Happy New Year!

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference.  They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

As we look back on another year, I have no doubt that some of our most treasured moments are those that involved kindness.  I wish you a new year filled with health and joy, peace and kindness.  And lots of love.

Kindness and a Purse

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~ Mary Lambert

One of my friends texted me recently and included a photo of a beautiful new black purse.  She asked me if I wanted it.  She does this from time to time.  She has handbags that she has never used and she will ask me if I want them.  Yes, I said, to this latest gift.  And so it arrived a couple of days later.  Her thoughtfulness made me smile as I know it will again every time I wear my new purse.

Kindness and Christmas Tea

“Tea time is a chance to slow down, pull back and appreciate our surroundings.”

~ Letitia Baldrige

A woman I know has been taking her mother and her children to afternoon tea during Christmas week for the past several years.  When the woman called to make the reservation, she was asked if they were celebrating a special occasion.  “Just Christmas and my mother,” she answered.  At the end of their tea, the waiter brought out a beautiful dessert to celebrate.  And then he gave the woman several extra bags of tea “for tomorrow morning.”

Kindness and a Good Man Remembered

“The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.”

~ William Wordsworth

This is definitely the time of year for memories and nostalgia, but I was surprised at the kindness I recently remembered.  I was backing up into my parking space and, as always, trying to make sure I did not hit the wall of my parking space.  I guess it was the time of year as well as what I was doing that made me remember a kindness that my stepfather had done for my mother many years ago.  They lived in a house with a small garage and, each evening as she came home from work, my mother would carefully ease her car into the garage.  She needed to get the car in far enough that the garage door would close, but not so far in that she would hit the washer and dryer that were right in front of the car.  Each night, my stepfather would stand at the garage door and guide her in.  He finally came up with an ingenious solution.  He hung a tennis ball on a string to the ceiling of the garage.  He measured it, so that it would fall exactly where my mother’s windshield should line up, so that her car both fit in the garage and missed banging into the washer and dryer.  A small kindness, but very typical of my stepfather, a gentle and kind man we all loved, who died nearly 16 years ago.  I know that he would be surprised that I still remember the hanging tennis ball.  But sometimes – in fact, so many times, it’s those small kindnesses that make life easier for others.  And we remember.

Sibling Kindness at Christmas

“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”

~ Charles M. Schulz

A mom friend recently shared a story about kindness and her children that warmed her heart.  On Christmas morning, my friend’s son, the younger of her two children, noticed that he had three of a certain gift and his older sister, a teenager, had only one.  He told his mother that he would give his sister one of his presents, so that they would each have two of that particular toy.

Kindness the Day After…

“Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

~ Dale Evans

Through a not-fully awake haze the day after Christmas, I heard noise in our living room.  Not loud noise, more like scampering about.  Imagine my surprise -- and delight -- when I found a little elf, plastic bag in hand, picking up the post-Christmas mess.  It felt like Christmas morning!

Kindness and Christmas

“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting.  It is happiness because we see joy in people.  It is forgetting self and finding time for others.  It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values.”

~ Thomas S. Monson

As much as we try not to, sometimes Christmas becomes about the gifts – or at least too much of our time is taken up with thinking about, stressing about and buying presents.  But every so often, I come across people who seem to get beyond that.  At a recent Christmas tea, I sat next to a woman who stopped buying gifts several years ago.  She spends her Christmas in different ways with people she loves and doing things she thinks are meaningful.  Our hostess at the Christmas tea values time spent with those she loves, so she planned on a midday get together just to be with the people who are important to her.  Spending time with those we love – sharing the love – may just be one of the best ways to commemorate what Christmas is all about.

The Kindness of a Christmas Blessing

“May the joy of the angels,

the eagerness of the shepherds,

the perseverance of the wise men,

the obedience of Jesus and Mary,

and the peace of the  Christ-child

be yours this Christmas and forevermore…”

I heard this beautiful blessing at a Christmas service and thought I would share it.

Merry Christmas!

The Kindness of a Grandfather

“More and more, when I single out the person who inspired me most, I go back to my grandfather.”

~ James Earl Jones

Yesterday was my grandfather’s birthday – he would have been 97, but we lost him too many years ago when he was in his early 60s.  December 22^nd always seemed to begin Christmas for us when we were growing up.  Years later when I was in college, I knew I always wanted to be home by then.  One year when my siblings and I were children, my grandfather let us put our fingers in his cake.  My mother was appalled, but we loved it and my grandfather laughed.  My grandfather had a wonderful sense of humor – a dash on the mischievous side.  He reminded me of Ricky Ricardo and my grandmother was a Cuban version of Lucy.  My grandfather played a huge role in our lives.  A doctor, he had Thursday afternoons off, so he would pick us up at school and take us to the convenience store for Icees and candy.  I still remember holding his hand as we walked through a parking lot.  I knew he adored me as he did my brother and sister.  So many kindnesses, so many years ago.  They are always with me.

