Saturday, June 15, 2013

Patience = kindness = love

"Love is patient, love is kind."
― 1 Corinthians 13: 4

That verse from Corinthians was one of the first things I thought about this morning, just before I realized, "I did what?! A blog... really?"

When my children were little, I used to tell them, "Patience is waiting with a smile."  After all, if you are waiting in a bad mood, that is not exactly patience, right?

As I think about kindness, it occurs to me that patience has a lot to do with being kind.  In a recent Oprah newsletter, columnist Leigh Newman writes that an "enormously kind" thing that you can say to someone is "Take your time. I'm not in a rush."   Think grocery store cashier line, restaurant, wherever.

Because life -- and notably information -- seems to be coming at us at breakneck speed, we feel that we need to live fast.  Moms are notorious for this:  rush, rush, rushing... pick-ups, drop-offs, errands, trying to work, paint, write (ha!) ...  So what happens when we decide to show -- to give -- patience? 

I decided today that patience would be our way to show kindness.  My children and I talked about it a lot and I think they all made a super effort to be patient, especially at an event this evening when adult conversations went on way past any reasonable bedtime.  I also noticed that we continue to get better about holding doors, letting others go first, etc.

But as I focused on patience, I realized that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to be patient with them.  (I didn't say it was easy...)  And so earlier today, as I sat with one of my children, who was deciding whether a tummy ache would keep us from attending an event that my husband wanted us to go to, I thought about what an extraordinary gift it was -- to just be with my child, to not think of hurrying, to wait and let it be.  That might have made it easier to be patient with myself a while later as I drove to the event and got lost in a university maze of buildings and parking lots.  Fortunately, I had no idea (and neither did my husband who was waiting for us) that he would be getting a lovely award at this event or being patient with the children and myself might have been impossible.

Today I learned that patience is an incredible gift.  And as with most gifts, the giving benefits not only the recipient, but also the giver.

P.S.  I asked my husband whether I could mention his award on my blog and he said no, so I won't tell you that he was given the "Heart of Gold" award by a wonderful group of young people whom he has been helping.

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