The Kindness of Remembering Details

"I always say that kindness is the greatest beauty you can have."
~ Andie MacDowell

Several months ago, I told a lovely friend of mine that one of my favorite foods is chocolate chip cookies.  It has been that way since I was a child when Friday nights frequently included sleepovers with my good friends at my grandmother's house and baking chocolate chip cookies. 

When my birthday rolled around last year, my lovely friend showed up with a freshly baked plate of chocolate chip cookies.  A couple of days ago -- in the middle of a rough week -- my friend called to say that she had something for me.  And last night she gave me a treat I never knew existed -- a jar of chocolate chip cookie dough that is designed to be eaten not baked.  How great is that?!  It is delicious, but much more important is that it is one more expression of my lovely friend's kindness.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Borrower

"One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind."
~Malayan Proverb

When I think of "borrower," I immediately remember the fantasy novel that I read as a child titled "The Borrowers" by English author Mary Norton.  The "borrowers" were a family of small people who lived secretly in a house of big people and borrowed whatever they needed from the regular house inhabitants.  As far as I remember, the borrowers never returned anything.

And then there is my very dear friend who is one of the most thoughtful borrowers ever.  Last weekend, we traveled together to a school activity for our children and she borrowed a top of mine during the trip.  (It looked much better on her than on me.)  When she returned it a few days later, she had washed it, folded it in tissue paper  and put it in a store bag.  It looked like a gift!  And to top it off, she gave me a bouquet of my favorite flowers to thank me for lending her the top.  I am not sure that any borrower could be kinder.

The Kindness of Sharing Great Company

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."
~Epictetus

Recently, one of my dearest friends gave me a great gift -- his company.  I had been through a rough few days, so I was delighted at the prospect of lunch with him.  For decades, we have laughed together through a myriad of life situations.  And while we have also shared a few tears, laughter is what happens most whenever we are together.  Our adventures together run the gamut from weddings, funerals and other milestone life events to the silliest of outfits, outings and conversations.  But regardless of what we are doing, I am always happy to be with him.  Spending time with him and the inevitable laughter were just what the doctor ordered after a trying few days.

Infusing Kindness into Every Moment

"Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it.  If we're frantic, life will be frantic.  If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful.  And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace."
~ Marianne Williamson

Recently, it occurred to me that if exchanging smiles positively impacts our mood, then what would happen if we tried to infuse every moment with kindness?  What if we approached every moment of our lives with a propensity to be kind?  Whenever I have tried it for any length of time -- even part of a day, I am surprised by the results.  Whether it is exchanging smiles with a stranger, letting someone go in front of me in traffic, or making ordinary exchanges at stores more pleasant with a bit of conversation, those moments of shared kindness and human connection lift my spirits and create a chain of kindness that brightens my day.

The Kindness of Communicating Love

"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out.  To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."
~Mother Teresa

We are blessed with friends, a married couple, who live in another city.  They are incredibly thoughtful and very attentive to our children.  They were in town recently, but we were not able to spend any time together.  That did not stop them from coming by our apartment with a bag of goodies for us and for our children.  As our children excitedly took the items out of the bag, one of them said, "They love us!"  And I thought, how wonderful that our friends have managed to communicate that to our children.  Can there be a greater kindness than sharing love?

The Sanity-Saving Kindnesses of Our Villages

"The sincere friends of this world are as ship lights in the stormiest of nights."
~ Giotto di Bondone

One of my dearest friends will be moving away soon -- clear to the other side of the world.  And one of her concerns as she prepares for what will surely be a great adventure is what she will do without her village.  Her village will not be physically close, but we the villagers have pledged to be there for her.  And I have no doubt that we will.  (I also know that given what a terrific person she is, she will continue to expand her village and will find new members in her new home.)

I was reminded of the sanity-saving kindness of my own village very recently.  I unexpectedly found myself in the hospital with a loved one.  Everything turned out fine, but I didn't know that as my relatively short odyssey began.  But my villagers kept me sane and held me up.  I felt completely sustained by the kindness of those dearest to me.  And even by a former colleague.

My soon-to-be faraway friend immediately asked what she could do and if I needed her to take care of my children.  She texted me messages of support and encouragement.  "I am sure you are terrified, but be strong, " she texted.  She told me what to do, how to deal with my loved one, what to tell the nurses...  It was step-by-step instructions.  When I couldn't think, she was thinking for me.  Although she is younger than me, she frequently feels like my older sister.  And I love her for it.

As I shared the news with other friends, they texted to ask what they could do.  I reached out to a friend whose husband is a doctor and she had her husband call me.  He spoke to the emergency room doctor and all of a sudden we were getting the attention that we needed, but had not received before.  We were actually told that they might not have the medicine we needed ("there is a national shortage") and there was a line for the diagnostic test.  After our doctor friend spoke to the ER doctor, the medicine appeared and there was no wait for the test.  Sad, but true.

Once I was assured that things would be fine, I realized that I needed to eat and so I went looking for the hospital restaurant that was supposed to be very close.  I became lost in the labyrinth of hallways and was feeling overwhelmed when I ran into a former colleague.  She said she was visiting her grandmother and asked me why I was there.  I told her and explained that I was trying to find something to eat before I fainted, but that I was lost.  She gave me a big hug and walked me to the restaurant, and then showed me how to get back to the Emergency Room area.  I felt as though I had run into an angel in the hospital hallway.

After arriving back home, friends continued to text to see if they could help.  A married couple from out-of-town texted to say that they were going to the grocery store and could they get us anything.  I knew that I needed two things to get through the children's breakfast and lunch the next day, and so I asked them if they could pick those up for me.  (I find it hard to ask, but I felt as though I could not do one more thing.  What is it about hospitals that wear us out?)

I made it through our relatively small ordeal tired, but grateful -- incredibly appreciative for the kindness of my wonderful village.  I felt loved and supported, which was exactly what I needed.

The Kindness of Becoming the Security Detail

"The simple act of caring is heroic."
~ Edward Albert

I recently traveled on an overnight trip with my daughters' school for a language competition.  Several parents, including one dad, rode with the girls on the bus to the competition site several hours away.  It was not easy keeping up with a large group of energetic teenagers and at one stop, a bunch of girls took off running (to Starbucks, no less) while we tried in vain to keep up.  The one dad took off running after them, determined to not let them out of our sight.  On our way back to the bus, this dad was still on duty, standing at the edge of the street we needed to cross to make sure everyone got back safely.