Kindness, a Grandmother and a Cake

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."

~ Scott Adams

A grandmother I know lives in an apartment building.  Recently, it was the birthday of the gentleman who works at the building's front desk in the evenings.  On her way home from work, the grandmother bought a cake and a candle.  She called her grandchildren who live in the building and they all sang Happy Birthday to the building employee.  

The Kindness of Thanksgiving Veggies

"Ask yourself:  Have you been kind today?  Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world."

~ Annie Lennox

We usually go to a friend's house on Thanksgiving evening, but this year, she did not host Thanksgiving at her house  (although she did have a terrific post-Thanksgiving celebration).  On Thanksgiving morning, my friend sent me a photo of brightly colored vegetables that she was cooking for us -- even though we would not be eating at her house that day.

The Kindness of Clean-up Help

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books -- especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."

~ John Wooden

Clean-up help is always a biggie -- whether it's after a children's birthday party or a dinner or even a play date.  Additional hands make the clean up go faster and it's generally more fun.  On a recent Sunday, my family and I helped with the coffee hour at church and afterward, one of our favorite mother-daughter teams stayed to help us clean up.  And all this with triplet boys in tow.

Kindness and Another Thank You

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."

~ G.B. Stern

Years ago, I gave a friend a copy of one of my favorite books.  Unfortunately, I don't see my friend as often as I used to.  Recently, I was surprised to receive a text from her in which she shared that she was rereading the book and that she liked it even more than the first time.  My friend thanked me again.  It was nice to know that she was still enjoying the book and I appreciated hearing from her.

The Kindness of Running an Errand

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."

~ Ronald Reagan

On Thanksgiving, a widower sitting next to me at Mass shared this story:  As he was leaving Mass on a recent Sunday, there was a table outside with volunteers asking for help with a project to buy Christmas gifts for the children of prisoners.  They asked him if he wanted to participate and he wondered aloud how -- given that his wife had died less than a year before.  Another parishioner overhead him.  A widow herself, she told him that she would buy the gift for him.  A few days later, she called to say that the gift was ready.  He added that it was beautifully wrapped.    

The Kindness of Planning Good Times

"My motto is: more good times."

~ Jack Nicholson

A dear friend of mine had an impromptu post-Thanksgiving dinner at her house.  Why?  When she called an older female relative to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving, the older woman shared this simple piece of wisdom:  "You have to go looking for the good times because the bad times come on their own."  Having lost her father just two months ago, my friend knows that all too well.  So she pulled together a wonderful evening with family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"I am grateful for what I am and have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual."

~ Henry David Thoreau

I woke up this morning to this beautiful text from one of my dearest friends:  "Happy Thanksgiving.  May God give us the grace to see all the things to be thankful for..."  Amen.

Kindness and Cranberries

"If you are really thankful, what do you do?  You share."

~ W. Clement Stone

Who decides to go to the grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve?  Of course, yours truly.  One of my children and I weaved through the other last-minute shoppers, and tried to find the items we needed.  As we did that, my husband called with additional items, including cranberry sauce.  After looking twice  in the canned fruit aisle, I asked one of the grocery store employees for help, but he was not sure where it was.  And then another shopper came over and said to me, "I'm sorry, but I overheard your asking about the cranberry sauce.  It's right over here."  And she pointed to a special display.

Kindness and the Lasting Impact of a Gift

"But what doesn't die is the love we give to others.  There is no end to that."

~ Gloria Whelan

I recently spoke to a former colleague on the telephone and she asked how my children were doing.  As we were talking, I glanced at my bookshelf and saw a small scrapbook that she had given more more than 14 years ago.  She had decorated the pages, so all I had to do was adhere the photos to the pages and I had an immediate scrapbook of one of my children's first months at home.  I love the scrapbook as does the child who is featured in it.  I mentioned to my former colleague how very much we appreciate the book, and she and I marveled at how much time had gone by.  The lasting power of kindness never ceases to amaze me.

