What's In A Name?

"I had started calling her Lucy shortly after we met; I didn't like the name Lucille.  That's how our television show was called I Love Lucy, not Lucille."
―Desi Arnaz
 

We are funny people.  On the one hand, our names are who we are -- truly at the core of our identity.  As parents, we spend a long time thinking about and sometimes even doing battle with our partners or family over a name for our child.  On the other hand, we sometimes don't pay attention to other people's names and call them what we want without knowing their preferences.

The other day, I was talking on the telephone with a mother at my children's school.  Though we had not met in person, we were coordinating an activity related to our children's respective sports teams.  At one point in the conversation, she asked me whether I preferred Ana or Ana Gloria.  I appreciated her thoughtfulness.  And I explained that I go by Ana Gloria as many of the women in my family are Ana-something.

I was thinking about this mother's kindness the following day only to realize that I had not been as kind.  Her name can be pronounced differently and yet I had assumed one pronunciation.  So I asked her what she preferred and apologized for not asking before. 

Calling someone by the name she prefers may seem like a small thing, but each of us notices when we are called something that doesn't feel right, that doesn't fit who we are and our sense of identity.  It is a kindness to make the small effort to get it right.  It lets the person know that her preference matters.  And it is a way of expressing that we care.

I grew up watching I Love Lucy and have no clue how Lucille Ball felt about her name.  But I am very grateful when people are kind enough to ask me about mine.