Kindness and a New Year's Wish

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us.  Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind."
~ Henri Frederic Amiel

The new year presents another opportunity to begin anew -- at the very least, it's a moment of reflection.  As I look back on the year, many of the memories that stand out are those where kindness was found.  And I know that those are the memories that will last.

My new year's wish for you is that you will recognize and linger on those moments of kindness that cross your path.  And let's make haste to be kind.

The Kindness of a Teenager Doing Laundry (Voluntarily!)

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."
~ Ronald Reagan

Perhaps it is because she is a newly minted teenager and is still enjoying mastering new things.  But no matter the reason, one of my daughters has decided that she likes doing laundry.  What a blessing it was to have her do five loads yesterday!  I hope her fascination with laundry lasts.  The kindness of helping a working mother with piles of laundry cannot be overstated.

The Kindness of Extending Christmas

"Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~ Dale Evans

I love Christmas and I believe the longer the better.  It is great fun to receive packages that arrive before Christmas, which we place under the tree to open Christmas morning.  And then there are the gifts that arrive after Christmas that help us extend the holiday.  Yesterday, we received Christmas in a box.  Our very thoughtful friends who live in another city sent us a box with a cornucopia of gifts -- each one very carefully selected for the recipient.  One of the highlights of the box was a gigantic stuffed animal that somehow fit into the box and then magically expanded as he was released from his brown box cage.  My children have spent the day playing with their just-received gifts.  And every time I see the stuffed animal -- which happens to be an alien -- I marvel at the magic of thoughtfulness and the blessing of friendship.

Kindness at the Retailer

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
~ Scott Adams

Doing some pre-Christmas shopping at a major retailer, I ended up having a conversation with the cashier, a young woman who generously shared all her cost-cutting tips.  She told me about a mobile phone app that would save me money.  And when I said that I did not think I had space on my phone for it, she ran back to where her purse was kept and brought out her own phone to show me.  She then proceeded to scan each of my items with her phone to see if there were any additional savings to be had.  I truly appreciated her eagerness to help me, and I left the store encouraged by her kindness.

A Simple Birthday Kindness

"A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer."
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Recently, it was the birthday of an older gentleman in our community -- he was turning 86.  A female friend of his who lives nearby was too sick to get out of bed, but she wanted to make sure that he received something special on his birthday, so she asked her daughter to get him balloons and a card, and leave them on his doorstep.  The gentleman called his friend to say that she had made his day.

The Kindness of Chocolate Cookies

"Chocolate is the first luxury.  It has so many things wrapped up in it:  Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good."
~ Mariska Hargitay

One of my colleagues in another city introduced me to a delicious confection in her hometown.  The perfect cookie for a chocoholic.  I have not seen it in any other city to which I have been.  Imagine my delight when I recently opened a box that she sent with a tin of the cookies for my family and me for Christmas!

The Kindness of Grilled Veggies for Christmas

"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."
~ Charles Dudley Warner

A couple friend of ours gave us one of the best gifts that you can give a family with a vegetarian and no skilled cooks: a container of deliciously grilled vegetables.  It is amazing what thoughtful people can come up with as gift ideas. 

Merry Christmas!

Kindness and my Steadfast Friend

"People give one another things that can't be gift wrapped."
~ Nadine Gordimer

Decades ago when we were single, my steadfast friend and I were constant companions.  Whether it was going out to eat, the movies or just running errands, it never took much to get her out of the house.  She was -- and is -- one of the most easygoing people I know. But life gets complicated and we are no longer those completely carefree young women. But every so often...  I recently called her on my way to the mall for a last bit of Christmas shopping.  I asked her if she wanted to -- and could -- come.  To my delight, she said yes and so we spent the next few hours together.  I was reminded again of the preciousness of time and grateful that she spent those hours with me -- it was the perfect Christmas gift.

 

Kindness, Handy Friends and that Christmas Feeling

"Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~ Dale Evans

We recently moved back into our apartment after an unforeseen and involuntary repair project.  With Christmas coming, we were eager to get our home back to feeling like home.  On an evening very close to Christmas -- Christmas Eve Eve, as my children call it, a married couple friends of ours came over to help us hang a few pieces of art work.  Hanging turned into assembling a desk and a few other things.  Nearly five hours later, our friends -- looking a little more tired than when they arrived -- went home.  But not before they had hung our paintings, organized our kitchen, built a desk and treated us to pizza.  As all this work was being done, we listened to Christmas music.  We ended the evening singing songs that reminded us of our parents...  And it finally felt very much like Christmas.

