Kindness at Starbuck’s

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Due to an unexpected bridge closing, I found myself unable to get to my desk and so I opted to charge my phone and regroup at a Starbuck’s.  It was very crowded when I arrived and it was not easy to find an available electrical outlet.  I finally found one and asked a young man sitting closer to it that I was if he would mind plugging in my phone.  Not at all, he said with a smile, and then offered to move over, so that I could have a seat.

Kindness and an Opened Door

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

The other day I was running to my car in the rain.  My passenger had made it to the car before me and was already in the front seat.  As I approached my car, she opened the driver's side door so that I could get in easier.  Even the smallest kindness matters.

The Kindness of an Extra Dessert

“Unless generosity of spirit prevails among men, there can never be upon earth an ideal life.”

~  Orison Swett Marden

The other day, I had lunch at a restaurant with a small group of family and friends to celebrate a birthday.  The food was delicious and we had all eaten more than we intended, so when it was time for dessert, we decided to order a piece of pie to share.  In addition to the pie, the server brought a piece of cake courtesy of the owner, who said that one dessert was not enough for all of us.

Birthday Kindness

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A teenager I know was having a birthday.  Her younger brother decided that he would help decorate, so he made paper garland and a big Happy Birthday sign.  He also made copies of a photo of his sister’s face and placed them around their home.

Kindness in the Air

“You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give.”

~ Patti LaBelle

A woman I know is not a very good traveler – by air, that is.  Flying on a good day makes her nervous.  A bad flight is a problem.  Recently, after a couple of days of daily flights, she was on a rough one.  Thankfully, she was sitting next to a very nice older woman, a neurologist, who talked to her calmly, and guided her through breathing and meditation.

The Kindness of an Ask

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An older woman I know asked me to make a strata – a casserole-type dish – for a special event at church.  Not being much of a cook, I was a bit nervous about her request, but I told her that if she gave me a simple recipe, I would do it.  She sent me a recipe that fortunately did not include too many ingredients.  The day before I needed to produce the strata, she texted me to ask if I had any questions.  No – because at that point I had not even started.  When I finally began to make the dish, I did have questions, but it was too late to call her, so I just did what made the most sense.  The next day, I showed up with my strata, hoping that it would turn out close to what she was expecting.  She oohed and aahed over my dish and told me that mine had turned out better than hers.  Impossible, I know, but she did get me to do something that I did not think I could do.

Kindness and T.H.I.N.K.

“Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years.”

~  Joseph B. Wirthlin

The other day, someone shared with me the concept of T.H.I.N.K.  Before we speak, we should ask ourselves the following about what we are going to share:

T – Is it true?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it inspiring? Or will it improve on the silence?

N – Is it necessary?

K – Is it kind?

If we apply this, it definitely cuts down on what we say.  And as I realized recently when I stopped myself from making a gratuitous comment, that might not be a bad thing.

Kindness at the Airport

“I always say that kindness is the greatest beauty you can have.”

~ Andie MacDowell

I recently was making my way through a familiar airport, but I exited the train that takes passengers between terminals at the wrong spot and got a bit turned around.  I asked an airport employee who was pushing an empty wheelchair how to get to where I was going.  “Come with me,” she said and led me back onto the train.  Once we arrived at the main terminal, she walked with me and then pointed me in the right direction.  And along the way, we had a pleasant conversation.

The Kindness of a Smile

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”

~  William Arthur Ward

The other day as I was walking through an airport terminal, a gentleman walking toward me smiled at me.  I smiled back.  And kept smiling.

Late-Night Kindness at the Hotel

“Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time.”

~ Ron Hall

I recently found myself checking into a hotel after midnight with a couple of colleagues after a very long day of meetings and travel.  One of my colleagues asked the gentleman at the front desk if there was somewhere to get a Diet Coke.  The gentleman said that he would get her one from the employee vending machine – the only place to get one at that hour.  I then asked if the vending machine had water. He said no, but he went to the employee refrigerator and gave me a cold water bottle.

Early Morning Kindness on the Road

“Pour God’s love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Whenever I travel, I end up writing about kindnesses on the road.  I think the reason that I find them so meaningful is that when we travel alone, we are always with strangers and never at home in the way that we are with family and close friends.  Sometimes those random interactions with strangers give us the connection to others we all need.

