The Kindness of Giving Space

"It is necessary to help others, not only in our prayers, but in our daily lives.  If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is desist from harming them."
―  Dalai Lama

A few days ago, I wrote about the challenge of being kind to the people we love the most -- spouses, children, parents ...  It seems that even the kindest people wrestle with this, as I continue to hear from my Kindness Muses.

One of the Muses wrote from overseas yesterday:  "I believe that my kindness to friends has always been above average and my ability to express it somewhat effortless.  Why I can't do the same with family perplexes me." 

After a weekend filled with family visitors, another Muse wrote:  "It is often true that the kindness gene can be left outside of the front door when entering the home where you are amidst the people you love the most.  I don’t have children at home, but know that with my husband, there are times when we are short with one another or say things that should be left unsaid.  I am of the belief though that if someone is short or shows anger or impatience, they will respond better if I show kindness back.  I think we should all allow our loved ones space – there are times when we just have a bad day and it’s best to just give ample space and not place blame or make it worse." 

Giving someone we love space sometimes means that we have to let go of being right or of having our needs immediately met, but it can be a powerful and much-needed kindness.  It has taken me a long time to learn this and I frequently forget it.  But when I do remember to give the gift of space, it always seems to work as a soothing balm.  Perhaps those we treasure most can feel the love in the calming kindness of space.