The Kindness of a Weekend

"My favorite things in life don't cost any money.  It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time."
~ Steve Jobs

My friend who moved to the other side of the world was in town for the holidays.  A few months ago, we planned a weekend away with both of our families during their time in the States.  My friend always says, "If it's important, you schedule it."  And so we did.  As the weekend approached, we realized that it never would have happened if we had not scheduled it.  So many things would have gotten in the way and indeed life threatened to interrupt our weekend.  But we held fast and enjoyed a long weekend at a beach resort with both our families.  We had an amazing time and were all grateful for the time together.  Time truly is the greatest gift.

The Kindness of the Sneaker Santa

"You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness."
~ Brad Garrett

At a business meeting a few weeks ago, a friend and professional colleague who works at an athletic footwear distributor asked for everyone's shoe sizes and mailing addresses.  He said that he wanted to send everyone at the meeting a pair of sneakers for Christmas. 

In the days after the meeting, I rounded up the addresses and the shoe sizes.  And I asked my friend if instead of providing my shoe size, I could give him the size of a gentleman who could really use a pair of shoes.  But I explained that I was having trouble finding the gentleman to get his shoe size.  The Sneaker Santa told me not to worry -- that whenever I obtained the size of the gentleman, I could send it to him and he would make sure that we got the shoes.  In the meantime, I sent him the shoe sizes for the members of the group, including mine.  And then I forgot about it.

On one of those Christmas-week days when you are seriously wondering how to get everything done, I received my brand new pair of sneakers.  I was thrilled!  It was such a treat -- and despite my gathering the shoes sizes, it felt unexpected.  I called the Sneaker Santa to thank him and told him what a great idea it was.  He laughed, and I heard the joy in his laughter and knew there was a twinkle in his eye.  I suspect the Sneaker Santa enjoyed sending off the presents as much as we enjoyed receiving them.  And I know that whenever I look down at the shoes, I will smile as I remember how I came to have them.

The Kindness of a Dessert Recommendation

“One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time.”

 -  Herman Hesse

Most people don’t talk to strangers.  But there are certain settings when people seem to feel that it’s okay.  One of those places is restaurants.  The other night while we were dining with friends, a gentleman who was leaving the restaurant stopped by our table to tell us how good one of the desserts was.  It was nice to get the dessert recommendation, but the unexpected friendliness was even nicer.

Early-Morning Kindness

“Love and kindness go hand in hand.”

 -  Marian Keyes

On a recent morning, my first sense of the day was a soft blanket being tucked around me and a light kiss on my cheek. My son woke up before anyone else and decided that I might be cold, so he wrapped his favorite blanket around me.

The Kindness of Honoring the Line

“The main thing that you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.”

 -   Ed Sheeran

Everybody seems to be rush rushing these days. Stores, even grocery stores, are more crowded and everyone seems more impatient.  So I was surprised at the supermarket self check out when another woman let me know that there was a check out station available.  It would have been easier for her to just go ahead and take the turn and finish up earlier.

The Kindness of Santa's Helper

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."
~ Maya Angelou

Every year, I promise myself that I will begin planning for Christmas earlier.  Some years it has happened -- but this was not one of those years.  Instead, I found myself the night before my children's last day of school with way too many teachers' gifts to wrap.  Enter Santa's helper -- one of my daughters.  She took it upon herself to wrap not only her gifts, but also those of her siblings.  Where would any Santa be without a helper?

The Kindness of "Zero Stress"

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."
~ Saint Francis de Sales

I recently found out (realized?) that I had agreed to co-organize an event at one of my children's schools.  Between work and a never-ending and involuntary home renovation project, one more thing seemed unmanageable.  Thank goodness, my co-organizer is a take-no-prisoners real doer who took charge of the event, graciously asked my opinion and filled in in all the spots where I could not.  Her motto seems to be "zero stress," so whenever I asked her what I could do or how we could get something done, she would find an easy solution and finish with her "zero stress" mantra.  One of the things I needed to do was to send a baby photo of one of my children, which did not seem doable given that nearly all photos and albums were in boxes.  I finally took a mobile phone photo of a photo in a frame and texted it to her.  She said she would print it out for me and concluded her text with "zero stress."  I replied that I could see her angel wings from my house.

The Kindness of the Connecting Mom

"I think we all do have a guardian angel.  I believe they work through us all the time, when we are thoughtful and good and kind to each other."
~ Roma Downey

I have a friend who has a full plate.  In fact, she is dealing with more than any of us would want.  She is seeing her husband through a serious illness and she is in the middle of moving and a nightmare renovation.  In the midst of her craziness, she called me about a young man who was just admitted into the college of his dreams.  The challenge is that now his family has to figure out how to pay for it.  My friend was looking for guidance for the parents and was wondering if I could connect them with someone who might be able to help them navigate the maze of financial aid.  I told her that the family was blessed to have her as a friend.  "I connect people," she said, "that's what I do."  I have no doubt that with an angel like that on their side, these parents will be able to get their son to his dream school.

