The Challenge of Love -- Kindness

“Even a little child can scatter flowers, to scent the throne room with their fragrance; even a little child can sing, in its shrill treble, the great canticle of Love.  That will be my life: to scatter flowers – to miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word, always doing the tiniest thing right, and doing it for love.”

~ St. Therese of Lisieux

Today is the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux.  Therese’s legacy to us is her Little Way – she was determined to do even the smallest things with love.  This included, for example, trying to find the best in annoying people and attempting to be kind when it would be easier not to be.

In every moment, we have the opportunity to respond in love – to the person in front of us, to the situation, to our own reactions…  What would our lives be like if we decided to show love in every situation?  Or even in most of them?  That would be the ultimate in kindness. 

The Kindness of an Offered Seat

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

A mom friend of mine was traveling with her two children but without her husband.  The two children were seated together with a young woman next to them.  One of the children was visibly unhappy to be sitting without her mother.  The young woman noticed and offered her seat to my mom friend, so that the mom could sit with her children.  It may have been a minor inconvenience to the young woman, but for my friend and her daughter, the generous gesture went a long way toward calming frayed nerves.

Kindness, Joy and Connection

“Joy is prayer; joy is strength; joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”

~ Mother Teresa

A mom I know was on vacation and in her hotel room with her two children when the housekeeper knocked on the door.  The mother answered the door and before she could say anything, the housekeeper said, “I speak very little English – I speak French.”  The mother dusted off her college French and told the housekeeper that she could speak a little French.  The housekeeper gave her a huge smile and a double high five. They spoke in French as they changed out the towels and emptied the trash cans.  The housekeeper shared that she had come from West Africa just a few months before with her four children.  She showed the other mother photos of her children and her husband, who had arrived in the U.S. several years earlier.  The mother introduced her two children to the housekeeper and the children greeted the housekeeper in French.  Before she left, the housekeeper double high-fived the mom again and they shared a hug.  The mom thought it was a great start to her day and I imagine the housekeeper did, too.

Kindness at Starbuck’s

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Due to an unexpected bridge closing, I found myself unable to get to my desk and so I opted to charge my phone and regroup at a Starbuck’s.  It was very crowded when I arrived and it was not easy to find an available electrical outlet.  I finally found one and asked a young man sitting closer to it that I was if he would mind plugging in my phone.  Not at all, he said with a smile, and then offered to move over, so that I could have a seat.

Kindness and an Opened Door

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

The other day I was running to my car in the rain.  My passenger had made it to the car before me and was already in the front seat.  As I approached my car, she opened the driver's side door so that I could get in easier.  Even the smallest kindness matters.

The Kindness of an Extra Dessert

“Unless generosity of spirit prevails among men, there can never be upon earth an ideal life.”

~  Orison Swett Marden

The other day, I had lunch at a restaurant with a small group of family and friends to celebrate a birthday.  The food was delicious and we had all eaten more than we intended, so when it was time for dessert, we decided to order a piece of pie to share.  In addition to the pie, the server brought a piece of cake courtesy of the owner, who said that one dessert was not enough for all of us.

Birthday Kindness

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.”

~  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A teenager I know was having a birthday.  Her younger brother decided that he would help decorate, so he made paper garland and a big Happy Birthday sign.  He also made copies of a photo of his sister’s face and placed them around their home.

Kindness in the Air

“You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give.”

~ Patti LaBelle

A woman I know is not a very good traveler – by air, that is.  Flying on a good day makes her nervous.  A bad flight is a problem.  Recently, after a couple of days of daily flights, she was on a rough one.  Thankfully, she was sitting next to a very nice older woman, a neurologist, who talked to her calmly, and guided her through breathing and meditation.

The Kindness of an Ask

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An older woman I know asked me to make a strata – a casserole-type dish – for a special event at church.  Not being much of a cook, I was a bit nervous about her request, but I told her that if she gave me a simple recipe, I would do it.  She sent me a recipe that fortunately did not include too many ingredients.  The day before I needed to produce the strata, she texted me to ask if I had any questions.  No – because at that point I had not even started.  When I finally began to make the dish, I did have questions, but it was too late to call her, so I just did what made the most sense.  The next day, I showed up with my strata, hoping that it would turn out close to what she was expecting.  She oohed and aahed over my dish and told me that mine had turned out better than hers.  Impossible, I know, but she did get me to do something that I did not think I could do.

Kindness and T.H.I.N.K.

“Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years.”

~  Joseph B. Wirthlin

The other day, someone shared with me the concept of T.H.I.N.K.  Before we speak, we should ask ourselves the following about what we are going to share:

T – Is it true?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it inspiring? Or will it improve on the silence?

N – Is it necessary?

K – Is it kind?

If we apply this, it definitely cuts down on what we say.  And as I realized recently when I stopped myself from making a gratuitous comment, that might not be a bad thing.

