Kindness, Memories and the New Year

"Life is short,

And we do not have much time

to gladden the hearts of those who

make the journey with us.

So... be swift to love,

and make haste to be kind."

~ Henri Frederic Amiel

Earlier today, I heard someone talking about his nostalgia for the wonderful moments of the year gone by.  My best memories are generally those where kindness has played a role.  As we move into a new year, let us find ways to gladden the hearts of those on this journey with us.

Kindness and Shopping

"Sharing is good, and with digital technology, sharing is easy."

~ Richard Stallman

I have a friend who is a great shopper -- great in the sense that she finds the best prices for items that she and her family need.  A bonus of her savvy shopping is that she graciously shares those finds.  And frequently she will call me from a store to ask if I need whatever she is buying.  Most recently, she was on holiday travel and texted me to ask if I needed some items that she was purchasing -- I did.  And so she bought them for me.

The Kindness of Spreading Good Cheer

"The man who radiates good cheer, who makes life happier wherever he meets it, is always a man of vision and faith."

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

My mom friend visiting in Boston wrote to share that they have decided that whenever they go to a coffee shop, they will look for someone who might need a coffee and a bagel, and buy it for that person.  Nothing like spreading a little good cheer...

The Kindness of Recognizing Humanity

"Human life has meaning only to that degree and as long as it is lived in the service of humanity."

~ Wole Soyinka

A gentleman I have known very well for more than 20 years recently surprised me when he shared that he says hello to everyone -- whether he knows them or not.  Really?  I asked him why.  "I want to recognize the humanity of each person," he said.  This is the same gentleman who keeps 15-20 umbrellas in his car to give to people on the street when it rains.  He was quick to tell me -- at least twice -- that the umbrella idea is not original and that he picked it up from someone he knows.

Kindness on a Boston Street

"Christmas is a tonic for our souls.  It moves us to think of others rather than of ourselves.  It directs our thoughts to giving."

~ B.C. Forbes

It was not a super cold December morning in Boston, but cold enough for a 10-year-old Florida boy visiting with his family.  He and his father were en route to a Dunkin' Donuts for much-needed coffee when the boy saw a homeless gentleman.  Without any encouragement from his father, the boy went up to the gentleman on the street and asked him if he wanted anything from the donut shop.  The gentleman said he would appreciate coffee and then the boy asked if he would like a bagel or a donut.  The boy went inside and returned with coffee and a bagel for the homeless gentleman.  When his mother heard the story, said she had "tears of joy inside."

Kindness on Christmas Morning

"As we give presents at Christmas, we need to recognize that sharing our time and ourselves is such an important part of giving."

~ Gordon B. Hinkley

One of the best gifts we received on Christmas morning came as we were opening presents under the tree.  Our faraway friends called us via FaceTime and we were able to share our Christmas morning with them for a few precious minutes.  As an old long-distance telephone slogan used to say, it was "the next best thing to being there."

The Kindness of Sharing Good Cheer

"This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone."

~ Taylor Caldwell

'Twas a few nights before Christmas

And all through the house

Everyone was still sleeping

Except a bleary-eyed Mom.

Before dawn, she awoke

and through sleepy eyes,

got up to wrap more gifts

for the teachers' surprise.

It was dark and she was tired

And she wondered

how she would get it all done.

When all of a sudden,

a small light caught her eye.

She looked at her cell phone and saw

a text ready to read

from her other-side-of-the-world friend,

14 hours ahead.

She read her friend's message

And was delighted to feel

A smile spread across her face

And a sense of good cheer.

Merry Christmas to all!

And to all a good night.

Kindness, Friends and Christmas

"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."

~ Dr. Seuss

It's a chicken and egg kind of thing...  I'm not sure whether Christmas makes us appreciate our friends more or whether the gift of friendship makes it feel like Christmas.  Either way, Christmas and friendship feel very connected to me.  On a recent evening, my children had a couple of friends over.  The friends went with us to my mother's house to help decorate her tree.  They came back to our home and sang songs, and then they proceeded to our kitchen to make slime (which somehow has become very popular).  A few minutes later, I overhead one of the friends say:  "This is true friendship: Sitting in someone's kitchen making slime."  It does feels like Christmas.

