Kindness on Halloween

“I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it.”

~ Katharine McPhee

Trick or treating is a big thing in our community.  Everyone from babies to adults dresses up, and the evening begins early and goes late.  It’s a lot of fun, but it can also be exhausting.  On our recent evening out, we were blessed to knock on the doors of friends who graciously let my children fill up their water bottles and who invited us to return for refreshments and food.

The Kindness of Paying Attention

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”

~ José Ortega y Gasset

I have a friend around whom I need to be careful – because whenever I say that I like something, whatever I compliment might just appear.  I have to be very careful.  One of the problems is that my friend has incredibly good taste.  So it’s double trouble.  It has already happened with two blouses.  And the most recent example is a candy bar to which I am partial.  But this particular candy bar comes from the other side of the world.  No problem for my very thoughtful and very resourceful friend who had several of these candy bars shipped from England!

Kindness and a Donut

“Donuts.  Is there anything they can’t do?”

~ Matt Groening

While on an out-of-town business trip, one of my dearest friends texted me to ask if I was home.  I shared that I was out of town for work.  She said she had a special treat that she wanted to drop off at my house for my children.  It was an amazing Nutella donut from a specialty donut shop – a donut that was more small cake than individual-sized donut.  Fortunately, I was able to have a piece when I returned home.

Kindness and Quick Action

“True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

At Mass recently, I was in the same pew as a grandmother and her teenager granddaughter.  During one of the more solemn moments, a cell phone rang.  Apparently, it belonged to the grandmother, who was kneeling.  Without making a fuss, the teenager quickly put her hand inside the grandmother’s purse and silenced the phone.  I don’t think the grandmother noticed.

The Kindness of a Guide

“Be a little kinder than you have to.”

~ E. Lockhart

On a recent business trip, I found myself in another city’s downtown unsure of how to get to my meeting destination.  As I stood on a street corner trying to decide which way to head, a gentleman walked by wearing a tag with my organization’s name on it.  I asked him if he was going to the same building where I was headed.  Yes, he said, and we walked together and had a very nice conversation.  I saw him several times over the course of the various days of meetings and we laughed about our street encounter.  He told me that he made sure to wear his ID tag each morning in case there was someone else who needed a guide.

Kindness and a Video

“I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world.  It’s like nature’s Neosporin.”

~ Matt LeBlanc

It’s not easy to be away from home when I travel for work.  I miss my family and my friends, and just being home.  Thanks to technology, staying in touch is easier than ever.  There is texting and FaceTime – but still.  On a recent trip as I sat in my hotel room after a long day of meetings, I received a funny video from a friend of mine.  It was of her with her characteristic smile being her funny self.  I laughed out loud.  And then played it a few more times, so that I could laugh again.

The Lasting Impact of Kindness

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Over and over again, I am struck by the enduring impact of kindness.  Recently, I pulled out a necklace I had not worn for a while and I remembered that early on in my tenure at an organization, a colleague complimented me on it.  I had just started working at that place and didn’t know too many people there, so her kindness meant a lot.  Several years later, I remember.  But I imagine that she probably does not.  How many of us remember compliments that we give people? 

We never know what is going on in someone’s life…  She could be going through a major challenge or he could simply be nervous about being new somewhere or she could just be having a bad day.  With a word or a smile, we have the opportunity to lift that person’s spirit.  And years later, that person may just remember and be comforted by our kindness.  The thought of it might make that person smile – again.  Even if we have long forgotten.

The Kindness of Sharing a Cookie

“Everywhere in the world there are tensions – economic, political, religious.  So we need chocolate.”

~ Alain Ducasse

Sometimes putting a smile on someone’s face can be as easy as sharing a cookie.  I was walking back into a meeting – part of a long day of meetings in a windowless room – and wishing that I had some chocolate.  I actually said it out loud.  And one of my colleagues said that he would share a chocolate chip cookie that he had saved from lunch.  Chocolate = instant smile.

Kindness and the Traveling Mom

"One who knows how to show and to accept kindness will be a friend better than any possession."
~ Socrates

It definitely takes a village and probably never more so than when a mom travels for work. I certainly rely on my wonderful network of mom friends to help when I travel. While I was on a recent business trip, one of my very special mom friends texted: "Don't worry about a thing this week. I will tell the billy goats [kids] that they can call or text me if they need anything at all." And then she sent me a photo of what my children were doing. There are some kindnesses that are impossible to repay.

Kindness at the Pumpkin Patch

“Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.”

~ Amelia Barr

I was at a church pumpkin patch recently and saw a young couple with a baby walking around the pumpkins.  There is something about the colors of a pumpkin patch that make for terrific photos, and the mother decided to take a photo of the husband and the child.  A teenager who was working at the pumpkin patch walked over and asked the mother if she wanted her to take the photo, so that the three of them could be in it.

Kindness and Birthday Visits

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

My mother is getting ready to celebrate a birthday and in addition to the celebrations that her family and her friends have organized, she will enjoy two weekends of visits from out-of-town friends.  I know she enjoys the additional birthday festivities and I am grateful that she has such thoughtful friends.

