The Kindness of Positive Energy

"I do believe we're all connected.  I do believe in positive energy.  I do believe in the power of prayer.  I do believe in putting good out into the world.  And I believe in taking care of each other."
~ Harvey Fierstein

I called a friend of mine today and was greeted with her usual and very enthusiastic, "Hi Friend!"  My friend radiates enthusiasm and positive energy, and it is impossible to see her or hear her voice and not smile.  Whenever I get off the phone with her or after I have seen her, the positive energy lingers.

The Kindness of Teenagers

"How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it!"
~ George Elliston

So how surprised would you be if your teenagers decided to help you with work?  What if they put together your handouts and helped with your PowerPoint presentation?  What if they did all that and made you feel as though at least a small part of your endless talking and cajoling had actually gotten through to them?  Yes, it would be kind on their part.  But also it would be amazing to keep remembering it later.  It was a moment...

The Kindness of Unexpected Deplaning Assistance

"The marvels of daily life are exciting; no movie director can arrange the unexpected that you find in the street."
~ Robert Doisneau

I have a close relative who swears that she has never stowed her rollerboard in a plane's overhead compartment.  She says that invariably someone offers to hoist it up for her.  Very attractive, always elegantly dressed and now in her 70s, it is easy to imagine someone helping her and impossible to fathom her lifting a bag.  With me, it's about 50-50.  Sometimes, either the person behind me or someone sitting close by (nearly always men) will ask me if I need help.  Depending on where I am in the process, I may or may not accept.  And the same is true once we land.  The other day after my flight landed, there was the usual scramble to grab bags and exit the plane.  I glanced at my rollerboard and realized it was just behind my seat and out of reach.  A woman who was standing in the aisle next to me noticed my looking at the bag and asked me if it was mine.  Yes, I replied and then she said she would get it for me.  I told her not to because it was heavy, but she shrugged me off and retrieved my bag. 

While this unexpected assistance may not at first blush seem terribly exciting,  I do marvel at all the unexpected kindnesses that touch my life.

The Kindness of Being Happy

"It is much easier to talk to happy people."
~ a Disney World server

I should have asked him his name -- this restaurant server who shared his wisdom. Nonetheless, I have no doubt that I will quote him frequently.  There have been articles and books written in the last few years about happiness and most of them focus on the factors that contribute to happiness, how to be happy...  But I don't think that I have seen much on the kindness of being happy.  Just as it is definitely easier to talk to happy people, it is easier to be with happy people, it is easier to work and deal with happy people, and ultimately it makes for a much more pleasant life if you marry a happy person.  So, go ahead and make someone else's day.  Be happy. 

The Kindness of a Gracious Audience

"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."
~ William Arthur Ward

Every so often, I make work-related presentations to groups.  Recently, I traveled to another city to speak on a panel.  As I sat on the dais looking out at the audience, I was reminded of how nice it is when people in the audience make eye contact and smile.  Whether you know the person or not, there is a friendliness that is immediately transmitted and that is especially appreciated when you are "on."

The Kindness of a Late-Night Airport Pickup

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
~ Oprah Winfrey

I recently returned from a business trip that involved two flights on one day followed by two the following day to return home.  My last flight got me in past midnight.  A friend of mine graciously offered to pick me up at the airport.  When I exited the airport terminal, her husband was walking toward me to help me with my bags.  And when I got into their car, they had stopped to get my family and me donuts.  I thanked them both profusely and they acted as if it was no big deal.  I greatly appreciated their kindness and thoughtfulness.

The Kindness of Youth

"The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth."
~ Edmund Burke

At a conference I recently attended, I found myself at the end of an evening reception sitting with a group of young woman, most, if not all, in their 20s.  The conversation turned to social media and I confessed my lack of knowledge on several social media fronts.  I took the opportunity to ask these young women all kinds of questions and they kindly responded with patience and even with delight at being able to explain things to me.  I learned quite a bit and felt that they introduced me to a whole new world of tweets and hashtags that offers information and ideas that I enjoy.  Their enthusiasm about my learning was an incredible gift.