Christmas Kindness Abounds

"The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of love and of generosity and of goodness.  It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world's busy life and become more interested in people than in things."

~ Thomas S. Monson

With all the last-minute hurry scurry on the street, it is refreshing to hear stories of kindness.  Last evening, a friend shared that as she hunted for a parking space, she saw a driver backing out and she made way for him.  The space was a valet space, but the gentleman from the valet service insisted that she park there as she had been so helpful.  I also heard from my friend in Australia about kindness on a bus in Sydney:  A mother with two toddlers and an infant was on the bus and getting ready to get out at her stop.  An older woman asked the mother if she could help her unload her cargo.  The older woman led the toddlers off the bus while the mother maneuvered the infant in the stroller.  Kindness certainly makes it feel like Christmas!

The Kindness of Understanding What Matters to Someone

"Family is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things that matter."

~ G.K. Chesterton

Today would have been my grandfather's 96th birthday.  My grandfather was a very special person in our lives and he figures prominently in most of my childhood memories.  I still remember the feel of his hand as I held it walking through parking lots... He always made me feel safe and loved.  My grandfather also took me to the library and taught me about politics.  Christmas seemed to begin on his birthday every year -- even when I was away at college.  It was always important to be home by December 22nd.  I mentioned my grandfather's birthday to my son as I drove him to school this morning.  My son, who is named in part after my grandfather, surprised me by singing Happy Birthday to his great-grandfather.  I'm not sure whether I got teary because I still miss my grandfather or because I was so touched by my son's appreciating something so important to me.

Kindness and Christmas Magic

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."

~ Norman Vincent Peale

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a small Christmas tree at the grocery store.  It's a very small tree, kind of like a Charlie Brown tree -- small and scrawny.  I put it outside our front door and had not quite decided on a permanent place for it.  When I arrived home recently, I found that someone had decorated it complete with a gold bow at the top!

Kindness and Mom Friends

"Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated."

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

There are a million moments each year when I am grateful for my mom friends and the end-of-year rush is no exception.  There is the mother who offers to pick up the slack for you on a classroom project because she knows you are swamped.  There is the mom who calls your child on her birthday and has a long conversation with her.  There is the mom who calls to help you sort out friend drama.  And there are all the other mom friends who are there to accompany you every step of this precious parenting journey.  Knowing they are just a text or call away makes all the difference.

'Tis the Season for Kindness

"For me, I think everybody with half a heart tries to do their best to do their part of good during the holiday season."

~ Darren Criss

On a recent evening, I ran into a mom friend at our local CVS.  Both of us were on last-minute scrambles for various season-related items... gift tags (would you believe CVS ran out?) and small cellophane bags for goodies (what was I thinking?).  We both walked around in a sort of holiday-induced stupor searching in vain for our items.  My mom friend said that she had leftover small gift bags from her daughter's birthday that she could give me.  I offered gift tags that I was sure I had at home.  

Kindness and a Stranger

"Pour God's love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles."

~ Shannon Adler

A woman I know was at a CVS, waiting for a cashier to open the register.  As the cashier made it to the register, another woman walked up to the register and proceeded to pay for her item.  The woman at the register suddenly realized that the first woman had been waiting.  She apologized to the first woman, who told her not to worry and to just go ahead and pay for her item.

The Kindness of a Reminder

"Rejoice always.  Pray without ceasing.  In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

On a recent morning, I was feeling a little overwhelmed -- a week filled with work travel, an event, family milestones...  A friend of mine texted me and reminded me of the calming influence of prayer.  

The Kindness of Helping Hands

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."

~ John Wooden

A woman I know was facing a day with a long to-do list.  As she began to make her way through it, two people unexpectedly reached out to help.  An hour into her day, life had already become more manageable.

Kindness, Soap and Memories

"Some memories are unforgettable, remaining ever vivid and heartwarming!"

