a photo of herself dressed in an orange and white onesie outfit complete with a hoodie and a small stuffed animal in a kangaroo-like pouch.  She was also wearing blue-mirrored sunglasses.  I couldn’t help but smile.

Kindness in the Rain

"Give back in some way.  Always be thoughtful of others."

~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee

On a recent rainy evening, a friend and I were going for dinner.  We parked the car and I noticed that the car to my right was a bit close.  As I began to get out of our car, the other car backed up and made it much easier for me to exit -- especially as it was raining.  The driver of the other car rolled down her window and said, "I'm just waiting for my food.  I figured I would just let you out."  I thanked her and realized that I was smiling as I walked away.

Kindness and Encouragement in a Sermon

"It always seems impossible until it's done."

~ Nelson Mandela

The other day, a neighbor attended a Sunday service at a church of a different denomination than her own and was very moved by the sermon delivered by the priest.  It encouraged her to reach out to someone whom she had been avoiding.

Kindness, Calling and Commitment

"The genuine priest always feels something higher than compassion."

~ Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

I recently attended the 50th anniversary celebration of a dear priest friend.  This priest married my husband and me, baptized our three children and celebrated more funeral Masses for our family than I would like to count.  He also was my boss for several years.  

During the homily at his anniversary Mass, he talked about what his life as a priest has been like the last 50 years... how he served as a pastor, then as a church administrator and most recently as a university president.  He spoke of celebrating milestones with so many families and accompanying them during the difficult moments.  Although he has shared many stories with me in the more than 20 years that I have known him, he shared one that I had never heard before.  He told of a Vietnam veteran who was holed up in his home with a number of guns surrounded by police when he called this priest and asked him to talk to him.  My priest friend showed up at the scene and was allowed to go inside and talk to the gentleman.  He ultimately was able to talk the gentleman out of the apartment without the guns.  I have no doubt that there are many other stories that demonstrate what an amazing person this priest is.

My priest friend has shared so much kindness with so many people in the last 50 years.  I am grateful for all that he has shared with my family.

The Kindness of a Phone Call

"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.  For in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

~ Khalil Gibran

It is rare that we have time to chit chat on the phone with friends.  But on a recent, lazy Saturday afternoon, my lovely friend called and we were able to catch up for a while.  We talked and we laughed, and it was a perfect addition to a day spent at home.

Retail Kindness

"The easiest and most powerful way to increase customer loyalty is really very simple.  Make your customers happy."

~ Kevin Stirtz

The other day, I stopped by a small clothing store in my community.  They have lovely things and even better, sometimes the lovely things are on sale.  I tried on a top that was 30 percent off and was thinking about buying it.  When I took the top to the register, the store employee told me, "This is 30 percent off, but I can mark it down to 50 percent off."  Sold!  And, of course, they will keep me going back for more.

Parking Kindness

"If you have an impulse to kindness, act on it."

~ Douglas Coupland

On a recent evening, I drove into the parking lot of our favorite pizza place to pick up dinner.  I spied an empty parking space right in front and before I could turn into it, a car with teenagers made a beeline for it.  To my surprise, the teenagers saw me, backed up and let me have the space.

When Kindness is Huge

"Saints were saints because they acted with loving-kindness whether they felt like it or not."

~ Dan Millman

I truly enjoy small kindnesses, but then there are the huge kindnesses that are shared when you really need them. 

Imagine driving on an early evening at some distance from home to ferry one child to an activity.  Just another day in the life of shuttling children about after school.  And then one of your other children calls and you know immediately something is wrong.  Your youngest child has cut himself with a very large knife.  You try to process the info as the two children at home try to show you the injury on the phone amid crying and screaming.  You are trying to drive, turning the car around...  Trying -- very hard but unsuccessfully -- to think clearly.  You are crying and screaming, too.  But through the haze, you call one of your villagers.  You ask if she is home, if she has a car...  You tell her what is going on -- or at least you try to.  Through tears.  She drives to your house.  She also notices a firetruck parked nearby and instructs one of her children to run to the truck and ask the firefighters if they can take a look at your child's injury.  You are more than relieved when you see her on the phone screen with your children.  And then you see the firefighters.  You are still trying to get home.  When you arrive at your house, your mom friend brings your child to the car and offers to drive you to the Urgent Care.  You sit in the back with your son, grateful for huge kindnesses.  A couple of hours and a couple of stitches later, you all leave the Urgent Care.  It seems like a minor incident -- except that it wasn't.

