The Kindness of a Hug

"Where I live if someone gives you a hug, it's from the heart."

~ Steve Irwin

At church recently, I saw someone I had not seen in a long time.  As he was leaving, he came by and gave me a big hug.  I saw him a little later and told him how much I appreciated his hug.  "Then I'll give you another one," he said.  And he did.

The Kindness of Leadership

"Example is leadership."

~ Albert Schweitzer

On a recent morning as I was driving one of my children to school, I saw a police officer at the intersection at the corner of our house.  He was handing out flyers to the people in the cars and to pedestrians.  When he got to my car, I realized that he was our police chief and he was distributing brochures on public safety.  I was so impressed that he would do this himself and appreciate the important example that he set not only for his troops, but also for our community.

The Kindness of Sharing Lovely Thoughts

"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved."

~ George Sand

There are moments -- especially during days that turn out crazier than you expected -- when you realize that you have to pause, be grateful and savor life's joys.  And sometimes the realization comes thanks to a beautiful text from a lovely friend:  "Hi girls!  You know those thoughts suddenly come and have to be said... thanks for being the truly wonderful friends that you are!  I love you!"  Can there by anything kinder than sharing love?

Kindness and a Glass of Water

"The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."

~ William Wordsworth

It can be that simple.  A few days ago, I was at a business meeting and as I was speaking, my throat caught.  I paused and mumbled something about my throat, and before I could even think about getting anything, a colleague of mine two people down the table from me put a bottle of water in front of me.  He didn't say a word, but I was deeply appreciative of his kindness.

The Kindness of a Dropped-Off Treat

"But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold."

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Every so often, one of my children's godmothers will call or text, "Are you home?"  That is always good news as it means that a treat is on its way to us.  The treats have ranged from cooked veggies and homemade hummus to desserts.  Our most recent treat came from our friend's trip to Hawaii -- Choco Mochi, chocolate-covered Japanese rice crackers.  Incredibly delicious.  But the best part is that our friend always thinks of us and of what we would enjoy.

Remembering Kindnesses

"But every memory of friendship shared, even for a short time, is a treasure, like sunshine and warmth in our lives, like a cool breeze on a humid day, like a shower of warmth refreshing the earth."

~ Author unknown

I have been remembering two former work colleagues this week because their birthdays are today and tomorrow.  It has been more than 18 years since I worked with these two gentlemen -- one a veteran administrator, the other a priest -- but I remember them fondly and greatly appreciate their many kindnesses toward me. 

In my first management position, I was the only woman on the senior staff of the organization where we worked and I was younger than my male colleagues.  These two gentlemen always treated me with respect and with kindness, and I learned a lot working with them.  Along the way, we became friends.  The priest concelebrated my wedding.  And several years later, when I walked into the church for my grandmother's funeral, I saw him and the two other priests who had concelebrated my wedding standing there and I was filled with gratitude.  When I became incredibly nervous about an upcoming minor surgery, the other gentleman kindly shared his personal experience with surgery to alleviate my anxiety.  My former colleagues and I spent a lot of time together years ago -- many work lunches, special events and more meetings than we care to remember.  But I can say that it was always fun -- and if it wasn't, I don't remember.  I also felt they always had my back.

I had not seen the priest in years as he moved away, but he was in town last year and we met for dinner.  We now keep in touch by email.  Last week, he emailed me and mentioned our former boss' announced retirement and the passing of someone else.  "Things are passing on, but we have the good memories of good times," he wrote.  The many kindnesses that these two gentlemen shared with me are forever in my heart.

Kindness and Goodies

"The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love color the most."

~ John Ruskin

As he was preparing his Valentine’s Day treats for his classmates, an elementary school boy I know told his mother that he was worried because one of the girls in his class was allergic to something.  But the little boy did not know to what his friend was allergic and he wanted to make sure that he gave her a treat that she could eat.  His mother texted the girl’s mother and found out that she has a gluten allergy, so they found candy that was gluten-free.  The boy then told his mother that one of the other boys in the class was allergic to nuts and some of the candy he was taking was processed at a place with nuts.  The mother texted the other boy’s mother and checked to make sure that the candy that her son was taking would be okay for the other boy.  Thankfully, it was.  Although assembling her son’s Valentine’s goodies required a few extra steps this year, the mother was pleasantly surprised by her son’s thoughtfulness.

Kindness and a Burned-Out Bulb

"I shall pass through this world but once.  Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now.  Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

~ Stephen Grellet

On a recent morning while I was still at home, a mom friend texted "the left rear brake light on your minivan is out."  I wondered if the text was for me -- I don't drive a minivan -- and then it occurred to me that she might have just seen my husband dropping off the children at school.  I asked her if it was his car.  Yes, she said.  She had seen one of my children getting out of the car, and as she did not have my husband's phone number, she texted me.  My husband was slightly bewildered when I texted him a few minutes later to tell him that one of his car lights was out.