The Kindness of Detective Work

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

A friend of mine recently found an iPhone on the sidewalk close to a restaurant at which he had just eaten dinner.  He picked it up with the hope of returning it to the owner.  First, he tried replying to a text that the phone’s owner received, but that did not yield any results.  Then, he saw a meeting notice on the phone with the name of a company.  With that information and the photo on the phone’s lock screen, my friend did a bit of detective work on the Internet and found the owner’s name.  The owner was very grateful to have his phone back.

Kindness and Thoughtful Teens

“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.”

~ Aristotle

There are few things that I appreciate more than kindnesses toward my children.  One of my children celebrated a birthday recently.  Fortunately, she did not have to be at school as early as usual as there was a different mid-term schedule.  I let the birthday girl sleep a little longer and took my other child at the regular time.  As I was leaving the school, I noticed a girl in a car headed toward the school.  She had a beautiful birthday balloon with her.  And then I realized that it was one of my daughter’s friends who was taking the balloon for her birthday.  A couple of blocks later, I ran into two of my daughter’s friends.  They were headed to a nearby Starbuck’s and one of them asked me what my daughter liked from the coffee shop.  Thoughtful teens are a treasure.

The Kindness of a Birthday Gift

“A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present.”

~ Thomas Fuller

One of my children had a birthday recently.  And one of my dearest mom friends gave me a gift.  She said mothers deserve to be celebrated on their children’s birthdays, too.  

Kindness and Peace

“Did I offer peace today?  Did I bring a smile to someone’s face?  Did I say words of healing?  Did I let go of my anger and resentment?  Did I forgive?  Did I love?  These are the real questions.  I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.”

~ Henri Nouwen

I live in a community known for its erratic and not-so-nice drivers.  That makes for interesting experiences every day – whether it’s the honking from impatience or the gestures…  So I was quite surprised on a recent morning when a young man I let into the lane ahead of me flashed a peace sign with his fingers.  Of all the things I have seen on the road, I have never had someone offer the sign of peace.  It made me smile.  I don’t know how much of a message he intended to convey, but no matter.  I took it as a reminder of the season, and silently thanked him and wished him well.

The Kindness of a Cyber Assist

“What’s fulfilling is being happy and being able to help other people.  The simple things.”

~ James Arthur

My son, who is in middle school, loves to draw.  Recently, a teacher at school asked him to draw a particular type of bird.  My son was a little stumped by this assignment and reached out to a group of friends, nearly all a little older than he is.  One of the girls, a high schooler, responded with a video she created to help him draw the bird.

Kindness and Babysitters

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Two teenagers I know frequently babysit for a single mother in their community who has twins.  Recently, the mother asked them to babysit for an evening as she had a meeting to attend.  When the mother tried to pay the teenagers, they told her that babysitting that evening was their Christmas gift to her.  The mother asked the teenagers if they were sure.  They insisted they were.

The Kindness of a Little Help

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W.H. Auden

We recently were at a family dinner at a restaurant and I was touched by how much a teenage friend of my children helped during the evening.  She took many photos for me and when one of my children needed to go to the restroom, this friend insisted on accompanying her.  This friend also entertained us on the drive home with several songs that she played on her phone for us to sing along to.  When I look back on the evening, this teenager’s kindness really stands out.

The Kindness of a Greeting

"The main thing you have to remember on this journey is, just be nice to everyone and always smile.”

~ Ed Sheeran

The other day as I stood in line at the bank, a gentleman ahead of me wished the teller a happy holiday season.  As he was leaving, he wished everyone the best for the season.  I found myself smiling as I left the bank.  Nothing like a little Christmas cheer.

Kindness and the Village

"True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

I would be lost without my village.  On a recent evening, my daughters needed to be picked up from a babysitting assignment, but my son, who was not feeling well, had fallen asleep.  I called one of my villagers.  “Are you in your pjs already?” I asked. “No,” she said, “What do you need?”  Within minutes, she was out the door, picked up my daughters, and brought them home.  Priceless.

