The Kindness of Standing Up for Others

“Passivity is the same as defending injustice.”

~ Deepak Chopra

I was recently talking to another mom about bullies – people who aren’t kind to others.  And she shared that she had once gone to speak to a teacher who was not being mean to her child, but to another child in the class.  The treatment of that child bothered my friend’s child as well as my friend, so she went to talk to the teacher and told him that he had to stop.  

The Kindness of Snack Mom

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.”

~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

One of my favorite mom friends is also the quintessential snack mom. She always makes sure that my children have something to eat when she picks them up from school.  My children are especially fond of the middle console in her car where she keeps all kinds of treats, ranging from raisins to cookies to goldfish.

The Kindness of Being Easygoing

“There’s an easygoing nature that comes with a perspective of things that aren’t as important as we make them sometimes.”

~ Marguerite Moreau

My steadfast friend and I have been very good friends for several decades.  On a recent weekend, I texted her to see if she wanted to go see a movie with me and one of my children.  I probably gave her an hour and half notice.  And “sure” was her quick reply.  She has been that way ever since I met her.  She is always up for doing something and she always makes it easy.  As we enjoyed an unplanned weekend afternoon, I was reminded of how much I appreciate her easygoing ways.

Kindness at the Deli

“Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.”

~ Charles M. Schwab

On a recent Sunday night, I found myself at the supermarket a little later than usual.  One of my children really wanted sliced ham from the deli, but as I approached the deli, I saw that it looked closed.  I asked one of the women behind the counter at what time the deli closed, so that I would know for next time.  She said the deli closed at 10 pm.  I looked at my phone, saw that it was 9:51 and told the woman that it was not 10 pm.  I truly did not expect her to stop cleaning the equipment and to get me what I wanted.  But she smiled as if she had not realized that it was not quite closing time.  She got me the ham I needed and asked if I was sure that I did not need anything else.  I told her that I was sorry that I was bothering her so close to closing, but she genuinely seemed not to mind.  She smiled and told me that it was no bother at all.

The Kindness of Sharing Advice

“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.”

~ Aristotle

My teenagers and I recently stopped in at a neighborhood café for a quick bite.  It was near closing time and we were the only table, so the young woman who works there ended up talking with us.  She told us that she had just graduated from high school and was taking a full credit load at the community college while working two jobs.  This young woman shared how she wished that she had taken more advantage of the educational opportunities that she had had in high school and that she had done more community service.  She also talked about how tired she was, how much she learned from the people who came into the café, and the importance of customer service.  As my teenagers sat listening to her, all I could think of was that I could not pay this older teenager enough for the advice she was sharing with my only slightly younger teens.

Kindness and Friendship

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.”

~ Brian Tracy

One of my dearest friends recently celebrated a milestone birthday.  His family invited a small group for a beautiful celebratory dinner.  One of the best parts of the evening was his family and friends sharing what they loved about him, which included an amazing generosity of spirit and his dedication to those he loves.

Kindness and a Good Samaritan

“Be nice to people… maybe it’ll be unappreciated, unreciprocated, or ignored, but spread the love anyway.  We rise by lifting others.”

~ Germany Kent

My car has a manufacturer’s decal on the front.  Some time ago, I noticed that part of it had peeled off.  And then, very recently, the decal was back.  I did a double take and then as I looked carefully, I saw that two pieces had been glued back on.  I wondered who had done that.  The mystery was solved when a gentleman in my neighborhood shared that he had found the two parts of the decal on his motorcycle cover.  And so he had decided to glue them back on my car.

Kindness and Parking Garage Wisdom

“You are not here merely to make a living.  You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.  You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”

~ Woodrow Wilson

In the midst of a busy week, I was exiting a parking garage and stopped to pay the attendant.  I was a little flustered as I tried to find the cash in my purse and told her that I was a bit crazed.  She looked at me and said, “Just relax – there is no reason to go crazy.”  She then shared that she was turning 70 in a couple of days, but that she was relaxed and just taking life as it came.  I laughed and thanked her, and drove on, amazed at how random encounters can lift our spirits.

Kindness and a Place to Sit

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~ Mary Lambert

I recently attended a funeral Mass, which was standing room only.  As I leaned against one of the side walls of the church, I looked around to see if there might be an available seat somewhere.  I was wearing heels and had been standing too long.  An older gentleman standing behind me came up to me and pointed to a space in a pew.  He said that the person who had been there had already left.  I immediately sat down.  And was very grateful.

