Kindness and a New Year's Wish

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us.  Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind."
~ Henri Frederic Amiel

The new year presents another opportunity to begin anew -- at the very least, it's a moment of reflection.  As I look back on the year, many of the memories that stand out are those where kindness was found.  And I know that those are the memories that will last.

My new year's wish for you is that you will recognize and linger on those moments of kindness that cross your path.  And let's make haste to be kind.

The Kindness of a Teenager Doing Laundry (Voluntarily!)

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."
~ Ronald Reagan

Perhaps it is because she is a newly minted teenager and is still enjoying mastering new things.  But no matter the reason, one of my daughters has decided that she likes doing laundry.  What a blessing it was to have her do five loads yesterday!  I hope her fascination with laundry lasts.  The kindness of helping a working mother with piles of laundry cannot be overstated.

The Kindness of Extending Christmas

"Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~ Dale Evans

I love Christmas and I believe the longer the better.  It is great fun to receive packages that arrive before Christmas, which we place under the tree to open Christmas morning.  And then there are the gifts that arrive after Christmas that help us extend the holiday.  Yesterday, we received Christmas in a box.  Our very thoughtful friends who live in another city sent us a box with a cornucopia of gifts -- each one very carefully selected for the recipient.  One of the highlights of the box was a gigantic stuffed animal that somehow fit into the box and then magically expanded as he was released from his brown box cage.  My children have spent the day playing with their just-received gifts.  And every time I see the stuffed animal -- which happens to be an alien -- I marvel at the magic of thoughtfulness and the blessing of friendship.

Kindness at the Retailer

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
~ Scott Adams

Doing some pre-Christmas shopping at a major retailer, I ended up having a conversation with the cashier, a young woman who generously shared all her cost-cutting tips.  She told me about a mobile phone app that would save me money.  And when I said that I did not think I had space on my phone for it, she ran back to where her purse was kept and brought out her own phone to show me.  She then proceeded to scan each of my items with her phone to see if there were any additional savings to be had.  I truly appreciated her eagerness to help me, and I left the store encouraged by her kindness.

A Simple Birthday Kindness

"A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer."
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Recently, it was the birthday of an older gentleman in our community -- he was turning 86.  A female friend of his who lives nearby was too sick to get out of bed, but she wanted to make sure that he received something special on his birthday, so she asked her daughter to get him balloons and a card, and leave them on his doorstep.  The gentleman called his friend to say that she had made his day.

The Kindness of Chocolate Cookies

"Chocolate is the first luxury.  It has so many things wrapped up in it:  Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good."
~ Mariska Hargitay

One of my colleagues in another city introduced me to a delicious confection in her hometown.  The perfect cookie for a chocoholic.  I have not seen it in any other city to which I have been.  Imagine my delight when I recently opened a box that she sent with a tin of the cookies for my family and me for Christmas!

The Kindness of Grilled Veggies for Christmas

"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."
~ Charles Dudley Warner

A couple friend of ours gave us one of the best gifts that you can give a family with a vegetarian and no skilled cooks: a container of deliciously grilled vegetables.  It is amazing what thoughtful people can come up with as gift ideas. 

Merry Christmas!

Kindness and my Steadfast Friend

"People give one another things that can't be gift wrapped."
~ Nadine Gordimer

Decades ago when we were single, my steadfast friend and I were constant companions.  Whether it was going out to eat, the movies or just running errands, it never took much to get her out of the house.  She was -- and is -- one of the most easygoing people I know. But life gets complicated and we are no longer those completely carefree young women. But every so often...  I recently called her on my way to the mall for a last bit of Christmas shopping.  I asked her if she wanted to -- and could -- come.  To my delight, she said yes and so we spent the next few hours together.  I was reminded again of the preciousness of time and grateful that she spent those hours with me -- it was the perfect Christmas gift.

 

Kindness, Handy Friends and that Christmas Feeling

"Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~ Dale Evans

We recently moved back into our apartment after an unforeseen and involuntary repair project.  With Christmas coming, we were eager to get our home back to feeling like home.  On an evening very close to Christmas -- Christmas Eve Eve, as my children call it, a married couple friends of ours came over to help us hang a few pieces of art work.  Hanging turned into assembling a desk and a few other things.  Nearly five hours later, our friends -- looking a little more tired than when they arrived -- went home.  But not before they had hung our paintings, organized our kitchen, built a desk and treated us to pizza.  As all this work was being done, we listened to Christmas music.  We ended the evening singing songs that reminded us of our parents...  And it finally felt very much like Christmas.