The Kindness of Parting Gifts

"Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness."
~ Richard Bach

A family we absolutely adore is moving to the other side of the world next week.  Understandably, my children are not happy about this.  But trying to spend time together before they go and creating yet more memories and laughter is the best we can do.  The children of this wonderful family are among my children's best friends and to say that they will be missed is an understatement.  One of my daughters in particular cannot imagine her life without her best friend, who has been an almost daily companion for the last three years.  As they prepare for this big move, these children (and their mother no doubt) have been thinking about my children and have given them a number of things of theirs to keep.  One gift in particular has been quite a hit -- a pair of water and light speakers.  As music plays, the water and lights go up and down.  Since their arrival at our home, these speakers have provided seemingly endless entertainment.  They are a very nice reminder of a beautiful friendship.

Kindness and a Dental Appointment

"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone's life forever."
~ Margaret Cho

A friend wrote this morning to share that she took her son to a dental appointment that she was convinced was at 10 am.  She had confirmed it last week.  After she drove quite a distance to the dentist's office, it turns out that the appointment was not at 10 am, but rather at 2 pm.  But very kindly, the dental office called another patient who had not confirmed and the patient cancelled, so they were able to see her son at 10 am after all.

Remembering the Kindness of a Father

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
~ Jim Valvano

My father has been gone nearly 15 years now.  Sadly, he never met my children.  I can only imagine how much he would have enjoyed them.  But what I don't have to imagine are the things he used to say to me and the interest he would show in whatever we were discussing.  One of the things that I can still hear him saying is, "You can do it -- of course, you can."  He used this phrase for all kinds of things from small things to big challenges.  And because he said it with such certainty and despite my insecurities, I believed that it might be true.

Remembering him and the other now-gone men in our family with great love and appreciation.

The Kindness of Remembering Others

"The greatest gift in life is to be remembered."
~ Ken Venturi

I woke up this morning to a text with a photo from one of my dearest friends.  In New York for the weekend, he saw a store that reminded him of me and sent me the photo.  The text immediately put a smile on my face and it was nice to know that he not only was thinking of me, but also took the time to let me know.  His thoughtful text inspired me to text another friend of mine -- a friend who is moving out of the country soon and whom I will miss even more than I can imagine.  She spent the day with movers at her house.  I wished that I could help her, but absent that, I sent her a text just to let her know I was thinking about her.  She replied and let me know how much she appreciated it.

Kindness makes us happy, it inspires us and we never know how many more kindnesses we set in motion by our own kindness.

The Kindness of an Early Birthday Gift

"A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present."
~ Thomas Fuller

They manage to do it every time -- and yet, I am amazed every time.  We have two friends, a married couple, who live out of state, but have a home in our community.  They are very fond of our children and are incredibly thoughtful.  For each child's birthday, they manage to buy a gift, wrap the gift and get it in the mail way ahead of the birthday.  A package arrived this week -- more than a week ahead of the birthday in question.  There are so many steps involved in making it all happen and they are busy professionals, and yet they manage to do it.  They also put a note on the package that it was not to be opened until the actual birthday.  And so the package sits... and every time I look at it, I am reminded of our friends' kindness.

The Kindness of Giving Credit

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
~ Harry S Truman

In the last week or so, I have seen colleagues share the credit with others on more than one occasion.  It is heartening to see folks giving credit where credit is due -- and the sharing earns not only gratitude from the colleague acknowledged, but also credibility and admiration for the colleague doing the sharing.  It is such a win-win and yet I still marvel when it happens.

The Kindness of Neighbors

"Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness."
~  Khalil Gibran

Not having a kitchen presents unanticipated challenges.  Today it was no ketchup -- and I have a child who eats most things with ketchup.  As she looked at one more take-out meal, she said, "We don't have ketchup" in that tone of voice that conveys a bigger problem that might at first appear.  So we did what we have never done before: we actually knocked on a neighbor's door and asked if we could "borrow" ketchup.  Of course, the answer was yes and back at home with ketchup, all was well with our world -- at least temporarily.

