The Kindness of an Unexpected Gift

"Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness."
~ Richard Bach

A woman with whom I work recently shared that she had been in a large meeting in a room that was very cold. A colleague from out of the country whom she had never met before noticed that she was cold and offered her a scarf, which she wore for the whole day. At the end of the day when she went to return the scarf, the colleague insisted that it was a gift.

The Kindness of a Mid-Morning Sweet

“I work best when there’s a safety trampoline of kindness.”

~ Ruth Negga

At a recent all-day business meeting, I decided mid-morning that my resolve to stay away from the sweet snacks that I had seen earlier was gone and that I needed a sugary pick-me-up to see me through until lunch.  But when I went to where the sweets had been set out, there was none left.  I walked by the table a couple of times in the hope that the tray was just being replenished, but no.  On a mission, I spied two of the servers in conversation.  I apologized for the interruption and asked if there were any pastries left.  One of the two, a very nice gentleman, immediately offered to go check in the kitchen.  He returned with a tray filled with the sugary treats, a plate and tongs, and offered them to me.  I thanked him profusely and he assured me that eating one of them always made him feel better.  Back at my table a few minutes later, I was grateful for my snack and his kindness.

The Kindness of a Reminder

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”

~ Bill Watterson

My lovely friend is very wise.  Recently, as I went off somewhere I did not want to go, she texted:  “Enjoy every moment even if you don’t want to be there.”  I smiled when I read her reminder and I vowed to give it a go.  Her advice enabled me to enjoy impromptu conversations with strangers and to appreciate moments of silence.  And probably best of all, her wisdom encouraged me to open my heart to the present moment.

The Kindness – and Blessing – of Old Friends

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I recently attended my high school reunion.  It was great to see women with whom I stay in touch as well as those whom I rarely, if ever, see.  I especially enjoyed spending time with my oldest friends – the ones who went to school with me since elementary school.  Four of us took a photo in our 4^th Grade classroom, standing where we remembered our desks once stood.  I shared it with a mom friend, who said, “What a blessing!” 

Kindness to Each Other

“Friendly people are caring people, eager to provide encouragement and support when needed most.”

~ Rosabeth Moss Kanter

On a recent evening, I was at an event with my lovely friend and her husband.  She and I were having one of our many usual conversations, and her husband observed that our conversations seemed to consist of building each other up.  We both looked at him with a look that asked, why wouldn’t we do that?  Isn’t that what friends are for?  I know that there are people who relate to each other with putdowns and sarcasm, but as I have gotten older, I realize that the people I enjoy the most are the ones who realize that we are on this earth to be good to each other.

The Kindness of a Few Nudges

“It’s amazing what a little encouragement can do.”

~ Winnie Harlow

Nearly six months ago, I was thrilled to find out that a motivational speaker whose books I love would be coming to town.  I purchased several tickets and envisioned my entire family attending the event.  But then life got in the way.  There were tired teenagers, late work appointments, a dance…  It looked as though there was no way to go.  My husband, who had no interest in the speaker, said I should go.  He told me that we rarely regret the things we do – it’s the things that we don’t do that we wish we had.  (Of course, I reminded him that this may be true of adults, but certainly not teenagers.)  Then my son joined the fray and said that he would not go to his school dance unless I promised that I would go to hear my speaker after I dropped him off.  And finally, my lovely friend, who was at the event, encouraged me to go and her husband offered me his seat.  Well, it took me more than an hour of driving down very dark roads and I first drove to the wrong place, but eventually, I made it.  I arrived late and had to leave early, but I am grateful for all the nudges that got me there.

The Kindness of Saving Orchids… and Helping Friends

“Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends.  It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.”

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

One of my dearest friends is an orchid expert.  She loves orchids, grows orchids…  I, on the other hand, have the opposite of a green thumb.  Some time ago, I had sent her a photo of an orchid that I was not sure was dead or alive.  She patiently explained to me what to look for in terms of signs of life.  And then just yesterday, she sent me photos and a step-by-step guide of how to assess life in an orchid and how to revive it.  All this via text.  One of her other friends had asked for her assistance and she had compiled the photos and texts for her.  Remembering that I had orchid issues, too, my wonderful friend sent me the information also.