The Kindness of a Weekend

"My favorite things in life don't cost any money.  It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time."
~ Steve Jobs

My friend who moved to the other side of the world was in town for the holidays.  A few months ago, we planned a weekend away with both of our families during their time in the States.  My friend always says, "If it's important, you schedule it."  And so we did.  As the weekend approached, we realized that it never would have happened if we had not scheduled it.  So many things would have gotten in the way and indeed life threatened to interrupt our weekend.  But we held fast and enjoyed a long weekend at a beach resort with both our families.  We had an amazing time and were all grateful for the time together.  Time truly is the greatest gift.

The Kindness of the Sneaker Santa

"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."
~ Brad Garrett

At a business meeting a few weeks ago, a friend and professional colleague who works at an athletic footwear distributor asked for everyone's shoe sizes and mailing addresses.  He said that he wanted to send everyone at the meeting a pair of sneakers for Christmas. 

In the days after the meeting, I rounded up the addresses and the shoe sizes.  And I asked my friend if instead of providing my shoe size, I could give him the size of a gentleman who could really use a pair of shoes.  But I explained that I was having trouble finding the gentleman to get his shoe size.  The Sneaker Santa told me not to worry -- that whenever I obtained the size of the gentleman, I could send it to him and he would make sure that we got the shoes.  In the meantime, I sent him the shoe sizes for the members of the group, including mine.  And then I forgot about it.

On one of those Christmas-week days when you are seriously wondering how to get everything done, I received my brand new pair of sneakers.  I was thrilled!  It was such a treat -- and despite my gathering the shoes sizes, it felt unexpected.  I called the Sneaker Santa to thank him and told him what a great idea it was.  He laughed, and I heard the joy in his laughter and knew there was a twinkle in his eye.  I suspect the Sneaker Santa enjoyed sending off the presents as much as we enjoyed receiving them.  And I know that whenever I look down at the shoes, I will smile as I remember how I came to have them.

The Kindness of a Dessert Recommendation

“One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time.”

 -  Herman Hesse

Most people don’t talk to strangers.  But there are certain settings when people seem to feel that it’s okay.  One of those places is restaurants.  The other night while we were dining with friends, a gentleman who was leaving the restaurant stopped by our table to tell us how good one of the desserts was.  It was nice to get the dessert recommendation, but the unexpected friendliness was even nicer.

Early-Morning Kindness

“Love and kindness go hand in hand.”

 -  Marian Keyes

On a recent morning, my first sense of the day was a soft blanket being tucked around me and a light kiss on my cheek. My son woke up before anyone else and decided that I might be cold, so he wrapped his favorite blanket around me.

The Kindness of Honoring the Line

“The main thing that you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.”

 -   Ed Sheeran

Everybody seems to be rush rushing these days. Stores, even grocery stores, are more crowded and everyone seems more impatient.  So I was surprised at the supermarket self check out when another woman let me know that there was a check out station available.  It would have been easier for her to just go ahead and take the turn and finish up earlier.

The Kindness of Santa's Helper

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."
~ Maya Angelou

Every year, I promise myself that I will begin planning for Christmas earlier.  Some years it has happened -- but this was not one of those years.  Instead, I found myself the night before my children's last day of school with way too many teachers' gifts to wrap.  Enter Santa's helper -- one of my daughters.  She took it upon herself to wrap not only her gifts, but also those of her siblings.  Where would any Santa be without a helper?

The Kindness of "Zero Stress"

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."
~ Saint Francis de Sales

I recently found out (realized?) that I had agreed to co-organize an event at one of my children's schools.  Between work and a never-ending and involuntary home renovation project, one more thing seemed unmanageable.  Thank goodness, my co-organizer is a take-no-prisoners real doer who took charge of the event, graciously asked my opinion and filled in in all the spots where I could not.  Her motto seems to be "zero stress," so whenever I asked her what I could do or how we could get something done, she would find an easy solution and finish with her "zero stress" mantra.  One of the things I needed to do was to send a baby photo of one of my children, which did not seem doable given that nearly all photos and albums were in boxes.  I finally took a mobile phone photo of a photo in a frame and texted it to her.  She said she would print it out for me and concluded her text with "zero stress."  I replied that I could see her angel wings from my house.

