The Kindness of Reaching Across Silence

"In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence in not understood."
― Henry David Thoreau

A woman I know wanted to move forward with a couple of projects in her life, but had realized that she was stuck.  One day, she had what she thought was the very bright idea of reaching out via e-mail to a former study partner to talk about moving forward.  Now living across the Atlantic, the study partner suggested that they use Skype to communicate.  Not sure how to make that work, the woman I know did not respond and once again felt stuck.  Before she could decide what to tell her former study partner, her study partner wrote her again to wish her a "happy spring" and to say that she was sorry that the use of Skype might have gotten in the way of their reconnecting.  The study partner went on to suggest a phone call, which delighted the woman I know. 

There is kindness in understanding a silence and then reaching across it to connect with someone who needs you.

The Kindness of Shared Prayers

"May the angels lead you into paradise..."
― In Paradisum

Earlier today, I received an e-mail from a woman who is part of a retreat group in which I participate.  She wrote to tell the members of our group that a woman who had served in retreats with us was losing her battle with cancer, and asked for our prayers.  Various members of the group responded that they were praying.  Another friend called me to share her surprise and sadness at the news.  I have no doubt that all of us who received that e-mail today said prayers.  I prayed for the courageous woman who served with us on retreat last May and gave thanks for having known her.  There was comfort and kindness in the shared prayers of the group.

The Kindness of Good Company

"My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."
― Jane Austen

A gentleman I know spent most of a Saturday speaking at a workshop, a work-related, community service thing.  After talking for most of eight hours, he was pretty tired. Nonetheless, that evening, the gentleman found himself at a gala, sitting next to a very friendly octogenarian who seemed in need of company.  The gentleman spent the next couple of hours talking with her, sharing stories and making her laugh.

Kindness Among Little Boys

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."
―Khalil Gibran

A little boy we know had a playground accident a couple of weeks ago.  He knocked out his front teeth and had to have surgery.  Because of this, he is not supposed to talk for six weeks and so he walks around with a small pad and pencil with which to communicate.  At a school Mass, the little boy left his pad behind in a pew.  Another boy found it and asked his mother to get it to the little boy who needed it. 

Kindness at the Mall

"The marvels of daily life are exciting; no movie director can arrange the unexpected that you find in the street."
― Robert Doisneau

I was recently at a large chain department store purchasing several pieces of clothing for my children.  We could not find the correct size in one of the dresses we were buying, so the store clerk said that she could place the order on-line for me.  As she input the information, she told me that I should buy the other dress (the one that we had in the store) on-line, too. Why? I asked her.  She told me that shipping would be free if the total price was more than a certain amount.  I thanked her and told her to go ahead and place the order for both dresses.  When she gave me the total, it was less than I anticipated.  She also had put in a 20 percent off coupon. 

Surprise Kindness

"Society is always taken by surprise at any new example of common sense."
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Earlier tonight, I was on my way to a birthday dinner for a very special friend when I realized that I would not make it on time.  Although I had allotted twice the usual travel time, a sporting event in my town paralyzed traffic and it still was not enough.  After calling my friend to let him know that I would be late, I called the restaurant and explained the situation to the hostess.  She told me that he had arrived and I asked her to offer him something to drink and that I would be there as soon as I could.  A few minutes later, the hostess called me back (from the caller ID).  She said that she had mistakenly told me that my friend had arrived, but that it turns out he had not.  She wanted me to know, so that I would not feel badly about being late.  Very surprised, I thanked her for her kindness.

The Kindness of Happy People

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
― Marcel Proust

I have wondered why we love seeing and spending time with certain people -- people who make us happy, who lift our spirits.  Yesterday, I read about a theory that makes sense.  Former Harvard researcher and author Shawn Achor says that because we mirror one another, if you smile and come across as positive, the other person will probably follow suit.  So maybe that's what it is, at least in part.  Happy people make us happy just by being who they are.