Kindness at the Airport

“I always say that kindness is the greatest beauty you can have.”

~ Andie MacDowell

I recently was making my way through a familiar airport, but I exited the train that takes passengers between terminals at the wrong spot and got a bit turned around.  I asked an airport employee who was pushing an empty wheelchair how to get to where I was going.  “Come with me,” she said and led me back onto the train.  Once we arrived at the main terminal, she walked with me and then pointed me in the right direction.  And along the way, we had a pleasant conversation.

The Kindness of a Smile

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.”

~  William Arthur Ward

The other day as I was walking through an airport terminal, a gentleman walking toward me smiled at me.  I smiled back.  And kept smiling.

Late-Night Kindness at the Hotel

“Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time.”

~ Ron Hall

I recently found myself checking into a hotel after midnight with a couple of colleagues after a very long day of meetings and travel.  One of my colleagues asked the gentleman at the front desk if there was somewhere to get a Diet Coke.  The gentleman said that he would get her one from the employee vending machine – the only place to get one at that hour.  I then asked if the vending machine had water. He said no, but he went to the employee refrigerator and gave me a cold water bottle.

Early Morning Kindness on the Road

“Pour God’s love out of you in pitcher fulls, not thimbles.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Whenever I travel, I end up writing about kindnesses on the road.  I think the reason that I find them so meaningful is that when we travel alone, we are always with strangers and never at home in the way that we are with family and close friends.  Sometimes those random interactions with strangers give us the connection to others we all need.

As I was boarding a recent flight, a gentleman behind me helped stow my bag in the overhead.  It turned out that he was sitting next to me.  Before the flight took off, I saw him unbuckle his seat belt and wondered what he was doing.  He stood up to help a woman a couple of rows ahead with her luggage.  Not surprisingly, when we landed, this same gentleman pulled my bag out of the overhead and then placed my smaller bag on top of it.  As the passengers were deplaning, I let a boy of about 8 go in front of me.  He turned around with a big smile and thanked me.  Again, I was surprised, but happy to encounter so much kindness before 9 a.m.

Kindness and a Yearbook Project

“Do all the good you can.”

~ John Wesley

I recently spoke to a friend who is very involved in his former high school.  His involvement includes raising money for the school, organizing events, mentoring students and more.  However, one project with which he has been involved really caught my attention.  He and a handful of other alumni decided to collect as many yearbooks from the school as possible, scan them and make them available to the school’s alumni online.  His alma mater had its roots in Cuba, so they have located many of those yearbooks – all more than 50 years old.  This project has enabled people to find not only themselves, but also parents, uncles and grandparents.  Just a couple of weeks ago, an alumnus traveling in Scotland met a woman whose father had graduated from the school in Cuba.  With a few clicks on his phone, the alumnus was able to pull up a yearbook from nearly 80 years ago and show it to this woman in Scotland.  I have no doubt that there are more stories like that – made possible by a small group of determined men who could not foresee the good that their effort would do.

Happy Fathers’ Day!

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.”

~ John Wooden

So much kindness to appreciate on Fathers’ Day.  A friend who lost her father years ago and her uncle this week posted a photo of the two brothers, doctors both, on social media.  At her uncle’s funeral this week, she recalled how her uncle had taken on even more of a paternal role within the family after her father’s passing.  My childhood friends remembered our fathers in our group chat.  Our fathers are all gone now, but the memories and the kindnesses remain.  Thanks to the fathers, the grandfathers, the uncles and all the other men who have brought kindness and so much more into our lives.  Always in our hearts.

Kindness and Photos

“Photography to me is catching a moment which is passing, and which is true.”

~  Jacques-Henri Lartigue

The other day, someone mentioned to me that no one prints out photos anymore.  I thought about that as one of my children shared a beautiful birthday card that a friend had given her.  My daughter's friend had tucked several small photos of the two of them inside the card.  The thoughtfulness made my daughter very happy.

The Kindness of a Weekend Invite

“Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.”

~ H. Jackson Browne, Jr.

One of my childhood friends lives in another city.  She recently invited our group of friends from elementary school for a weekend at her home.  Members of our small group of friends are coming from across the country and places in between to spend a couple of days with old friends.

Kindness and a Mentor

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

~  Henry Adams

Yesterday was a friend of mine’s birthday.  She would have been 110 years old, but she died a number of years ago.  This friend was one of my high school teachers and a very important mentor.  She taught me many things, and was a constant and long-time source of support and encouragement.  Long after I left high school, I called her when things got tough.  And she was always there.  I think of her often and always on her birthday.

Kindness and a Local Shop

“There is a spiritual aspect to our lives – when we give, we receive – when a business does something good for somebody, that somebody feels good about them!”

~  Ben Cohen

There is a small shop close to where I live that carries a variety of items from gifts to stationery.  A few weeks earlier, I had seen a scarf that I really liked, but I did not buy it.  I stopped by the shop last week to buy something else and looked for the scarf.  Not seeing it, I asked if they had any more.  No, they told me – they had sold out pretty quickly.  A couple of days ago, I received a call from one of the saleswomen, who told me that she had found the scarf I liked and was holding it for me.