Kindness, a Student and the Homeless

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

~ Dalai Lama

A teacher at my children’s school shared a story recently about a high school student who had greatly impressed her on a school trip to another city last year.  The teacher recounted how the student, then a high school junior, had bought a box of granola bars and distributed them to homeless people she encountered.  On one occasion, she asked a homeless person if he was hungry and took him to a restaurant where she bought him a meal.  This student, now a senior, celebrated her birthday recently by inviting a group of her classmates to join her to feed and visit with the homeless.

The Kindness of a Visit

“Education is the key to success in life, and teachers make a lasting impact in the lives of their students.”

~ Solomon Ortiz

One of my son’s former teachers came by for a visit recently.  She had not seen him for a while and wanted to stop by before the holidays.  I did not tell my son ahead of time as I knew it would be a great surprise.  My son was absolutely thrilled when she arrived.  They had a nice visit at our kitchen table.  Over cookies, she listened as he shared stories about his new school.  And she brought him a gift – a book she thought he might enjoy.

The Kindness of a College Student

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~ Mary Lambert

Every so often, people surprise me – sometimes more than others.  This time, it was a college student in the middle of finals.  I asked this college student, the daughter of one of my closest friends, if she would write a note of encouragement for someone.  Knowing how stressed college students can be at any time and particularly at the end of a semester, I told her not to worry if she could not do it.  She told me she would do it right away.  And she did.  She actually sent it to me within the half hour.  It was a beautiful note.  And she thanked me for asking her to do it.  All I can say is, wow.

Kindness and Joy at Christmas

“Christmas is joy, religious joy, an inner joy of light and peace.”

~ Pope Francis

I love this time of year – for many reasons.  One of them is the joy that people feel when they are able to help others, to give, to be kind…  An older woman I know collected money from friends and added that to what she was planning on spending to purchase Christmas toys for less fortunate children in her community.  She spent a good portion of her weekend raising the money and buying the toys, and her heart was filled with joy at having been able to give more than she imagined.

Kindness and a Bartender

“Getting money is not all a man’s business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.”

~ Samuel Johnson

At a recent holiday party, I noticed that my children were given red plastic cups with their sodas while the adults were served in clear cups.  I asked the bartender about it and he said that it was intentional.  “I have a three year old – I don’t want children picking up the wrong drink,” he shared.

Kindness and the Village

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We know it takes a village to raise children.  And I am grateful again and again for the people in my village.  Most recently, my son went on an overnight school field trip – his first ever without a parent.  He texted several times, but then the texts stopped and I was not sure if he had arrived at their destination.  But another mom texted me.  She had a tracking app on her son’s phone and she sent me a text showing me exactly where they were.  Sometimes the best thing your village gives you is peace of mind.

Kindness and a Belt

“We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing.”

~ Billy Graham

My son goes to a middle school where belts are required.  Recently, he forgot to wear his belt.  During one of his classes, a boy noticed that my son was not wearing a belt and told him.  Another boy, a grade older, gave my son his belt to wear.  I’m not sure how the older boy expected to not get in trouble for missing a belt, but lending his belt to my son certainly was a very nice kindness to extend to a younger classmate.

The Kindness of a Surprise Gift

“Every gift from a friend is a gift for your happiness.”

~ Richard Bach

A woman I know recently helped to find a date to a dance for her daughter’s friend.  It was no big deal as the mother knew that both her daughter and her daughter’s friend would be glad if they both could attend.  A couple of days after the dance, the mother was quite surprised to receive a lovely thank you gift from the other girl’s mother.

Kindness, Thoughtfulness and Generosity

“Every minute of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as you are making yourself, and you might as well do it with generosity and kindness and style.”

~ Rebecca Soinit

A couple of months ago, my steadfast friend saw a necklace that she really liked on a mom I know.  I don’t know this mother well, but I asked her if she remembered where she had gotten it, so that I could try to get it for my friend.  I ran into the mother at a school event on a recent evening.  “You asked me about the necklace, right?” she asked.  And then she took a box out of her purse and gave it to me.  It was the necklace, so that I could give it to my friend.  Kind.  Thoughtful.  Generous.

More Middle School Kindness

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

~ Aesop

A middle school boy recently shared that one of his classmates returned after a two-day absence.  She had gone on a trip with her family.  He asked her how her trip had gone.  She seemed to appreciate the question and said that no one else had asked her about it.

Kindness Remembered

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

~ Jackie Robinson

The other day, I ran into a woman I knew from our high school days.  Her husband went to the same high school as my brother, and they remain friends.  She introduced me to her daughter, a young woman in her 20s.  And she shared how much she appreciated my brother’s going to visit them when this daughter was in the hospital for surgery.  It turns out that had been more than 10 years ago.  But it had been important to her and her husband then, and she continues to remember it all these years later with appreciation.  