Kindness and Knitting

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
~ Winston Churchill

I was inspired by a story I saw in the news:  An 86-year-old gentleman living in an assisted-living facility learned how to knit, so that he could make caps for premature babies.  It took the gentleman several days to get the hang of knitting, but he did and managed to make a number of caps for the newborns.  He plans to continue to make caps.

Just thinking how hard it is for me to learn something new, I was awestruck by the determination and generosity of this octogenarian.

The Kindness in a Meal

"The way to anybody's heart is through a thoughtfully prepared, beautifully executed, lovingly presented meal."

~ Leo Buscaglia

On a recent Sunday evening, we drove to the house of some friends to drop off their daughter who had been out with our children.  When we arrived, the father came to our car to give us a pasta dish that he had made.  We were delighted and assured him that his dish would be lunch and dinner the next day.

"Make America Kind Again"

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people.  A nation does not need to be cruel to be tough."

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Make America Kind Again."  It's not my idea, but it is certainly a good one.  A California mom came up with the slogan several weeks before the election.  After she designed the sign, someone contacted her about creating a yard sign and now she is receiving orders for various items with the catchy slogan.

"It's not to support or oppose a candidate," the mom says.  "It's a message that kindness is something we can all agree on.  It's not about the winner or loser.  It's about what people of both parties can do to really come together and move forward."

Amen.

Kindness and a Barber Shop Quartet

"Music is a moral law.  It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything."

~ Plato

On a recent Sunday at a church event, we were treated to songs by a barber shop quartet.  The tunes immediately took me back to another time...  Saturday evenings at my grandparents' house watching the Lawrence Welk Show.  It was a beautiful thing to hear.  The men all looked to be in their late 50s or 60s and perhaps one in his 70s.  They shared that they sometimes sing at hospitals for children.  I marveled at the power of music and camaraderie to gladden hearts. 

Kindness and the Laundry

"Love your neighbor... and in doing so, do it as you love yourself!  Take up the loads that will cause your neighbor a neck pain..."

~ Israelmore Ayivor

Where I live, we share a communal laundry room.  On a recent evening, I went to the laundry room to pick up clothes that had needed extra drying.  I found both dryers empty.  When I arrived home, I saw our laundry basket with the clothes neatly folded inside.  I asked one of my children how that had happened.  A laundry fairy?  Almost: One of our neighbors had folded our laundry and brought it to our home.

Kindness and a Mother-Daughter Duo

"Good people can get you out of a thousand problems with charm and kindness."

~ Anouska Hempel

At one of my children's schools, there is a formidable mother-daughter duo.  They are mother and grandmother to a set of triplet boys.  Nearly always, they travel as a pair -- to pick up and drop off the boys, to parties and to church on Sundays.  In addition to being incredibly nice, they also happen to be very funny and I always have a great time with them.  On a recent morning, one of them discovered that my car -- with brand new tires -- had a large screw in one of the tires.  That is certainly enough to ruin one's day, but thanks to these women, my day was anything but awful.  They kindly offered to drive me to a lunch meeting.  But before, we made a pit stop at one of my favorite shops as they needed to pick something up.  Inside the store, I fell in love with a scarf and was planning to buy it for myself.  I went to the cashier to pay for the scarf only to discover that the grandmother had bought it for me as a birthday gift.  And then the daughter shared that she had bought me a  necklace I had admired.  I was overwhelmed by these women's thoughtfulness.  I greatly enjoyed the time that I spent with them -- thanks to the screw in my tire -- and as the three of us laughed in the car, I realized that I was having a pretty good day.

Kindness in a Voice

"The human voice is the organ of the soul."

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I hadn't spoken to my friend on the other side of the world in weeks.  Toward the end of a somewhat crazy day during which I had wished more than once for her presence, I texted her to ask if she could talk.  "How did you know I was thinking about you?" she immediately texted back.  We ended up talking for more than an hour and through my evening errands... through the pharmacy, to pick up dinner...  It was a longer conversation than usual and exactly what I needed on that kind of a day.  Just the sound of her voice warms my heart and lifts my spirits.

