Thursday, March 20, 2014

A Legacy of Love and Kindness

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
― Paul McCartney, The End (Abbey Road)

Last summer, I wrote about the funeral of a friend of mine's grandfather and how my friend honored her grandfather at the cemetery.  Sadly and very unexpectedly, my friend's mother died this week.  And today, on what would have been the mother's 80th birthday, we were at her funeral Mass and at the cemetery.

My friend's mother was an extraordinarily kind and compassionate woman, as I wrote in Tuesday's post.  And so perhaps the greatest tribute to her was the kindness that abounded in the wake of her unexpected passing.

There was the childhood friend who planned the very beautiful Mass -- with a smile, generosity and tireless energy, and while caring for her own family.  There were the many family members and friends who stayed for hours at the wake.  There was the laughter and joy in remembering my friend's mother's life.  There was a sharing of grief and affection among the mourners that I am not sure I have ever seen -- a shared understanding of what has been lost.

And then, just as she had done when her grandfather died, my friend led her family and friends in adorning the graves around her mother's with the flowers that had been sent in her mother's honor.  Those at the cemetery, young and not-so-young, immediately followed her lead and the result was flowers on all the graves we could see.  Some of us came across the gravestones of people we knew and there was special meaning in adorning those.  Some of us said silent prayers for those on whose gravestones we placed flowers.  My friend said that she felt a peace that surprised her.

As we walked around the cemetery spreading the flowers, the line from the Beatles song played in my head.  And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

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