The Kindness of a Welcomed Interruption

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.  For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

~ Khalil Gibran

I was up to my ears in some administrative work at home when I received a call from my lovely friend.  She had just spent some time with another mother, someone for whom we both have great affection, and she was calling to tell me how funny this person was.  We spoke for a few minutes about our mutual friend and other things, and laughed, and I found myself much happier when I returned to my task.

Kindness and a Friendly Parking Attendant

"Your customers are judging every aspect of every transaction and rating everything, from friendliness of people to ease of doing business to quality of product to service after the sale."

~ Jeffrey Gitomer

I recently had to attend a meeting with an out-of-town visitor at a fairly large university.  I was unsure of how difficult it would be to find parking and where I was going.  When I arrived at the multi-story parking garage where I was supposed to park, I was very pleasantly surprised by the friendliness of the parking attendant.  First, he directed us to very convenient parking.  Second, he told us to pay at the machine, but if we took longer than we had paid for, not to worry.  Lastly, he left his booth to direct us to where we were going.  It was a wonderful welcome to an unfamiliar place.

Kindness, Friendship and a Mug

"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."

~ Charles Dudley Warner

Some time ago, friends from out of town gave me a coffee mug -- it might have been for a birthday or perhaps Christmas.  It is my absolute favorite mug and the only one I use to drink tea, my warm drink of choice.  I love this mug for various reasons -- it is adorned with Jane Austen quotes (yes, I am a big fan), it is a good size and it has a rectangular handle, which I find very comfortable to use.  It also reminds me of these friends, a married couple, and their friendship, which we have enjoyed for more than a decade.  On a recent weekend, as I nursed a cold and treated myself to many cups of tea with honey, I found comfort in wrapping my hand around the warm mug's unusual handle and thinking about some of my favorite things -- Jane Austen novels and friendship, among them.

Kindness and Paying it Forward

"In a world like this, you pay it forward, 'cause more than likely you didn't deserve it when you got it the first time."

~ Mindy McGinnis

A woman I know has a penchant for pens.  They don't have to be expensive pens.  At a recent bank visit, there was a purple pen at the teller's station.  She remarked on it to the teller, who told her that she could have it.  It made her very happy and she left the bank delighted with her purple pen.  Just thinking about the pen and the teller's having given it to her made her smile.  A couple of hours later, she was at a fast food drive-thru getting a couple of items for her children.  As she was paying at the window, she heard the cashier tell the car behind her how much the meal was.  She decided to pay for the other meal.  Why not, she figured.  The teller had given her something to smile about.  She might as well pay it forward.  As she drove off, she heard the car behind her give her what sounded like a friendly beep beep.  She imagined that person would be paying it forward, too.

Kindness and... Love

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

~ Audrey Hepburn

I recently saw two older people walking along the sidewalk holding hands.  They looked to be in their late 70s or perhaps 80s.  It was mid-morning, so they were wearing hats to shield their faces from the sun.  The woman seemed to be having trouble walking, so the man, who was significantly taller, was matching his stride to hers and seemed to be steadying her.  I was very touched and tried to imagine their story...  Had they been married 50 or maybe 60 years?  Were they high school sweethearts who had met up again after many years and different lives?  Or had they met as older adults?  Regardless, what I saw was friendship and hope and kindness.  And I decided -- it must be love.

The Kindness of Your Own Cheering Squad

"The energy you give off is the energy you receive.  I really think that, so I'm always myself -- jumping, dancing, singing around, trying to cheer everybody up."

~ Cara Delevingne

My lovely friend's teenager daughter plays soccer -- and she has her very own cheering squad.  In addition to her parents, there were several of her friends from at least three different schools at one of her recent games.  Pretty neat to have your own cheering section.  Of course, there is a reason this girl attracts others -- she is quite extraordinary and she is a good friend. 

The Kindness of Sharing Moments... and Joy

"Joy is the simplest form of gratitude."

~ Karl Barth

Years ago, we surprised our daughters with a trip to New York.  We picked them up at school and off we went.  When I told one of the teachers what we were going to do, she asked if she could be there when we told them.  Of course and we all had great fun.  Recently, one of my friends heard terrific news about one of her children -- yes, it's school admissions time.  And she kindly invited me to go with her as she shared the news with her daughter.  It was a touching and beautiful moment, and I was thrilled to share in the joy.

The Kindness of Sharing Stories

"You must do the things you think you cannot do."

~ Eleonor Roosevelt

In this age of social media, I sometimes wonder how much sense some of the gratuitous sharing makes.  I'm not sure that most people want to know all of the information we share.  That said, I recently read an autobiographical book by a professional athlete that shared challenges that he had faced and how he had dealt with them.  Not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination, I found myself profoundly inspired by the story that he related so candidly.  And the other day as I walked on the treadmill, I pushed the speed just a little higher and I went for just a little longer as I thought about all that he had overcome.

Kindness toward Ourselves

"Don't forget to love yourself."