A Teacher’s Kindness

"I like a teacher who gives you something to think about besides homework."

~ Lily Tomlin

One of my children recently had field day at his school – a day dedicated to outdoor games and fun.  He shared that he found himself without a partner for the water balloon toss.  But then his teacher volunteered to play with him.  “And we won second place!” he proudly shared.

The Kindness of an Artist

“There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing a happy and smiling child.  I always help in any way I can, even if it’s just by signing an autograph.  A child’s smile is worth more than all the money in the world.”

~ Lionel Messi

On a recent visit to a theme park, a street artist draw portraits of our children.  One of my children, who loves to draw, was very intrigued by how the artist quickly completed the drawings.  He asked her what kind of pencil she used.  The artist explained that it was a certain brand of wax pencil, which enabled her to paint with watercolor over the drawing without it smudging.  As we were her last clients, we watched as the artist packed up her materials.  Before she left, she gave my son one of her pencils.  He was thrilled.

Kindness and that Extra Touch

“I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile."

~ Charles de Lint

I recently stayed at a hotel with my family for the weekend.  One evening, we ordered room service.  The woman who brought our dinner offered to put a white tablecloth on the table. She then placed a gold napkin in the center to “add some color.”  Because we had ordered a child’s meal, she said she imagined that there was a child, so she gave us an origami animal that she had made.  She then showed my son had you could flip the small paper animal over and it would land on its feet again.

Random Acts of Kindness

“If you have kindness in your heart, you offer acts of kindness to touch the hearts of others wherever you go – whether they are random or planned.  Kindness becomes a way of life.

~ Roy Bennett

Earlier today, an email from a vendor alerted me that it was Random Acts of Kindness Day.  I am not sure how official that is, but it reminded me of a couple of random acts that I recently enjoyed.  We had traveled to another city for a robotics competition at a state fair grounds.  When we arrived at the fair grounds, we parked and approached one of the entrances only to find out that we were not in the right place.  A teenager and his mother also were looking for the competition.  As we walked back to our car to drive to another entrance, the teenager came running up to our car to tell us where we had to go as his mother had just received the right directions.  A couple of hours later during the lunch break, another mom and I were trying to move a metal picnic table into the shade, so that we could sit out of the sun.  As we struggled with the table, a gentleman came up and helped us to move it.  

The Kindness of a Warm Hand

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."

~ Henri Nouwen

There is an older woman who usually sits behind us at church.  Although we exchange smiles and greetings, until recently I did not know her name.  This past Sunday, she introduced herself.  At one point during the service, I felt her hand on my shoulder -- in a very reassuring kind of way.  I wasn't sure what triggered it, but I did not doubt for a moment that it was a sign of friendship.

Kindness, Friendship and Galentine's

"If you can find a group of women, any age, who are supportive and kind and love you, that's the best.  I have a group of girlfriends that I would lay in front of a bus for.  They've picked me up through really, really bad times and I can definitely say I've done the same for them."

~ Katie Lowes

When one of my daughters told me she would be celebrating "Galentine's," I thought it was just a cute word play on the Valentine's holiday.  It turns out that Galentine's may have originated on a television show.  But wherever or however it began, it is about celebrating friends -- in this case, girl friends.  As I watched my daughter carefully put together cute gifts for her teenage friends, I thought of the evening I recently spent with my girlfriends from elementary school.  It's wonderful to girlfriends who are with you for the long haul.  We all need our buddies on this life journey.

The Kindness of an Offer

"It's not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."

~ Epicurus

A mom I know had to arrange travel for her children for a weekend competition in a city several hours away.  When she looked into airfare, each ticket would cost nearly $300 -- and there were three tickets to purchase.  As she was researching travel possibilities, she spoke to one of her dearest friends, who travels to the destination city on a regular basis, about other airline options.  He said that he had plenty of miles and would be happy to get the three tickets for her.  She was surprised and appreciated it more than he could imagine.  The mom ended up using her own miles on a different airline, but was incredibly grateful for her friend's thoughtful and generous offer.

The Kindness of Great Cooking

"I think careful cooking is love, don't you?  The loveliest thing you can cook for someone who's close to you is about as nice a valentine as you can give."

~ Julia Child

At a church that we attend, there is a coffee hour following the service and parishioners take turns bringing the food.  One of the women who hosts the coffee hour is an amazing cook and it was recently her turn.  As we walked into the parish hall after the service, there were delicious smells in the air.  I overheard more than one person say that they were thrilled when they saw her leave the Mass after Communion as they knew that meant that she had prepared the meal.  Hearing that, I thought how wonderful to be able to make people happy that way.

Kindness and Favors

"The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you."

~ Anita Roddick

For some people, asking for a favor is not an easy thing to do.  And then there are people who respond to a favor in such a gracious way that it makes the favor seem not like a favor at all.  A mom I know is not a big highway or long-distance driver, so she asked another mother if she could ride with her to a weekend school activity in another city.  The other mother enthusiastically responded that she would welcome company on the long drive.  The mothers ended up spending a few hours together in conversation, which they had not done for a while.