The Kindness of a Listen

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

~ Winston Churchill

The other day, I was reminded of how important it is for all of us to have someone who listens to us.  It doesn’t need to be someone who resolves whatever challenge we are facing.  It just needs to be someone who will open her heart to hear what we are saying – and in doing that, help us to hear ourselves.

Kindness and a Resourceful Grandmother

“Life’s too short to hang out with people who aren’t resourceful.”

~ Jeff Bezos

The other day, one of my children said that she had really wanted to see a musical that was playing.  I had wanted to go, too, but had not bought the tickets in time and now it was sold out.  Enter my mother.  There is not a challenge that she has not tried to meet.  And so the next day, several tickets appeared and my daughter was able to see the show.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Teen

“Never suppress a generous thought.”

~ Camilla Eyring Kimball

On a recent evening, I had to drive one of my children to meet up with a group of other teens at our church.  I wasn’t sure where to drop her off, so I called one of my mom friends whose daughter was going, too.  We were all in our cars with the call on Bluetooth, so our children could hear.  As I was asking the other mom where to drop off my daughter, her teenager jumped into the conversation and told me that I should drop off my daughter at a certain spot where I could see her walk inside from my car.  The teenager told me that she knew I would be worried about having my daughter walk in the dark, so she was giving me the other option.  I told her I appreciated her knowing her people.

Kindness at the Library

“Every day, some act of kindness comes my way, even if it’s just someone opening the door.  It happens every day if you keep an eye out for it.  Keeping an eye out that’s the key.”

~ Aaron Neville

Every so often, I volunteer in the early morning at the library at one of my children’s school.  On a recent morning, I was in an especially big hurry and did not manage to grab something to eat before heading for the library.  A little while into my shift, the librarian asked me if I wanted coffee.  I said no, but I asked her if she knew at what time they put out the snacks for the children and explained that I had not eaten anything that morning.  A few minutes later, the librarian came over to where I was shelving books and very quietly told me to go to her office where she had a croissant, a yogurt and another small snack waiting for me.  I was incredibly touched by her kindness.

The Kindness of 15 Minutes

“Many hands make light work.”

~ John Heywood

Sometimes, we think that it takes a lot to share kindness that is meaningful to another person.  But a big dose of kindness can happen in 15 minutes.  For example, if you are getting ready for an event and are pressed for time – maybe running late even – and a couple of friends show up to help you set up, 15 minutes of their help can make a huge difference.

Kindness and “Yummies”

“I get way too much happiness from good food.”

~ Elizabeth Olsen

Toward the end of a long day, one of my dearest mom friends texted me to ask if we were home as she had some “yummies” for us.  I told her we would be home a little later.  When we arrived, we found a bag with delicious cinnamon rolls and chocolate bars inside.  Talk about putting smiles on tired faces!

Kindness at the Supermarket

“Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your modus operandi and change your world.”

~ Annie Lennox

I recently went to place a food order for an event at a local supermarket.  I ordered a dessert at the bakery and then some platters at the deli.  Then I realized that I needed something else from the bakery.  The young woman at the bakery, who had been very friendly from the start, shared that for a few dollars more, I could purchase a party package that had my dessert as well as several other items.  It was a very good deal, so I thanked her and took her up on it.  I was so taken by her kindness that I mentioned it to one of my mom friends after I left the store.  No kindness slouch herself, the mom told me that I should call the store manager and let her know how helpful the young woman was.

Kindness and a Mango

“Who doesn’t want to know that we notice them and value them?  And who might respond to us better when they feel that they matter?  It probably cannot be overstated – it matters… that people matter.”

~ Steve Goodier

Sometimes a small thing can make someone’s day – and often it’s not such a small thing at all.  One of my best mom friends sent my son a mango.  Mango aficionado that he is, he was thrilled.  Small thing?  Not really.  This friend of mine has taken the time to listen to my son and get to know him, so she knows that he likes the fruit.  She thought about him.  She took the time to take the mango, put it in a plastic bag and get it to him.  And, oh, did I mention that she brought it from her sister’s home, which is a five-hour drive away?  Sometimes a mango is not just a mango, and a small thing is not such a small thing at all.

Kindness and Triplets

“All you need in the world is love and laughter.  That’s all anybody needs.  To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.”

~ August Wilson

My son recently had a birthday.  He was blessed with many well wishes.  One of the most unique came from a set of triplets whom we know from my son’s last school and from church.  They are several years younger than my son, but they all get along.  As they have in years past, the triplets made a Happy Birthday video for my son, directed by their mother, a dear friend.  We immediately played it twice and laughed out loud the entire time.  I have no doubt that the triplets’ birthday message will provide more laughter.