The Kindness of Perpetual Reminders

“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”

 -  David Ogden Stiers

My mother likes to remind her children about important events in each other’s lives – birthdays, anniversaries…  You can always tell when my mother has issued one of her reminders because felicitations appear immediately and simultaneously.

The Kindness of the "Boy's Mom"

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."
~ Jackie Kennedy

One of my daughters recently attended a holiday formal at her school.  It was her first date-accompanied dance.  Fortunately, she asked the son of my lovely friend to go with her.  And that is where the kindness of being the "boy's mom" really kicked in.  My lovely friend, being lovely after all, called to ask me if flowers would be appropriate.  At first, I said no, but then decided to make inquiries.  And while corsages don't seem to be as popular as they once were, the "mini-bouquet" is what girls seem to like these days.  So my lovely friend had a beautiful one made for my daughter.  I also suspect that there was some clothes shopping involved.  My daughter's "date" looked quite dapper in very shiny (new?) shoes, a very elegant tie, a nicely pressed shirt, navy blazer and gray slacks.  But the best thing that my lovely friend did is that she raised a kind young man with impeccable manners.  Yes, he is a super car-door opener (he did scale a bush once to open mine), but this young man understands that accompanying a friend to a dance means that you accompany her.  So even if you see your friends, you don't abandon the girl to spend the evening with them.  My daughter had a great time at the dance -- in no small part thanks to the kindness of my lovely friend.

The Kindness of the Manicure Elf

"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved.  It is God's finger on man's shoulder."
~ Charles Morgan

One of my dearest mom friends celebrated her birthday this week.  When she arrived at her Saturday morning manicure appointment, she discovered that an elf had already paid for her manicure.  Ah, the kindness of a Manicure Elf!

The Kindness of Making an Effort

"But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious.  And for that I am grateful."
~ Elizabeth Edwards

The other day as I was in my car outside the supermarket, a woman came to my car and asked if a roll of Christmas paper left in one of the grocery carts was mine.  It wasn't, but I appreciated the woman's effort to find the roll's owner.

Kindness and Car Service, Part 2

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
~ Winston Churchill

Have I mentioned that I'm glad I drive a Volvo?  Yep, it's those folks in the service department again.  I took my car in for routine maintenance and told my service advisor that I probably would not be able to pick it up until the next day.  But when a business meeting ended on time and traffic seemed in my favor, I headed toward the service department, hoping to make it before the 6 pm closing.  When it seemed that I might make it, I called and my service advisor answered.  He had already left, but the phone kicked over to his mobile.  He thought I was not going to pick up my car and he was finished, so he left.  But no worries, he told me.  He called the service department and explained to the cashier that I would be calling to pay over the phone and that if I didn't make it before closing, she should leave my keys with the dealership, which is open later.  I pulled in to the service department at 5:54 pm.  My car was washed and the cashier had my receipt printed and the keys ready.  I was so grateful.  A few minutes later, the service advisor called to make sure that I had gotten my car and that everything was fine.

Kindness and Blessings

"The words of kindness are more healing to a drooping heart than balm or honey."
~ Sarah Fielding

A woman I know was having a bad day -- not life-changing bad, just annoyance bad.  And then the blessings poured in.  A couple of friends texted; a parent at one of her children's schools gave her a book he thought she would find useful.  A college friend called and her faraway friend sent her one of the most thoughtful emails ever.  You just never know when reaching out can make a world of difference to the person who needs connection at that moment.

More Rain, More Kindness

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Where I live, we seem to be having an extended rainy season.  And kindness seems to follow the rain.  In just one day, I enjoyed or witnessed several rainy-day kindnesses.

There was the woman who came to hold an umbrella over my head and walked me to my car.

There was the woman who lent me her umbrella, so that I could run to get my car.

And there were two store employees who mounted a Christmas tree on top of an older woman's car as the rain fell on them.  (The older woman shared that she decided to get her tree on a rainy day, figuring not too many people would be in her way.)

The Kindness of a Donut Saved

"It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all."
~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Donuts are in high demand at my house, but I rarely buy them because after all, who really needs to eat a donut?  But somehow, a box found its way to our kitchen.  As our babysitter was leaving our house one evening, she told my son, "Make sure you save me a donut."  He said he would, but I did not think too much about it.  A couple of hours later as I tidied up the kitchen, I saw that my son had written on a napkin that a donut needed to be saved for the babysitter and had covered the box with the napkin.  I later overhead him telling his siblings that they had to save a donut for her.  Given his penchant for all things sweet, I know it was a sacrifice for him to keep his promise.

