Kindness and Courtesy on a Hot Afternoon

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

On a recent very hot weekend afternoon, I went to pick up food for a group of hungry teenagers working on a school project.  Just as I reached my car balancing two soda cups and a bag with a salad on top of two pizza boxes,  I dropped my car keys.  As I was figuring out how to pick up the keys without putting the food on the ground, a gentleman walking by raced over, picked up my keys, unlocked my car and opened the door for me.  And he was carrying a dog!  Thankfully, a small one.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful (and Perfect) Purchase

"Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome."

~ Amelia Barr

Recently, a friend of mine complimented a blouse that I was wearing.  I said that I really liked it, too, but that it was fading and so its wearable days were coming to an end.  My friend asked to look at the label, and then promptly went to eBay on her phone.  She found a blouse in the same style by the same manufacturer in my size and ordered it for me.  I was thrilled to receive the shirt, which of course fit perfectly, a couple of days later.

Kindness and a Baby Shower

"Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life."

~ Isaac Bashevis Singer

One of my best friends recently shared via text that she was hosting a baby shower at her house.  "For whom?" I asked, full of curiosity as most of our friends are not in baby-birthing mode.  It turns out that a young woman in her office is having a baby, but she does not have any family in town, so my friend is having the shower for her.

The Kindness of Teenage Thoughtfulness

"Be nice to each other.  You can make a whole day a different day for everybody."

~ Richard Dawson

I recently attended a musical performance in which my teenagers were participating.  One of my children suggested that I did not have to attend as she wasn't sure what other parents would be going.  I tried to explain that that did not matter to me, but of course, that was completely irrelevant.  When I tried to take their photos before the performance began, they shot me "please don't" looks and tried to hide behind the music stands.  After the performance, one of their friends actually asked me if I wanted her to take a photo of me with my children.  Pleasantly shocked, I said yes before my daughters could shoot the poor girl a dirty look.

The Kindness of Seemingly Small Courtesies

"Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart."

~ Henry Clay

I recently arrived at a series of business meetings ahead of schedule, but while an earlier meeting was in progress.  The meeting organizer saw me look through a window into the meeting room.  He stepped outside to welcome me, told me what that particular session was addressing and led me inside to an open seat.  He then brought me a cup of water.  When I thanked him later, he shrugged it off and said that he had figured I had been driving and in traffic, and could probably use a glass of water.  I was greatly appreciative of his warm and courteous welcome.

Kindness and Crackers

"A friend is what the heart needs all the time."

~ Henry Van Dyke

One of my dearest mom friends and I spent time together over a recent weekend.  I had brought a bag of my current favorite crackers and we shared them for snacks.  A couple of evenings later, she stopped by my house and dropped off two boxes of them. 

Kindness and Being Considerate

"The only true source of politeness is consideration."

~ William Gilmore Simms

I was recently on public transportation, heading back from an amusement park.  It was the end of the day and everyone clearly was tired.  An older woman got on with her grandchildren, but it was standing room only.  A teenage girl who had been sitting down stood up, gently tapped the older woman on the shoulder and quietly asked, "Ma'am, would you like to sit down?"  The older woman thanked her and sat down with an audible sigh of relief as her grandson climbed onto her lap.

The Kindness of Leaving No Rider Behind

"I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.  Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."

~ Charles R. Swindoll

My family and I recently spent a couple of days at an amusement park with two other families.  It was an adventure coordinating 13 people, but we managed pretty well.  At one point, it looked as though I might not make it to my favorite ride.  I stayed behind with one child who would not be riding and the group went on ahead.  My husband ended up staying with the child and so I was able to get in the line for the ride.  I figured riding it alone was better than not riding it at all.  One of my mom friends who was with the larger group asked me where I was.  I told her I was in the line.  She told me that they were close to the front and that I should go and meet them.  But I was not comfortable doing that.  Next thing I knew, there was a park employee summing me to the front of the line where the rest of the group was waiting.  "You weren't going to ride alone!" my mom friend said.  I was grateful for her negotiating skills, and minutes later, I was delighted to be swinging through the air surrounded by family and friends.

The Kindness of a Helping Hand

“The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We recently had lunch with good friends on the second floor of a restaurant.  As we were going down the stairs on our way out, a mom was struggling to go up the stairs with a baby in a jogging stroller.  One of our friends lifted the top of the stroller and helped the mother get the stroller to the top of the stairs.  A little boy who was with us saw our friend help the mother and said, “And it’s his birthday!”  Our helpful friend was celebrating a milestone birthday.  His assistance was not only a nice thing to do, but also a great example of how you can think of others – even on your special day.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Shout-Out

“There are many goals but one path – the path of compassion.”

~ Amit Ray

One of my favorite yoga teachers is not only a terrific instructor, but also very attuned to what is going on in her class.  She will guide her students through the poses, encourage them to stretch and urge people to take it more slowly when they need to.  She also knows everyone’s names and will compliment students by name for their progress and poses.  During a recent class, the youngest student – an 11-year-old boy – accidentally knocked over his water bottle.  It was closed, but I imagine that he was self-conscious about the noise.  Seconds later, the instructor complimented him on a pose.