Kindness and Paper Clips

“Love consists in desiring to give what is our own to another and feeling his delight as our own.”

~ Emanuel Swedenborg

I love office supplies.  And I come by it honestly – my father loved them, too.  I love paper, pens, folders, pencils… and even paper clips!  Recently, a friend of ours – another office supplies lover – came by our house and told me she had a little surprise for me.  Out of her bag, she pulled two bags of paper clips – “trombones,” they were labeled.  (“Trombone” is the French word for paper clip.  Who knew?)  One bag was filled with brightly colored clips; the second had striped paper clips.  Only another office supplies lover could understand my delight.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Gesture

“Small gestures can have a big impact.”

~ Julianna Margulies

I recently went to an event for my university that began with Mass.  I sat next to a friend, who is also an alumnus, and his wife.  When we returned from Communion, my friend lowered my kneeler before he lowered his own.  A small thing but a thoughtful gesture that made me smile.

Surprise Kindness on the Road

“A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.”

~ Joseph Joubert

The other day on my way home, I was driving through heavy traffic because of a boat show.  There were several police officers directing the traffic and stopping cars every so often to let pedestrians cross the street.  As I was approaching one of the crossings, a police officer signaled me to stop.  I had been hoping to make it through because I was running late, so I grimaced, but began stopping.  And to my great surprise, the officer saw my face and motioned me through.  And then stopped the car behind me.  

Kindness at the Movies

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I recently took my son to the movies.  We arrived a couple of minutes after the movie had started, and we both really wanted to see the beginning.  After the movie was over, we went to the ticket counter, told the woman who was working there what happened, and asked her if we might be able to see the first few minutes of the next movie.  I told her that I would pay for two more tickets.  She asked me if we were going to watch just a few minutes of it.  I said yes and she told me to just go and see it.  Not surprisingly, my son and I became engrossed in the movie, so we not only watched the beginning that we had missed, but also some more of it, too.  After about 45 minutes, we needed to go.  On our way out, I stop by the ticket desk and told the woman that we had seen more than a few minutes and that we would pay for additional tickets.  She smiled and told us not to worry about it, and wished us a nice day. 

Kindness and Remembering

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

~ Bruce Lee

The other day, my daughter and I saw one of our neighbors as he drove off.  An octogenarian, this gentleman had been married 60 years when his wife passed away.  On the passenger side dashboard of his car, we saw a small photo of his wife that he had propped up, right in front of where she used to ride

Love – the Ultimate Kindness

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

The best kindness of all, of course, is love. I hope your Valentines’ Day has included love from your dearest ones and perhaps unexpected demonstrations of love in surprising places.

And for those of us on a Lenten journey, may your hearts be open to possibility, to love and to kindness.

A Legacy of Kindness

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people.  Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”

~ Taylor Swift

I recently attended the funeral Mass for a woman in her 70s.  The church was packed.  This woman had been a corporate executive and community leader, and more importantly, a loving wife, mother and aunt.  She was known for her extraordinary kindness.  She helped many people and she did it in a very quiet way.  The standing room only crowd was a testament to how much she was loved and had loved.  At the end of the Mass, a group of women, most in their 70s and 80s and alumnae of the school that the woman had also attended in Cuba, made their way to the front of the church to say a special prayer.  Some needed the help of a cane or an arm to make their way to the front, but no matter, they all made the effort.  A couple of younger women stood in for their mothers who had already passed.  Together, these women said a prayer, and honored their friend and her legacy of kindness.

The Kindness of Thinking of Others

“Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.”

~ Amelia Barr

On a recent Monday evening, one of my mom friends called me to ask if I needed anything from CVS as she was on her way there.  She figured that she might save me a trip.  I didn’t need anything, but I was touched by her thoughtfulness.  Especially nice at the end of a hectic Monday.

Kindness and Thoughtfulness

“The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love colour the most.”

~ John Ruskin

There is a woman at church who frequently brings the food for the coffee hour following the service.  She is an amazing cook and everyone is very happy when it’s her turn.  Recently, she was out of town attending a friend’s funeral when she was assigned coffee hour.  But she organized the food and had her husband take care of coffee hour.  A couple of the women at church left the service a couple of minutes early to help the husband with the food, but when they arrived in the parish hall, he was completely set up and ready to go.