The Kindness of Not Trying to Sell

“Our attitude towards others determines their attitude toward us.”

~  Earl Nightingale

Two college friends I know went to a department store to buy make-up.  One friend was in search of a better foundation and a salesperson suggested she try a particular line.  The make-up artist at the counter helped the friend find a good match.  When the second friend asked if he thought she needed a new foundation, the make-up artist said that her foundation worked, but he gave her a sample of something she might want to try.  When the first friend saw that the makeup artist was not trying to sell her friend something, she felt much more comfortable buying the few items that he recommended.

Kindness and Acknowledgement

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

~  Ken Blanchard

On a recent Sunday after church, I overheard one of the parishioners tell the priest how much she had enjoyed the sermon.  The woman told the priest that she had been moved to tears.  I have heard from other priests that it is difficult to stand up and deliver a homily, so I can only imagine how much this priest appreciated the heartfelt feedback.

Kindness and Hospitality

“Any celebration meal to which guests are invited, be they family or friends, should be an occasion for generous hospitality.”

~ Julian Baggini

After a church service we attend, there is a coffee hour in the parish hall.  Different members of the congregation host it every Sunday.  There is a couple at church who regularly host the coffee hours every month.  When the parishioners realize that it is this particular couple’s turn, they are thrilled as this couple always goes above and beyond.  One woman I know tells me that she does “a happy dance” because she knows that we will be in for a special treat.  We can be sure to enjoy homemade casseroles and baked sweets in abundance.

Kindness and the Gift of Time

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern.”

~ Joel Osteen

Recently, I had the pleasure – a real treat – of spending an evening with several of my closest friends.  What I appreciated the most was that they spent time with my family and me.  One friend had her daughter home from college; another family was leaving on vacation the next day.  Another friend lingered even though she was tired.  The best memories are made of these kinds of gifts – time spent together.

Small Town Kindness

“We are here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W. H. Auden

I recently heard a story from a fire department chief about life in his small community.  The fire chief’s grandmother, who is in her 90s, had gotten lost walking.  A police officer saw her and realized that she needed help, so he stopped and made sure that she got back home.

Traffic Kindness

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

I live in a city that is routinely rated as one of the most unfriendly in which to drive.  However, on a recent morning, I encountered two drivers who, with a flicker of their lights, let me know that they were going to help me out.  In the first case, I was trying to make a left turn without a traffic light and a car coming in the opposite direction, stopped and flicked the lights to let me know I could turn.  In the second, I had to change lanes as an ambulance had stopped in my lane to assist someone and again, with a flick of the lights, someone let me merge into the other lane.  Small things and yet, they made my life a little easier and the kindnesses – by strangers –  made me smile. (Think of how many people are thrown off by a nasty encounter on the road.)  It reminded me that we can positively impact others with just a little effort.  

Kindness and Generosity

“Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity.”

~ José Martí

A woman I know went to get a manicure and pedicure after a too-long hiatus.  When she arrived at the salon, she realized that she had forgotten to take flip flops with her to protect her pedicure on her way home.  She told the manicurist that she would wear the salon-provided pedicure slippers.  The manicurist told her that the salon owner thought that because it had rained, it was too slippery for anyone to wear those out.  As they talked about what to do, the manicurist told the woman to try on the manicurist’s sandals and that she could wear those to leave.  Once they were finished, the woman said that she would wear the manicurist's sandals to her car and then drive close to the door of the salon and return them.  The manicurist refused and insisted that the client keep her sandals.

The Kindness of Joining in Effort

“You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus and the support.”

~ Sabrina Bryan

I recently offered a cookie to a friend who was visiting.  She declined the offer and explained that she was joining her husband in his efforts to eat healthier by avoiding sugar.  

Sisterly Kindness

“Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister.”

~ Alice Walker

Sisters bicker and sometimes even fight, but if we are lucky, they also come through when we need them to.  And so it was with two teenage sisters.  One had a dinner invite and the other helped with hair and makeup.  She even lent the going-out sister her favorite purse.  And then the stay-at-home sister waited by the door for her sister to come home.

Kindness, Whipped Cream and Conversation

“My idea of a good night has always been having a lovely meal and a proper conversation.”

~ Kirsty Gallacher

Although I am a morning person, I recently found myself at an all-night diner waiting for a post-prom crowd of teenagers to finish socializing.  I ordered a rare treat – chocolate chip pancakes – and then decided to go for the gusto:  I asked the server for whipped cream.  She gave me a big smile and returned with the can of whipped cream.  She told me to go for it.  After I smothered my pancakes in whipped cream, she gave me a high five.  As sleepy as I was, I enjoyed not only my late-night breakfast, but also the friendliness of the server, with whom we had a nice conversation about parenting, cell phones and socializing in the era of social media.

