Kindness, Flowers and a Cake

"Every sunrise is an invitation for us to arise and brighten someone's day."

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

For the past few days, I have been enjoying a shallow container of bright pink carnations in my kitchen.  Every time I see the flowers, I think of a very special Italian friend who baked a cake for my birthday -- a ciambellone or a Tuscan ring cake.  I enjoyed the cake, too, but the flowers have lasted longer.  My friend baked the ring cake, placed the cake on a silver platter with pink carnations in the middle and then wrapped in all in cellophane.  She adorned the outside with a single pink carnation and a card, and then delivered it to my home.  When I think of all the steps that it takes to pull that off, I am so grateful for her generosity and thoughtfulness.

Kindness and the Cashier

"If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another."

~ Winston Churchill

There is a national grocery store that I love.  The products are good, the prices are low and it is not huge.  To top it off, staff members are incredibly helpful and friendly.  The other day, I had selected a few things to buy, including a body lotion I like, only to find a new scent of the lotion at the cashier -- pumpkin.  I asked the cashier if people seemed to like it and he said that anyone who tried it, bought it.  I said that there was no tester.  No problem, he created one.  After slathering some of it on my arm, I decided that I did not want to smell like pumpkin pie, but I still had a glob of the cream on me.  Did he have paper towel?  No, but he immediately ran across several other cashiers and brought back paper towel for me.  My teenage daughter, who was with me, commented on how friendly the cashier was. 

Kindness and Flowers

"Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy.  Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words 'for ever.'  But love can only be truly measured by actions.  It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don't like doing it."

~ Marian Keyes

One of my dearest friend's father passed away unexpectedly last week.  My friend's mother passed away a couple of years before and her father would always put fresh flowers at her grave.  This week, my friend's husband went to the cemetery and placed fresh flowers at my friend's mother's grave.

The Kindness of Responsiveness

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

~ Maya Angelou

A couple of weeks ago on a Friday afternoon, I reached out to a friend from high school on a community issue.  This is not someone with whom I communicate regularly.  In fact, I had to look in our alumnae directory for her number.  Not knowing if I had a current number, I left a message anyway.  Within a couple of hours, she texted me to say that she was at a conference, but that she could step out if I needed to speak with her immediately.  Otherwise, she said she could call me on her drive back to town the next day.  I have always respected this woman's kindness, but it still surprised me.

The Kindness of Birthday Greetings

"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."

~ Brad Garrett

Whichever way they come, birthday greetings are a treat.  The early morning texts, the calls, emails, cards and gifts...  I appreciate them all.  There were the very early morning texts from college friends, including one who is walking the Camino de Santiago.  There were the more unusual greetings:  my prom date from high school emailed from Slovenia.  Really.  And an Italian friend adapted a photo of a sculpture in the Borghese Gallery in Rome to turn it into a birthday greeting.  Then one of my dearest friends, who lost her father unexpectedly a week ago, spent time with me today -- what a gift.  I also was able to spend a few minutes with -- and get hugs from -- two of my oldest friends; I have known them for more than four decades!  From early morning cuddles to late-night debate viewing with family, it has all been special and I feel abundantly blessed.  Thank you! 

The Kindness of Sharing News

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."

~ Lucious Annaeus Seneca

A close friend from college called a couple of weeks ago to share that a mutual friend was going to have an operation, but that our friend was not ready to talk to many people about it.  Since then, my friend has updated me on our friend's progress on an almost daily basis.  She went to visit our friend and sent a photo of the two of them, and shared how well our friend is doing.  There are so many ways to be a good friend and I realized how keeping other friends informed when a friend is going through a difficult time is an important way to be a friend.

The Kindness of a Helping Hand

"We each have the power to give.  It's the most gratifying feeling ever.  By reaching out to help another human being you're sending ripples of positive change."

