Facing Fear with Kindness

"When you learn to smile at your fear, to be with your fear, you become an authentic friend to yourself, and thereby develop confidence."
― Pema Chödrön

After yesterday's post on smiling, a dear friend wrote that she has been at the hospital with her mother who had surgery:  "I’ve also been smiling at everyone in the hospital because as you know hospitals can be scary places.  Practicing smiling more is a very good thing. " 

Wow, I thought, she  is being kind in a scary place by smiling, facing fear with smiles.  If anyone can light up the room, it is this friend of mine -- she smiles, she is kind, she is funny.  I have no doubt that she is a tremendous source of support and kindness for her mom -- just what the doctor would order for someone going through surgery.  But I also imagine that her easy smile and breezy laughter extend her kindness to the nurses and hospital personnel.

Sometimes, when we are afraid either for ourselves or for others, it is hard to smile.  Instead of smiling, we tense up.  And sometimes, we don't show others the compassion and kindness that we would like because we are afraid.

Smiling at fear is a way to be kind to yourself as Pema Chödrön says.  It is a way of looking at the fear, seeing it and yet knowing that it is going to be okay -- being with the fear is what Chödrön says will ultimately get us to a place of bravery.  She encourages us to "look honestly into ourselves, so that we can be fearless, gentle people."

Smiling during scary times and in scary places can be a manifestation of kindness not only to others, but also to ourselves.