Kindness and a Major Assist

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."

~ Thomas Aquinas

You really hope that you don't have to disturb another mom at night and ask, "Do you have a car and 30 minutes?"  But on a recent evening, I did.  It seems that after hurrying from work to pick up children to take them to another activity, I managed to bring the sandwiches -- but not their musical instruments.  There was no way that I could make it back home and get them to their rehearsal on time, so I called one of my dearest mom friends and asked the question.  And she replied: "What do you need?"  Off she went to my house to pick up two violins.  She then drove over two bridges and met me at the parking lot of an urgent care center. (Just what you want to do after you have arrived comfortably back at your house after work.)  When I called my friend's husband afterward to tell him how much I appreciated it, he seemed surprised and just said, "That's what we do -- help each other out."  Yes, but that was a pretty big assist.

The Kindness of the Tribe

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

~ Richard Bach

I recently attended an awards ceremony for three women, including one I have known since high school.  Several tables at the event were filled with people this woman affectionately called her "tribe."  They ranged from her mother and the mother's friends to cousins, co-workers and friends from various stages of her life.  In accepting the award, this woman said that while her bank account might not be large, she is grateful for all the members of her tribe.  It was quite a sight -- all the people who showed up to share in her joy.

Small and Simple Kindnesses

"Sometimes, the simple things are more fun and meaningful than all the banquets in the world."

~ E. A. Bucchianeri

It's the little things... There are days when I need a pick-me-up.  And somehow on those days, unexpected kindnesses come my way.  It might be the surprise "I love you" from a teenager as she rushes off to school or someone waving me through in traffic before I even try to signal an ask.  It might be my son's suggestion that we go to our favorite dessert shop or a friend's silliness that makes me laugh.  Small and simple, but they all make me smile and lift my spirits.  

The Kindness of Military Service

"The veterans of our military services have put their lives on the line to protect the freedoms that we enjoy.  They have dedicated their lives to their country and deserve to be recognized for their commitment."

~ Judd Gregg

At an early morning service commemorating Veterans' Day this week, I heard a veteran talk about serving in the Vietnam War.  Soft-spoken and modest, he said what most of us are fortunate not to have experienced:  "war is hell."  After the ceremony, he shared with a few of us that he had won a Bronze Star and other honors for flying a number of missions.  Those of us who are blessed to live in peace enjoy it thanks to the sacrifice of so many veterans, current members of the military, and all of their families.  We owe them a debt of gratitude for their bravery, service and kindness.  

Kindness and Dessert

"Always find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life."

~ Roy T. Bennett

My lovely friend called me on a recent evening to see if I was home.  She wanted to drop off a piece -- it turned out to be a very large piece -- of one of my all-time favorite desserts.  Called a Pavlova, this wonderful concoction has a crunchy meringue base, dulce de leche and sliced strawberries.  My very thoughtful friend had bought a large Pavlova and wanted to share it.  My family and I were thrilled.

Kindness and Liquid Soap

"If we all do one random act of kindness daily, we just might set the world in the right direction."

~ Martin Kornfeld

During a recent out-of-town business meeting, I had a conversation with two slightly older colleagues.  They were talking about a liquid soap that increased in popularity a few decades ago.  I had never heard of it, but I listened as they extolled its virtues.  On the last day of our meeting as we were preparing to each leave for our home cities, one of the two colleagues gave me a small bottle of the soap -- complete with the top taped so that it would not leak in transit.

Kindness and Elections

"Don't let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."

~ Dalai Lama

During this crazy election season, I have wondered whether it is possible to run for office, not to mention win, without saying anything unkind about your opponent.  Regardless, and whatever ends up being the result, kindness toward each other is definitely the way to move forward.

The Kindness of Making It Easy to Ask

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."