Kindness and Teenage Boys

“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.”

~ Aristotle

My daughters recently attended their school’s Christmas Formal.  These events create quite a flurry of activity and I was heartened through it all to see kindness on display by teenage boys.  There was the young man whose mother had been asked if he could go by another mother.  He could not go, but he called the mother who asked to thank her for thinking of him.  Another young man who could not attend because he was working on a play at his school wanted to reciprocate by inviting the girls who asked him to the play.  One of the young men who joined my daughters and their friends accompanied the girls back into the building when one of them forgot her bouquet. And then there is one of my perennial favorites: The young man with the impeccable manners who looked at everyone getting into my car and was perplexed as to how he could open the doors for everyone.

The Kindness of a Teacher

“Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world.”

~ Malala Yousafzai

My son recently performed in his school’s winter concert.  On our way to the evening recital, he said that one of his favorite teachers might attend.  Before the concert started, we saw the teacher.  My son was thrilled that his teacher had gone to see him and his friends play.  

The Kindness of Grandmotherly Advice

“Grandmothers always have time to talk and make you feel special.”

~ Catherine Pulsifer

Grandmothers can make you feel special – even when they belong to someone else.  At school recently, my son was sitting on the floor and drawing an owl from a photo.  The grandmother of one of his classmates walked by and complimented his drawing.  She then suggested turning the photo and his drawing upside down, and drawing from that perspective because, she explained, he would see the shapes more clearly. It worked, my son reported.

A Kindness Hero

“The simple act of caring is heroic.”

~ Edward Albert

A middle school boy I know shared that during lunch time at school, he saw a girl he didn’t know sitting on a bench and crying.  He went up and asked her if she was okay.  Then he introduced himself.  She never said what was wrong, but hopefully she understood that someone cared that she was upset.

The Kindness of a Favor

“The ideal man takes joy in doing favors for others.”

~ Aristotle

Nearly everyone I know groans – at least, internally – when someone in another city or country asks her to bring a non-essential item from the city where the traveler is in to the other place.  Many times, these favors entail significant time in locating the goods and then the additional hassle of packing them in your suitcase.  My steadfast friend actually volunteered for this duty when a friend in another city commented that she was trying to obtain an item that she could not find in her own city.  And my friend did not even hint that running the errand or lugging the item in her bag was an inconvenience.

The Kindness of Being Helpful

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”

~ W.H. Auden

One of my mom friends organizes a wonderful program at our church – people buy toys and clothing for children on behalf of their parents who are in jail.  I recently called her because I had questions about some of the items that I needed to purchase as well as the deadline to get the items to her.  She patiently answered my questions, offered suggestions on where to purchase the items and told me that she would help with whatever I did not have time to do.

The Kindness of Christmas Card Advice

“Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

~ Dale Evans

Years ago, probably a couple of decades by now, one of my college friends told me that she always writes her Christmas cards during the Thanksgiving holiday, so that they are ready to go out early in the Christmas season.  It made perfect sense to me, so I have tried to do that ever since.  And every time I sit down to address my Christmas cards, I think of my friend and am grateful for her advice.  I aim to send my cards on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Sometimes I make it; sometimes I’m close enough.  But her advice has definitely saved me from writing my cards at the last minute.  I thought about my friend again this year as I began addressing my cards during the Thanksgiving break.  Not surprisingly, on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, I received her card.

The Kindness of Sharing Memories

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.”

~ John Wooden

My father would have celebrated his 80^th birthday today, but he died 17 years ago – a day before his 63^rd.  I enjoy remembering my dad and tell my family ahead of time that we will celebrate his birthday.  My son remembered and woke me up with “Happy Birthday.”  I have to admit that I was a little confused.  A little later in the morning – and once I was fully awake , my siblings and I shared memories and photos of my father on our group chat.  My family and I went to a restaurant and sang Happy Birthday to my father over dessert.  My brother took his children to my father’s grave.  My brother shared that he thought my father enjoyed the visit.  We all miss my dad, but remembering together gives us comfort and reminds us of his love.

The Kindness of Putting Up with Awkwardness

“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.”

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I recently heard from one of my college friends.  He shared how blessed he felt to have spent Thanksgiving with his three adult children, one of whom is already married.  It involved some travel on his part.  And spending time, including a drive back home, with his ex-wife.  But the time spent with his children was well worth the awkwardness.

