The Kindness of Wise Words

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."

~ William James

Two women I know are trying to lose weight.  Recently, it was weigh-in day.  The evening before, one woman texted the other that she was nervous about what the scale would read the next day.  The other woman replied:  "Don't worry what certain things say tomorrow morning.  You are more than a number.  You are getting healthy, which in turn will make you happier.  Remember it's not a sprint but a marathon."

The Kindness of Group Help

"I learned that surrounding myself with people who are able to help me is like being surrounded by tangible godliness."

~ Jada Pinkett Smith

I am not sure what it is about back-to-school, but it seems to tire out all of us -- at least the parents of school-age children.  I imagine it is the activity-charged early mornings: breakfast, dressing, packing lunches, hauling activity stuff, backpacks... "Did you brush your teeth?!?"  And all this before what time in the morning?

Thankfully, as we make our way through the first couple of weeks of school, there are the early-morning and late-evening texts between parents.  We remind each other about activities, we confirm back-to-school meeting times...  And together we make it through the haze -- as we count the days until next summer.

The Trickle-Down Effect of Kindness

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."

~ Scott Adams

Years ago, one of my daughter's teenage friends, still in her pre-teen years, danced at a party with my much younger son.  He was all of six years old at the time.  For whatever reason, we have always thought of the song they danced to as "their song" and they will still gladly dance together to it and did so as recently as this summer.  The now teenager is still taller than my son, although I suspect he will catch up soon.  And they still hold hands when they dance and enjoying hamming it up.

On his first day of school this year, my son decided to play this song as we were getting ready to go.  I thought it was incredibly sweet that this was the song that he chose.  I imagine that it brings back nice memories for him.  And, of course, it reminded me of the teenager's kindness.

Shortly after I dropped off my son at school, another mother (of triplets, no less!) approached me to tell me how kind my son had been to her three boys the day before at a Sunday service.  She said that many older children do not pay attention to younger children and that her boys were so excited that my son had talked to them.  She kept repeating how kind my son was and my eyes got watery.  And then I remembered the song from the morning and I shared with her that my son is kind because older children have been kind to him. 

Kindness, a Return Call and Free Concert Tickets

"The catch phrase for the day is 'Do an act of kindness.  Help one person smile.'"

~ Harvey Ball

I recently tried to get free tickets for a concert.  I had received an email the night before that free tickets would be offered beginning at 10 a.m.  But when I called the next day after 10 a.m., the woman who answered said that all the tickets were gone, so I thanked her and hung up.  A few minutes later, she called me back to say that she had found some tickets for me.  I had not given her my name or number, but she called me back -- thanks to Caller ID.

The Kindness of Double Effort

"Loving others always costs us something and requires effort.  And you have to decide to do it on purpose."

~ Joyce Meyer

A teenager I know has a friend who is not the most responsive via text, so when this teenager does not get a response from her friend, she texts the friend's mother and arranges getting together with her friend.  It's nice to see young people make the extra effort.

The Kindness of Random Encounters

"I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from that relationship."

~ Brené Brown

Frequently, when I reflect on my day, what stands out most are the generally unplanned encounters with people that add so much to my life.  I thought about this at the end of a day when I had run into a friend at the grocery store and when my mother had stopped by for a quick visit.  Connection is so vitally important to us and yet we don't always plan for it.  However, if we are lucky, we are blessed with the chance encounter and the ensuing pleasant conversation or the unexpected call or text from a friend just to say hello -- wonderful surprises that each day brings.  I find myself savoring those contacts long after.  Sometimes, connection is just what we need to get us through the day.

Kindness at a Shelter

"Somewhere near you, somebody right now is trying to help the indigent and poor -- providing food, shelter, clothing or simple kindness."

~ Tony Snow

I heard this lovely story on NPR:  In the aftermath of the floods in Louisiana, a schools superintendent who was running a shelter recounted encountering a "little old lady" who got off a bus and arrived at the shelter with her small dog in her arms.  She asked him if the dog could stay with her at the shelter.  He told her, "Sweetheart, as long as you hold onto that dog and it's not aggressive and would not hurt anyone, I am not turning you away or that pet."

Kindness, a Teenager and Cyberspace

"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."

~ Brad Garrett

Have you ever really, really not wanted to do something you had to do?  On a recent morning, as I was mentally grumbling about somewhere I needed to go, I received a funny photo from one of my daughter's best friends.  This teenager lives on the other side of the world.  On this particular morning (which was evening for her), she used one of those funny filters to turn herself into a cherry and sent me the photo.  I responded and told her that I was so grateful for a funny photo and text given that I was in a bad mood about where I needed to go.  She proceeded to send me more funny photos as well as a video, and told me to remember that she was always watching over my family.  I laughed out loud, grateful for this wonderful teenager and this crazy world of cyberspace.  Hours later, after I had uneventfully done what I needed to do, I was still smiling thinking of her kindness.

The Kindness of a First Grade Teacher

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."

~ Henry Adams

My son had a terrific First Grade teacher.  Years and another school later, he still remembers lessons she taught him.  While writing a summer book report recently, he shared with me how he remembers his verb tenses thanks to her:  "add -ed because Ed was always late to the game" and "-ing is for the present tense because Ing is always on time."  Talk about impact...

