Kindness and a Kit Kat

"All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

~ Charles Schulz

I love Kit Kat bars -- chocolate, in general, of course.  So what a nice surprise when my daughter's best friend showed up at our home before 8 a.m. with a Kit Kat for me!

Kindness and a Compliment from a Teenager

"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions -- the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment."

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Compliments are always nice, of course, but incredibly appreciated when they come from a teenager -- a fashionista one, at that.  A woman I know attended a funeral Mass and on her way out, exchanged greetings with the daughter of a friend, a fashion-forward teenager who complimented her outfit.  The compliment immediately made the woman smile.

The Kindness of Prayer

"Intercessory prayer might be defined as loving our neighbor on our knees."

~ Charles Bent

I have a friend who is always available for prayer assistance.  She doesn't ask questions and never repeats things you don't want her to share.  I recently asked her for prayers for a friend.  And I had no doubt that it would be done.

Kindness and Teenage Volunteers

"The idea of kids helping other kids is such a great way to introduce children to being involved in charitable causes and volunteer work, setting them on the path to doing good for others throughout their lives."

~ Brandy Norwood

Two teenage girls, best friends but attending different high schools, recently got a gig working at a summer camp.  They are volunteers, but they wake up early on summer days nonetheless.  They coordinate lunches and outfits, and off they go -- happy to spend the day helping younger girls.

Kindness, Birthdays and Best Friends

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.”

~ Brian Tracy

One of my children celebrated a birthday recently.  A couple of weeks before, my daughter had a weekend sleepover at her godmother’s vacation home with 10 of her good friends to celebrate.  On the morning of her birthday, my daughter’s best friend surprised my her with breakfast and then spent the day with us.  Friends are one of the greatest gifts that we can enjoy, and my daughter has been blessed in this regard.  And I have, too.  My best friends celebrate my children’s birthdays.  Whether it’s hosting their sleepovers or calling from Europe or joining us for pizza on a work night or shipping a gift to arrive right on time, they celebrate what is important to me.  And that is an incredible gift that I greatly treasure.

Kindness and a Little Help Up the Stairs

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W. H. Auden

Traveling always presents opportunities for kindness and my latest trip was no exception.  Getting on this particular flight involved going up stairs from the tarmac.  I was carrying my rollerboard and an oversized tote, and helping my mother with her suitcase. Fortunately, the line was moving very slowly, so it enabled me to hoist one bag on a step, then the other bag and then climb the step, and continue with that pattern.  I was less than halfway up when a gentleman behind me said, “If you leave it right there, I will carry it up for you.”  Priceless.

Kindness and a Little Hand

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."
~ St. Teresa of Calcutta

On a recent Saturday evening, I attended a Mass in a city far from home. I found myself missing my children. At one point during the Mass, people join hands to pray. Nearly always, I join hands only with family members or friends who are with me. But this time, I felt a little hand grab mine. An adorable little girl, about seven or eight years old with black curly hair and a huge smile, held my hand to pray. She had been sitting several feet away with her father and sister but they moved closer so that we could all hold hands. She smiled up at me and I smiled back, and I immediately felt my spirits lift.

Kindness and Seltzer

"We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It's our job every day to make every aspect of the customer experience a little bit better."
~ Jeff Bezos

Our local pizza place is truly like the bar in "Cheers" -- where everybody knows your name.  On a recent evening when I walked in, I said, "It's time for dinner."  And the guy behind the counter said, "And we are here to cook for you."  They also always give me a cup of seltzer water, which is what I drink, and don't charge me for it.  And when my husband picks up the food, they send it home with him -- even if we have not asked for it.

Kindness After Freebie Hours

"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

~ Humphry Davy

One of my children and I recently took the ride-sharing service in our community to run a couple of errands -- the last of which was picking up dinner.  Unfortunately, we were not finished by 8 pm when the ride-sharing service stops running.  We tried calling two relatives to no avail.  And then one of my wonderful mom friends called.  "Where are you?"  I immediately asked.  As luck would have it, she was in the same shopping center where we were, and she and her husband graciously took us -- and our food -- home.

