― Paul McCartney, The End (Abbey Road)
Last summer,
I wrote about the funeral of a friend of mine's grandfather and how my friend honored
her grandfather at the cemetery. Sadly
and very unexpectedly, my friend's mother died this week. And today, on what would have been the mother's
80th birthday, we were at her funeral Mass and at the cemetery.
My friend's
mother was an extraordinarily kind and compassionate woman, as I wrote in
Tuesday's post. And so perhaps the
greatest tribute to her was the kindness that abounded in the wake of her
unexpected passing.
There was the
childhood friend who planned the very beautiful Mass -- with a smile, generosity
and tireless energy, and while caring for her own family. There were the many family members and friends
who stayed for hours at the wake. There
was the laughter and joy in remembering my friend's mother's life. There was a sharing of grief and affection among
the mourners that I am not sure I have ever seen -- a shared understanding of
what has been lost.
And then, just as she had done when her
grandfather died, my friend led her family and friends in adorning the graves
around her mother's with the flowers that had been sent in her mother's honor. Those at the cemetery, young and
not-so-young, immediately followed her lead and the result was flowers on all
the graves we could see. Some of us came
across the gravestones of people we knew and there was special meaning in
adorning those. Some of us said silent
prayers for those on whose gravestones we placed flowers.
My friend said that she felt a peace that surprised her.
As we walked
around the cemetery spreading the flowers, the line from the Beatles song played
in my head. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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