The Challenge of Love -- Kindness

“Even a little child can scatter flowers, to scent the throne room with their fragrance; even a little child can sing, in its shrill treble, the great canticle of Love.  That will be my life: to scatter flowers – to miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word, always doing the tiniest thing right, and doing it for love.”

~ St. Therese of Lisieux

Today is the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux.  Therese’s legacy to us is her Little Way – she was determined to do even the smallest things with love.  This included, for example, trying to find the best in annoying people and attempting to be kind when it would be easier not to be.

In every moment, we have the opportunity to respond in love – to the person in front of us, to the situation, to our own reactions…  What would our lives be like if we decided to show love in every situation?  Or even in most of them?  That would be the ultimate in kindness. 

The Kindness of an Offered Seat

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

A mom friend of mine was traveling with her two children but without her husband.  The two children were seated together with a young woman next to them.  One of the children was visibly unhappy to be sitting without her mother.  The young woman noticed and offered her seat to my mom friend, so that the mom could sit with her children.  It may have been a minor inconvenience to the young woman, but for my friend and her daughter, the generous gesture went a long way toward calming frayed nerves.

Kindness, Joy and Connection

“Joy is prayer; joy is strength; joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”

~ Mother Teresa

A mom I know was on vacation and in her hotel room with her two children when the housekeeper knocked on the door.  The mother answered the door and before she could say anything, the housekeeper said, “I speak very little English – I speak French.”  The mother dusted off her college French and told the housekeeper that she could speak a little French.  The housekeeper gave her a huge smile and a double high five. They spoke in French as they changed out the towels and emptied the trash cans.  The housekeeper shared that she had come from West Africa just a few months before with her four children.  She showed the other mother photos of her children and her husband, who had arrived in the U.S. several years earlier.  The mother introduced her two children to the housekeeper and the children greeted the housekeeper in French.  Before she left, the housekeeper double high-fived the mom again and they shared a hug.  The mom thought it was a great start to her day and I imagine the housekeeper did, too.

Kindness at Starbuck’s

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Due to an unexpected bridge closing, I found myself unable to get to my desk and so I opted to charge my phone and regroup at a Starbuck’s.  It was very crowded when I arrived and it was not easy to find an available electrical outlet.  I finally found one and asked a young man sitting closer to it that I was if he would mind plugging in my phone.  Not at all, he said with a smile, and then offered to move over, so that I could have a seat.

Kindness and an Opened Door

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

The other day I was running to my car in the rain.  My passenger had made it to the car before me and was already in the front seat.  As I approached my car, she opened the driver's side door so that I could get in easier.  Even the smallest kindness matters.

The Kindness of an Extra Dessert

“Unless generosity of spirit prevails among men, there can never be upon earth an ideal life.”

~  Orison Swett Marden

The other day, I had lunch at a restaurant with a small group of family and friends to celebrate a birthday.  The food was delicious and we had all eaten more than we intended, so when it was time for dessert, we decided to order a piece of pie to share.  In addition to the pie, the server brought a piece of cake courtesy of the owner, who said that one dessert was not enough for all of us.

Birthday Kindness

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A teenager I know was having a birthday.  Her younger brother decided that he would help decorate, so he made paper garland and a big Happy Birthday sign.  He also made copies of a photo of his sister’s face and placed them around their home.

Kindness in the Air

“You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give.”

~ Patti LaBelle

A woman I know is not a very good traveler – by air, that is.  Flying on a good day makes her nervous.  A bad flight is a problem.  Recently, after a couple of days of daily flights, she was on a rough one.  Thankfully, she was sitting next to a very nice older woman, a neurologist, who talked to her calmly, and guided her through breathing and meditation.

The Kindness of an Ask

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An older woman I know asked me to make a strata – a casserole-type dish – for a special event at church.  Not being much of a cook, I was a bit nervous about her request, but I told her that if she gave me a simple recipe, I would do it.  She sent me a recipe that fortunately did not include too many ingredients.  The day before I needed to produce the strata, she texted me to ask if I had any questions.  No – because at that point I had not even started.  When I finally began to make the dish, I did have questions, but it was too late to call her, so I just did what made the most sense.  The next day, I showed up with my strata, hoping that it would turn out close to what she was expecting.  She oohed and aahed over my dish and told me that mine had turned out better than hers.  Impossible, I know, but she did get me to do something that I did not think I could do.

Kindness and T.H.I.N.K.

“Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years.”

~  Joseph B. Wirthlin

The other day, someone shared with me the concept of T.H.I.N.K.  Before we speak, we should ask ourselves the following about what we are going to share:

T – Is it true?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it inspiring? Or will it improve on the silence?

N – Is it necessary?

K – Is it kind?

If we apply this, it definitely cuts down on what we say.  And as I realized recently when I stopped myself from making a gratuitous comment, that might not be a bad thing.

Kindness at the Airport

“I always say that kindness is the greatest beauty you can have.”