Kindness and Magic Bars

"All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
~ Charles M. Schulz

For years, one of my favorite desserts has been something that seems to pop up at holiday time.  Some people call it Magic Bar; others call it Seven-Layer Cookie.  Whatever the name, this delicious concoction has a graham cracker crust and then layers that include condensed milk, chocolate chips and shredded coconut.  Cooked brownie-style in a pan, it is then cut up into small squares or rectangles.

To my delight, Magic Bars were one of the desserts at a holiday party I recently attended.  I mentioned to one of the servers how much I enjoy them -- although she easily could have figured that out based on how many I ate.  To my surprise, as I was leaving, the caterer told me to wait and then handed me a sizable slab of un-cut Magic Bars.  I felt I had just been handed a gold bar!

Kindness on a Sad and Rainy Day

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."
~Albert Schweitzer

The day of my friend's funeral service was gray and rainy.  But I somehow did not take an umbrella with me.  When I parked at the church, a gentleman with a large umbrella came to my car to walk me in.  I thanked him and asked him if he worked at the church or the school.  No, he replied, but his wife worked at the school.  I later saw her among the administrators who were closest to my friend.

Most of the time when we are trying to accompany loved ones as they mourn, there is little that we can do.  This gentleman decided to help whom he could.  And those of us who benefitted from his umbrella were very grateful.

Kindness and Car Service

"People are basically the same the world over.  Everybody wants the same things -- to be happy, to be healthy, to be at least reasonably prosperous, and to be secure.  They want friends, peace of mind, good family relationships, and hope that tomorrow is going to be even better than today."
~Zig Ziglar

I love the folks at the service department where I take my car.  Over the years, they have extended numerous kindnesses.  The most recent one was on a Friday evening.  As I drove to pick up one of my children from an after-school activity, a warning light turned on on the dashboard saying that I had "very low" tire pressure.  It was nearly 6 pm, which is when the car service department at the dealership closes.  I tried calling, but could not get through to anyone, so I quickly drove there, arriving minutes before 6 pm.  Nearly everyone was gone.  I explained what happened to the one service advisor left and he immediately called a remaining mechanic to take a look.  The mechanic drove off with my car and returned a few minutes later.  He told me that all the tires were low on air, so he filled them all and I was good to go.  No charge.  Peace of mind: priceless.

The Kindness of an Imperceptible Gesture

"Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

On my way out of a restaurant with two business colleagues, one of them pointed out a step down that was easy to miss.  "Watch your step," she said and put her hand momentarily under my elbow.  An almost imperceptible -- but incredibly thoughtful -- gesture.

Kindness at the Grocery Store

"That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."
~ William Wordsworth

The other night, I found myself at the grocery store when I would have rather been already at home at the end of a long day.  When I tried to find a cashier, the lines were pretty long at all of the lanes.  Just then, I saw the store manager walk by and I asked him if he would consider opening another cashier lane.  Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, one of the cashiers walked up to me and told me she was opening up #5.  I was delighted to be able to leave just a little faster and greatly appreciated the manager's kindness.

Kindness -- Like Father, Like Son

"His attentive treatment of her had nothing to do with the presumption that she was weak, and everything to do with the conviction that she was valuable."
~ Angela N. Blount

As I was leaving an event recently, I saw my lovely friend's car pull up to the entrance of the building we had just exited.  "You valet parked the car?" I asked my friend, thinking it curious as we usual park in the lot.  She smiled and said that her husband had gone to get the car.  I watched her husband get out of the car and open all the doors of the car, so that my friend, her mother and their children could all comfortably enter.  And I remembered an evening where his son jumped over a bush in his haste to open my car door.  Chivalry runs deep in that family.

Kindness and a Generous Spirit

"There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate."
~ Robert Frost

I have a friend who has an incredibly generous heart.  In the last week, she has had us to dinner at her house, invited us over for leftovers, joined us for an impromptu pizza dinner, invited me to a workshop she thought I might enjoy, and offered to buy me a new charging cord for my phone when she heard that I had misplaced mine.  I don't think my friend knows of another way to be.  When she sees a need or an opportunity to be kind, she takes it.  And in so doing, she gives others the gift of her time and welcoming nature.  It is no surprise that she volunteers every week at a food pantry that serves low-income women -- even though she is a busy professional.  Her generous spirit is evident every time she walks into a room with a smile so big that it seems to touch everyone in sight.

Kindness in the Aftermath

"We all need each other."
~ Felice Leonardo Buscaglia

I received very sad news this morning -- a friend who had waged a courageous and difficult fight against cancer passed away.  I was upset and did not know what to do with myself.  And as with so many other times in my life, I got by with a lot of help from my friends.  My friends offered to help with my children, they sent messages of support and they checked in on me throughout the day.  And they prayed for my friend and her family.