~ Soren Kierkegaard

At a recent yoga class, the instructor talked about being kind to yourself.  She said that we should not judge how much we could do during class, but just breathe and stay in the moment.  She also said that we should try to not criticize ourselves, but rather be gentle toward ourselves.  I tried it for a while -- surely not long enough -- but it's pretty powerful.  At the very least, it feels much better than the constant self-critical jabber.

Ultimate Kindness... Can We?

"Choosing kindness is the ultimate expression of evolved consciousness.  Grow by being kind."

~ Amy Leigh Mercree

I recently heard a sermon in church that got me thinking.  The priest talked about the current political "craziness" and how important it is to respect each other's opinions.  And it made me wonder:  Can we disagree with someone else's ideas without putting the person down or making any negative comments about the other person?  Can we still recognize the dignity in each other regardless of the other person's opinions?  Wouldn't that be the ultimate in kindness?

Kindness, Teenage Girls and a Bus Ride

"The simple act of caring is heroic."

~ Edward Albert

A mom friend recently shared that her daughter, who began 9th grade this year at a new school, was getting ready to go on a school trip.  The teenager was not sure with whom she would sit on the bus and as any of us who remember those bus trips can attest, seating arrangements can be a source of angst.  However, another teenage girl asked my friend's daughter if she wanted to sit with her and her friends.

The Kindness of a Random Gift

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

I recently celebrated a good friend's birthday with her and a couple of other friends.  After lunch, one of the other friends asked me to accompany her to her car.  While shopping for our friend's birthday, this other friend had seen a necklace that she thought I would like and had gotten it for me.  I do love the necklace, but I appreciate her thoughtfulness even more.  A random gift is a wonderful surprise.

The Kindness of Neighbors

"The duty of helping one's self in the highest sense involves the helping of one's neighbors."

~ Samuel Smiles

A colleague of mine lost his mother less than two months ago.  His parents had been married more than 60 years and were just moving when his mother became ill, so now his father is in a new house in a new neighborhood without his lifetime partner.  My colleague shared that he was so happy to learn that a couple in the neighborhood walked over to his father's house to welcome him to the community and to get to know him.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Thank You

"Take time to be kind and say 'thank you.'"

~ Zig Ziglar

I always aspire to write more thank you notes than I do.  And when I receive one -- especially a very thoughtful one, it encourages me to write them because I am reminded how nice they are to receive.  I gave someone a baked good for Christmas.  Nothing major, just a little something for her to know I was thinking about her.  For the second year in a row, this woman has written one of the most thoughtful thank you notes I have ever received.  She wrote how much she liked the pound cake, that she shared it with her family and that they all enjoyed it and wanted to find out where they could get it.  Her note truly brightened my day. 

Lunch-Time Kindness

"Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."

~ Barbara De Angelis

At lunch at a nearby elementary school, a younger classmate wanted someone to sit with him.  The younger boy approached a table with several children and asked if anyone would sit with him.  They invited him to join their table, but he said that he had already found a spot elsewhere.  One of the children at the table got up and joined the younger boy.

The Kindness of an Offer to Help

"Every sunrise is an invitation for us to arise and brighten someone's day."

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

I write about other mothers a lot, but it is because I would be lost without them.  Over the weekend, a mom friend texted me to ask if I wanted her to buy several supplies that our daughters needed for a service project.  I thanked her and said I would get them, but I appreciated both the reminder and the offer.

The Kindness of Getting Back in Touch

"Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends."

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Years ago, I worked closely with a colleague and we became friendly, but we both left that  job and then he moved away.  Recently, he was in town and reached out to several former colleagues and friends to join him for dinner.  We all had a terrific time reminiscing.  Days later, I ran into two people who had been at the dinner and we talked about how happy we were that our friend had gotten us together.

The Kindness of Volunteer Service

"Be of service.  Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need."

~ Gillian Anderson

One of my mom friends works as well as takes care of her children, and yet she still has time to volunteer for her church.  She helps in all kinds of ways from being a Eucharistic minister to working at retreats.  On a recent Saturday, she woke up before dawn to help with a garage sale to raise funds for a retreat.

The Kindness of Advice for Healthier Living

"The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits."

~ Dan Buettner

My lovely friend shared something that she read the other day:  Health choices that you make in your 40s and 50s will impact how you live in your 70s.  Her words have stayed with me and I suspect that they nudged me onto the treadmill and the yoga mat this week.

The Kindness of a Colleague

"I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

I recently needed to complete a project at work that required more knowledge than I had of a software program.  After thinking about whom I might call, I decided on a colleague in another state who has not been with our organization long, but has quickly proven to be an incredibly nice and generous person.  He walked me through what I needed to do and then shared a couple of "hacks" he had developed, which made what I had to do even easier.  I was worried that the project would take me longer than the two days I had before the deadline, but thanks to my very generous and kind colleague, I completed the work within a day and ahead of the deadline.

Kindness and Two Moms

"We ought to be vigilantes for kindness and consideration."

~ Letitia Baldrige

Two mothers I know ran into each other after drop off at a school.  One mother shared with the other how kind the other mom's son had been to her son.  She explained that the other mom's son had been paid attention to her son when others had not been as nice.

The Kindness of a Teenager's Thoughtfulness

"The greatest gift in life is to be remembered."