Kindness Amid Heavy Traffic

"Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead."
~ Charles M. Schwab

Where I live, there are many occasions when police officers facilitate heavy traffic -- school zones, special events...  I was very surprised recently when a police officer trying to keep traffic moving outside a stadium actually let one driver go the opposite way and pick up his passengers.  A few yards later, another police officer directing traffic joked with one of the drivers.  It was late in the evening on a weeknight, so I don't doubt that both officers and drivers were tired, but the good humor and kindness of the police officers made for a much more pleasant experience -- even for this observer.

The Kindness of Listening (or Letting Someone Vent)

"Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery."
~ Joyce Brothers

There are times when no one can "fix" your problem and yet... we still want to talk about it.  I was grateful to have the project coordinator at the installation company that is working on my floors listen to how hard it is to live without a kitchen -- even though we both knew that he could do nothing to speed things up.

The Kindness of a Reminder

"Example is the best precept."
~ Aesop

I recently attended a meeting on the topic of the family and I heard a speaker say that a child's education is the responsibility of her family.  Obviously.  But it got me thinking...  Am I teaching my children what I want them to learn?  So I have been thinking about the most important things that I want my children to learn and then trying to honestly assess if I am teaching them those things, especially by example.  Sometimes, there is great kindness in an important reminder.

The Kindness of Saying Yes

"A gentle heart is tied with an easy thread."
~ George Herbert

I have a friend, my steadfast friend, who is great at saying yes.  If she can do something, she readily agrees.  And once she does, she keeps her commitment.  Ever since I met her a few decades ago, she has had the same easy-going manner and willingness to accompany me on any adventure.  She is never complicated -- there is rarely a "let me see," or questions about who might be going...  And if she cannot do something, she lets you know.  I was reminded of how much I value the way she responds to invitations recently when I asked her to accompany me to a Mass, of all things.  There is real kindness in an uncomplicated response.

Kindness and No Kitchen

"Take care, be kind, be considerate of other people and other species, and be loving."
~ John Lithgow

When you don't have a kitchen -- and haven't had one for two weeks, kindnesses that are food-related are very appreciated.  On a recent day, we were blessed with kindness in abundance.

§  Knowing that our breakfast options are limited, the babysitter brought us donuts and other sweet treats.

§  A generous friend invited us to her home for the day with homemade pizza for lunch included in the offer.  And then she sent us home with just-baked cupcakes.

§  A very considerate friend not only gave us mangoes, but also cut them up as she knew that would make our lives easier.

Sure, living without a kitchen is a pain.  But enjoying the kindnesses of thoughtful friends is quite a blessing.

The Kindness of Calling... Just to Say Hello

"Standing as a witness in all things means being kind in all things, being the first to say hello, being the first to smile, being the first to make the stranger feel a part of things, being helpful, thinking of others' feelings, being inclusive."
~ Margaret D. Nadauld

The other day, a friend of mine called to say hello.  We used to see each other frequently when our children were in the same school.  But now weeks and probably months go by and we don't see each other.  She wanted to let me know that she thinks of me often.  The call came at a perfect time as these calls tend to do, and I was delighted that she had reached out.

A Kindness Superhero

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."
~ Batman

Superman may be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I just saw a teenage boy jump over a bush in his quest to be kind.  I have written about this young man before.  The son of my lovely friend, he is 14 and has impeccable manners.  These manners include opening and closing car doors for me and for everyone else.  On a recent outing with my children, I told him that he could not possibly open and close all four doors of my car.  My comment seemed to strengthen his resolve to do just that.  As we returned to my car after dinner, I saw that a car had parked close to my car on the driver's side, so I told this young man that he would not be able to open and close my door as I could not imagine how the logistics would work.  Next thing I knew -- and probably faster than a speeding bullet, this young man jumped over a bush and ran around my car to the driver's door.  And yes, he managed to open and close my car door.  In the process, he also had me doubled over laughing -- and that was another kindness I appreciated.

The Kindness of a Refrigerator Delivery

"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."
~ Humphry Davy

A woman I know has been undergoing an involuntary home construction project -- replacing a damaged floor -- for nearly two months.  For the second week in a row, she has been without the use of her kitchen.  With several children, this has proven to be a challenge.  It finally occurred to her that a small refrigerator would go a long way toward helping what can only be described as a difficult situation.  One of the gentlemen involved in her project took it upon himself to deliver a small refrigerator that was in his office to her home.  He dragged it up a flight of stairs.  Despite all the craziness of the past couple of months, this woman was incredibly touched by the refrigerator delivery.