~ Dana Arcuri

A woman I know was at a lecture at a museum.  The woman next to her was holding a glass of wine, but was trying to find something in her purse.  Although she did not know the other woman, the first woman asked the second one  if she would like her to hold the glass while she looked in her purse.  Relieved, the second woman said yes and handed the first woman her glass.  She then continued looking in her purse for her mobile phone as she wanted to make sure that it was off for the lecture.

The Kindness of the Gift of an Afternoon

"Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it.  You can make more money, but you can't make more time.  When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.  Your time is your life.  That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time."

~ Rick Warren

A woman I know loves going to the movies, but, given that she has children, she rarely sees a not-child friendly movie.  On a day off from work, she decided that what she wanted to do most was to go to the movies.  She asked a friend, who also works, if she could join her.  Despite a busy afternoon, the friend joined her for lunch and a movie -- even though she had to handle issues at work and had to step out of the movie a couple of times to take calls.  It was a wonderful gift.

Kindness and an Orchid

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

I recently had lunch with a former boss and two colleagues.  The four of us get together for lunch several times a year.  It had been my former boss' birthday a couple of weeks before, so one of the others brought her a beautiful orchid.  He brought one for me, too!  The unexpected gift made me very happy.  And continues to do so as I think of his thoughtfulness every time that I walk by it.

Kindness in a Box

"A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer."

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I was driving home from an evening activity and thinking that I needed to text my friend on the other side of the world.  To my great surprise, when I got home, there was a box from her.  And what a bonanza in that box!  She sent me several gifts -- things she knew I would really like -- and two beautiful cards.  Knowing what it takes to gather the gifts and make it to the post office, I was so grateful for not only the gifts, but also the thoughtfulness and effort.  She completely made my day.

The Kindness of a Pass

"Many men have been capable of doing a wise thing, more a cunning thing, but very few a generous thing."

~ Alexander Pope

A friend of mine shared this story on Facebook:  Her car neighbor got a top-of-the-line Jaguar and my friend, who parks next to it, was nervous that she would hit it.  Well, she did.  She immediately went to the management office, so that they could call him.  The owner said that it was just a car and would not let my friend pay to get it fixed.

Kindness in a Birthday Card

"Kiss your life.  Accept it, just as it is.  Today.  Now.  So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for don't pass you by."

~ Unknown

I received a birthday card -- a week early -- from a dear college friend who was going into the hospital for surgery.  She said she was sending the card early because she was not sure that she would be able to send it after getting out of the hospital.  Amazing.  She had tucked inside the card a slip of paper with the message above printed on it.  What a reminder!  And what a friend. 

The Kindness of a Complimentary Text

"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment."

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

On a recent Sunday, one of my teenage daughters began teaching Sunday School at a church down the street from our home.  She was very excited about working with the children because she plans on being a teacher.  Later that day, the rector of the church sent me a very kind text telling me how glad she was that my daughter was teaching the children.  I read it to my daughter, who beamed.

Quiet Kindness

"Always be a little kinder than necessary."

~ James M. Barrie

On a recent flight, I thankfully sat next to two quiet gentlemen.  I was especially grateful because two passengers in the row ahead of me got into an argument about how one had treated the other's luggage.  A woman told another passenger who was trying to get his bag in the overhead that he was ruining her luggage.  That man got upset and then the woman's husband got into the conversation.  The man who had been trying to arrange the bags in the overhead told the couple that he was owed an apology.  A few minutes later, the woman's husband apologized.  I was glad to be in an uneventful row.  And when we landed, the gentleman in the aisle seat near me took my bag out of the overhead compartment -- without my asking.

Kindness, Cabs, Cars and Conversation

"A real conversation always contains an invitation.  You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want."

~ David Whyte

On a recent business trip, I ended up taking a few cabs as well as using an on-demand car service.  I rode with a mother of three children who lives with them and with a grandchild.  She begins driving after dropping off the younger two at school.  We talked about parenting and college.  I drove with a man from Bolivia, who was thrilled to be driving full-time.  We discussed problems in Latin American countries.  And late one evening, I spent time with a gentleman from Ethiopia.  He was not sure how to get to my destination, so I said that I would use my navigation app.  We both ended up laughing at the "boy band" voice that my children set in the app.  I learned several things at the conference I attended and heard very prominent people speak, but when I look back on the few days that I was away, these conversations are among the highlights.

