The Very Bearable Kindness of Breathing

"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts.  Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again."
―  Thich Nhat Hanh

Years ago, during a very difficult period in my life -- my father was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer, someone I knew would tell me "just breathe."  Her well-intentioned attempts at calming me down had the opposite effect.  I thought her advice preposterous, and it actually angered me.  I didn't get it.  It soundly, frankly, so stupid!  Whenever we received an update of more bad news -- it was not an ulcer but cancer, the cancer had metastasized, time to call hospice, this woman would tell me "just breathe." 

Now, years later and hopefully a little more evolved, I shake my head at the irony of my reaction.  Breathing would have helped me -- a lot.  Through the practice of yoga, I have come to understand and appreciate the kindness and sheer power of breathing.

In yoga and in meditation classes, we are directed to focus on the breath.  For some of us, that focus on the breath to the exclusion of all else is a challenge -- even for a few breaths.  There is the perennial "monkey mind," jumping from worry to worry, running up and down our to-do list, ruminating ...  So busy.  And yet, when we can manage to quiet our monkey minds and meditate, this kindness has lasting impact.  Research shows that a regular practice of controlled breathing can decrease the effects of stress on the body as well as increase physical and mental health.

It is well established that meditation helps us to regulate our emotions and to handle difficult situations.  Research has shown that there are changes to the brain when someone is meditating.  In addition, the results of a Harvard study published in November 2012 indicate that participating in an eight-week meditation training program can have measurable effects on how the brain functions even when the person is not meditating.  The effect of meditation lasts longer than scientists had previously found.

Sylvia Boorstein, a psychotherapist and co-founder of a well-known meditation center in California, has written various books, including Happiness is an Inside Job.  In a section of that book titled Restoring the Mind to Kindness, Boorstein writes that after 30 years of practicing meditation, she considers her practice successful because of one major difference in her life:  "I now trust that even when what is happening to me is difficult and my response to it is painful, I will not suffer if I can keep my mind clear enough to keep my heart engaged."  She does this by telling herself to relax and breathe.

Boorstein says that paying attention to one's breath accomplishes two things:  First, by lengthening the breath, we calm our bodies.  Second, focusing on the breath calms the mind and begins to clear it.  "Even a small amount of clarity reminds the mind it could possibly choose a helpful response," Boorstein writes.  "That awareness provides hope and courage."    

The kindness of breathing calms our bodies and our minds.  So ...  dare I say it?  Just breathe.