Kindness and the Matchmaking Teen

“True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

A very thoughtful teenager I know decided not to go to her school prom.  The young man she wanted to take did not want to go.  They had already gone to his school prom and he was prommed out.  But none of that stopped this teenager from setting up several of her girlfriends with young men she knows as prom dates.  She even met up with the couples after the prom at a diner for some post-prom fun.

Kindness and Chivalrous Young Men

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”

~ Albert Schweitzer

Two middle-school boys were in a building elevator when an older woman carrying a vase of flowers entered.  One of the boys pushed the elevator button for her and the other offered to carry her flowers.  I don’t doubt that these two boys made the older woman’s day – or at the very least made her smile.

Kindness and Sharing the Music

“Music is a moral law.  It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.”

~ Plato

I was very intrigued when I heard one of my children playing the Eagles’ Hotel California – on her phone, of course.  As hard as it is to believe, that song is more than 40 years old!  It turns out that her junior high English teacher was partial to the Eagles and to that tune in particular.  More recently, I heard her playing the Beatles.  That introduction is thanks to her history teacher.  Many times, children learn much more than subject content from their teachers and I am grateful that some of these teachers are sharing their love of music.  

A Little Kindness

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

Sometimes it’s the littlest things – literally.  As I was checking out at a medical office recently, I tried to erase an appointment in my agenda with a pencil I had only to find that the eraser was one of those that makes a bigger mess than what you are trying to erase.  The person working at the front desk noticed and gave me one of those erasers that you attach to the top of your pencil.  I am not sure when was the last time that I had one of those, but it continues to come in handy.  I am grateful for the woman’s thoughtfulness and continue to marvel at the impact of even the smallest kindness.

Kindness and Art Left Behind

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”

~ Pablo Picasso

An artist I know was recently feeling in a generous mood, so he left a drawing where someone could find it as a small way to brighten the recipient’s day.

The Kindness of Sharing Details

“It’s the little details that are vital.  Little things make big things happen.”

~ John Wooden

A mom I know is incredibly thoughtful about sharing details with the other mothers when she is taking our children somewhere.  Recently, she texted us with the details for an upcoming outing, which included when she would be with the children as well as the specifics about transportation.

Kindness and the Gift of Light

“We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.”
~ Ben Sweetland

Several months ago after the area in which we live survived another hurricane, one of my dearest friends gave me several hurricane lanterns. We had used similar ones during our hurricane evacuation at her house. These lanterns came in super handy on a recent evening when our power went out. My children were able to continue to study for their upcoming finals and I was able to safely navigate my home without electricity thanks to my friend’s thoughtfulness.

Kindness, a Rainy Day and Orchids

“The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was a gray and rainy Saturday, but that did not stop a couple of teenagers from volunteering at an orchid sale to raise money for pediatric HIV-AIDS patients.  They helped to set up the sales stand, they unloaded orchids, they worked the cash register and they smiled –through the rain – at the other people who braved the weather to help the cause.

The Kindness of a Parking Lot Attendant

“Kindness makes a fellow feel good whether it’s being done to him or by him.”

~ Frank A. Clark

On a recent rainy afternoon, I tried to find parking next to a busy bakery.  There was a parking attendant there and so I asked him where was the best place for me to park.  He very kindly told me to pull over to the side and told me to wait until one of the cars close to the door pulled out.  When he saw a driver leaving, he signaled for me to take the spot.

Kindness and a Sticker

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

~ Audrey Hepburn

A few years ago, one of my dearest friends gave me a sticker for my car of a stick yoga figure.  She and I both love yoga.  I rarely put anything on my car, but I love this sticker and so I put it on my rear window.  Every time I see it as I walk toward my car, I smile.  It reminds me of my friend and her infinite thoughtfulness, it makes me think about yoga and it lifts my spirits.  Who knew that a sticker could do so much?

Kindness and Directions

“The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.  But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.”

~ Chanakya

On my way to a board meeting at a local hospital, I met a couple of the other board members at the front of one of the buildings on the hospital campus.  Our meeting was scheduled in a new conference room, but none of us knew where it was.  As we were discussing possibilities, a hospital employee who seemed to be going home walked by and asked if she could help us.  We told her that we were trying to find our meeting.  She walked us to the building where the new conference room is.

Kindness and Wasting Time

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

~ J.R.R. Tolkien

I recently read a teaser to an article:  “Sometimes we just need to waste time with each other.”  It certainly grabbed my attention.  The article was about the importance of dialogue and conversation with those we love.  It also talked about the role of dialogue in learning.  But what resonated with me about the initial teaser – the wasting time bit – is how it connects to kindness.  I have friends with whom I waste time.  Sometimes it’s a silly conversation; sometimes it’s laughing and lingering after a meal.  Underneath what looks like wasting time is the desire to just be together, to revel in each other’s company – even if we are engaged in silly conversation.  What may seem to be wasting time with someone is really spending time – and sharing our life -- with that person.  And that is a gift.