The Kindness of Mentoring

"The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves."
- Steven Spielberg

I recently attended a black-tie event with a much younger colleague.  She wore a beautiful -- and very appropriate -- dress.  This young woman shared that early on in her career, she had mentioned to her boss that she was not sure that she was dressing appropriately at the office.  So the boss took her shopping one afternoon and helped her find clothes that suited her.  This young woman said that it was an incredible experience that she still greatly appreciates.

The Kindness of Sharing an Outlet… and Time

"There is real value in sharing moments that don't live forever."
- Evan Spiegel

At a convention center for a conference, I went looking for an electrical outlet to charge my low-battery phone.  As I scanned the walls for a not-taken outlet, a woman sitting on a couch asked me if I was looking for an outlet.  Yes, I replied.  She offered to share the outlet she was using and said that I could rest my phone on top of her backpack.  I sat down in a nearby chair and we ended up having a very nice conversation as we waited for our phones to power up.

Kindness, Hospitality and Chocolates

"All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
- Charles M. Schulz

I recently traveled to another city for work and stayed at one of my dearest friend's homes.  My friend is an incredible hostess and her generous hospitality knows no bounds.  She picks me up from the airport, has a room beautifully and comfortably set up and is always ready to lend me whatever I might need.  On this visit, I noticed a small bowl of dark items next to my bed. They looked like decorative pebbles, the type you put in a vase with flowers.  But knowing my friend, I suspected they might be something else, so I asked her.  Chocolate-covered almonds and other goodies, of course!

Kindness in the Check-Out Line

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."

~ Maya Angelou

On a recent evening, I ran into a grocery store to pick up a few items with one of my children.  Thinking that we were only buying a couple of things, I grabbed a basket instead of a cart.  As I approached the check-out line, the basket was heavier than I anticipated.  The woman in front of me in line noticed and invited me to put my basket on her cart.  In a way, it was a small thing, but it was a help for me and immediately created a friendly connection between us.

Kindness and a Thoughtful Grandmother

"I know what it is like to be brought up with unconditional love.  In my life that came from my grandmother."

~ Andre Leon Talley

A dear mom friend shared this story:  Her 10-year-old son was having a hard time with Math, but she knew that he could do it.  He really wanted a Pokemon from Build-A-Bear, so the mom told him that if he got an A on his upcoming math test, she would get him the Pokemon.  Well, the boy managed to get a 100 on the test!  When they called the local Build-A-Bear store, the shop had sold out and the on-line store had sold out, too.  My friend found the Pokemon at a store in the town where her mother lives a few states away.  That store could not hold or mail the toy, but the grandmother showed up at 10 am the next morning to get the prized Pokemon.

Kindness, Service and Splash

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Friends of ours recently shared a volunteer activity in which they participate.  They have been spending a couple of Saturdays a month helping people with disabilities get into the water and enjoy time at the beach.  As our friends described it, their faces lit up with stories about conversations and sharing time with people who appreciate moments that most of us take for granted.

The Kindness of Transportation Assistance

"Unity is strength... when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved."

~ Mattie Stepanek

The other day I was not feeling well, but had to pick up a child from an after-school activity.  A good mom friend agreed to drive me there -- even though it was quite a distance from our house.  Her car is not in good shape, so she drove to my house and then we took my car.  And one of her children was sick, so she stayed at my house.  It was quite a collaboration, but we managed to complete our mission.

The Kindness of Humor as Distraction

"Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you."

~ Langston Hughes

A woman I know was having one of those routine diagnostic procedures that come with age.  Routine, of course, to everyone except the person having them.  She was reassured by friends who remembered her in prayer and sent their good wishes.  And as she waited for her procedure, she was distracted by funny messages from one of her dearest friends who lives far but is always present.  Her friend even sent her jokes and funny photos to cheer her up.  Her husband, who was sitting next to her as she waited, got into the act, too, and texted her very silly jokes.  Humor was a welcomed distraction.