Kindness and a Grandmother’s Determination

“Having a grandmother is like having an army.  This is a grandchild’s ultimate privilege: knowing that someone is on your side, always, whatever the details.”

~ Fredrik Backman

One of my children recently had a meaningful milestone ceremony at her school.  My mother had been sick and in bed for a few days, so I encouraged her to stay home and assured her that I would share photos.  But a very determined woman, my mother refused to miss the ceremony.  I had to go much earlier, but my mother had someone drop her off.  “I would not have missed this for the world,” she said.  And one more time, her being there will be part of my children’s childhood memories.

Kindness in Middle School

“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?”

~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The other day, my favorite middle schooler shared a nice story.  In one of his classes, they were breaking up into groups of two for a project and he did not have a partner.  One of the girls in his class was already paired up, but she noticed that he was not working with anyone, so she told another boy to be his partner.

Kindness and Taking Care of Others

“Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”

~ Jesus (Matthew 25: 40)

On a recent Sunday evening, an attorney I know received a call from a client who had nowhere to go and was hungry.  The lawyer, who was already in his pajamas, put on street clothes and drove off to find the client.  He bought food at McDonald’s and drove to the area where the client said he was.  But the attorney could not find his client, so he drove around until he found another homeless person who wanted the food.

Kindness and Compliments

“I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’  I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort.”

~ Gordon B. Hinckley

At a lunch with several friends recently, another woman who knew one of us stopped by our table to say hello.  She was very friendly and complimented one of the women at the table on her eyes.  After the lunch, one of my friends walked out with this woman, who told her that she had a nice smile.  How wonderful to go through life saying positive things to others!

Kindness and More Kindness

“My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness.”

~ Dalai Lama

I recently met a colleague who works overseas.  He shared that he was going to be spending several weeks in the States to help his mother who would be recovering from surgery.  I told him how wonderful it was that he was doing that for his mother and I said that I was sure his mother appreciated it more than he could imagine.  He shrugged it off and told me that he felt very blessed that he worked for an organization that enabled him to do that.  He said that when he emailed his boss to ask if he could take off several weeks from work to care for his mother, his boss replied “of course” in less than three minutes.  

Kindness on a Flight

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I was boarding a flight recently behind an older couple; they appeared to be in their late 70s or early 80s.  When they arrived at their seats, another passenger, a young man, asked them if they needed help stowing their luggage and lifted their bags into the overhead compartment.

The Kindness of Asking if We Need Help

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”

~ Albert Schweitzer

It’s not always easy to ask for help because it can feel as though we are imposing on the other person.  But some people make things easier.  One of my dearest mom friends stepped in to help me with my children when I recently traveled for work.  And before I could ask for her help again, she asked me if I needed her.

The Kindness of a Prayer

“Dear Father, please hold me in your loving arms, and see me safely home.”

~ RC

A woman I know is not the world’s bravest air traveler.  She gets nervous whenever she takes a flight.  As she waited at the airport for a flight recently, a friend of hers texted her the quote above and told her that that is what he prays each time he travels as the plane takes off.  The woman said her friend’s prayer as the flight was taking off and then several times during the flight.  It gave her a sense of calm.

Kindness and Hospitality

“True hospitality is marked by an open response to the dignity of each and every person.  Henri Nouwen has described it as receiving the stranger on his own terms, and asserts that it can be offered only by those who ‘have found the center of their lives in their own hearts.’”

~ Kathleen Norris

During a recent week of business meetings, local colleagues volunteered to host out-of-town, mostly overseas, colleagues at their homes for dinner.  Two of my colleagues and I were treated to a wonderful evening with a local colleague’s three-generational family.  The dinner that our colleague prepared was delicious, and spending time with members of her family was a special treat.

The Kindness of Patience

"Patience is not simply the ability to wait -- it's how we behave while we're waiting."

~ Joyce Meyer

On a recent business trip, I was supposed to meet two colleagues at our hotel to then go elsewhere for a work dinner. I got caught up in late afternoon meetings at our office and realized that I would not be back at the hotel on time. I called one of my colleagues, told her that I was running late and said that they should go on without me. Absolutely not, my colleague said. I walked as fast as I could, but I was lugging a heavy bag with my laptop inside. When I arrived at the hotel lobby, my colleague asked me if I wanted to run up to my room and drop off my extra things. I was incredibly grateful for her patience and goodwill.