The Kindness of Dinner Delivered

“Sometimes we should express our gratitude for the small and simple things like the scent of the rain, the taste of your favorite food, or the sound of a loved one’s voice.”

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

On a recent evening, my mother called to say that she would be stopping by our favorite burger place, which is quite a distance from our house, and would we like anything.  We were going to have a less exciting dinner, but those plans were quickly scrapped while we each put in our orders.  And not long after, my mother arrived with a delicious dinner.

The Kindness of an Empty Seat

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I arrived at a luncheon at a church’s parish hall recently and looked around for a place to sit.  Most of the seats were taken.  An older woman I know waved at me, and told me that there was an available seat next to her.  

Kindness and the Moms’ Text Network

“The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.”

~ Dean Ornish

And among the upsides of technology...  On a recent prom night, the mothers of several girls and boys (young women and men?) kept in touch and shared photos via text.  I even received a couple of photos from a “spy” dad, who extended his phone around a wall to take some paparazzi-worthy candids.  It is always easier to navigate transitions – including letting go – when you are accompanied along the journey.

Kindness and the Fairy Godmother

“I knew I was loved.  And that’s such an important thing.  And, of course, at such an early age, you take it for granted.  Of course your parents love you.  Of course Mrs. Hubert across the street loves you and your godmother loves you and your grandparents love you.”

~ Jessye Norman

One of my children was going to a prom recently.  She would be wearing her first long dress.  Her godmother came over to see her before she left, which I thought was very thoughtful, especially as the godmother had just returned from an out-of-town business trip very late the night before.  Once my daughter was in her long dress, we tried a couple of my necklaces to see what might work, but they didn’t look quite right.  My daughter’s godmother took off a necklace she was wearing for my daughter to try on.  And it was perfect, so off my daughter went to the prom with her fairy godmother’s magic wand touch.

Kindness at the Valet

“As much as we need a prosperous economy, we also need a prosperity of kindness and decency.”

~ Caroline Kennedy

At an office building’s valet stand, a woman explained to the valet parker that she had a credit card but no cash.  Although the service advertises that it accepts credit cards, the machine was not working.  Another customer quietly told the valet parker that she would pay for the women’s ticket and the woman was soon on her way.

Kindness and an Angel Named Gabriel

“But the angel said..., 'Do not be afraid.'”

~ Luke 1:13

A woman I know does not like to fly, but she has to for work, so she does.  On a recent flight, she experienced the worst turbulence she probably has ever been through.  The pilot kept getting rerouted to avoid a bad storm system, but there was a lot of lightning and the plane took quite a number of “deep dips” as another passenger put it.  A gentleman sitting across the empty middle seat from the woman ended up being an angel.  The woman asked him to talk to her because she was nervous, so he told her about his family, his daughters, his son-in-law and the birth of a recent grandchild.  They talked about religion, too.  When the turbulence got really bad, the gentleman asked the woman if she wanted to hold his hand.  She did and she squeezed this angel’s hand as hard as she could every time the plane took another dip.  She felt as though she was on a roller coaster with the lightning flashes as special effects.  But through it all, the woman held on tight to the angel’s hand and he kept telling her that it was going to be okay.  His name was Gabriel.

Kindness and a Little Directional Assistance

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.”

~ Ronald Reagan

I recently attended a meeting at a law firm in another city.  I stepped out of the conference room and got lost in the maze of the hallways.  As I walked by an office, a gentleman asked me if I was lost.  Yes.  He got up from his desk and walked me to where I needed to go.

In-Flight Kindness

On a recent flight, I ended up in a strange seat -- emergency row and bulkhead, which meant no place to stow my rollerboard and my underseat carry on. I had been late getting to the plane, so the overhead compartments near my seat had filled up. To my surprise and relief, one of the flight attendants told me he would out my rollerboard in the galley. He then found a space behind a seat in the row ahead of me for my other bag.

Kindness and the Heart of a Mother

“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother.”

~ St. Therese of Lisieux

Moms helping moms.  Always.  Even on Mother’s Day weekend. 

A single mom in our neighborhood was having a birthday party for her elementary school-age children.  But she had a cake emergency – a special decoration that she had ordered for the cake was not working.  Another mom, who had gone to drop off her children at the party, took the cake and ran it over to the grocery store to get it decorated.

And the same weekend, a high school mom was having a prom dress emergency.  One of her daughters needed a prom dress in less than a week and had not been able to find anything.  So this mom called one of her childhood friends, a fashion designer.  The designer was out of town, but had her daughter, who works with her, find a dress that would work and make the necessary alterations in time for the big event.

The “loveliest masterpiece,” a mother’s heart has room, love and kindness not only for her children, but also for other mothers and theirs.