~ Ken Venturi

One of my favorite teenage girls recently spent several weeks in India with a group from her high school in Australia, where her family presently lives.  Imagine my surprise when we received a package from our friends with gifts that this teenager had bought for each member of my family during the school trip.  She bought me a beautiful scarf and a ring with a fox -- an animal that reminds her mother and me of a song we like.  Each gift was carefully selected and there was a beautiful note explaining what was for whom and why; there was even an individual card for my husband.  I wore the scarf right away and enjoyed looking at it all day -- both for its beauty as well as for the kindness it represents.

Kindness, Friends and Veggies

"Is there any practice less selfish, any time less wasted than preparing something nourishing and delicious for the people you love?"

~ Michael Pollan

We all know that we should eat our veggies, but that is much easier to do when they are deliciously grilled and delivered to you.  Recently, a married couple friends of ours cooked a big batch of veggies for us.  It was especially convenient for my family as I was out of town, and then I was able to enjoy them also when I returned home.

The Kindness of a Lunch Invitation

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy.  They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

~  Marcel Proust

The other day, one of my dearest friend texted to see if I was available for lunch the following day.  I was thrilled.  This friend is someone I adore, but schedules and where we live don't make it easy to see each other.  I was delighted that we were able to get together and appreciated his making it happen.

Kindness, Cold Weather and a Museum Guard

"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you."
~ John Bunyan

I recently was on a weekend away with part of my family. We ended up with very cold weather -- snow -- and sought refuge in a recently opened museum. We got in line with several people ahead of us and noticed that they seemed to be showing tickets to the guard. When we approached the guard, I told him that we didn't have tickets. He took my phone and pretended to scan something from it and said, "Go ahead." I looked at him and he shooed us inside. We greatly enjoyed the visit and found out later that the wait for tickets is four months!

Kindness and Glove Warmers

"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

~ Stephen Grellet

A teenager I know was waiting to enter a government building that required being "cleared" by security. It was taking much longer than anticipated -- upwards of an hour -- and this warm-weather young teen was standing outside in 30-degree temperature. One of the security guards at the building felt badly for her and gave her glove warmers. 

The Kindness of Making Memories"

"A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood."

~ Charlotte Kasl

I recently spent another evening at our favorite pizza place with two of my favorite moms. While our children talked at another table, we discussed a number of topics ranging from college to teenage fashion. We have spent many evenings together at the same place and celebrated numerous birthdays and other occasions. I treasure our many conversations, which have frequently kept me sane, made me laugh and helped me think things through. And I realized the other night that we also have created many memories for our children. I am grateful for these families' being a part of my children's childhood memories.

Kindness at the Supermarket

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness."

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I recently visited a supermarket in another neighborhood and was surprised by various kindnesses.  At the deli, my daughter ordered a sandwich.  After the deli person put lettuce on it, we asked her if she could heat up the sandwich.  Of course, she said, and asked if we wanted her to take the lettuce off and put it back on after the sandwich was heated.  Only if it was not too much trouble, we said.  No problem.  When the woman finished making the sandwich, instead of handing it to us over the counter, she came out from behind the counter and handed it to my daughter and wished us a nice day.  Wow.  At check out, as we were loading our items on the conveyor belt, another cashier came over to help us empty the cart.  It was a surprisingly pleasant grocery shopping experience.

The Kindness of the Gift of Time

"Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it.  You can make more money, but you can't make more time.  When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.  Your time is your life.  That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time."

~ Rick Warren

On a recent evening, my children and I were scheduled to meet with my steadfast friend and her daughter to exchange Christmas gifts.  We decided to meet for dinner and I suggested a place that I thought would be convenient to us both.  My friend, who is many wonderful things including considerate, insisted on driving out close to my house as she knew that I had already driven a bit that day.  Our children sat together and exchanged presents.  My friend and I had already exchanged gifts before Christmas, so we sat and talked -- and that was the best gift of all.  

Kindness, Parking and a Cigarette Break Cut Short

"Always be a little kinder than necessary."

~ J.M. Barrie

I have read that when a driver getting ready to exit a parking space realizes that someone is waiting for her space, she takes even longer to leave.  Odd, but apparently true.  However, we were very surprised on a recent search for a parking space in a busy shopping district.  After driving around for a bit and with one child in "hangry" mode, my family and I were thrilled to see two gentlemen walk toward a car parked along the street and the driver get in.  We waited for them to leave, but the passenger was standing outside the car.  We gestured to ask if they were leaving.  He gestured back to ask if we were waiting for the space.  When we communicated that we were, he hurriedly put out the cigarette that we had not seen him smoking and got into the car, and they drove away.  Apparently, he was taking a cigarette break, but cut it short to let us have the space.  We waved thank you.  Nothing like a little New Year's kindness.

The Kindness of an Open Heart

"Doors of my heart are always open with love and kindness."

~ Debasish Mridha

One of the things I treasure most about my friends is the opportunity to talk things through with them.  When I am upset, when I am confused about how to sort something out, there is nothing I cherish more than the open heart of a friend, who listens with care and kindness.