The Kindness of Lovely Words

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

~ Audrey Hepburn

It is amazing how so much of what we say isn't really nice.  There is the negative comment about someone else -- typically not present; there is the put down of someone present -- subtle or otherwise; there is the question raised that carries within it not just curiosity, but judgment; there is the snarky comment or laugh at someone else's expense that generates a shared chuckle and the perception of closeness among those involved...  I have wondered what it would be like to only speak in ways that contribute positively to the conversation -- completely aspirational for me.  But then there is my lovely friend.  She seems to always find the good in situations; she is supportive; and she never expresses curiosity that is not based in genuine concern.

The Kindness of Just Being With

"Being fully present is the best guarantee for a bright future."

~ Guy Finley

Our dear friends who had been living on the other side of the world for two years recently came back.  To say that my family are I are thrilled is an understatement.  When I saw my friend for the first time in nearly a year, I kept looking at her in amazement -- it was hard to believe she was there in person.  Before coming back to our city, my friend had spent some time with her sister, and my friend shared how special it was to just be with her sister.  We live in such a fast-paced world with so much coming at us constantly that it is easy to miss the precious gift of just being with those we love.

The Kindness of Leftovers

"I don't think love is a tricky issue at all.  Love is best understood when we share: Share time, energy, food, resources, insights, information, whatever."

~ Jason Mraz

My mother has people over for dinner every now and then, and I am fortunate to always receive most of the leftovers.  Late on a recent Saturday evening, I received the latest delivery.  It provided lunch the next day and even a couple of meals after that.  Always a treat.

Kindness on Fathers' Day

"Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart."

~ Henri Frederic Amiel

I sent Fathers' Day greetings to various friends, including the husbands of some of my mom friends.  One of the dads wrote back:  "Thank you for your friendship and the love you show my family."  He and his wife are part of our village.  Our children are very good friends and the families spend quite a bit of time together.  We help each other out on this amazing journey that is parenthood.  I was touched that on a day when fathers are enjoying felicitations and attention, this father sent such a thoughtful message.

The Kindness of a Ride -- Reprise

"The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it."

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

When you are a one-car family, you find kindness in rides.  On a recent evening, we were on our way to meet friends at our favorite pizza place.  I shared with one of the other moms that I was going to call our local free ride-sharing service, but she said she would pick us up.  You don't have enough room in your car, I pointed out.  No problem, she said.  She dropped off her children at the pizzeria and then came to pick up my children and me.

Kindness, a Stranger and a Rescue

"People rescue each other.  They build shelters and community kitchens and ways to deal with lost children and eventually rebuild one way or another."

~ Rebecca Soinit

I recently met my mother at a bookstore.  She was on her way to a dinner, so she left before I did.  A few minutes later when I walked out to the parking lot, I saw my mother's car backing out of a parking space, but my mother standing outside the car.  There was a man in the car.  "Who is that man in your car?" I yelled from several cars away.  My mother smiled as the man got out and she got in.  She drove to where I was and explained that she was having trouble getting the car out of the space and the man offered to help.  "Someone always comes to rescue me," said the woman who has been rescuing others for decades.

Kindness and Music

"Without music, life is a journey through a desert."

~ Pat Conroy

My son and I recently took a morning ride from the free ride-sharing service in our neighborhood.  The driver, a very friendly young man, told us that as we were the first ride of the day, he wanted to start the day right with good music.  He asked what we would like to hear.  I asked if he could play Abba's "Dancing Queen," a personal favorite.  Sure, he said.  And off we drove, enjoying the morning and the music.

Kindness and Food

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

~ Virginia Woolf

As I was on my way to a late afternoon meeting, I realized that I had not eaten lunch, but I was too short on time to do much about it.  I was pleasantly surprised when one of the other meeting participants walked into the meeting with a box of empanadas to share.  It seems that I was not the only one who had skipped lunch.  All of us, especially the hungrier ones, were grateful for the unexpected treat.

Kindness and a Ride Home

"If you have an impulse to kindness, act on it."