The Kindness of the Connecting Mom

"I think we all do have a guardian angel.  I believe they work through us all the time, when we are thoughtful and good and kind to each other."
~ Roma Downey

I have a friend who has a full plate.  In fact, she is dealing with more than any of us would want.  She is seeing her husband through a serious illness and she is in the middle of moving and a nightmare renovation.  In the midst of her craziness, she called me about a young man who was just admitted into the college of his dreams.  The challenge is that now his family has to figure out how to pay for it.  My friend was looking for guidance for the parents and was wondering if I could connect them with someone who might be able to help them navigate the maze of financial aid.  I told her that the family was blessed to have her as a friend.  "I connect people," she said, "that's what I do."  I have no doubt that with an angel like that on their side, these parents will be able to get their son to his dream school.

The Kindness of Perpetual Reminders

“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”

 -  David Ogden Stiers

My mother likes to remind her children about important events in each other’s lives – birthdays, anniversaries…  You can always tell when my mother has issued one of her reminders because felicitations appear immediately and simultaneously.

The Kindness of the "Boy's Mom"

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."
~ Jackie Kennedy

One of my daughters recently attended a holiday formal at her school.  It was her first date-accompanied dance.  Fortunately, she asked the son of my lovely friend to go with her.  And that is where the kindness of being the "boy's mom" really kicked in.  My lovely friend, being lovely after all, called to ask me if flowers would be appropriate.  At first, I said no, but then decided to make inquiries.  And while corsages don't seem to be as popular as they once were, the "mini-bouquet" is what girls seem to like these days.  So my lovely friend had a beautiful one made for my daughter.  I also suspect that there was some clothes shopping involved.  My daughter's "date" looked quite dapper in very shiny (new?) shoes, a very elegant tie, a nicely pressed shirt, navy blazer and gray slacks.  But the best thing that my lovely friend did is that she raised a kind young man with impeccable manners.  Yes, he is a super car-door opener (he did scale a bush once to open mine), but this young man understands that accompanying a friend to a dance means that you accompany her.  So even if you see your friends, you don't abandon the girl to spend the evening with them.  My daughter had a great time at the dance -- in no small part thanks to the kindness of my lovely friend.

The Kindness of the Manicure Elf

"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved.  It is God's finger on man's shoulder."
~ Charles Morgan

One of my dearest mom friends celebrated her birthday this week.  When she arrived at her Saturday morning manicure appointment, she discovered that an elf had already paid for her manicure.  Ah, the kindness of a Manicure Elf!

The Kindness of Making an Effort

"But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious.  And for that I am grateful."
~ Elizabeth Edwards

The other day as I was in my car outside the supermarket, a woman came to my car and asked if a roll of Christmas paper left in one of the grocery carts was mine.  It wasn't, but I appreciated the woman's effort to find the roll's owner.

Kindness and Car Service, Part 2

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
~ Winston Churchill

Have I mentioned that I'm glad I drive a Volvo?  Yep, it's those folks in the service department again.  I took my car in for routine maintenance and told my service advisor that I probably would not be able to pick it up until the next day.  But when a business meeting ended on time and traffic seemed in my favor, I headed toward the service department, hoping to make it before the 6 pm closing.  When it seemed that I might make it, I called and my service advisor answered.  He had already left, but the phone kicked over to his mobile.  He thought I was not going to pick up my car and he was finished, so he left.  But no worries, he told me.  He called the service department and explained to the cashier that I would be calling to pay over the phone and that if I didn't make it before closing, she should leave my keys with the dealership, which is open later.  I pulled in to the service department at 5:54 pm.  My car was washed and the cashier had my receipt printed and the keys ready.  I was so grateful.  A few minutes later, the service advisor called to make sure that I had gotten my car and that everything was fine.

Kindness and Blessings

"The words of kindness are more healing to a drooping heart than balm or honey."
~ Sarah Fielding

A woman I know was having a bad day -- not life-changing bad, just annoyance bad.  And then the blessings poured in.  A couple of friends texted; a parent at one of her children's schools gave her a book he thought she would find useful.  A college friend called and her faraway friend sent her one of the most thoughtful emails ever.  You just never know when reaching out can make a world of difference to the person who needs connection at that moment.

More Rain, More Kindness

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Where I live, we seem to be having an extended rainy season.  And kindness seems to follow the rain.  In just one day, I enjoyed or witnessed several rainy-day kindnesses.

There was the woman who came to hold an umbrella over my head and walked me to my car.

There was the woman who lent me her umbrella, so that I could run to get my car.