~ Andie MacDowell

I recently was making my way through a familiar airport, but I exited the train that takes passengers between terminals at the wrong spot and got a bit turned around.  I asked an airport employee who was pushing an empty wheelchair how to get to where I was going.  “Come with me,” she said and led me back onto the train.  Once we arrived at the main terminal, she walked with me and then pointed me in the right direction.  And along the way, we had a pleasant conversation.

The Kindness of a Smile

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”

~  William Arthur Ward

The other day as I was walking through an airport terminal, a gentleman walking toward me smiled at me.  I smiled back.  And kept smiling.

Late-Night Kindness at the Hotel

“Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time.”

~ Ron Hall

I recently found myself checking into a hotel after midnight with a couple of colleagues after a very long day of meetings and travel.  One of my colleagues asked the gentleman at the front desk if there was somewhere to get a Diet Coke.  The gentleman said that he would get her one from the employee vending machine – the only place to get one at that hour.  I then asked if the vending machine had water. He said no, but he went to the employee refrigerator and gave me a cold water bottle.

Early Morning Kindness on the Road

“Pour God’s love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Whenever I travel, I end up writing about kindnesses on the road.  I think the reason that I find them so meaningful is that when we travel alone, we are always with strangers and never at home in the way that we are with family and close friends.  Sometimes those random interactions with strangers give us the connection to others we all need.

As I was boarding a recent flight, a gentleman behind me helped stow my bag in the overhead.  It turned out that he was sitting next to me.  Before the flight took off, I saw him unbuckle his seat belt and wondered what he was doing.  He stood up to help a woman a couple of rows ahead with her luggage.  Not surprisingly, when we landed, this same gentleman pulled my bag out of the overhead and then placed my smaller bag on top of it.  As the passengers were deplaning, I let a boy of about 8 go in front of me.  He turned around with a big smile and thanked me.  Again, I was surprised, but happy to encounter so much kindness before 9 a.m.

Kindness and a Yearbook Project

“Do all the good you can.”

~ John Wesley

I recently spoke to a friend who is very involved in his former high school.  His involvement includes raising money for the school, organizing events, mentoring students and more.  However, one project with which he has been involved really caught my attention.  He and a handful of other alumni decided to collect as many yearbooks from the school as possible, scan them and make them available to the school’s alumni online.  His alma mater had its roots in Cuba, so they have located many of those yearbooks – all more than 50 years old.  This project has enabled people to find not only themselves, but also parents, uncles and grandparents.  Just a couple of weeks ago, an alumnus traveling in Scotland met a woman whose father had graduated from the school in Cuba.  With a few clicks on his phone, the alumnus was able to pull up a yearbook from nearly 80 years ago and show it to this woman in Scotland.  I have no doubt that there are more stories like that – made possible by a small group of determined men who could not foresee the good that their effort would do.

Happy Fathers’ Day!

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.”

~ John Wooden

So much kindness to appreciate on Fathers’ Day.  A friend who lost her father years ago and her uncle this week posted a photo of the two brothers, doctors both, on social media.  At her uncle’s funeral this week, she recalled how her uncle had taken on even more of a paternal role within the family after her father’s passing.  My childhood friends remembered our fathers in our group chat.  Our fathers are all gone now, but the memories and the kindnesses remain.  Thanks to the fathers, the grandfathers, the uncles and all the other men who have brought kindness and so much more into our lives.  Always in our hearts.

Kindness and Photos

“Photography to me is catching a moment which is passing, and which is true.”

~  Jacques-Henri Lartigue

The other day, someone mentioned to me that no one prints out photos anymore.  I thought about that as one of my children shared a beautiful birthday card that a friend had given her.  My daughter's friend had tucked several small photos of the two of them inside the card.  The thoughtfulness made my daughter very happy.

The Kindness of a Weekend Invite

“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.”

~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

One of my childhood friends lives in another city.  She recently invited our group of friends from elementary school for a weekend at her home.  Members of our small group of friends are coming from across the country and places in between to spend a couple of days with old friends.

Kindness and a Mentor

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

~  Henry Adams

Yesterday was a friend of mine’s birthday.  She would have been 110 years old, but she died a number of years ago.  This friend was one of my high school teachers and a very important mentor.  She taught me many things, and was a constant and long-time source of support and encouragement.  Long after I left high school, I called her when things got tough.  And she was always there.  I think of her often and always on her birthday.

Kindness and a Local Shop

“There is a spiritual aspect to our lives – when we give, we receive – when a business does something good for somebody, that somebody feels good about them!”

~  Ben Cohen

There is a small shop close to where I live that carries a variety of items from gifts to stationery.  A few weeks earlier, I had seen a scarf that I really liked, but I did not buy it.  I stopped by the shop last week to buy something else and looked for the scarf.  Not seeing it, I asked if they had any more.  No, they told me – they had sold out pretty quickly.  A couple of days ago, I received a call from one of the saleswomen, who told me that she had found the scarf I liked and was holding it for me.