The Kindness of a Grandmother’s Visits

“My grandmother influenced me so deeply.”

~ Jan Karon

My mother has a very busy life – she works full-time and then some and is involved in many community activities, but she always makes time to visit my children.  Fortunately, she lives close by, so she stops by often.  Sometimes, she comes for dinner and is treated to the latest goings-on in the adventures of her teenage granddaughters, and sometimes, it’s a quick visit for hugs and whatever baked goods my children have made.  I know that my mother must be tired some evenings and that she would prefer to go home.  But I truly appreciate the effort she makes.  Her extra effort translates into her being an important part of my children’s lives and she is creating memories that they will always treasure.

Small Kindnesses

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

I’m not sure that there is any such thing as a small kindness.  The person who is sharing the kindness might feel that it is no big deal, but I don’t think the recipient ever feels that way.  In part, I think this is true because we often don’t know what is going on with someone else – especially people we don’t know well, and so we don’t know who might need a little kindness. 

Recently, I went to pick up baked goods at a friend’s house.  She bakes delicious pumpkin breads with chocolate chips.  I had ordered one loaf, but she brought me two.  She said that she had wanted to give me an extra one for a while, but she kept running out.  I told her that her timing was perfect.  It had been one of those days and her kindness was just what I needed.

The Kindness of Saving the Day

“The greatest gift we give each other is peace of mind.”

~ MM

A friend of mine wrote the above quote on a gift tag that she gave me a few years ago.  I have kept it with me ever since and I was reminded of the sentiment recently when I called on her – yet again – to save the day.  I had to pick up two of my children and transport them to an evening activity when I got a migraine headache.  I called my wonderful friend, who thankfully was not far away from where my children were.  Without hesitating, she agreed to pick them up and take them where they needed to go.  She saved the day and gave me peace of mind.  Again.

The Kindness of Courage

“So don’t be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful…”

~ Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly

At my son’s former school, each 5^th grader is considered a “senior” as it is the highest grade at the school.  Before they graduate, the 5^th Grade students each deliver a “senior sermon," which is based on a Gospel reading.  On a recent Sunday, we were treated to a sermon given by a 5^th Grade girl.  She delivered a wonderful sermon about the Bible passage where Jesus invites the first apostles to follow him.  This girl talked about how Jesus was inviting them to be the best versions of themselves.  She said that that the school, her teachers and her friends had helped her become the best version of herself.  Then she played the guitar and sang “True Colors.”  I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.  I admired her courage.

A Kind Countenance

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance.”

~ King Solomon

At church recently, I observed one of the volunteers – a Eucharistic minister – taking Communion to someone who was not able to walk to the front.  The volunteer had the kindest expression and smile on his face.  Another person asked him to take Communion to someone else.  The Eucharistic minister nodded and smiled, and headed off.  It made me think how wonderful it is when you encounter people whose very faces seem to radiate light and kindness and all good things.

Kindness and Birthday Thoughtfulness

“Three things in human life are important.  The first is to be kind.  The second is to be kind.  And the third is to be kind.”

~ Henry James

A friend of mine has a great aunt who is in her 90s and celebrating a birthday.  My friend wanted to send her aunt a gift card for her favorite restaurant, but she made sure that the gift card was enough so that her aunt could also invite a friend.

The Kindness of an Amazing Thank You Note

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say ‘thank you’?”

~ William Arthur Ward

I love writing thank you notes, but I am always woefully behind on my social correspondence.  Last night, I received a note that encouraged me to get back on track.  I had sent a gift to a friend who had a baby.  She texted me when she received it and said she would follow up with a “proper” thank you.  I told her not to worry about sending a note.  After all, she had thanked me, and she has her hands full with a newborn and a toddler.  But I received her handwritten thank you note a few days later and it is one of the most thoughtful notes I have ever received.  Given how much her note meant to me, I decided to redouble my commitment to saying thank you.  I don’t know that I will ever catch up, but her kind note was a reminder of how much a thank you can be appreciated.