Kindness and Gratitude as School-Year Themes

"If we all do one random act of kindness daily, we just might set the world in the right direction."

~ Martin Kornfeld

The other night I went to a high school orientation and was delighted to hear the head of school share that his themes for the year were "gratitude and kindness."  Pretty good values for teenagers to learn.

The Kindness of a Ride... and Laughter

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.  I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

~ Kurt Vonnegut

The other night, I had to go to an orientation at one of my children's schools.  I was tired and did not want to drive, so I asked a mother who lives nearby if I could ride with her.  She not only picked me up, but also kept me laughing all the way to school and all the way back.  It was wonderful.

Kindness of School Personnel

"Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others."

~ Booker T. Washington

As a mother of several children, I frequently need to negotiate doctors' appointments, issues at school and other matters, nearly always by telephone.  It's not always easy... sometimes you can't find the right person, the person on the other end of the phone can't seem to help... 

One of my children recently called me from school about an issue with her laptop computer.  I emailed the person in charge of technology and then decided to call -- on the off chance that I might reach him.  To my great surprise, the gentleman answered his phone and said that he was just about to respond to my email.  He then explained what was going on (deliveries were delayed) and said that he would find my daughter, explain it to her and get her a loaner until her computer arrived.  Which he did.  And all was well with the world again.

Kindness and a Special Pizza Delivery

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

On a recent Friday evening, I was tired and not up to going to our regular pizza place for dinner.  One of my dearest mom friends said she would bring pizza over.  She even brought me my favorite soda fountain drink.  We ended up having a nice, long visit in my kitchen.  Best pizza delivery ever.

The Kindness of Calling More

"Every day you should reach out and touch someone."

~ Maya Angelou

The other day, a mom friend called to thank me for something that didn't really merit a phone call -- in my book, at least.  But her call did make me smile.  When I saw her a couple of days later, I told her how much I appreciated her thoughtfulness.  "Calling more is my new goal," she said.  And she explained that she was going to try to call people more instead of texting them.    

The Kindness of Long-Ago Wrapping Help

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know."

~ W.H. Auden

I recently was having dinner with my mother when we ran into an old friend.  A very amiable gentleman, he came to our table to say hello.  After he left, my mother mentioned that she still remembers -- and appreciates -- his gift wrapping help many years ago.  Close to Christmas time, he had been visiting at our house while my mother was wrapping gifts.  I went to sleep, but my friend stayed with my mother until 2 or 3 am helping her to wrap presents.  It was nearly 30 years ago, but my mother still recalls his kindness fondly.

The Kindness of Compassionate Care

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."

~ Albert Schweitzer

A professional colleague of mine was traveling overseas when she ended up at a hospital in London with an infection.  A hospital employee in this country, she was struck by the compassionate care that she received in England.  The hospital staff told her that they were very sorry that she had wound up in the hospital during her vacation and did their best to have her out as soon as possible.  Weeks later, she still talks about their kindness.

The Kindness of Home Inspiration

"The things that we love tell us what we are."

~ Thomas Aquinas

During my recent stay at my friend's house overseas, I was struck by how she had managed to create a home in a new country.  Her new house has the same feel as her old house -- and it has little to do with the furnishings.  It is more the welcoming and homey feel it has.  I shared that sense with my friend and she said that her sister had made a similar comment.  After spending time at my friend's wonderful home, I returned to mine, newly inspired and with a desire to have my home feel more like the place I would like it to be.

The Kindness of Directions

"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.  But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions."

~ Chanakya

On a recent Sunday, we went for brunch at a fairly new restaurant in our city's downtown.  My mother directed us to a parking garage across from the restaurant that we entered from another street.  Once parked, we went to exit on the street facing the restaurant, but the gate leading to the street was locked.  We walked in the opposite direction and tried to figure out the best way to get to the restaurant.  The parking attendant came out of the ticket booth and asked us if we were going to the restaurant.  She then directed us to a short cut, which we especially appreciated as it was a hot summer day. 

Kindness (and Example) while Uniform Shopping

"Example is leadership."

~ Albert Schweitzer

Ah, uniform shopping for school -- one of the last signs that summer is coming to an end.  We recently went uniform shopping and ran into the teenage daughter of a friend who is working at the store for the summer.  Even though someone else was already helping us, this young woman asked if we needed anything and got additional sizes for my children to try on.  She also chatted with us about school and about how much she enjoyed her summer job.  It was a good example all the way around.

The Kindness of the Most Gracious Hosts

"What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest?"

~ Aeschylus

I recently wrote about the warm welcome that we received from our friends whom we visited overseas.  We were so touched by their continual kindness, which ranged from gracious touches that made us feel right at home to showing us the beautiful city in which they are now living.  Our friends cooked delicious meals for us (even adapted for the vegetarian in my family), led us on wonderful walks, drove us around, did our laundry and even gave us down time.  It was a very special trip and we will never forget their very generous hospitality.

The Kindness of Airline Staff

"What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?"