Happy Mothers’ Day!

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.  When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe.  You relinquish that position to your children.”

~  Jessica Lange

There is no way to thank our mothers for all the kindnesses and love shared with us.  One day a year to celebrate mothers is not enough, but we can certainly celebrate them and thank them and even be patient with them as often as we can.  And if they are no longer with us, we can still give thanks for them and try to be the people they wanted us to be.

Kindness and Politeness

“Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all.  They’re underused.”

~ Tommy Lee Jones

On a recent evening, I was sitting in an empty school auditorium reading a book and waiting for one of my children’s concerts to begin.  A middle school girl entered and asked if she was disturbing me.  No, I said, and explained that I was early for the concert.  I told her I was my child’s mother.  She told me her name and said she was my child’s friend, and then extended her hand to shake mine.  Yes, I was completely impressed – that a parent had taught this child such nice manners and that this child had had the presence of mind to pay attention.

Wrong Number Kindness

“The main thing that you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.”

~ Ed Sheeran

I recently made a call to an office and after beginning to explain what I needed, I realized that I had dialed a different business!  Somewhat embarrassed, I apologized and explained that I had called the wrong number.  The woman who answered the phone could not have been nicer.

Small Town Kindness

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

~ Amelia Earhart

On a recent evening, one of my children and I were driving through the main street of our community, a small town.  As we drove by our fire station, we saw one of the firefighters sitting outside.  A mother and her toddler son walked by and stopped to chat with the firefighter.  He picked up the little boy in that way that children love to be lifted.  They all smiled and so did we.  And I was reminded of something I read years ago – that even those who merely observe a kindness are positively impacted.  In fact, seeing an act of kindness fills those who witness it with peace and thankfulness.

Kindness and a Book

“A book is a gift you can open again and again.”

~ Garrison Keillor

I recently ran into a neighbor who talked to me about a book that she found interesting.  I tried to remember the title, so that I could buy it.  But I didn’t quite catch the name, so I was not able to find it.  A couple of days later, I found a package outside my door – the book and a thoughtful note.

Kindness in a Box

“The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.”

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

After a long week, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a small, square box in the mail.  It seemed an odd size and shape for a mailed box.  I have never received anything like it.  Inside was one of the most unique thank yous I have ever received.  A friend of mine sent a card – shaped like a box -- that unfolds with photos of us and a beautiful note.  And inside this unusual card were caramels and tea! 

The Kindness of Sharing Love

“Love is the beauty of the soul.”

~ Saint Augustine

When I travel for work, I frequently rely on my wonderful mom friends to help out with after-school pick-ups and activity chauffeuring.  But my children get so much more than rides.  Whether it’s an after-school ice cream treat, a 7-11 Slurpie stop or the gift of a listen that these moms do so well, my children are blessed with the love that my amazing mom friends generously share.

The Kindness of an Assist at Security

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

At the airport for a recent flight, I was going through security when I dropped my work badge underneath the machine that scans the suitcases.  As I was trying to figure out how to get under it, a passenger behind me bent down and got the badge for me.

Kindness and Honor Flights

“The highest of distinctions is service to others.”

~ King George VI

At the airport recently, I heard a message over the public address system telling passengers that if they wanted to greet WWII veterans, they should go to a specific gate.  The gate was close to mine, so I walked over.  The gate was decorated with red, blue and white streamers and flags as well as other patriotic decorations.  I learned from a gentleman there about a nonprofit organization, Honor Flights, that takes veterans to Washington to see the memorials from the wars in which they were involved.  When the veterans arrive at one of the area airports, passengers in the terminal are invited to greet them.  There were dozens of people there.  Some appeared to be family members holding signs and waving flags.  But the majority were people who heard the announcement and came to greet and honor these veterans who sacrificed so much to serve our country.

Kindness, Gratitude and Shout Outs

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change opportunities into blessings.”

~ William Arthur Ward

At a recent business meeting I attended, a gratitude wall was designated along one side of the large room where the meeting was being held.  Post-It notes and pens were provided, so that people could write appreciations and then post them on the wall.  A number of the gratitude stickies were then read out.  They included shout outs to specific people, who were touched at the mention, as well as gratitude for a job, an opportunity to serve and colleagues in general.

Kindness… Just Because

“I try to say I love you in a million different ways.  That’s what I aspire to do. That’s what I do best.”

~ Christine McVie

I recently visited the home of a husband and wife, retired octogenarians.  As I was leaving, I noticed two flower arrangements.  I imagined that there must have been a birthday or anniversary.  When I commented on the flowers, the wife said that her children had sent them – just because.  She said that every so often they do that.

The Kindness of Teenage Example

“I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example, and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world.”

~ Misha Collins

A middle school boy I know was in the car with his mother and a friend of hers.  When they arrived at their destination, the boy jumped out of the back seat to open the car door for his mother’s friend.  The friend was pleasantly surprised and the mother was glad that her son was being kind.  The mother knew that her son’s kindness was in no small part based on the example of a teenage friend who exemplifies thoughtfulness and who always opens and closes the car door for others.