A Small Kindness

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

~ Aesop

I recently had several people at my house and ran out to get some sweets to serve.  Unfortunately, our favorite pastry shop was closing, so I was not able to get as many pieces as I would have liked and there were only a couple of items of which there was more than one.  When I offered the box of sweets to one of the guests, she asked my son which one he would like, but he said that he was fine with any of them.  After looking carefully at the selection, our guest made sure that she selected a treat of which there was more than one.

Kindness and a Frappuccino

"All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

~ Charles M. Schulz

Life is not always easy for teenage girls, but every so often, kindness finds its way through.  My daughter and another girl in her class have free period first thing in the morning every other day.  Last week, the other girl brought my daughter one of her absolute favorite things -- a double chocolaty chip frappuccino -- not once, but twice!

Kindness on Mothers' Day

"Motherhood is... difficult and ... rewarding."

~ Gloria Estefan

There is nothing like kindness from your children on Mothers' Day.  Whether it comes via the extra hugs or thoughtful cards, it reminds us of what's important and what matters the most.  And if you're lucky, you just might get a thick chocolate chip pancake in the shape of a heart.  Life doesn't get much better.

Happy Mothers' Day!

The Kindness of Teenage Wisdom

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."

~ Charles Dickens

One of my daughters recently went on one of those all-day class trips to a four-hour-away amusement park.  Not that I worry, but...  I did ask her to check in with me every so often and let me know how it was going.  She very dutifully texted me from the rest stop and once they arrived, but then I did not hear from her for a few hours.  I was with my other daughter, who reassured me by telling me that my traveling daughter and her friends were probably on the wet rides and had left the phones in a locker.  Sure enough, less than half an hour later, the traveling sister reappeared via text and shared that her phone had been in a locker while she went on the rides.

Kindness in the Skies

"Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead."

~ Charles M. Schwab

On a recent flight, a very friendly pilot greeted us shortly after we boarded.  He asked us to make sure we complied with the crew members' instructions.  Then he asked us to "be nice to each other."  He said that we should say hello to the person sitting next to us, and that by being nice, we could make the flight more pleasant for everyone.  At first, passengers seemed a bit surprised by the pilot's message, but I am pretty sure there were more smiles -- and kindness -- than there would have been otherwise.

The Kindness of an Upgrade

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

There are some of us who don't like to fly so much.  A woman I know is somewhat of a Nervous Nellie.  One of her friends teases her that she feels much better when she is sitting in first class, but this woman travels coach.  On a recent flight, this woman was on the same plane as one of her dearest friends.  Her friend, a frequent traveler, nearly always flies first class.  And on this occasion, she upgraded the fearful flyer.  There are many wonderful things about flying first class -- more space, better food... -- but there is nothing better than flying with a friend.

Kindness and the Working Mom

“I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible – oh, this is impossible.’  And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.”

~ Tina Fey

Parents are always relying on each other’s kindness – that whole it-takes-a-village thing.  And no one probably relies on kindness more than the working mom, especially the traveling working mom.  Imagine that you are all set for an overnight business trip.  Thankfully, this does not require the written schedule that the previous week-long trip required.  And then, just a few hours before your flight, your babysitter tells you that her son is sick and she has to stay home with him.  Of course, you reach out to your village and in just a few texts, arrangements are made and your three children are taken care of.  Of course, the new arrangements come with a mid-week play date for your son, but hey… every cloud has a silver lining.  And you are once more reminded how much you love your villagers.

Kindness and Angels

"The way people come into your life when you need them, it's wonderful and it happens in so many ways.  It's like having an angel.  Somebody comes along and helps you get right."

~ Stevie Ray Vaughan

A mom I know recently sent an email to her friends about another mother who works at one of the small stores in our community.  I have seen the woman a number of times, but did not know her name.  The mom who wrote to me not only knows her name, but also has gotten to know her and various personal difficulties she has faced.  The mom who wrote to me shared the other woman's story and asked for help with a medical procedure that this woman needs.  I have no doubt that thanks to the kindness of the mother I know, this other mother will be able to have her procedure.  I told the mother who contacted me that the other woman was blessed to have her as a guardian angel.  She shrugged it off and said that she feels blessed that when she shares a need, angels come out of the woodwork to help.