~ George Eliot

On our recent trip overseas, we initially had very bad seat assignments -- as in middle seats.  I was pleasantly surprised at how much the airlines staff accommodated our family; in every instance, they gave us better seats.  On our longest flight, the woman at the check-in desk even made sure that we had empty seats between us, so that we could stretch out.  Priceless.

The Kindness of My Home Team

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."

~ Epicurus

Being on holiday is great -- for many reasons.  On this last trip, being away helped me to appreciate my "home team."  They are the friends who keep up with what is happening with me and my family -- regardless of where we are.  (Thank you, Internet!)  Members of my home team text to see how our trip is going, to find out when will we be flying... they send prayers to soothe nervous flyers and send messages of "yay" when I share that we have landed.  Through cyberspace, they send love wherever we are.  I feel it and appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Kindness To Go

"That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."

~ William Wordsworth

On the last day of our trip overseas, the husband of the family with whom we stayed was going to drive part of our family to the airport.  (We did not fit in one car.)  Given that it was a work day for him, I initially had not accepted his generous offer.  But he insisted.  In addition to the ride, he did an incredibly sweet and thoughtful thing:  He made coffee for my husband and put it in a to-go cup, so that my husband could enjoy it on the drive to the airport.

In-Flight Kindness

"Standing as a witness in all things means being kind in all things, being the first to say hello, being the first to smile, being the first to make the stranger feel part of things, being helpful, thinking of others' feelings, being inclusive."
~ Margaret D. Nadauld

On a recent overseas trip, the plane had just taken off when the overhead bin above our seats opened.  I was concerned as there were three roller-boards in it and my daughter was directly under them.  Before I could react, a quick-thinking passenger behind us stood up and closed the bin.  It opened again.  Even though we were on our ascent, the passenger stood up again, took the suitcase out of the bin, put it next to him and waited until a few minutes later when one of the flight attendants came over to see what had happened.  As it turned out, the bin had to be placed out of service.  I was deeply grateful for the kindness of this stranger.

The Kindness of Paying Attention

On a recent trip, my family and I signed up for a whale-watching tour.  As our boat was pulling away from the dock, another family was running toward the ship.  A gentleman on board signaled to the captain and the boat pulled back into the dock and picked up the family.

The Kindness of the Best House Guests... Ever

"A tree is known by its fruits; a man by his deeds.  A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."
- Saint Basil

Staying with friends on a recent trip, we tried to be good house guests.  There is no doubt in my mind that we fell short.  But it reminded me of a family that stayed at our house more than 10 years ago.  They were incredibly considerate and easy going during their visit, but one of the things that I remember the most is that they insisted on washing their towels and sheets before they left.  It amazes me to this day.

Kindness and "the Soul of an Artist"

"Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."
- Pablo Picasso

On a recent trip overseas, my family and I were shopping in a local market.  I noticed a woman looking at us.  She approached me to ask if the little boy with us was my son.  Yes, I answered.  "Is he an artist?"  Yes, I replied.  She shared that she was an artist and that she could tell that my son had "the soul of an artist."  When I told my son, who loves to draw, what she said, he said, "She made my day."

Kindness on the Subway

"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."
- William Arthur Ward

While traveling in another country, my family, one of our friends and I were trying to get a group shot on the subway -- one more memento of a fun day spent exploring the city together.  As we struggled to get all of us in the selfie, a well-dressed gentleman sitting across from us asked if we would like him to take our photo.  Yes, we said, and he graciously complied.

The Kindness of Wisdom and Inspiration

"How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside of me, what can it be?"
- Vincent Van Gogh

We recently attended Mass in another country.  The priest celebrating the Mass looked to be in his early 80s.  He shared that although he had retired three or four weeks ago, he was filling in for the new pastor who was ill.  When it came time for the homily, I was surprised to see this veteran priest pull out some notes.  (At this point, I figured he could certainly "wing" any sermon.)  He delivered a beautiful and inspiring homily about one of his "heroes" -- Vincent Van Gogh.  The priest talked about how this artist, who was not appreciated during his lifetime, left us an incredible legacy in his genius at seeing the divine in the world and being able to share that with us.  The priest asked us to think about what is the fire within each of us and how might we tend it to make our own contribution in the world.

Kindness and the Warmest Welcome

"There is no hospitality like understanding."
- Vanna Bonta

My family and I recently visited our friends who moved to the other side of the world about a year ago.  It took nearly about a full day for us to get there, but when we did, the father of the family and one of the children were waiting for us at the airport -- even though it was very early on a Saturday morning.  When we arrived at their home, the mother had cooked a delicious breakfast.  And on the kitchen counter, there was a sign welcoming my family next to a vase of my favorite flowers.  A very gracious hostess, the mother had thought of everything -- toiletries in our room, a carafe of water, a book I might enjoy on the nightstand...  And when I walked into the bathroom in my room, I smelled a familiar fragrance and found more of my favorite flowers in a small vase.  Every morning as I looked at the beautiful flowers and enjoyed them, I thought how wonderful it is when someone understands the things that make you happy.

Note:  I apologize that I was not able to post for a couple of days, but we lost Internet connection.