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

My grandfather used to buy soaps for my grandmother.  She had sensitive skin and used special soaps -- I can still see them... pink bars individually wrapped in black paper with flowery yellow lettering.  On Saturday afternoons, I would accompany my grandfather on errands and frequently a visit to the pharmacy that carried the soaps was on our list.  Fast forward several decades:  My husband buys me a special brand of soap that I like.  The store where we used to buy the soaps doesn't always have them, so he puts in a special order.  I love the soaps and greatly appreciate his thoughtfulness, which reminds me of my grandparents.

Kindness and Positive Feedback

"We all need people who will give us feedback.  That's how we improve."

~ Bill Gates

I have a friend who also is a professional colleague.  Recently, she attended a meeting that I had organized.  She called me after the meeting to tell me how much she enjoyed it and how she truly loves being involved with the organization. 

Kindness and the Grumpy Gentleman

"Am I grumpy?  I might be.  But I think maybe sometimes it's misinterpreted."

~ Harrison Ford

Getting ready to board a recent flight, I noticed an older gentleman who was very eager to get on the airplane.  He seemed bothered by having to wait.  Surprise -- when I made it on board, it turned out that he was my seatmate.  I apologized for his having to get up, so that I could get into my seat by the window.  He didn't respond; he just seemed bothered by my presence.  During the flight, he harrumphed as another gentleman spoke loudly and in generally just seemed grumpy.  In my mind, my seatmate became Grumpy Man.  At one point, when I had fallen asleep, I felt his arm across me as he lowered the window shade.  He told me the light was bothering him.  (For my part, I like to see what is going on outside, which is why I choose a window seat.)  Once we landed, he muttered under his breath about the same gentleman who was now talking quite loudly on his mobile phone.  But Grumpy Man surprised me.  He pulled out his two bags from the overhead compartment, and then without a word, pulled mine out and set it in front of me.  

Kindness and a Speaker

“Because that’s what kindness is.  It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can.”

~ Andrew Iskander

I recently was at a business meeting when the gentleman presenting tried clearing his throat a couple of times; he seemed to have something caught in his throat.  Within seconds, two of the participants handed him cups of water.  “That’s very kind,” he said, gratefully drank the water and carried on.

The Kindness of Christmas Cheer… at the Airport

“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting.  It is happiness because we see joy in people.  It is forgetting self and finding time for others.  It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values.”

~ Thomas S. Monson

A woman I know recently had to travel for work – and really didn’t want to.  It was over the weekend during the holiday season and she had a whole host of other reasons why she did not want to travel.  She arrived at the airport with the grumpiness factor at an all-time high.  She asked if upgrades were available – no, full flight.  And then as she waited at the gate, one of the airline gate employees, sporting a colorful necklace of oversized plastic holiday lights, took out a guiro, a Latin American percussion instrument, and proceeded to play it and sing Christmas songs.  Madame Grumpy burst out laughing.  Minutes later as she sat on the plane, the airline employee once again walked up and down the aisle playing the funny little instrument and singing, “I Wanna Wish You a Merry Christmas.”  It was impossible not to smile and the joy of the season.

The Kindness of a Ride

"Be a little kinder than you have to."

~ E. Lockhart

On a recent weekend, my children were participating in a competition that was at quite a distance from our house.  A mom friend invited us to drive to her house and then she would drive the longer distance.  It was not only a generous thing of her to do, but also much more fun for both my children and me.

Kindness and Peace of Mind

"The greatest gift we give each other is peace of mind."

~ MM

A mother who was picking up my daughter as well as hers texted me on a recent evening:  "I'll text you when the girls are with me for your peace of mind."  Her thoughtful text reminded me of a gift tag that one of my dearest friends once gave me with the quote above.  I keep that tag in my agenda where I can see it every day.  It reminds me of my friend, who is living very far away these days, and it reminds me to give others peace of mind whenever I can.  It truly is a great gift.

The Kindness of the Next Best Thing

"Never suppress a generous thought."

