Punctuality as Kindness

"Punctuality is the politeness of kings."
― Louis XVIII of France                            

I was thinking about punctuality as kindness yesterday.   I tend toward the organized (at least in my mind) and I think being polite is important (and kind, actually), so I greatly value punctuality and admire people who practice it consistently.

One of the few quotes that I found on punctuality is the one attributed to Louis XVIII.  Apparently, before the French Revolution, kings did not need to be punctual as everyone had to wait for them.  I imagine this is still true as I have no doubt that no one leaves if Queen Elizabeth is late.  But Louis XVIII felt that punctuality was one way that a king could show respect for his people and hence the quote.

Punctuality does seem to have much to do with respect.  We all know how we feel when we wait longer than feels reasonable at a doctor's office or for a friend.  One of the things we feel is disrespected.

A dear friend of mine who is both an executive at a multi-national corporation and a dedicated mother always seems to run on schedule.  A devoted friend, she is one of those people who not only shows up, but also arrives on time or early.  I asked her about it. 

"People's time is valuable," she said.  "If I arrive late, I may be impacting something else they are going to do that day.  I also think that punctuality is a way of showing that the other person and their time is important to you. "

Yesterday, I arrived to a morning meeting a few minutes late (which made me feel very stressed out), so I was especially pleased with myself when I left with enough time to arrive early with my children to their dental appointment.  I noticed how relaxed I was on the drive, not stressed, and it was that sense of having ample mental space that made me think about punctuality as kindness.  It is so much easier to think of something as kindness if we are practicing it, as opposed to engaging in its opposite.

As one of my children was in the dentist's chair, our dentist and I were discussing this blog and I shared with her my latest idea -- about punctuality as kindness.  I went on about Louis XVIII, which I had researched as I sat in her waiting room.  And I recounted how I had been a few minutes late this morning, but how being early to this appointment had made me think about punctuality.

"You were late here, too, " she said.

"What?!" I gasped.  Just not possible.  I was so proud to have been 10 minutes early.

"No, your appointment was two hours ago," she said.  "The kindness was that we saw you!"

Oops.  I guess sometimes when you think you are the giver of kindness, you may be the unexpected recipient of it.