The Kindness of Telephone Cheer

“Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.”

~  Kenneth Branagh

I recently returned a call to a furniture delivery service.  The woman’s incredibly cheerful greeting made me laugh out loud.  I couldn’t speak for a few seconds and all that could be heard was the two of us laughing on the phone.  When I recovered, I complimented her on her cheerful greeting and we confirmed the delivery that was the original purpose of the call. My brief interaction with this person I’ve never seen left me smiling for quite some time.  How great is that?

The Kindness of an Invitation

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.”

~ Robert Southey

One of my college roommates is more sister than friend.  And during our college days, I became very close to her mother.  We all live in different states now, but my college roommate has recently been spending more time in my city – lucky me.  Recently, her mother celebrated her birthday with a visit here and my friend organized lunch for the three of us.  

The Kindness of a Barista

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”

~ José Ortega y Gasset

Recently, I was at my neighborhood coffee shop waiting for my “drink” – a green tea concoction with soy milk and very light on the tea.  As I was standing there, a barista asked his co-worker who had made my drink how many scoops of tea he had put in it.  The answer was too many and the first barista told his colleague that he had misunderstood the instructions.  I asked the first barista how he knew and he said that my drink looked too dark.  I was amazed – and grateful – that he remembered how light I take my tea.

The Kindness of Cooking… and Leftovers

“The table is a meeting place, a gathering ground, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivity, safety, and satisfaction.  A person cooking is a person giving:  Even the simplest food is a gift.”

~  Laurie Colwin

There is a woman at our church who is a great cook.  Whenever she is in charge of the coffee hour after the Sunday service, everyone looks forward to what she makes and prepares.  A recent Sunday was no exception.  Among the delicious treats she provided were her signature sweet and savory meatballs and a lemon cake.  Imagine my delight when she gave me the leftovers for our family!

The Kindness of Thank Yous

“Take time to be kind and to say ‘thank you.’”

~ Zig Ziglar

For Christmas, we gave teachers at my children’s schools baked goods.  Simple gifts, just different flavored loaves of bread.  To my surprise, we have continued to receive thank you notes from the teachers.  I’m delighted – not so much because it’s nice to know that they enjoyed the gifts and took the trouble to write, but because I think it’s a wonderful example for my children.

Kindness, Love and A Shoulder

“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad.”

~ Jim DeMint

I recently attended a Mass after a two-day retreat for a group of teenage girls.  As I looked around the church, there were a number of girls with their heads on their fathers’ or mothers’ shoulders.  These girls were mostly 16 and 17, but after a couple of days away from home and presumably a bit of soul searching, they weren’t too old to find kindness – and love – on their parents’ shoulders.  

The Kindness of Making Christmas Last

“Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.”

~ Bryan White

My mother received a very nice box of home-baked goodies this week.  They were from a relative’s daughter.  The relative had passed away a few years back, but her daughter sent a box of baked cookies and other goodies.  They were treats that her mother used to bake, and the daughter included her mother’s recipes.

Kindness and Hospitality

“Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.”

~ Washington Irving

I recently went to a friend’s house for a meeting about an upcoming event at our church.  I imagined that she might have a couple of snacks for us, but she greeted us with an amazing array of delicious treats ranging from Manchego cheese with fig preserves to small spinach and cheese pies.  These were all things that she just keeps in her fridge or picked up.  No big deal, she assured us.  And then she treated us to her homemade peach cobbler!

The Kindness of a Message

“I shall pass this world but once.  Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now.  Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

My lovely friend went to Montana last summer with her family.  While there, she went to Mass in the middle of nowhere.  At the church, an older woman gave her a piece of paper with this quote typed on it.  I have seen the quote attributed to William Penn as well as simply quoted as a Quaker saying.  Regardless of its origin, it is a beautiful message.  My lovely friend has treasured both the message and the encounter with the woman, and she recently shared it with a couple of us.

The Kindness of a Wonderful Listener

“I like to listen.  I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen.”

