Kindness and Saying Goodbye

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”
―  Dalai Lama XIV 

Several years ago, a good friend's grandfather died, just before turning 103.  He had lived a long, good life.  A hard worker, he had dedicated himself to his family.

When my friend made the funeral arrangements, she told the funeral director that a small chapel would suffice.  Her grandfather was, after all, nearly 103, so the family did not expect many mourners or flowers.

But Don José, as he was known, was beloved as is his family, so the people came and the flowers came.  The funeral director had to open another chapel to accommodate the flowers and when that chapel was filled, the flowers lined the hallway in the funeral home.

At the cemetery, the wreaths of flowers were placed on top of the grave.  After most of the mourners had gone, there were a handful of us left with his granddaughter.  It was an overcast day.  Every bit as practical and generous as her grandfather, my friend offered flowers to those of us who were there.  She gave some to me for my relatives' graves, which are in the same cemetery.  Then she gave some flowers to another friend to take home.  But there were still so many flowers...

Before we knew it, my friend was taking flowers from the mountain of wreaths on her grandfather's grave and putting them on other people's graves.  We followed suit.  It was a surreal experience.  We went from grave to grave placing flowers until it seemed that all the graves in sight were adorned with flowers.  My friend's kindness and generosity brightened the cemetery on that otherwise gray day.  And the experience has stayed with me. 

"I always remember that day as a happy day, which made me realize that when you finish a sad chapter with a smile, all you will remember is the smile," my friend recalled recently.  "Based on that, I can talk about it without crying.  The last chapter with my grandfather was crazy and funny -- we put flowers all over the graves and then went out to dinner.  It was a great celebration of life ... Acts of kindness are amazing because what they do for you is much more than what you do."