The Kindness of Thanksgiving Greetings

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

~ George Sand

There was a time when we called a handful of people on holidays to extend our good wishes.  That was in the day of the telephone as our main communication device. But now, thanks to our smart phones, we can text to our hearts’ delight.  I enjoy receiving texts from family and friends on holidays like today.  One text in particular made me laugh out loud – yes, LOL!  One of my dearest friends sent me a video of her getting ready to dress her turkey.  She appeared to be dancing with the bird.  And all was not text.  The mother of one of my college roommates, a woman I adore, surprised me with a Thanksgiving morning call.  It was an incredible gift. 

Kindness and Thanksgiving Eve

“Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings.  Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.”

~ Joyce Giraud

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  There is a slower pace to it.  There is the benefit of the four-day weekend.  There is the food, of course.  But my favorite part is that we give thanks.  For family, for friends, for the abundance of blessings that most of us enjoy.  And giving thanks fills our hearts with joy.

Kindness through Cyberspace

“A friend is what the heart needs all the time.”

~ Henry Van Dyke

A middle school boy I know recently received a text from a former schoolmate, a girl a year younger.  He had not heard from her for a while, but she texted to share that her mother had decided to go shopping instead of attending her daughter’s soccer game.  The boy wrote back that he was sorry and sent his friend a funny gif of clapping Minions to cheer her up.  “Thanks,” she wrote back.  “You made me feel better.”

The Kindness of Not Honking

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am going to propose a crazy idea, so crazy that I hope you might go along with it and encourage others to do so, too.  As I drive around my community, I hear what feels like the endless honking of car horns – or beeping, as we used to call it.  As far as I can tell, this is not honking the horn to avoid an accident – which, of course, makes sense.  This is honking to make the person in the car in front of you move faster or turn faster.  It seems to be honking based on impatience.  If you even stop for a moment to think about it, honking does not help matters at all.  You only succeed in startling or annoying the other person.  So my crazy idea is this:  What if we decide – in the spirit of Thanksgiving and Christmas – not to honk at others in traffic unless it is to avoid an accident?  When someone is not moving as fast as we would like, we can instead take a breath, count one blessing or say a quick prayer – all of which can only help us and are more in keeping with the season.

Kindness and Leftovers

“It’s not leftovers that are wasteful, but those who either don’t know what to do with them or can’t be bothered.”

~ Julian Baggini

On a recent weekend, I found myself leaving two social events with containers of food.  The first time, it was a children’s birthday party at a movie theatre.  The father had actually brought containers to share the leftovers with partygoers.  “I hate throwing away food,” he said as he handed me two containers filled with party food.  The second time was after the coffee hour at church.  One of the women who organized the coffee hour told me to go to the kitchen before I left because she had a box packed up for me.

The Kindness of an Accommodating Grandmother

“I know what it is like to be brought up with unconditional love.  In my life, that came from my grandmother.”

~ Andre Leon Talley

On a recent weekend, my children needed to be in more places that we could manage.  Step in my mom.  She offered to change her plans and fill in the gap.  Nothing like grandma to the rescue!

Kindness and Special Cookies

“I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me – animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy.”

~ Maria Shriver

One of my dearest friends recently asked me if we could meet up for a couple of minutes.  She was leaving town the next day for a family wedding and said that she had a “teeny something” that she wanted to give me.  The little something turned out to be the cookie version of a very delicious candy bar from Australia to which I am very partial.  My friend never ceases to amaze me – despite the preparations for her trip, she managed to think of me.

The Kindness of Someone Else’s Father

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”

~ Sigmund Freud

I recently attended an event with a group of attorneys.  At one point, I was in conversation with two attorneys who have known each other for a number of years – since high school.  One shared with the other that after his father died, the other’s father would reach out several times a year to check up on him.  And, the first one said, it did not stop after a couple of years.  The other’s father kept checking in on him for a very long time.  The attorney whose father died said that not only was that a huge support for him, but also it taught him a valuable lesson.  He has tried to pay that type of kindness forward whenever he can.

Kindness, Friendship and Joy

“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.”

~ Hubert H. Humphrey

I recently spoke to a very good friend and we talked about a recent event I had attended.  It occurred to me – after the fact – that he would have enjoyed being there.  He agreed.  I told him that I felt badly that I had not told him about it and I apologized.  He replied, “But you are giving me a lot of joy telling me about it.”  What a friend.

Kindness and a Well-Timed Compliment

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions – the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.”