The Kindness of Advocacy

"All advocacy is, at its core, an exercise in empathy."

~ Samantha Power

One of my teenage daughters had been lobbying for a significantly shorter haircut for some time.  I had resisted.  My rationale?  She would not have long hair for graduation, which I thought she might want to have.  (No matter that graduation is more than a couple of years away and that she is not concerned about this.)  I finally conceded to take her for a much-needed trim.  She told the hairdresser that she wanted more than a trim.  I explained why not.  There was... graduation.  "Two years from now?" the hairdresser asked incredulously, "It will grow!"  And with that, her newfound advocate got me to nod my head for a shorter look.

The Kindness of Thinking of Others

"There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends.  That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first; when you learn to live for others, they will live for you."

~ Paramahansa Yogananda

One of my dearest -- and dare I say, oldest -- friends checks in with me frequently.  We usually speak on the phone weekly, but sometimes our exchanges are by text.  When he has not heard from me in a while, which might just be a few days, he will text to see how I'm doing.  It's such a simple thing, but I absolutely adore him for letting me know that he is thinking about me.

The Kindness of a Gracious Gesture

"If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world."

~ Francis Bacon

I am on an advisory council for a local nonprofit and we recently had a meeting.  At the end of the evening, one of the young staff people who had presented went around the meeting table and shook hands with each of us.  It was a gracious gesture that immediately endeared him to all of us.

Joy and Kindness -- an Unintended Consequence

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

~ William Wordsworth

I recently observed an elementary school-age boy skipping as he left the grocery store.  A gentleman was walking toward the store.  As he saw the boy and his evident joy, a smile spread across the gentleman's face.  I wondered what the gentleman was thinking... Was he remembering his childhood... or perhaps just sharing in someone else's joy?  Regardless, it was amazing to watch the impact of the child on the man.

The Kindness of Wise Words

"Our happiness depends on wisdom all the way."

~ Sophocles

I recently found a letter that an older relative wrote to me more than six years ago when I had a milestone birthday.  She shared the many things that she had done after that particular milestone.  This relative has since died and I treasure her words more than ever.  I am so grateful that she took the time to share her wisdom with me.

The Kindness of Sharing Traditions

"Sharing is good, and with digital technology, sharing is easy."

~ Richard Stallman

Our newest family tradition arrived via text from Australia.  Our good friends who are living there shared that they were making a "bunny cake."  The mother of the family wrote that she had made it with her mother, and now she makes it with her children.  She sent us a picture of the very cute cake.  Fortunately, Australia is 14 hours ahead, so we had more than enough time to go to the store, buy the ingredients and make our cake on Easter Eve just as our friends did half a day ahead of us.

Kindness in the Return Line

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."

~ Scott Adams

After a long day of errands, I was standing third in line to return a couple of items at a home improvement store with my three children.  The person who was first in line seemed to have a complicated return and I was hoping that we would last the wait.  When the first person finished, the gentleman who was next in line told the cashier to take us.  He said his return involved at least four receipts and he did not mind waiting.  Needless to say, I was grateful that we were able to get out of the store before any of us had a meltdown and I appreciated the gentleman's example.  As I drove through the parking lot on my way out, I stopped to let someone cross in front of me and smiled as I realized that the gentleman's kindness impacted me more than I realized.

Kindness and Perfect Pitch

"We ought to be vigilantes for kindness and consideration."

~ Letitia Baldrige

Who knew that perfect pitch could be so helpful?  A friend of my children was at our home and decided to play our piano.  I remembered that she had perfect pitch.  I asked her if the piano was in tune.  Yes, she said.  So I don't have to have it tuned?  No, came the welcomed reply.  The piano tuner calls me every so often to ask if he needs to come by.  Of course, I have no clue.  But thanks to our friend, we can wait a while until the next tuning. 

Kindness and a Birthday Surprise

"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."

~ Brad Garrett

A teenager I know convinced her mother to wake up while it was dark -- and the moon was still out! -- to drive her to her best friend's house, so that she could deliver birthday balloons before her friend went off to school.

Remembering Kindness 15 Years Later

"People just deserve to be treated with kindness."

~ Sophia Bush

One of my dearest mom friends celebrated her daughter's 15th birthday today.  My friend talked about what that day had been like 15 years ago.  She and her husband did not expect the baby to arrive as there were a few weeks left to go, but the baby arrived a little early.  My friend shared how kind a nurse had been to her, especially as she was given the dreaded epidural shot.  The nurse told my friend to look into her eyes and guided her through with great calm and kindness.  My friend has not forgotten the nurse and her kindness at such a critical time, and I am pretty certain that she never will.

Kindness and Teenager-Inspired Good Manners

"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."