Kindness and the Tired Husband

"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."
~ Humphry Davy

We recently had dinner at the home of friends, who had just moved.  I was surprised to see that they were completely settled in to their new home -- without a box in sight.  When I asked how they had done it, the wife said that the husband had single handedly packed and moved all their things.  I was especially amazed as there were a considerable number of knickknacks.  The husband had also spent an incredible amount of time -- 40 hours he calculated -- putting up several chandeliers.  He not only made sense of the electrical, but also cleaned and hung all the crystals on the chandeliers. I could not even fathom how he did it.  Not surprisingly, he was pretty tired on the recent evening when we and some family relatives were at his house for dinner.  But he managed to remain his cheerful self and spend time with us.

Kindness and an Older Cousin's Attention

"True beauty is a warm heart, a kind soul, and an attentive ear."
~ Ken Poirot

We ran into my nephew who was home from college at our neighborhood pizzeria.  After warmly greeting me, he said hello to my daughters and then asked me where my son was.  I told him that my son was sitting at the table on the other side of the restaurant, so my nephew walked over to say hello.  After he had eaten with his friends and was leaving, my nephew came over to our table to say goodbye and made sure to talk to my son again.  He asked him several questions about school.  I have always thought of my nephew as being incredibly well-mannered, but on this occasion, I also appreciated his attentiveness to his much younger cousin.

Kindness and Thanksgiving

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
~ Oprah Winfrey

Thanksgiving is about counting our blessings and being grateful.  It is also about making an effort -- and that's where the kindness kicks in.  Making or contributing to a Thanksgiving meal takes effort and so does attending a celebration.  But sometimes, there is even more effort involved.  One of my dearest friends hosted a Thanksgiving celebration even though he was not feeling well.  When I asked him how he was doing, he said, "more or less, but only thankful today."  Another friend -- whose husband has been ill and only recently discharged from the hospital -- took a dish to another friend's house even though she would not be attending the dinner.  Several other people I know traveled farther than they would have liked to be with family.  And then of course there is the kindness of not letting little things bother us (or at least not letting on that they do), so that we can get along with family and even others.  All that kindness makes for some pretty special Thanksgivings.

The Kindness of Sibling Support

"If you want to do really important things in life and big things in life, you can't do anything by yourself.  And your best teams are your friends and your siblings."
~ Deepak Chopra

The other day, one of my teenagers was trying to convince us that she deserved a new privilege.  She made quite a case for it, but we were not budging.  Then her younger brother got in on the act.  He wrote us a note about why his older sister deserved the privilege: "she will learn something new" and "it will make her feel responsible."  He also explained that she would eventually stop being mad at me.  "I also think if you give her time, she will let you into her world," he assured me.  Much to my surprise, my daughter prevailed.  Her brother felt responsible for her success.  For my part, I was thrilled that he had come to her assistance.

The Kindness of Remembering

"So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
~ St. Paul, 1 Corinthians 13:13

Today is 15 years since my father died.  Some anniversaries are harder than others.  My siblings and I exchanged texts this morning.  A couple of us had rough nights, teary mornings...  And then -- I was blessed with unexpected and thoughtful gestures that meant so much.  One of my closest friends remembered that it was my father's anniversary.  And my lovely friend, although she was traveling, texted me that she had said a prayer for my father. 

Pre-Thanksgiving Kindness

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings."
~ William Arthur Ward

My daughter and I made a late-evening visit to the grocery store to buy what she needed for the school food drive and some other items.  At the cashier, my daughter realized that she had forgotten something.  "Go on and get it, " the cashier said as there was no one behind us.  My daughter ran off just as a couple lined up behind us and began unloading their items on the conveyor belt.  "I don't think she is going to make it back in time," I told the cashier as she finished scanning our items.  Overhearing our conversation, the gentleman said, "that's okay -- we can wait."  I thanked him.  A minute or so later, my daughter came running with the missing item; we finished paying and were set to go.  I said goodbye to the gentleman and thanked him again.  "Happy Thanksgiving," he replied.

A Legacy of Kindness

"The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith."
~ Billy Graham

I recently attended a memorial service for the wife of a colleague.  Relatives and friends remembered this woman for her commitment to her family, her love of adventure, her zest for life and her kindness.  Person after person who spoke at the podium recalled how she brightened the lives of so many people.  What a terrific legacy.