The Kindness of a Powerful Suggestion

"Anyone can negatively criticize -- it is the cheapest of all comment because it requires not a modicum of the effort that suggestion requires."

~ Chuck Jones

At the end of a recent yoga class, the instructor finished with her usual reflection about how blessed we are, how blessed that we were able to move the way we did, how blessed that we were able to get to class...  Then she suggested that, "for today, just for today... don't complain."  It seemed like a great idea, so I decided to give it a try.  The truth is that I ran into another mother and we ended up talking about a variety of topics...  And I am not sure that I left the building without violating my new resolution.  But I guess that it's like eating healthily or exercising, we fall down on the job and we try again. 

Kindness and Check-Out Lines

"Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all.  They're underused."

~ Tommy Lee Jones

I was surprised to find kindness in a somewhat unlikely place -- store check-out lines.  And two days in a row.  The first time, I was standing in an incredibly long line at a store.  I wasn't exactly sure who the last person in line was, so I asked the woman who I thought was at the end.  She thought she was, but then there was another woman off to the side and we could not figure out if she was part of the line.  "If she is in line, I'll just let her go ahead of me," the woman in front of me said.  The second time was at the grocery store.  I was checking out when my daughter and I realized that we had forgotten something.  My daughter ran off to get it, but did not get back before the cashier finished ringing us up, so I told her to go to the self-check out line.  But the gentleman behind me insisted that she could go ahead of him.  It was nice to experience people being kind to each other.

Kindness and Precious Moments

"To be able to go the distance with a brother or sister, to have them turn into your ally, is about the greatest thing that can ever happen to you."

~ Marie Brenner

They say that raising teenagers is not easy.  But there are moments...  On a recent Saturday, a teenager had a prom to get ready for.  Her younger sister had other plans, but decided that she would prefer to help her sister get ready instead of having fun with her friends.  "What will I remember more in 20 years?" the younger sister rhetorically asked her mother.  And so after a day of shopping for her sister's dress, shoes and accessories, the younger sister passed on her evening with friends and helped her older sister get ready for her big night.  There are moments that are truly precious.

Kindness, Donuts and Encouragement

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

At a recent business meeting I attended, there was a buffet breakfast, which included a number of trays filled with delicious-looking donuts.  Two colleagues were surveying the food and one said to the other, "You don't need to eat that."  And just like that, the two women sat down with plates that included fruit and yogurt -- but no donuts.

Kindness, Popcorn and Candy

“A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.”

~ Joseph Joubert

At a recent business meeting, we were scheduled to see a work-related movie after a long-day of meetings.  We teased our colleague who organized the film screening that we should have popcorn.  We were surprised a few minutes after the movie started to find not only popcorn but a selection of candy and refreshments set out before us.

The Kindness of a Weather Update

“I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example, and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world.”

~ Misha Collins

I recently had to travel out of town for a meeting with a group of work colleagues.  The night before I traveled, I received an email from one of my colleagues with the weather forecast for the city to which we were going. Thanks to my colleague, I packed a raincoat and an umbrella, which came in very handy.

Kindness on the Train

“I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now.  Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

~ Stephen Grellet

I recently was taking a train with a work colleague.  We each had our rollerboard suitcase as well as two other bags.  When we arrived at the train to board, we were faced with four steep steps up to the train.  As she and I talked about how we would get the bags up, a young man behind us offered to help.  He put down his bag and foisted one suitcase and then the other up onto the train.  We were incredibly grateful.

Kindness and More Kindness

“Remember that there is no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

~ Scott Adams

At a recent school Mass, the priest talked about the importance of showing the face of God to each other.  She pointed out that one of the acolytes had remembered that the deacon had hurt his foot and so went to the altar instead of to the middle of the aisle, so that the deacon did not have to walk so far.  As it turned out, the deacon’s foot had healed and he is now able to walk to where he normally reads the Gospel.  The priest mentioned the acolyte’s name and commended him for being the face of God to another.  What the priest did not know was that the acolyte had been having a not-so-great day and yet he had been able to think of someone else.  I have no doubt that the priest’s recognizing this boy’s kindness did a lot to improve the boy’s day.