~ Camilla Eyring Kimball

My son recently went on a school field trip.  When they asked for chaperone volunteers, I volunteered -- I know that my field trip days are numbered (the children are growing up faster than I could ever have imagined.)  Unfortunately, I did not get chosen as they selected two parents who have not chaperoned before.  Thankfully, my son is old enough to understand this.  I, on the other hand, was a little sad...  Again, I know my days of field trip chaperoning will be over in a few months.  And then midway through the day, I was pleasantly and unexpectedly surprised with a photo that the teacher thoughtfully sent of my son at the museum.  Sometimes the next best thing is still priceless.

The Kindness of Sharing Experiences

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures.  For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

~ Khalil Gibran

For me, one of the best things about technology -- and specifically the ability to send photos and messages immediately through our mobile phones -- is that it enables us to share experiences with friends and family.  I love sending and receiving photos from friends as it enables us to get a sense of what the other is doing in a very vivid way.  On the same evening that I shared photos of my family members dressed up in costume for a party, a friend shared a cute comment that her son had made and a former colleague wrote to me about his experiences presenting at a conference in Africa.  I truly appreciate my friends' sharing their lives with me.

Kindness and a Ride Home

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are her for I don't know."

~ W. H. Auden

On a recent afternoon, a mother I know was involved in an event that ran longer than she anticipated, which meant that she would be late to pick up her son at school.  She called her husband, but he was unavailable.  Another mother at the event told the mother that her babysitter could pick up the child.  Calls were made to the school, a map with directions to the house was texted to the babysitter and the mother breathed a sigh of relief.

Kindness and Magic Bars

"Kindness is the touch of heaven, a reminder of the covenant of the unseen."

~ Mark Anthony

I was in my kitchen recently after making another batch of "magic bars."  My son really likes them, but this was my second attempt in as many weeks and I just wasn't getting it right.  As I washed the pan in the sink, I remembered the first time I tasted the delicious cookie bars.  A colleague of mine at work made me a batch for Christmas and gave it to me in a beautiful antique cookie tin.  That was 26 years ago...  Kindness has staying power.

The Kindness of a Polite and Generous Refusal

"Sometimes 'no' is the kindest word."

~ Vironika Tugaleva

On a recent Sunday, we attended the coffee hour after church services.  I went into the kitchen toward the end to help the woman who had hosted clean up.  Thank you, but no, she said.  And with a smile, she told me to go and enjoy the rest of the day with my family.

The Kindness of Raising a Young Man of Character

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."

~ Jackie Kennedy

I recently took a group of teenagers to a school dance.  The girls were accompanied by a remarkable young man.  You could call him a Super Young Man.  (Yes, he once jumped over a bush to open my car door.)  This young man is incredibly polite and opening car doors is just one of the many habits that he has.  On our way to the dance, I asked him about a movie I was going to watch as I figured I would be arriving a few minutes late.  He pulled up a summary of the movie on his phone to tell me about the beginning.  And then when I dropped off the group at the school, I watched this young man shake the hand of the school principal as he entered the dance.  As I drove away from the school, I realized that I felt so much better about leaving my daughters and their friends at the dance given that this young man was with them.  

The Kindness of Checking In on Each Other

"Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community."

~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

Something unusual happened in the quiet community where we live.  An armed man broke into a house, tied up the person inside and ransacked the home.  The schools in our community were on lock down and the police were urging people to stay home while they looked for the suspect.  Before I even heard the news, I received a call from my brother wanting to know where I and my children were.  A series of calls and texts followed between and among people, most within the community as well as some from other places who had heard the news.  By day's end, the police had not found the burglar, but we were reminded of our sense of community.

Kindness and Bananas

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart."

~ Cesar Chavez

The other day, I was driving around between errands and picking up children.  As I drove to pick up one of my children's friends, I realized that I had not eaten much and it was getting late in the day.  I rummaged through my purse and found a Ziploc bag about a quarter-filled with Cheerios.  Not enough, but...  When I called the mother of the child I was picking up to tell her I was almost there, she asked me if I wanted a couple of bananas from one of her trees.  I was thrilled.