~ Fred Astaire

My children have a friend who is an incredibly well-mannered teenage boy.  I have written about him in the past.  One of my favorite stories is of this teenager's jumping over a bush to open my car door.  My elementary-school-age son greatly admires this teenager and has been making a point of opening my car door.  As we were leaving the grocery store recently, my son ran around to my car door, opened it and said, "Andrew style."  His door-opening chivalry is now named after this teenager, and I am grateful for the inspiration.

The Kindness of Recognizing What's Important to Someone Else

"Be nice to each other.  You can make a whole day a different day for everybody."

~ Richard Dawson

Every Sunday, I rush to try to make it to Bible study before church.  Invariably, I am late.  But on this Sunday, my children decided that they were going to help me be on time.  They got ready without several prompts from me.  They helped gather our things.  They packed a yogurt for me to eat in the car...  And, lo and behold, we were out the door earlier than usual and I arrived with a few minutes to spare.  I was so touched that my children recognized something that was important to me and then went out of their way to make it happen.  It may have been a one-shot deal, but I truly appreciated it.

The Kindness of a Little Help

"The best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."

~ William Wordsworth

On a recent evening, I went to pick up take-out at a local restaurant.  I was having a hard time carrying the bag of food as well as a tray with a beverage.  A gentleman who was coming into the restaurant offered to help me and held the door for me.

The Kindness of Strong Friendship

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

My brother is a great friend.  I have known this for years, decades really, but I was reminded of it recently as I watched him deal with a friend going through a difficult time.  Although a busy professional and father, my brother knows how to be there for his friends.  Being there can mean being available for a long talk or sending encouraging texts or flying to a friend's hospital bedside.  

Kindness and Beach Art

"Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more."

~  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A friend of ours who is spending time in Hawaii recently sent me photos of beach art that he is creating with found objects, including bits of plastic that find their way to the beach.  His artwork is colorful and beautiful.  I was very touched when he sent a photo of a piece that he created for our family, which included my children and, like classic portraits, items that have special meaning for my family.

The Kindness of Group Prayer

"For where two or more are gathered in My name, I am there in the midst of them."

~ Matthew 18:20

On a recent evening at sunset, I sat with a group of about 20 people on the rooftop terrace of a house praying the Rosary for a dear friend.  Family and friends organized synchronized prayer for this friend's recovery from surgery.  It was a powerful thing.

Kindness and Anniversaries

"Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love."

~ Lao Tzu

On a dark and very early morning, one of my dearest friends drove me to the airport to meet my daughter for the first time.  The night before, my friend had been at my house until close to midnight helping me prepare for my daughter's arrival.  My husband would be arriving the next day just after 5 am with our daughter.  As I was getting ready that next morning, my friend called around 3 am.  He said that he did not want me driving to the airport in the dark alone and that he was on his way to take me.  That was 15 years ago today.  We always celebrate my daughter's arrival and remember what that day was like.  Prominent in those memories -- and forever in my heart -- is my friend's kindness.

Kindness and Forgetting

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I thought I had managed to survive four very busy work days that included much of the weekend.  And then Monday morning rolled around and I realized that I had forgotten to do two important things on the home front.  Well, I actually did not remember both on my own.  One of my dearest mom friends texted me to ask if I had done one of them.  No!  I told her and said how terrible I felt because it was a note for a friend that would be part of a group tribute.  My mom friend sprung into action.  She called to find out if I could still participate, talked me through what I had to do, and then literally ran my submission over to where it needed to go.  That afternoon, I was talking to my friend's teenage daughter and I said, "Your mom saved the day."  This teenager's response?  "My mom always saves the day."  

Kindness and April Fools Pranks

"I appreciate anything thoughtful."

~ Hilary Rhoda

Is it possible to be kind when engaging in April Fools pranks?  I'm not sure, but I think the following comes close.  An elementary school-age boy I know wanted to "prank" an older sister, so he decided to "spike" the orange juice in the refrigerator with mayonnaise, which his sister detests.  However, he knows that his sister needs to drink orange juice every day because she feels faint otherwise, so he saved a glass of orange juice before he put the mayonnaise into the container.  He wanted to make sure that his sister would still have her morning juice.

Kindness and Neighbors

"To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for regulating human society, that by that alone one might determine all the cases in social morality."

~ John Locke

On a recent morning, I had a nice conversation with an older gentleman.  In his 80s, he has been living in Florida for more than 20 years.  But he spent the earlier parts of his life in other states.  He shared a story about a neighbor he had many years ago in Indiana.  The gentleman I know had to fill holes in his property with gravel, and he had a number of bags of gravel in his yard for this purpose.  Early one Saturday, he heard a knock on his door and it was his neighbor asking where they should put the gravel.  The gentleman and his neighbor got the job done much faster than if he had done it alone.  As we talked about what a good neighbor he had had, we agreed that it was a pretty basic thing to do.  "Basic and unbelievable," the gentleman said.  I asked him if he still kept in touch with his neighbor even though they lived in different states.  "Of course," he said, "When you meet a person like that, you don't let him go."