The Kindness in a Purse... or Two

"Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love."
~ Lao Tzu

A couple of weekends ago, a good friend texted me that she was cleaning out her closet and had come across a handbag she thought I might like.  She texted me a photo of the bag and I told her that I would like it, but only if she was sure she did not want it.  She replied that she'd had it for years and never taken it out of its dust cover.  "I would love to think it might be appreciated," she added.  A couple of days later, my friend brought the handbag -- as well as a second bag -- to my house.  It is always fun to get an unexpected gift, but the best part is knowing that someone is thinking about you and what you might like.

Kindness and a Poster

"Never suppress a generous thought."
~ Camilla Eyring Kimball

My mother was working on a project for which she needed a poster board.  At lunch with a couple of friends, she mentioned that she was going to drive a distance from where she lives to buy it.  One of her lunch companions said that he had not left their community for several days and would be happy to get it for her.  He bought her the poster board as well as a couple of other things, including an easel for her to display the poster.  My mother was very glad that she did not have to drive far to get her supplies, but I think she was even happier that someone was so kind.

Kindnesses that Ease Travel

Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
~ Confucius

On a recent trip, just as I found my seat on the plane and turned around to grab my bag, a gentleman jumped out of his seat and put my rollerboard in the overhead compartment.  A few minutes later, I saw a gentleman discover that there was someone in his seat.  The other passenger had mistaken the row and sat in a row that was one ahead of his assigned seat.  The first passenger told the second one, "Don't worry, I'll sit in your seat" and did just that.  Little kindnesses, but they ease airplane travel.

Kindness Described

"The act of giving without the expectation of something in return is the true definition of kindness."
~ Unknown

The other day at dinner, my children and I were talking about qualities that we value and how we see those qualities in other people.  My son brought up one of his friends who he says exemplifies kindness.  He said:  "She always shows a bright smile, she never says bad words, and she'll move to another chair -- just for you."  Sounds like a kind person to me.

The Kindness of a Blessing

"A little bit of mercy makes the world less cold and more just."
~ Pope Francis

While traveling in Latin America, I met a priest who travels frequently to the city where I live.  Recently, he called to say that he was in town and heading to catch a flight back to his country, but just wanted to leave me a message saying hello and giving me a blessing.  The blessing made me smile and I listened to it twice.  I haven't erased it.

Kindness through the Eyes of a Child

"One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings.  The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
~ Carl Jung

As the end of the school year rolled around for my third grader, we bought small gifts for his three teachers and I asked him to write them notes thanking them for a great year.  This was his first year at a new school and it had gone incredibly well.  It was interesting to see what he treasured.

For each teacher, he wrote, "Thank you for a great year."  He followed that with:

Teacher 1:  "You were always there for me.  You made me feel positive."

Teacher 2:  "You gave me delicious mangos.  You make me laugh."

Teacher 3:  "You always greeted me with a warm smile."

Their kindnesses made for a great year.

The Kindness of the Gift of a Few Minutes

"The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern."
~ Joel Osteen

A woman I know had had a rough few days and after another long day, she had to go to an evening meeting that she was not looking forward to attending.  On her way to her car, she called a good friend whom she hoped would also be at the meeting to ask if she would be going.  "Yes," her friend replied.  "Do you want me to pick you up?"  The woman was delighted at the prospect of going with her friend, but reminded her friend that that would make her friend late.  "Who cares about being a few minutes late?" her friend said, "That's an extra five minutes I get to spend with you."  So the two women drove together to the meeting, thrilled at their unanticipated opportunity to spend a little time together.

Monday Kindnesses

"Did I offer peace today?  Did I bring a smile to someone's face?  Did I say words of healing?  Did I let go of my anger and resentment?  Did I forgive?  Did I love?  These are the real questions.  I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come."
~ Henry Nouwen

Kindness can come in a variety of ways.  On some Mondays, it can range from friends offering the use of their vacation home while your home undergoes necessary repairs to a simple text that reads, "What's up buttercup?"  It's all good -- peace, a smile, comfort.  Kindness seems to arrive when we need it most.