Reflections on Kindness at Year End

"I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now.  Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
~ Etienne de Grellet

As the year draws to a close -- much faster than any of us can believe, I am grateful for the many kindnesses that have come my way:  the generous and thoughtful kindnesses of friends and family, and the random kindnesses from strangers.  All of it has enriched my life tremendously.

I wish you a new year filled with kindness as well as health and peace, joy and love.

The Kindness of a Cup of Tea

"Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things."
~ Chaim Potok

I have a lovely friend whose manners and graciousness are not only kind, but also harken back to another era -- a kinder, gentler, slower time.  The other day, my children went to her home for a play date.  We chatted when I dropped them off and when I went to pick them up, she invited me to join her for a cup of tea.  I can't remember the last time I sat for tea or coffee at someone's house.  Life sometimes gets too crazy busy.  But the holidays is a perfect time to slow it down, to let kindness lead the way to rambling conversations over tea with a friend at her kitchen table.

The Kindness of the Thoughtful Host

"What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest?"
~ Aeschylus

During the holidays, we were invited to dinner at the home of some dear friends who are always incredibly thoughtful.  I was especially appreciative that one of the hosts, a fantastic cook and baker, remembered that I cannot eat a certain combination of foods.  He made some delicious hors d'oeuvres and made sure to leave off one of the ingredients, so that I could eat the savory dish.  I was thinking about how kind he was when I remembered the beautiful cake that he made and decorated for one of my daughters' birthdays a couple of years ago.  Being at these friends' house always feels like being home.

Ever-Present Kindness

"Do something wonderful, people may imitate it."
~ Albert Schweitzer

I have a very special friend who is one of the most thoughtful and kind people I know.  Last Christmas, we went to her house on Christmas Day and our two families exchanged gifts.  This year, they went out of town for Christmas, so I figured we would exchange gifts when they returned.  But my friend, ever several steps ahead, gave me a beautiful plant and a gift bag full of Christmas treats before she left.  When we opened the bag on Christmas morning, we found books and favorite holiday goodies.  During her vacation, my friend has texted me most days.  She asks me what I am doing, says that she hopes that I am relaxing and sends me photos.  Although she is thousands of miles away, my friend's kindness is ever-present.

The Kindness of a Young Man

"Kind words do not cost much.  Yet they accomplish much."
~ Blaise Pascal

Several weeks ago, a group of us went to what used to be our high school hangout (back then, ID -- fake or otherwise -- required).  But now it seemed to have become somewhat family friendly and we had a great time dancing the night away with our children.  So I decided that it would be a nice thing to do one evening during the holidays.  However, I did not take into account that because it was the holidays, there would be many college students at home and so the place I imagined would be great for dancing with the children turned out to be frat party Animal House-like.  After eating, we hurried to get the bill and leave.  I was disappointed and felt badly that the evening had not gone according to plan, especially as I had invited a family that had not been with us the last time.  As we parted with our friends, I apologized to them and to their children.  Their son, a very polite young man in 9th Grade, said, "When we go somewhere to eat, I focus on the food and the food was amazing."  With his gracious kindness, this young man made me feel much better about the evening.

The Kindness of the Small Gesture

"Small gestures can have a big impact."
~ Julianna Margulies

Some days, when I think about the kindnesses that crossed my path, what stays with me are the small gestures:  Someone serving me something to eat at a family gathering, someone taking my plate after I finish so that I can continue a conversation, someone handing me a utensil...  Those very small gestures of kindness that cost very little, but that make things nicer.

Kindness on Christmas

"Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that last forever.  Jesus is God's perfect, indescribable gift.  The amazing thing is that not only are we able to receive this gift, but we are able to share it with others on Christmas and every other day of the year."
~ Joel Osteen

Sometimes kindness is as simple as an unspoken truce among siblings -- no fighting on Christmas Day.  Perhaps that is more miracle than mere kindness.  But whatever the reason, it works for me.  May the miracles of Christmas linger.