Saturday, August 10, 2013

Be Kind Anyway

"If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway."
 
―From a version of the Paradoxical Commandments, originally written by Kent M. Keith and sometimes attributed to Mother Teresa


The other day, someone who reads my blog wrote:  "Sometimes I wonder about showing a kindness to another and watching it be disrespected or rebuffed.  Of course, I recognize that it's far more important (and pure) to put it (kindness, graciousness) out there; however, it's not easy when someone is ungrateful or hurtful or aloof after a kindness is shown.  I guess the phrase so often heard in the UK -- Keep Calm and Carry On -- comes into play here."

When I read this, it immediately reminded me of the quote attributed to Mother Teresa.  Be kind anyway.

One of the reasons that people hesitate to do a kindness is precisely because of the fear that they will be rejected or misunderstood.  So why should be kind -- especially if we do not possess Mother Teresa's saintly qualities?

Being kind is ultimately about connection -- about opening our hearts to connect with the best in ourselves, which makes it possible to truly connect with others.  I would encourage us to be kind regardless of the reaction -- although there may be something to learn in another person's response to our kindness.  Sometimes being kind means understanding that we need to give people space or time.  Sometimes we are kind and we feel that it is not appreciated, but just because someone does not thank us does not mean that we have not impacted the person.  I still would encourage us to not give up on the concept.  By giving the best of ourselves through our kindness, we are giving someone else the opportunity -- and perhaps even the encouragement -- to do the same.

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