And there were two store employees who mounted a Christmas tree on top of an older woman's car as the rain fell on them.  (The older woman shared that she decided to get her tree on a rainy day, figuring not too many people would be in her way.)

The Kindness of a Donut Saved

"It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all."
~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Donuts are in high demand at my house, but I rarely buy them because after all, who really needs to eat a donut?  But somehow, a box found its way to our kitchen.  As our babysitter was leaving our house one evening, she told my son, "Make sure you save me a donut."  He said he would, but I did not think too much about it.  A couple of hours later as I tidied up the kitchen, I saw that my son had written on a napkin that a donut needed to be saved for the babysitter and had covered the box with the napkin.  I later overhead him telling his siblings that they had to save a donut for her.  Given his penchant for all things sweet, I know it was a sacrifice for him to keep his promise.

Kindness and Magic Bars

"All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
~ Charles M. Schulz

For years, one of my favorite desserts has been something that seems to pop up at holiday time.  Some people call it Magic Bar; others call it Seven-Layer Cookie.  Whatever the name, this delicious concoction has a graham cracker crust and then layers that include condensed milk, chocolate chips and shredded coconut.  Cooked brownie-style in a pan, it is then cut up into small squares or rectangles.

To my delight, Magic Bars were one of the desserts at a holiday party I recently attended.  I mentioned to one of the servers how much I enjoy them -- although she easily could have figured that out based on how many I ate.  To my surprise, as I was leaving, the caterer told me to wait and then handed me a sizable slab of un-cut Magic Bars.  I felt I had just been handed a gold bar!

Kindness on a Sad and Rainy Day

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."
~Albert Schweitzer

The day of my friend's funeral service was gray and rainy.  But I somehow did not take an umbrella with me.  When I parked at the church, a gentleman with a large umbrella came to my car to walk me in.  I thanked him and asked him if he worked at the church or the school.  No, he replied, but his wife worked at the school.  I later saw her among the administrators who were closest to my friend.

Most of the time when we are trying to accompany loved ones as they mourn, there is little that we can do.  This gentleman decided to help whom he could.  And those of us who benefitted from his umbrella were very grateful.

Kindness and Car Service

"People are basically the same the world over.  Everybody wants the same things -- to be happy, to be healthy, to be at least reasonably prosperous, and to be secure.  They want friends, peace of mind, good family relationships, and hope that tomorrow is going to be even better than today."
~Zig Ziglar

I love the folks at the service department where I take my car.  Over the years, they have extended numerous kindnesses.  The most recent one was on a Friday evening.  As I drove to pick up one of my children from an after-school activity, a warning light turned on on the dashboard saying that I had "very low" tire pressure.  It was nearly 6 pm, which is when the car service department at the dealership closes.  I tried calling, but could not get through to anyone, so I quickly drove there, arriving minutes before 6 pm.  Nearly everyone was gone.  I explained what happened to the one service advisor left and he immediately called a remaining mechanic to take a look.  The mechanic drove off with my car and returned a few minutes later.  He told me that all the tires were low on air, so he filled them all and I was good to go.  No charge.  Peace of mind: priceless.

The Kindness of an Imperceptible Gesture

"Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

On my way out of a restaurant with two business colleagues, one of them pointed out a step down that was easy to miss.  "Watch your step," she said and put her hand momentarily under my elbow.  An almost imperceptible -- but incredibly thoughtful -- gesture.

Kindness at the Grocery Store

"That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."
~ William Wordsworth

The other night, I found myself at the grocery store when I would have rather been already at home at the end of a long day.  When I tried to find a cashier, the lines were pretty long at all of the lanes.  Just then, I saw the store manager walk by and I asked him if he would consider opening another cashier lane.  Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, one of the cashiers walked up to me and told me she was opening up #5.  I was delighted to be able to leave just a little faster and greatly appreciated the manager's kindness.

Kindness -- Like Father, Like Son

"His attentive treatment of her had nothing to do with the presumption that she was weak, and everything to do with the conviction that she was valuable."
~ Angela N. Blount

As I was leaving an event recently, I saw my lovely friend's car pull up to the entrance of the building we had just exited.  "You valet parked the car?" I asked my friend, thinking it curious as we usual park in the lot.  She smiled and said that her husband had gone to get the car.  I watched her husband get out of the car and open all the doors of the car, so that my friend, her mother and their children could all comfortably enter.  And I remembered an evening where his son jumped over a bush in his haste to open my car door.  Chivalry runs deep in that family.