As I was boarding a recent flight, a gentleman behind me helped stow my bag in the overhead.  It turned out that he was sitting next to me.  Before the flight took off, I saw him unbuckle his seat belt and wondered what he was doing.  He stood up to help a woman a couple of rows ahead with her luggage.  Not surprisingly, when we landed, this same gentleman pulled my bag out of the overhead and then placed my smaller bag on top of it.  As the passengers were deplaning, I let a boy of about 8 go in front of me.  He turned around with a big smile and thanked me.  Again, I was surprised, but happy to encounter so much kindness before 9 a.m.

Kindness and a Yearbook Project

“Do all the good you can.”

~ John Wesley

I recently spoke to a friend who is very involved in his former high school.  His involvement includes raising money for the school, organizing events, mentoring students and more.  However, one project with which he has been involved really caught my attention.  He and a handful of other alumni decided to collect as many yearbooks from the school as possible, scan them and make them available to the school’s alumni online.  His alma mater had its roots in Cuba, so they have located many of those yearbooks – all more than 50 years old.  This project has enabled people to find not only themselves, but also parents, uncles and grandparents.  Just a couple of weeks ago, an alumnus traveling in Scotland met a woman whose father had graduated from the school in Cuba.  With a few clicks on his phone, the alumnus was able to pull up a yearbook from nearly 80 years ago and show it to this woman in Scotland.  I have no doubt that there are more stories like that – made possible by a small group of determined men who could not foresee the good that their effort would do.

Happy Fathers’ Day!

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.”

~ John Wooden

So much kindness to appreciate on Fathers’ Day.  A friend who lost her father years ago and her uncle this week posted a photo of the two brothers, doctors both, on social media.  At her uncle’s funeral this week, she recalled how her uncle had taken on even more of a paternal role within the family after her father’s passing.  My childhood friends remembered our fathers in our group chat.  Our fathers are all gone now, but the memories and the kindnesses remain.  Thanks to the fathers, the grandfathers, the uncles and all the other men who have brought kindness and so much more into our lives.  Always in our hearts.

Kindness and Photos

“Photography to me is catching a moment which is passing, and which is true.”

~  Jacques-Henri Lartigue

The other day, someone mentioned to me that no one prints out photos anymore.  I thought about that as one of my children shared a beautiful birthday card that a friend had given her.  My daughter's friend had tucked several small photos of the two of them inside the card.  The thoughtfulness made my daughter very happy.

The Kindness of a Weekend Invite

“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.”

~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

One of my childhood friends lives in another city.  She recently invited our group of friends from elementary school for a weekend at her home.  Members of our small group of friends are coming from across the country and places in between to spend a couple of days with old friends.

Kindness and a Mentor

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

~  Henry Adams

Yesterday was a friend of mine’s birthday.  She would have been 110 years old, but she died a number of years ago.  This friend was one of my high school teachers and a very important mentor.  She taught me many things, and was a constant and long-time source of support and encouragement.  Long after I left high school, I called her when things got tough.  And she was always there.  I think of her often and always on her birthday.

Kindness and a Local Shop

“There is a spiritual aspect to our lives – when we give, we receive – when a business does something good for somebody, that somebody feels good about them!”

~  Ben Cohen

There is a small shop close to where I live that carries a variety of items from gifts to stationery.  A few weeks earlier, I had seen a scarf that I really liked, but I did not buy it.  I stopped by the shop last week to buy something else and looked for the scarf.  Not seeing it, I asked if they had any more.  No, they told me – they had sold out pretty quickly.  A couple of days ago, I received a call from one of the saleswomen, who told me that she had found the scarf I liked and was holding it for me.

The Kindness of Not Trying to Sell

“Our attitude towards others determines their attitude toward us.”

~  Earl Nightingale

Two college friends I know went to a department store to buy make-up.  One friend was in search of a better foundation and a salesperson suggested she try a particular line.  The make-up artist at the counter helped the friend find a good match.  When the second friend asked if he thought she needed a new foundation, the make-up artist said that her foundation worked, but he gave her a sample of something she might want to try.  When the first friend saw that the makeup artist was not trying to sell her friend something, she felt much more comfortable buying the few items that he recommended.

Kindness and Acknowledgement

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

~  Ken Blanchard

On a recent Sunday after church, I overheard one of the parishioners tell the priest how much she had enjoyed the sermon.  The woman told the priest that she had been moved to tears.  I have heard from other priests that it is difficult to stand up and deliver a homily, so I can only imagine how much this priest appreciated the heartfelt feedback.

Kindness and Hospitality

“Any celebration meal to which guests are invited, be they family or friends, should be an occasion for generous hospitality.”