The Kindness of Holding On

"The best thing to hold onto in this life is each other."

~ Audrey Hepburn

On a random day during a particularly hectic week, I received a lovely card from one of my dearest college friends -- for no reason.  It had this beautiful quote from Audrey Hepburn on the front and inside was a very nice handwritten note from my friend.  I have reread the card many times and it reminds me of how blessed I am to have friends to hold onto.

The Kindness of Quick Thinking

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."

~ Princess Diana

I was in an elevator recently with several other people, including an older woman who was using a walker.  When the elevator stopped on the floor at which she was exiting, she slowly began pushing the walker.  Although I was standing by the elevator button panel, I was not thinking as quickly as another woman who reached over and held the open-door button.  The woman then apologized for reaching across me!  Sheepishly, I thanked her for her quick thinking.

The Kindness of Keeping Confidences

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

~ William Shakespeare

I had a friend and professional colleague who joked that she would "confess" people.  For whatever reason -- it might have been her beautiful smile or her ability to listen, people would tell her all kinds of things.  And while she joked about "confessing" people, there was no doubt that she could keep confidences.  Less than a year ago, my friend and I were riding in the back of a beat-up cab through dark streets in another country and we had another one of those heart-to-heart conversations.  I thought about that ride recently and what a wonderful way she had of listening and of inviting trust.

The Kindness of Moms Helping Moms

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."

~ Maya Angelou

One of my mom friends shared that while at a theme park over the weekend, her 10-year-old son ran into the men's room.  She had wanted to take him to the women's bathroom, but it was out of order and before she could stop her son -- he was in emergency mode, he ran into the men's room.  As my friend was deciding whether to run in after him, she saw another mother standing at the door of the men's room looking after her own son.  The other mom kept an eye out for my friend's son, too.

The Kindness of Helping Hands

"Our job on earth isn't to criticize, reject, or judge.  Our purpose is to offer a helping hand, compassion, and mercy.  We are to do unto others as we hope they would do unto us."

~ Dana Arcuri

On a recent Saturday morning, I was blessed with the opportunity to hold a baby not quite four months old.  Her mother, our violin teacher, was playing with a group of students and musicians.  I held the baby for only a few minutes and she was a particularly good baby, so it was very easy.  But the moment took me back a number of years when my son was just a couple of weeks old.  My brother and his then-fiancée (now wife) came over and this wonderful young woman held my son -- for more than two hours.  It was many years ago, but I remember how much I appreciated that extra pair of hands, especially as I was still in a post-partum haze.  Amazing how long our memories of kindness last.  

The Kindness of a Drive

"Money is but one venue for generosity.  Kindness is an even more valuable currency."

~ Alan Cohen

The other day, it was a mom friend's birthday.  Her husband was out of the country and so another mom and I wanted to take her to dinner to celebrate.  The birthday mom had to attend a daughter's swim meet in another city and so dinner would have to be late.  While the birthday mom and I live about a block away from each other, the other mother lives at quite a distance.  However, the other mom drove to our neighborhood, so that the birthday mom did not have to travel far.  The other mom even picked up the birthday mom and me, so that neither one of us had to drive.  Given that it was a school and work night, her driving was quite a gift.

Kindness and Postage Stamp Selection

"Always be a little kinder than necessary."

~ James M. Barrie

The other day I went to the post office to purchase stamps for a mailing I was doing for work.  I always ask if there are "pretty" stamps.  The gentleman at the post office showed me several options and just as I was going to choose one, he found another type of stamp.  As I debated which one to buy, he discussed with me the type of mailing I was doing and what his reaction would be with each of the stamp options I was considering.  I went with his preferred option.  As I was leaving the post office, I marveled at the kindness of this post office employee who took the time to help me make the best choice.