The Kindness of Asking for Help

"Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful."
~ Ric Ocasek

A friend of mine recently texted me to say that she had to ask me for a "huge" favor, but first, she wanted to know what I was doing at the time she needed the favor to make sure it wasn't an imposition.  I was thrilled about the prospect of doing her a "huge" favor!  Why?  Because she is forever helping me.  I enthusiastically asked if she needed me to take her children for the weekend.  It turns out her favor was not much of a favor at all, but I was happy to do it.  Helping in a small way is better than not at all.

The thing is that my friend is incredibly thoughtful -- and kind -- and while she is always helping others, she rarely asks for help in return.  And I have figured out over the years that people like to help.  It makes them feel good -- especially when there is nothing big or else that you can do. 

 

A couple of years ago, the husband of an older friend of mine died.  The daughter called me to ask if I could pick up several copies of the newspaper, so that they would have additional copies of the obituary.  Knowing that I could do nothing about the big loss in their lives, I was glad to be able to help in that very small way.  So it seems to me there is kindness in asking for help from those who care about you and want to do whatever there is to be done -- you are actually making them feel better by allowing them to help you, even in the smallest way. 

Alas, it turns out that my friend did not need my help.  And in her characteristically gracious way, she texted me:  "I am still just as grateful as ever."