Kindness and a Helpful Tween

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

~ Ric Ocasek

The other night, I arrived at the lobby of a condo building only to find that the doorman had stepped away from his post and the front door was locked.  There was a young girl, 12-ish, sitting in the lobby balancing a laptop and some papers on her knees.  She seemed to be in studying mode, so I did not want to disturb her.  However, at one point, she looked up and seeing me outside, ran to open the door.  I told her that I was sorry to bother her.  She gave me a big smile and said that it was no trouble at all.

Kindness and a Home-Cooked Meal

“Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing.”

~ Irina Shayk

My friends could not have known that I had an evening meeting… or a migraine. But they are thoughtful on a good day.  Imagine my delight when one of my dear mom friends texted to let me know that her husband had made a savory pasta sauce and would I like some.  After my meeting, I drove by their house and the husband came to my car with not only the delicious sauce that he had made, but also pasta to accompany it.  A delicious home-cooked meal for my family via drive-thru – how great is that?!?

Kindness and Memory

“So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.”

~ Helen Keller

I have a ceramic basket on top of my refrigerator that came with a flower arrangement more than 15 years ago.  My steadfast friend sent it to me.  And every time I see it, I remember her incredible thoughtfulness.

Kindness and a Polite Boy

“Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations.”

~ Bryant H. McGill

The other day at a school event as I was talking to another mother, the son of a friend of mine walked by. I had not seen him for a while, but when I saw him, the young man stopped, greeted me with a big smile and very politely, and spoke to me for a few minutes.  “What a polite boy!” the mother with whom I had been speaking said.  A little later in the evening, I saw the boy’s mother and told her how polite her son had been.  The other mother had already beat me to it.

Kindness and a Ride to Dry Ground

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A woman I know goes to work in a building where the parking is on lower ground.  In the last couple of weeks, there has been a lot of rain and the parking area is frequently flooded. It makes it hard for her to get to the building without walking through the sitting water. But the gentlemen who work in the maintenance department of the building have kindly been going to get her in their golf court and taking her to higher – and dry – ground, so that she does not get wet.

Kindness and an Orchestra Mom

“It takes generosity to discover the whole through others.  If you realize you are only a violin, you can open yourself up to the world by playing your role in the concert.”

~ Jacques Yves Cousteau

I recently went to my son’s first orchestra performance of the school year.  We were seated toward the middle of the room and did not have a great view.  I asked another mother who was sitting closer  if she would take a couple of photos of my son.  Of course, she said.  A few minutes after my son’s group finished playing, I received several photos as well as a video that she had taken of him.  And after her daughters played, she got up so that another parent could take her well-positioned seat.

Kindness and a Lift

“It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.”

~ Epicurus

The other day, a mom friend went to leave work only to find that her car would not start.  She texted two of her mom friends who live close by to see if either one could take her home.  Both replied, happy to help.  One was a little closer, so she picked her up.  My mom friend said that after being stressed about her car not starting, her friends’ quick and gracious responses were “a breath of fresh air.”  What are friends for?

Kindness After the Storm

“In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge.  The young they keep out of mischief; to the old they are a comfort and aid in their weakness, and those in the prime of life they incite to noble deeds.”

~Aristotle

I recently ran into a mom friend whose house was severely damaged by flooding because of the hurricane.  She and her family have had to move out of their home.  Friends generously offered that they could move in with them, but a realtor friend found them a small house to rent.  Unrelated to the storm, my friend and her family had ended up with one car, which was proving difficult, but a friend loaned them a car for a week.  My friend is very grateful for the support she has received and is trying to take things one day at a time.

Kindness Becomes a Part of Us

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

~ Scott Adams

I recently was remembering a long-ago kindness, savoring it really.  And it occurred to me that kindnesses become a part of us.  Like love, they frequently hold us up.  Recalling them usually makes us smile, too.  And inspired by them, we pay it forward.

Kindness and a Brownie

“Chocolate is one of the world’s most beloved discoveries, and when we need a quick boost of energy and endorphins, chocolate is the go-to treat.”

~ Marcus Samuelsson

Sometimes – many times, it truly is the little things that make your day.  On a recent school day, a brownie made my son’s day.  An older friend from my son’s previous school offered my son a brownie when he ran into him in between classes.  My son said it was a very delicious brownie, but I think what he appreciated most was his friend’s generosity.

Kindness and the Helpers

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.’”

~Mister Rogers

I thought of Mr. Rogers’ saying about the helpers again today, but I didn’t have to look for the helpers – they were all around me.  During a church service this morning, one of the ushers collapsed in the back of church.  A doctor ran to the usher’s side.  The woman next to me yelled for a friend to call 911.  The woman behind me told me to pray and grabbed my hand – or maybe I grabbed hers.  Joined by a couple of others, the gentleman who called 911 ran to the street to signal the ambulance.  The priest asked us to continue praying – as that was the best thing we could do.  The band continued to lead us in song.  And when the usher, a veteran and beloved member of the church and of the community, was taken out on a stretcher by the paramedics, the priest told us all to look toward the back of the church, so we could see the usher sitting up and talking as he was wheeled toward the rescue truck.  There weren’t too many dry eyes in the church, but there was a lot of prayer and there were many helpers.