~ Julian Baggini

After a church service we attend, there is a coffee hour in the parish hall.  Different members of the congregation host it every Sunday.  There is a couple at church who regularly host the coffee hours every month.  When the parishioners realize that it is this particular couple’s turn, they are thrilled as this couple always goes above and beyond.  One woman I know tells me that she does “a happy dance” because she knows that we will be in for a special treat.  We can be sure to enjoy homemade casseroles and baked sweets in abundance.

Kindness and the Gift of Time

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern.”

~ Joel Osteen

Recently, I had the pleasure – a real treat – of spending an evening with several of my closest friends.  What I appreciated the most was that they spent time with my family and me.  One friend had her daughter home from college; another family was leaving on vacation the next day.  Another friend lingered even though she was tired.  The best memories are made of these kinds of gifts – time spent together.

Small Town Kindness

“We are here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W. H. Auden

I recently heard a story from a fire department chief about life in his small community.  The fire chief’s grandmother, who is in her 90s, had gotten lost walking.  A police officer saw her and realized that she needed help, so he stopped and made sure that she got back home.

Traffic Kindness

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

I live in a city that is routinely rated as one of the most unfriendly in which to drive.  However, on a recent morning, I encountered two drivers who, with a flicker of their lights, let me know that they were going to help me out.  In the first case, I was trying to make a left turn without a traffic light and a car coming in the opposite direction, stopped and flicked the lights to let me know I could turn.  In the second, I had to change lanes as an ambulance had stopped in my lane to assist someone and again, with a flick of the lights, someone let me merge into the other lane.  Small things and yet, they made my life a little easier and the kindnesses – by strangers –  made me smile. (Think of how many people are thrown off by a nasty encounter on the road.)  It reminded me that we can positively impact others with just a little effort.  

Kindness and Generosity

“Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity.”

~ José Martí

A woman I know went to get a manicure and pedicure after a too-long hiatus.  When she arrived at the salon, she realized that she had forgotten to take flip flops with her to protect her pedicure on her way home.  She told the manicurist that she would wear the salon-provided pedicure slippers.  The manicurist told her that the salon owner thought that because it had rained, it was too slippery for anyone to wear those out.  As they talked about what to do, the manicurist told the woman to try on the manicurist’s sandals and that she could wear those to leave.  Once they were finished, the woman said that she would wear the manicurist's sandals to her car and then drive close to the door of the salon and return them.  The manicurist refused and insisted that the client keep her sandals.

The Kindness of Joining in Effort

“You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus and the support.”

~ Sabrina Bryan

I recently offered a cookie to a friend who was visiting.  She declined the offer and explained that she was joining her husband in his efforts to eat healthier by avoiding sugar.  

Sisterly Kindness

“Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister.”

~ Alice Walker

Sisters bicker and sometimes even fight, but if we are lucky, they also come through when we need them to.  And so it was with two teenage sisters.  One had a dinner invite and the other helped with hair and makeup.  She even lent the going-out sister her favorite purse.  And then the stay-at-home sister waited by the door for her sister to come home.

Kindness, Whipped Cream and Conversation

“My idea of a good night has always been having a lovely meal and a proper conversation.”

~ Kirsty Gallacher

Although I am a morning person, I recently found myself at an all-night diner waiting for a post-prom crowd of teenagers to finish socializing.  I ordered a rare treat – chocolate chip pancakes – and then decided to go for the gusto:  I asked the server for whipped cream.  She gave me a big smile and returned with the can of whipped cream.  She told me to go for it.  After I smothered my pancakes in whipped cream, she gave me a high five.  As sleepy as I was, I enjoyed not only my late-night breakfast, but also the friendliness of the server, with whom we had a nice conversation about parenting, cell phones and socializing in the era of social media.

Kindness and the Matchmaking Teen

“True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

A very thoughtful teenager I know decided not to go to her school prom.  The young man she wanted to take did not want to go.  They had already gone to his school prom and he was prommed out.  But none of that stopped this teenager from setting up several of her girlfriends with young men she knows as prom dates.  She even met up with the couples after the prom at a diner for some post-prom fun.

Kindness and Chivalrous Young Men

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”

~ Albert Schweitzer

Two middle-school boys were in a building elevator when an older woman carrying a vase of flowers entered.  One of the boys pushed the elevator button for her and the other offered to carry her flowers.  I don’t doubt that these two boys made the older woman’s day – or at the very least made her smile.