The Kindness of Flexibility

"Yielding flexibility is a virtue of an ever-expanding heart."
~ Molly Friedenfeld

Earlier today, I heard a very nice story.  A family had plans to meet at a restaurant for dinner with grandparents who were visiting from abroad.  At the last minute, the grandfather felt tired and said that he preferred not to go out for dinner or at least not to venture too far from where he was staying.  The daughter-in-law (the son's wife) had already made it to the initially designated restaurant after a full day at her office, but when she heard that her father-in-law did not want to go far, she said "no problem," and drove an additional half an hour to a restaurant close to where he was staying.  When the rest of the family arrived at the restaurant, the daughter-in-law greeted them all with a smile.  She had already secured a table and ordered her father-in-law's favorite wine.  Her attitude makes all the sense in the world -- after all, the important thing was for the family to get together.  But her attitude was a lesson for me.

Kindness Rewarded

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
~ Scott Adams

Today a dear friend called from Disney World to share a kindness report.  My mom friend had left her 13-year-old daughter in charge of her 9-year-old brother as they waited for the sister to have a leather bracelet personalized. When the mother returned a few minutes later, the cast member told her that she was not going to charge her for the daughter's bracelet because the daughter was "the kindest and most respectful" guest she had dealt with all day.  The Disney employee said that not only was the teenager very attentive to her younger brother, but also she waited patiently in line.  "She was on cloud nine," my friend shared of her daughter's reaction.  How wonderful for the Disney employee to recognize kindness and reward it, generating more kindness.  It's that ripple effect...

The Kindness of Organizing a Gathering

"This is the power of gathering: it inspires us, delightfully, to be more hopeful, more joyful, more thoughtful: in a word, more alive."
~ Alice Waters

More than 20 years ago, I met a couple of professional colleagues through work.  Over the years, we worked together on a number of things.  Several years ago, the spouse of one of our mutual colleagues died and one of the gentlemen reached out to organize lunch for four of us.  This gentleman knows the uplifting impact of being in the company of friends.  The four of us have met several times for lunch over the years and it always makes me glad that we stay in touch and have the opportunity to enjoy each other's company.  Another one of our foursome lost his wife last month and the same gentleman organized another lunch for us to get together.

The Kindness of Letting People Know You Miss Them

"It's the person that calls you up because they're eating at 'our favorite spot,' and it made them think of you and miss being there with you.  That's a friend, to me."
~ Crystal Woods

I recently received a text from my dear friend on the other side of the world:  "Miss your voice."  I miss hers, too.  And thank goodness, we were able to talk soon after that text.  Even when you know that someone cares about you and is missing you, it is nice to receive a reminder.

The Kindness of Knowing Another

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

There are so many ways to be thoughtful...  One of my dear mom friends sent me a text with a photo of a small purse that she thought I would like.  She had remembered my complimenting another friend of ours on a similar bag a while back.  I laughed when I saw it as I had just purchased the very purse two days before.  Her text made me think how blessed I am that a friend not only would pay attention to things I am interested in, but also would think to send me something I might like.  It is heartwarming to be known so well.

The Kindness of Directions

"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.  But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions."
~ Chanakya

On my way home from an out-of-town business meeting, I decided to finally use a ride-hailing service (yep, that is what those taxi alternatives are called).  I have taken these types of rides with other people, but had never ventured into that world myself.  Feeling very competent, I downloaded the photo app and requested my ride.  As I was waiting in the lobby of the office building, a colleague was walking in and asked me what I was doing.  I told her I was waiting for my ride and explained that it was my first time using this type of service.  She shared that frequently the drivers go to the back of that particular building, so she took my phone from my hand and expertly made her way through the app.  She contacted my driver and explained to him how to get to where I was.  She gave him directions that I never could have -- "no, you can't go down that street, it's one-way."   When we were certain that he was turning onto our street, my colleague continued on her way upstairs.  And I continued on my way, grateful for her timing and help.

Interesting postscript:  My driver got lost on his way to the airport.  Yep, the app is really neat -- I could see the little car on my phone's screen going in the opposite direction from the airport.  Funnily enough, I would still use the service again.

The Kindness of a Walk in the Rain

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance each day."
~ John Wooden

It was raining when I was ready to leave a luncheon the other day and I did not have an umbrella, so I decided to wait a little bit.  I ended up having a nice conversation with a woman I know.  Although we are several years apart, we used to ride the school bus together when we were in elementary school and we spent some time talking about our school and our adventures with its nuns and teachers.  The rain did not let up, so this woman offered to walk me to my car with her umbrella.  As we approached my car, I thanked her, but she told me she would wait and continue to cover me until I got inside and closed the door.

Remembering Kindness

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
~ Mother Teresa

At an event recently, I ran into a woman I have known for years.  We became friendly when we both served on the alumnae board of our high school.  Although I don't see her very often now, one of the things I remember about her is that she sent me a sympathy card when my grandmother died.  More than 16 years ago.  It occurred to me after I left the event that I should tell how grateful I still am all these years later.

