Kindness, Glitter and Moments of Connection

"Poverty is clearly one source of emotional suffering, but there are others, like loneliness.  A policy to reduce the loneliness of the elderly would certainly reduce suffering."
―Daniel Kahneman

As part of its community service, my daughters' school takes the students to various nursing homes and senior centers.  Today, I served as a chaperone for a holiday visit to a nursing home. 

Neither the teachers nor the two mothers who chaperoned had been on this type of visit, so we didn't know what to expect.  When we arrived, the girls set up different stations to entertain the nursing home residents.  A couple of girls painted the residents' nails.  Others made them bracelets.  And others wrote the residents' names in glue on colored paper and then sprinkled the names with glitter.

As I watched the girls and the adults interact with the seniors, I saw different levels of comfort.  A bit outside my own comfort zone, I wasn't sure what to do with myself.  Ever the food fan, I offered several of the residents cookies or cupcakes -- although their wishes had to be cleared with the staff because of their individual diets.  After serving a cupcake to one resident, I found myself looking for wipies because she had sticky hands.

Eventually, I ended up talking to a lovely 83-year old woman.  She shared stories about her life, her loves, her jobs, her grown son...  We then walked over to the table where the girls had been making the glitter names for the residents.  My new friend remarked how beautiful the glitter creations were and so I asked her if she wanted me to make her one.  Yes, she replied.  We sat down together at the table.  I wrote her name in glue, sprinkled glitter over it and decorated the paper with a Christmas tree and glue swirls that I covered in more glitter.  She was so happy and generously praised my creation.  As she took the paper from my hands carefully in hers, I felt profound kindness in her appreciation.  I was so moved by our connection and by the joy that we both seemed to find in it.

I found myself feeling a little sad when it was time to go.  I felt as though I could have talked to my new friend for a while more.

* * *

Since last year, a very generous friend of mine has been trying to get me to go with our children to play music at a nursing home.  I thought it was a nice idea, but I had not made it happen.  I called her after the visit today to tell her that I really wanted to do it.  She told me that she has always had a soft spot in her heart for the elderly and she remarked how similar they are to children.  Perhaps they are like children not only in terms of their needs, but also in terms of being able to appreciate and find joy in the simplest things, including their names in glitter and moments of connection.