Kindness and a Thoughtful Wearing

"Give back in some way.  Always be thoughtful of others."

~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee

On a recent evening, we went to a dinner event hosted by friends of ours, a married couple.  They live out of town and so we only see them once a year at this annual event.  As we were walking in, the woman made a comment about her scarf, which I realized was one I had given her a couple of years before.  When we sat at the table, she asked me if I recognized it.  Yes, I said, and I told her how thoughtful it was of her to wear it.  It amazed me that she would remember the gift and think to use it.

The Kindness of Acceptance

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ah, old friends -- nothing like them.  And when you couple that with getting to a certain age where you are not as concerned with what others think, conversations are pretty amazing and funny and comforting.  At my recent dinner with a group of girls whom I have known since before we were 9, we laughed at old pictures of ourselves and at current photos of ourselves.  We took a photo with glasses because we all needed them to look at the old photos of ourselves.  We are way past sharing our behind-the-curtain family stories.  And when one of the "girls" described another one of us as crazy (to the exclusion of the others), we all looked at her with looks that said, "really?"  One of the friends brought small gifts for each one and another decided to take credit for the gifts.  We laughed at ourselves and with each other.  Acceptance is a wonderful thing.

The Kindness of Gathering Old Friends

"You don't have to have anything in common with people you've known since you were five.  With old friends, you've got your whole life in common."

~ Lyle Lovett

A friend from elementary school recently invited seven of us for dinner.  The organizer lives in another city, so she took the opportunity of being in town to set up our getting together.  Several of us graduated together from high school, but two or three left the school before then, although we continued to see each other.  I appreciate not only the friend who organized the reunion, but also everyone who is making the effort to attend.  While we may not be family, in many ways we grew up together and have quite a shared history.

Kindness and Entertainment Recommendations

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I generally don't watch television series.  After staying up way too late on a Mad Men binge a couple of years ago, I called it quits.  But I have a couple of friends who share their recommendations with me -- even if I tell them I'm not watching.  Recently, I found myself watching one of the shows they had recommended.  It was a pleasant -- and probably needed -- distraction.  I am grateful that my friends continue to share their recommendations despite my protestations.

Late-Night Kindness

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

There are moments that make you say a silent thank you -- even after you have thanked the person who helped you profusely.  Imagine that it's closing in on midnight when your child realizes that she is missing a color copy of something for a project due the next day, but your go-to color printer is on the fritz and the closest all-night copier place is probably 10 miles and a big bridge away.  You think think think and decide to text one of your first mom friends to ask if she is up (even though she shouldn't be because she is a teacher and teachers go to sleep early) and to see if she has a color printer.  You stare at the phone and become hopeful as you see the three little dots that indicate she is answering your text.  The message arrives:  "I do! Brand new. Can I print something for you?"  And with those few words, she saves the day (night, really).  So you drive the couple of blocks to her house and she is standing outside by the street with the color copies.  Drive-thru service, no less.  And you are grateful.  Again and again.

The Kindness of a Visit

"Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it...  When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back."

~ Rick Warren

On a recent weekend, one of my dearest college friends came for a visit.  She had business in a city nearby and decided to come to visit with me for a couple of days.  It was wonderful to be with her as we don't get much time together.  And I appreciated her taking the additional days to spend time with me.  It was quite a gift.

Kindness and a Note

"My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness."

~ Dalai Lama

An elementary school boy I know recently had a grandparents' event at his school, but his grandparent was out of town.  When the head of the school heard that this boy did not have his grandparent present, she wrote him a beautiful note saying that she was thinking about him and telling him that he was a very special young man.

The Kindness of Children-Made Home Remedies

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

I recently went through a bout of bronchitis.  Worried about my persistent cough, my children took to the Internet to find some good home remedies.  I was served hot herbal tea as well as warm milk and honey.  There were some other remedies that they considered, but fortunately I escaped chewing garlic cloves.

Kindness and Sharing Treats

"There's a great joy in my giving.  It's thrilling. It's exhilarating.  It's important to be a part of sharing.  It is my love.  It is my joy."

~ W. Clement Stone

One of my dearest mom friends recently told me she had a little gift for me.  "I like them, but you like them more than I do," she said.  A beloved teacher, my friend frequently receives presents from her students and their parents.  Sometimes, the treats make their way to me.  The latest gift was a generous container of these small, delicate and very delicious cookies that I love.

Kindness and Distraction

"I need distractions. Good distractions, not bad ones."

~ Danny Aiello

It was one of those crazy days -- back-to-back meetings and events.  Although I left one meeting early, I was still going to arrive at the next meeting late.  As I was on my way there and bothered by my being late, I received a call from an old friend who wanted to run something by me.  She apologized for interrupting me, but on the contrary, I was delighted to hear from her and I much preferred a conversation with her than with my monkey mind and its useless chatter.