~ Epicurus

Ah, my steadfast friend...  I recently needed help getting my children to an evening activity as I had a meeting at the same time.  I must admit that I did not hesitate to call my steadfast friend.  She immediately agreed to take my children to their activity and made me feel that it was not a bother.  Along the way, she texted me to let me know that they were getting a snack and then that she had dropped them off.  I found out later that the "snack" was actually a meal at a restaurant.  When I called my friend to thank her, she said, "It was not a big deal."  It was to me.

Kindness and a Saint's Biography

“Never suppress a generous thought.”

― Camilla Eyring Kimball

I am blessed with wonderful work colleagues.  Recently, I was visiting our headquarters in another city and saw one of my colleagues.  He asked me to visit him in his cubicle and then gave me a book – the biography of a new saint.  What he could not have known was that the future saint was my university commencement speaker.  Sometimes when people do nice things, they cannot imagine that they are being even more thoughtful than they know.

The Kindness of Agreeing to an Adventure

“Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale.”

~ Elsa Schiaparelli

During a recent out-of-town business meeting, I really wanted to try a restaurant that a friend from home had recommended, so I asked a couple of colleagues if they would for join me for a gastronomical adventure.  Graciously, they agreed.  The restaurant was a bit of a distance from the hotel at which we were staying, but my colleagues did not flinch.  We ended up going to a part of town that we had never visited and having an amazing meal.  The food was delicious, but I enjoyed the company just as much.

The Kindness of an Uber Alternative

"Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity."

~ José Martí

On a recent Saturday evening, I met a group of friends at a restaurant to celebrate a birthday.  My husband was going to pick me up at the end of the meal, but when everyone was ready to go, he was still at a distance from the restaurant.  I told him to worry that I would call Uber.  But friends of mine, a married couple, told me that they would take me home – even though it was half an hour out of the way and it was already late.  I enjoyed visiting with them on the ride to my house and greatly appreciated their generosity.

Kindness and Chocolate

“Chocolate is one of the world's most beloved discoveries, and when we need a quick boost of energy and endorphins, chocolate is the go-to treat.”

~ Marcus Samuelsson

I recently spent several days with a group of colleagues at a series of business meetings.  At the end of a long day of meetings, one of my co-workers pulled out two boxes of specialty chocolate bars that he had brought to share with us. It was funny to see a group of adults delight in choosing from a variety of somewhat-exotic flavors. We were quite thrilled about our special treat.  Our generous colleague, who has shared kindnesses with us in the past, put smiles on more than a dozen tired faces.

The Kindness of Responding with Love

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

~ Mother Teresa

Can you imagine if we responded to each other with love?  On a recent trip, I felt blessed by a series of kindnesses from strangers – the gentleman who let me on the plane ahead of him even though it was a very full flight, the other one who pulled my suitcase out of the overhead compartment (which was two rows behind my seat) once we landed …  Those strangers had a choice – to be kind to me or not.  And that got me thinking about the many choices and opportunities we face every day.  I wondered what it would be like to respond with love.  I decided to try it for a day.  As you might imagine, I failed pretty miserably pretty quickly, but I think it was worthwhile nonetheless.  It definitely made me more aware of how I respond to opportunities – and it also made me quieter.    

Kindness and Compliments

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.”

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I recently attended an early morning activity at my son’s school.  Because I was in a hurry, I had not had enough time to dry my hair, so I picked it up in a clip – not what I consider my best look.  A mom I ran into complimented me on how I looked.  “Really?” I asked.  “Really,” she said.  It was an immediate pick-me-up as anyone who has received a compliment when she doesn’t think she is looking her best knows.  It reminded me that a few days earlier, I had complimented another mother I know (who always looks fabulous) on a top she was wearing. I was surprised to hear her say, “Really?  I’m glad you are telling me that because I was unsure of it.”  Isn’t it amazing how easily we can lift each other’s spirits and make each other feel just a little more confident?