~ Ernest Hemingway

I have a friend who is an amazing listener.  As you might imagine, she has been that way as long as I can remember.  And we have been friends for more than three decades.  Recently, we were together on a weekend afternoon.  As we drove, I was chattering almost mindlessly about an insignificant encounter with an old friend, and it wasn’t until quite some time into our being together that I learned that she had been through quite an adventure the night before.  I asked her how she could not have told me.  She said we would get to it eventually.  But that is how she is and has always been.  It’s never about her.

Kindness and Winter Woollies

“Every minute of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style.”

~ Rebecca Soinit

Recently, I was planning a trip up north with one of my children.  Given that I don’t own that many cold-weather clothes, I was going to go shopping for a couple of things.  However, my steadfast friend, who had just returned from Canada, told me to stop by her house before I bought anything.  When I arrived, she had laid out several coats for my daughter and me to try on.  She lent us two coats as well as gloves, neck warmers and a number of other things to keep us warm.  Extreme weather resulted in our trip being canceled, but I greatly appreciated my steadfast friend’s loan of her winter clothes and accessories.

Kindness and French Fries

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."

~ Princess Diana

My son really likes the French "steak frites" -- steak and fries.  One of the things that he wanted to do during Christmas break was to go to our favorite French cafe and enjoy his favorite dish.  So we planned the lunch and he very much looked forward to it.  When my son ordered at the restaurant, the owner said that her fryer was broken, so she could not serve fries.  But when she brought out our meals, my son's plate had a steak and fries.  I asked her how she had managed and she said that she had made them on the stove top for him.

Kindness at the Hardware Store

"Kindness can come from someone on Twitter, it can come from someone on the street.  It can come from someone at work.  Without kindness, I don't know what I would do.  The greatest part of life is the simple things."
~ Andie McDowell

As odd as it would sound to anyone who knows me, I recently went to the hardware store.  Odder still, I took a couple of pieces of a book shelf that I was trying to assemble.  The pieces were heavy and a bit bulky, so I asked one of the employees at the store if he could go out to my car to take a look at what I was trying to put together.  The young man walked out to my car and helped me bring the pieces inside.  He found the type of screws I needed, assembled the pieces I had brought, and then carried my book shelf out to my car for me.

Kindness and a Christmas Centerpiece

"Deliberately seek opportunities for kindness, sympathy and patience."
~ Evelyn Underhill

We have friends from out-of-town who also have a home where we live, and they visit several times a year.  After their most recent visit, I found a package outside my door.  They had left a beautiful Christmas centerpiece for us to enjoy.

Kindness, Old Friends and a Christmas Ornament

“To be with old friends is very warming and comforting.”

~ Ian Ziering

During Christmas, I received an incredibly thoughtful gift from a childhood friend, with whom I went to school from elementary school through high school.  A couple of months ago, we got together with a handful of our best childhood friends after an event at our former school.  My friend sent me an ornament that was a small, framed photo of the five of us from our most recent meeting with a small plaque that had the year on it.  It is a beautiful gift and it came lovingly wrapped in Christmas tree tissue paper with a very sweet note.  I marveled at her thoughtfulness and at the effort – all the steps involved in getting that wonderful gift to me and to our other friends.

Kindness and Two Cookies

“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

I recently drove my son to a sandwich shop near our home.  I waited for him in the car.  At one point, he came back to the car because the store was having trouble with the register and could only accept cash, and I had initially given him a credit card.  When he returned with his sandwich, he also had a big smile.  The cashier had given him two cookies – no charge.  

Kindness and Holiday Traditions

“Christmas is far and away my favorite holiday.  I love everything about it, from the event that inspired it, hoping for a white one, to wrapping presents.  But mostly I love having family and friends gathered, and sharing traditions.”

~ Ellen Hopkins

There are many holiday traditions that have been with us since childhood and then there are the ones we develop along the way.  A former colleague and I decided several years ago that we would make going to one of our favorite restaurants a holiday tradition.  And for several years now, we have been meeting with friends from out of town on the first day of the year for an extended visit and gift exchange.  Spending time with those we love is an incredible gift we both give and receive.