~ Douglas Coupland

I recently attended a business meeting with a colleague and someone I had just met.  My colleague had to leave first, and the other woman and I stayed and continued our conversation.  When we finished, she asked where I was going.  I told her I was going to take an Uber home.  No, she insisted.  And although she had about an hour's drive in the opposite direction, she drove out of her way to take me home.

Kindness in the Elevator

"Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."

~ Barbara De Angelis

An elementary school boy was getting into the elevator to go up to his apartment when an elderly gentleman using a walker slowly approached the elevator.  The boy held the elevator door open for the gentleman and asked him what floor he was going to.  The boy pushed the button for the older gentleman's floor and told the man he would accompany him.  When the door opened, the boy held it open again for the elderly gentleman.  "You're a very kind young man," the older man said.  And the boy beamed.

A Weekend Full of Kindness

"I'm just thankful for everything, all the blessings in my life, trying to stay that way.  I think that's the best way to start your day and finish your day.  It keeps everything in perspective."

~ Tim Tebow

Sometimes a weekend is so full of kindness that you don't even know where to begin.  There is the host at her weekend home who welcomes a bevy of teenagers for three days of fun.  There are the parents who generously drive their daughters and friends the more than an hour and a half that it takes to get there.  There is the dad who can only take his daughter for one night and so he stays at a nearby hotel to make the whole thing work.  And there is your mom friend who stays the night, who cooks and who helps you do several loads of wash after everyone is gone.  One of the highlights of the weekend is feeling truly blessed.

Kindness and Sharing

“Each of us finds his unique vehicle for sharing with others his bit of wisdom.”

~ Ram Dass

I recently spent the weekend with a group of teenage girls.  Over breakfast one morning, we talked about social media and other issues with which teenagers grapple.  Seeking to understand some of what goes on, I asked them several questions about their views.  I was pleasantly surprised to find them answering my questions with what seemed great candor.  The experience was a wonderful glimpse into the minds of at least some teenage girls.

Kindness and Generosity

“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like.  More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.”

~ Dennis Prager

We recently celebrated one of our children’s birthdays at the weekend home of one of our children’s godmothers.  It was incredibly gracious for the godmother and her husband to host not only my family, but also nearly a dozen teenagers.  But the kindness did not end there.  When I mentioned in passing to the godmother that I wasn’t sure in which car we would drive to their home given my husband’s recent accident, she offered me her car.  I was a bit hesitant because it is a nice car and quite new.  But she insisted and next thing I knew, she came over to my house to drop it off.

Kindness and More Photos

"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving.  What you have caught on film is captured forever...  It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything."

~ Aaron Siskind

I frequently mention taking and sharing of photos as a kindness and that is because I love photos.  And photos take on additional meaning when they are related to special moments because often, in the craziness of a special occasion, we miss moments that we at least will want to remember in photos.  (I actually did not remember that a dear friend was at my wedding until he proved it via photo.)

On the way to my son's graduation this week, we ran into a neighbor, a very nice octogenarian, who asked where we were off to so dressed up.  I told her and she insisted on taking photos of  my son and me with her phone.  I also asked her to take some with my phone as I didn't know whether we would receive hers.  The next day, I received not only her photos of my son and me (which turned out better than the ones on my phone), but also photos of my other children.  Unbeknownst to me, she had seen them just a few minutes later heading out to join us and she asked them to pose as well.  

Kindness and Graduation Photos

"Give back in some way.  Always be thoughtful of others."

~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee

One of our children just graduated from elementary school.  Not a major graduation to be sure, but a milestone nonetheless.  He attended a very small school and there was a beautiful ceremony to make the occasion.  Another mother at the school did not have a child graduating, but her son wanted to participate in the ceremony and so she was there, too.  This mother, who is a very thoughtful person, asked if I wanted her to take a family photo, which I did, of course.  After the ceremony, she made sure to take a photo of our expanded group of family and friends.

The Kindness of a Ride... and a Rule

"The most important thing is that you be a good person and you live by the golden rule of do unto others.  If you live by that, that's all I care about."