On-board Kindness

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

On a recent flight, I was seated on the aisle at the end of a three-seat row.  My row mates, a couple, were already seated.  As passengers continued boarding, another couple stopped at the row and said that they had those seats.  Apparently, the first couple had sat one row in front of their assigned seats.  They began to get up, but the other couple told them not to worry, that they would just sit in the row behind.

Kindness and Gentle Guidance

“No man or woman can be strong, gentle, pure, and good, without the world being better for it and without someone being helped and comforted by the very existence of that goodness.”

~ Philip Brooks

On a recent Sunday at church, I watched in awe as the regular acolyte – a middle-school student – gently guided a trio of 2nd- and 3rd-grade girls who did not have much experience serving.  With slight movements of his head and whispered directions, he led the girls through the various parts of the service.  Afterward, several parishioners complimented the girls on how well they did and I also overheard someone tell the regular acolyte what a nice job he had done training them.  How wonderful, I thought, to have someone guide you with such gentleness and kindness.  We would all welcome that – regardless of our ages or the challenges we face.

The Kindness of a Message

“If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out.  To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

~ Mother Teresa

During a recent sermon, our parish priest talked about how hard it can be to “walk the walk”  -- to be a good person.  But he was encouraging.  He talked about taking a small step and said to “just begin today.”  It occurred to me how effective and kind such a message is.

Parental Kindness

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.”

~ Brian Tracy

A friend of mine celebrated a birthday recently and his parents came from out of town to be with him.  My friend is in his mid-50s, but no matter – birthdays are very special for his parents and they wanted to celebrate his special day.

Kindness and the Gift of Time

“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal.  You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”

~ Barbara Bush

I was recently thinking about how precious the gift of time is.  And because time is so valuable, I am grateful to those who share their time with me – whether it’s the friend who lingers after a long lunch or the friends who join me for an impromptu dinner by the beach or the person whose advice I seek.  I am always amazed and humbled by this generous sharing.  And at least for me, when I think about the most special moments on any given day, they nearly always are the times shared with the people who are important in my life. 

Easy Kindness

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

It really doesn’t take much to brighten my day.  On a recent gray and rainy morning, I was trying to make a left turn onto a street.  After several cars passed, a car stopped and flashed its headlights signaling to me that the driver was letting me in.  Such a simple thing…  I’m sure the driver did not give it a second thought, but it definitely raised my happiness factor.

Kindness that Brightens your Heart

“Share your smile with the world.  It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.”

~ Christie Brinkley

I was driving to an early morning appointment and running a few minutes late, which made me feel a bit frazzled. As I approached a corner to make a turn, I saw an older woman pushing a grocery cart.  I don’t know who smiled first, but we exchanged smiles.  And as I continued on my way, I realized that that brief interaction with a stranger had lifted my spirits.

The Kindness of a Gracious Co-worker

“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.”

~ Francis Bacon

Many of us receive so many emails in one day that it is easy to blink and miss one every now and again.  Recently, it took me longer than usual to respond to a colleague’s email.  And yet, when she replied, this colleague -- whom I don't know well -- was so gracious that she made me smile.  How kind is that?

The Kindness of Keeping Tabs

“I love being nurturing and caring because I love to see other people happy.”

~ Jennifer Hudson

Some of my friends seem to like to keep tabs on me.  They want to know what my children are doing.  They ask me to send them photos of what is going on in my life.  And when I’m traveling, they want me to let them know when I get home.  Their caring makes me happy.

The Kindness of Thoughtful Appreciation

“Those who have the ability to be grateful are the ones who have the ability to achieve greatness."

~ Steve Maraboli

A teenage friend of my children recently joined us for an out-of-town weekend.  At dinner on our last evening together, she surprised each member of our family with a gift especially chosen for that person.  We were all incredibly touched.

Kindness on a Sunny Day

“I know what it is like to be brought up with unconditional love.  In my life that came from my grandmother.”

~ Andre Leon Talley

On a recent very hot afternoon, we were at an outdoor concert.  I realized that I had forgotten my son’s sun hat in the car, which was parked at quite a distance from where we were.  Enter my mother.  In a generous grandmother gesture, she took off her visor and put it on my son.

The Kindness of an Effusive Greeting

“Send out a cheerful, positive greeting, and most of the time you will get back a cheerful, positive greeting.  It’s also true that if you send out a negative greeting, you will, in most cases, get back a negative greeting.”

~ Zig Ziglar

I was recently having lunch with a mom friend when we spied another mom we know at a table on the other side of the restaurant.  We kept looking over, but did not get her attention, so we decided to send her a text.  Just as I was pressing send, this mom saw us, got up from her table and came to say hello.  With her characteristic super-size smile, she greeted us, gave us kisses and hugs, and talked with us for a few minutes.  She is the kind of person whose enthusiastic greetings always leave you smiling.