The Kindness of Emojis

"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind."
~ Henry James

Sometimes kindness can be as simple as two emojis.  On a recent afternoon as I was getting ready to come home from a business trip, a dear friend sent me a simple text with two emojis -- an airplane and praying hands.  I couldn't believe that she remembered when I would be flying back.  What a thoughtful thing to do -- especially on World Kindness Day.

* * *

And speaking (or writing) of prayers and thoughtfulness, let us keep all the people of Paris -- especially those affected by today's terrible tragedy -- in our thoughts and prayers.

Kindness and a New Colleague

"I appreciate anything thoughtful."

 - Hilary Rhoda

I was recently at a meeting with about 50 colleagues, some of whom I did not know – including a gentleman who sat next to me.  When we introduced ourselves to each other, he asked me whether I used my whole name, which I thought was very considerate.  Just after sitting down, I realized that I had left my folder with the meeting agenda on a table in the back of the room, but I was in the middle of a row and did not want to climb over people to get it.  When this gentleman realized that I did not have a folder, he gave me his and then went to get mine.  Toward the end of the meeting, we worked in different groups and moved the rows of chairs to other parts of the room.  When I came back to my place, I had no seat.  Before I could go to find a chair, this colleague told me he would get me one and immediately went off to do so.  Before we parted ways at the end of the day, I thanked him for his many kindnesses.  I never learned his last name, but I will remember his thoughtfulness.

Kindness from a Supervisor

“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.”

  - Theodore Roosevelt

At a business meeting I attended recently, a gentleman was at the front of the room making a PowerPoint presentation to the group.  As he went through the slides, he knelt in front of the table on which his laptop sat.  His supervisor quietly and as unobtrusively as possible brought a chair and placed it next to his colleague who was presenting.  I know the supervisor and have always thought of him as a thoughtful person, but his kindness gladdened my heart.

Double Kindness

“To give without any reward, or any notice, has a special quality of its own.”

 -  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When I travel on business, I enlist the help of a number of mothers to shuttle my children to after-school activities.  On my most recent trip, the moms who took my children to their evening activities also fed them.  I know these mothers don’t consider it a big deal, but I consider it a huge kindness.

The Kindness of Speedy Service

"Service is not something you do.  It's something you are."

 - Stella Payton

On a recent business trip, I ended up with very little time for breakfast as a colleague unexpectedly wanted to speak with me before a presentation.  I rushed into the hotel restaurant and asked the waiter what would be the quickest breakfast.  I ordered what he suggested and a couple of minutes later, he came out of the kitchen with my hot breakfast.  Surprised and grateful, I ate quickly and managed to be on my way in less than 10 minutes.  And I managed to make it to the impromptu meeting with plenty of time.

The Kindness of a Colleague’s Hospitality

"There is no hospitality like understanding."

 - Vonna Bonta

I recently had to travel on a Sunday for business after I had spent the weekend not feeling  well.  Traveling felt like more of a challenge than usual, but a colleague in my destination city made it a lot easier.  She picked me up at the airport and then hosted me at her home for dinner with her family.  To my surprise, she also remembered several of my favorite foods and included them in the meal. I was very touched by her thoughtful hospitality.

Kindness and the Cone of Confidentiality

"Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly."
~ George MacDonald

Some people call it the Circle of Trust.  A very good friend of mine calls it the Cone of Confidentiality.  But whatever we call it, it's about being with someone whom you trust to not only keep your secrets or private details safe, but also accept you foibles and all.  People who exist within your Cone of Confidentiality are the kind of people who would never betray someone else's confidence, which is the best indication that they won't betray yours.  And it is a treat to spend time with them because you can truly be yourself.

The Kindness of an Open Door

"I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance."
~ Pablo Casals

I recently was waiting to be buzzed into a doorman building, but the doorman had stepped away from his post.  I tried to be patient in the midday heat.  Through the glass door, I saw an adorable blond little boy running my way.  He couldn't have been more than six years old.  And he opened the door for me.  I looked around to see if his mother had perhaps asked him to do that, but I did not see her.  "Did you decide to open the door for me all by yourself?"  I asked him.  Yes, he replied.  When I walked in and headed toward the elevator, I saw his mother, who had been looking for her son.  I told her that he had been very kind in opening the door for me and I thanked him again.

The Kindness of Calling to Say "Hi"

"It's important to slow down, every now and then, for no other reason than to call someone to say 'Hi.'  It doesn't have to be a long conversation.  Just calling out of the blue does more to let someone know you still care about them than nearly anything else."
~ Simon Sinek

The other day, a friend called me from the airport.  Although he travels, he calls me from all kinds of places to see how I am doing.  I appreciate his check-ins -- as well as his ability to make me laugh no matter what -- more than he can imagine.