~ Rob Reiner

I recently joined a group of mothers and our daughters for lunch.  Someone gave me a ride there, and my daughter and I were going to Uber home.  But one of the mothers insisted on driving us home -- even though it would take her an extra 40 minutes or so.  I thanked her for the ride and she said that she was happy to do it because she could.  She said that when she was growing up, her mother and grandmother talked about doing unto others as you would like them to do to you.  And since their last name sounded a lot like "rule," that was their Golden Rule.

The Kindness of T-Shirt Wisdom

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

~ Henry David Thoreau

On a muggy morning after walking my son to school, I realized that I only had a couple more mornings of this -- walking a child to school.  The youngest will be off to middle school in the fall and the new school is quite outside our neighborhood.  It occurred to me that I truly needed to enjoy every second.  And just in case that thought decided to be a fleeting one, a young woman walking toward me had on a T-shirt that read, "Enjoy it because it's happening."

The Kindness of Sibling Help

"My siblings are my best friends."

~ America Ferrera

One of my children decided that she needed to do a small sewing project -- small and yet it would require sewing a number of pieces.  I wasn't sure how long it would take her to complete it.  When I walked into the living room to check on her, I was surprised, but delighted to see that one of her siblings had decided to help and the two of them were busy with needle and thread.  I had to take a picture to capture the moment.

Kindness and a Mini-Reunion

"A friend is what the heart needs all the time."

~ Henry Van Dyke

I recently missed my college reunion.  I had really wanted to go and thought I would.  I have great affection for my university and stay in touch with a number of my college friends.  But after several weeks of business travel and a hectic week on the home front, the thought of getting on another plane felt like too much.  So I stayed home for a much-needed weekend with my family.  As I was enjoying a lazy Saturday morning, one of my college friends -- a die-hard reunion attendee who did not attend this one -- called me.  We had not spoken in months and enjoyed a long telephone chat.  "Our own mini-reunion," my friend called it.  As we spoke, we looked on Facebook at the reunion photos and we even watched a video of our classmates dancing at one of the parties.  At one point, after we had watched the video, I heard noise at my friend's house.  What is that? I asked her.  It turns out that her husband, who did not go to college with us, decided that he, too, would watch the party video.  We laughed at the absurdity of it all.  I was grateful that she called and that I was able to enjoy our mini-reunion from the comfort of my home.

The Kindness of "Rescue Mom"

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

~ Mark Twain

I presently find myself part of a one-car family -- thanks to a young woman who ran a stop sign and crashed into my husband's car.  My husband is fine, which is what matters; his car is not.  But thanks to Uber and Freebie (my local free ride service), we are managing quite well.  In the mornings, I have been walking one of my children to school, which is actually nice -- unless it rains. 

On a recent morning, after I walked my son to school, I was on my way to get myself an overpriced latte when the skies opened and a torrential rain came down.  I sought refuge in the coffee shop and figured I would ride out the storm.  And then my mother called and asked me if I had gotten caught in the rain.  How did you know? I asked her.  She said that she knew I had been walking my son to school.  My mother offered to pick me up, but I told her that I had two more stops to make before I returned home.  No matter, she said, and offered to drive me to where I needed to go and then home.  Even though she was on her way to work quite a distance from where we live.  I appreciated my mother's thoughtfulness even more than she can probably imagine. 

As my mother was driving me to my last stop, my brother called and asked her what she was doing.  "I just rescued your sister," my mother said jokingly.  I began calling her Rescue Mom.  It is a nickname that has been well-earned over decades of rescue operations.

Kindness and the "Freebie" Driver

"I actually think that the most efficacious way of making a difference is to lead by example, and doing random acts of kindness is setting a very good example of how to behave in the world."

~ Misha Collins

I recently tried a free ride service in my community.  A souped-up golf cart picks up residents and takes them to their destinations.  When I got into the "Freebie," (yes, it's actually called that), there was an older woman already in the car; she was carrying a small dog.  I went to a nearby pharmacy and when I got back in the Freebie to go home, the older woman was there again.  When we went to drop her off at her home, she told the driver to wait 30 seconds and that she would be right back.  No, he said.  She insisted.  She went inside her house and came out with money for him.  It turns out that the driver had lent her $20 earlier in the day because she needed to buy something at the drugstore, but had not brought her purse.