― Mary Martin
Last week, someone
thanked me for doing something kind.
What I did, did not require much effort on my part. It did not involve any heavy lifting
(literally or otherwise). All I did was
think a little, admittedly not much, and send a text message.
As I think about
what kindness requires, it seems mostly to be a little thought, sometimes
showing up ... It really is an
open-heart kind of thing, thinking beyond one's immediate needs and wants, and
thinking about what someone else might need, which, interestingly enough, is frequently
not at odds with what we may want or need.
Kindness is about intentionality.
It is about living in a way that reflects our values as opposed to some
of the mindless activities in which we engage.
For example, I can spend time on the Internet looking for that white
linen tunic I really want or daydreaming about the perfect chocolate cake,
or...
The other day I
had a friend's child over for a play date.
Given what is going on in my friend's life, my entertaining her child
was helpful to her (not critical or necessary, but mildly helpful). But it was not a burden at all. In fact, I would go as far as to say it was a
win-win. My children and I all happen to
adore this child and my children behave better when she is around. So ... how hard was that? As I consider what it takes to do most
kindnesses, I realize that it doesn't take a whole lot -- it's an open heart + a
little thought. And sometimes there may
or may not be some effort, but it is rarely of the heavy-lifting variety.
When I think of
what is hard for me to do, I think of jumping in cold water, lifting heavy
boxes, driving on the highway, doing something I don't want to do (filling out
forms, clearing out my clutter). Most of
the time, kindness is not about doing something that is difficult for me. Maybe it only requires my being in that place
where my heart is open and my mind is clear enough to think about the people
and things that matter to me. And what I
do know is that when my heart and mind are in that place where I can tap into
the kind spirit that I believe is at the essence of who I am, I am much happier
than when I am being materialistic or chocoholic me.
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