The Kindness of a Surprise Flower Bouquet

“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved: It is God’s finger on man’s shoulder.”

~ Charlie Morgan

A colleague recently shared that when his wife and their son go on their Trader Joe’s run, part of the adventure includes their son – who is four years old – choosing someone in the store to whom he gives flowers.  As the little boy and his mom walk through the store, he finds someone whose day he would like to brighten.  Then they buy the flowers and the little boy presents the surprised person with a bouquet.  

Kindness and Influence

“Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.”

~ George Eliot

On a recent evening, as I drove home after picking up the pumpkin loaves that have become part of our regular diet, I thought about my lovely friend.  I always think of her when I pick up this treat as she is the one who introduced me to it.  She also introduced me to the line of products that makes the handwash and perfume I use.  And then, more importantly, there are the books she has brought into my life and the wise perspectives that she shares.  My lovely friend is not an in-your-face person – quite the opposite.  But her influence has a constant and deep impact on my life and I am grateful for it.

The Kindness of a Photo

“Every photo you take communicates something about a moment in time – a brief slice of time of where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing.”

~ Kevin Systrom

I love it when my friends send me photos from their travels -- it truly is the closest thing to being there.  On a recent morning, I was surprised to wake up to a photo via text from a friend traveling in Europe.  It was a photo of a tombstone with my family’s name on it.  My friend had been walking through a cemetery in a small town when she noticed our family name on the gravestone, and thought I might like to see it, too. I appreciated her not only thinking about me, but also sending a photo that she knew would be meaningful to me.

The Kindness of a Family Assist

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”

~ Albert Schweitzer

On a recent Sunday morning, a mom I know was a little slower than usual in getting ready for church and running late.  Her husband kindly took their children, so that they would arrive on time.  After her husband and children left, the mother realized that she was supposed to read in church that day. She called one of her children so that the priest could find someone else to read.  When she finally arrived at church, the mother found out that her 12-year-old had been asked to step in and read for her.

Kindness and Community

“The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.”

~ Dean Ornish

On a recent evening in a church hall, a group of nearly 20 got together for dinner and a game of Bunco.  The dinner was potluck and at least half the group had no clue how to play the game.  But play they did and this group of people ranging in age from 15 to more than 80 had a wonderful time. The gathering was thanks to one of the church members who encouraged her friends – young and old – to join in for an evening of fun and fellowship.

The Kindness of a Dinner Assist

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.”

~ Ronald Reagan

On a recent busy evening at a Cuban restaurant, we sat next to a woman having dinner with her two daughters – one girl looked about 9 years old and the other about 4.  It became increasingly difficult for the mother to eat as the younger girl was incredibly active, running around the restaurant.  One of the servers came to the mother’s assistance.  She sat the little girl on her lap and distracted her.  When that seemed to run its course, the server picked up the younger daughter and walked around with her, so that the mother could finish eating.  We all need a little help from our friends – or sometimes the kindness of strangers.

Kindness to Self

“Enjoy the simple things. Don’t over complicate everything. Take a breath. Find some stillness. Stop to smell the flowers. Listen to the birds. Sit in the sunshine.”

~ Akiroq Brost

Life seems so frantic sometimes.  A friend of mine and I talk (or text) about being “rah-rah,” which has come to mean, I am so frazzled that I cannot even articulate the reasons why.  So I was pleasantly surprised the other day when an unplanned early morning errand got me to my first appointment of the day several minutes early.  I found myself spending time to make sure that my car was parked well enough to give my neighbor enough room, appreciating the greenery around me, and walking with a much more relaxed gait.  It felt like a treat.  Time is, after all, an incredible gift – even if it is to oneself – and I resolved to extend that kindness to myself more often.

The Kindness of a Postcard

“Take time to be kind and to say ‘thank you.’”

~ Zig Ziglar

A couple of years ago, I read an article about how rare handwritten letters are and recently, I saw an article about the disappearing postcard.  So I was especially delighted to receive a postcard in the mail handwritten by a young friend of my children.  He wrote to thank us for a gift card that we had given him and telling us that he had used it on his vacation.

Kindness and Violet Toilet Water

“Scents evoke very, very powerful memories, whether it’s the scent of someone that you know and someone that you love, or if it’s a meal that your mother made.”

~ Blake Lively

Years ago (actually, decades ago), one of my best friends from childhood introduced me to a very nice English violet toilet water.  We both used it for years.  And as happens with scents, I associated the smell with good memories and friendship.  Unfortunately, the scent was discontinued.  My friend, who now lives in another city, called recently to tell me that she had to explain a gift that she was sending me.  She had found a tester of the violet water that we liked so much at a store and she had convinced the salesperson to sell her the tester, so that she could give it to me. My wonderful friend did not want me to think that she had used the gift before sending it to me.