The Kindness of Recipes by Text

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others."
~ Albert Schweitzer

On a recent evening, I was at a loss in terms of quick and easy dinner ideas.  Definitely not my strong suit.  So I wrote to two of my dearest mom friends.  Within minutes, I had great recipes via text.  Planning for dinner immediately became easier.  And my guilt at not being a better cook was assuaged by the simple meals they shared.  Nothing like getting a little help from my friends -- again.

The Kindness of Holding Someone's Hand

"We all need each other."
~ Leo Buscaglia

Although it's been decades, I can still remember the feel of my grandfather's hand as he held mine while we walked through a parking lot.  I felt happy and safe.  I was reminded of that recently when I visited a friend at the hospital.  We were very glad to see each other and I spent a few minutes talking with her.  As we sat, we held hands and I marveled at the peace that I felt.  I was so happy to sit there, to talk and laugh with her, and to have her hold my hand.  Other than our significant others and our children, most of us rarely hold hands with other adults.  But what a powerful connection and what great comfort there is when someone holds our hand -- and our heart. 

The Kindness of Letting Others Know You Care

"The simple act of caring is heroic."

~ Edward Albert

There are people who excel at letting others know that they care.  I still remember receiving a phone call more than two years ago after my husband was in a car accident from a friend of ours in Virginia.  Somehow, he seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel better.  I recently received emails from both this friend and his wife regarding a business issue with which I have been dealing.  They were so reassuring.  Being able to transmit concern to others, so that it actually makes them feel better is a gift.

Snippets of Kindness

"My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue,
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold
~ Carole King

Sometimes when I am reflecting on my blessings or at other times when I am wrestling with a challenge, snippets of kindness appear in my mind.  Almost like a tapestry of kindness.  (Yes, I recently saw the Carole King musical.)  I actually thought how neat it would be to be able to wrap myself in a quilt of all that kindness.  The images that pop into my mind range from a visit at an airport from a friend who brought me a birthday treat to times when dear friends have accompanied me on special journeys (both joyful and sad).  And I think of how those people stepped out of their lives and into mine.  They were proactive.  Which reminds me of something that a dear friend once shared, "When in doubt, reach out."  Because snippets of kindness stay with us, and both comfort us and remind us of how very blessed we are.

The Kindness of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

"All men commend patience, although few are willing to practice it."
~ Thomas a Kempis

Halloween always brings a number of surprises.  This year, the surprise was the popularity of a dad dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from the movie Ghostbusters.  Inflatable and with an interior fan, the costume was a hit with parents and children alike.  Numerous parents asked the Marshmallow Man to pose for photos with their children.  One gentleman even asked him to pose with his lawn Halloween decorations.  The Marshmallow Man dad, not known for seeking or enjoying the limelight, patiently posed for all photos.

The Kindness of Costume Assistance

"I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it."
~ Katharine McPhee

It seems fitting on Halloween Eve to write about the kindness of one of my mom friends, who has made preparing for this year's festivities much easier.  This mom, who happens to be the mother of my daughter's best friend, ordered my daughter's costume when she ordered her daughter's, and then went shopping for the requisite shoes and Minnie Mouse ears.  And she delivered it all to my house!

The Kindness of a Sunny Disposition

"Sweeter than the perfume of roses is a reputation for a kind, charitable, unselfish nature; a ready disposition to do to others any good turn in your power."
~ Orison Swett Marden

I recently dropped off my daughter at school a little later than usual.  Why?  Because she had been to a concert the night before.  She was very keen on going late and we had agreed that it would be okay.  But on the way to school, she became a little nervous about showing up late.  When we arrived, I had to accompany her to the office to sign her in.  I had told her that I would just say that she had needed a little extra rest -- which was true, of course.  When we arrived, the administrative assistant in the office gave my daughter a big smile, which immediately put my daughter at ease.  And then asked her, "Taylor Swift?"  She had a paper in front of her with a column of girls' names and Taylor Swift written next to them as the reason for their being tardy.  "So how was the concert?" she asked my daughter, who was thrilled to give her the headlines.  As I walked back to my car, I thought how kindly the administrative assistant had treated my daughter and how her sunny disposition had brightened my day as well.  What a gift!

The Kindness of Driving

"Love only grows by sharing.  You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others."
~ Brian Tracy

One of the nicest things that someone can do for me is to offer to drive.  And that is just what my lovely friend did the other night.  Our children take evening classes together and just as I was getting ready to head out the door, she texted to ask if I wanted her to drive.  I was delighted!  In addition to not having to drive myself, her company is always a treat.