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There are compliments that you just shrug off and then there are those that arrive with perfect timing.  For example, a woman I know had to speak at an event and just before she had to speak, someone complimented her outfit.  And while the speaker knows that clothing does not make the woman, her confidence did go up a notch.

Overwhelming Kindness (or the Kindness of Showing Up)

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.  Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”

~ Charles R. Swindoll

I recently had a special event at my old high school.  And I guess not just high school because I went to elementary school there, too.  It was a special day and I was completely overwhelmed by the kindness of friends –from all different parts of my life – who showed up.  My oldest friend – a girl whom I have known since we were in 1^st Grade together – drove over from the other side of the state.  Another member of our middle school gang flew in from another city.  One girl (and yes we may be past the age to call them that, but that’s what they are to me) was finishing a salsa class when another friend told her about it and she drove over.  It was such a treat to have not only my family, but also such dear friends join me.  My heart was truly filled with joy.  And I was reminded again of how much showing up matters.

Kindness and a Thanksgiving Invitation

“If you are really thankful, what do you do?  You share.”

~ W. Clement Stone

On a recent Sunday morning at church, one of the members stood up during the announcements and invited anyone who did not have family in town to join her husband and her at their home for Thanksgiving.  After the service, I told her how nice I thought her invitation was.  She shrugged it off and said that they have plenty of room.

Kindness at Disney

“Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all. They’re underused.”

~ Tommy Lee Jones

One of my dearest mom friends wrote to me from Disney World to share this story.  Her son was at one of those penny-flattening machines with a plastic bag filled with coins.  The bag broke and coins went everywhere.  A family was walking by and saw what happened.  The mother stopped to help and one by one, the other family members – including a toddler – joined in to help collect the coins.

A Major Kindness

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

I recently went to the dry cleaners in my neighborhood.  I had not been there for a while.  The woman who works there asked me how I was and then told me a beautiful story.  She shared that she was having major dental issues and mentioned it to a customer, a mother in the neighborhood.  That mother decided to ask her friends to chip in to pay for the dental treatment.  Through another friend, a dentist found out about the situation and did the dental work for free.  The money that the mother collected from her friends was given to the woman at the dry cleaners.  The woman at the dry cleaners became teary as she shared the story.  She told me that it had changed her life and that – other than her children – it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.  Some kindnesses are major.

The Kindness of a Complimentary Dessert

“Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Don’t just be nice, but be kind to other people.  That can be so rewarding.”

~Mary Lambert

Two women I know went out to lunch recently to celebrate one of their birthdays.  At the end of the meal when the bill came, the non-birthday girl grabbed the check and said, “I’ve got this – it’s your birthday!”  Before she put down her credit card, the waiter came back with another bill.  The women looked at him quizzically and he explained that he had made the dessert complimentary because they were celebrating a birthday.

The Kindness of our Out-of-Town Friends

“The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

Two of my children recently went on a school trip to another city – one of those trips that is chock full of activities and bus transfers.  We have very good friends, a married couple, in that city, but did not know if they would be able to see our children given that our friends both work and that the children had a packed schedule.  But our very kind friends managed to make time during their workdays to go to where our children were and visit with them for a few minutes.  And they sent us photos!

Kindness and Pumpkin Bread

“Bake someone happy.”

~ Unknown

Pumpkin bread with chocolate chips has kindness baked right in.  Just thinking about it makes me smile.  My lovely friend introduced me to this particular delicacy, which is baked by a mother we know in our neighborhood.  And the bonus part is that a portion of the sales of the loaves goes to a hunger-relief nonprofit.  After my lovely friend gave me the first loaf, I was hooked – as are my family members.  The “pumpkin lady,” as my son calls her, bakes on Tuesdays.  I try to remember to place an order, but frequently, depending on what else is going on in my life, I forget.  But the pumpkin lady is terrific about checking in and asking if I would like any.

Kindness and a Colleague

“It is nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

~ John Templeton

I recently sent an email to a colleague and to two other people.  Unfortunately, I did not enter one of the other emails correctly and so I ended up sending the email twice.  I told my colleague about my error, so that she wouldn’t wonder why she was receiving the same email two times.  She could have not answered or simply acknowledged my email.  Instead, she sent a smiley face and wrote, “We’ve all been there.”  And just like that, she made me feel a little better about my gaffe.

The Kindness of a Smile

“Share your smile with the world.  It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.”

~ Christie Brinkley

On a recent weekend morning, I dropped off two of my children at the airport for a school trip.  I was really missing them and feeling out of sorts when I stopped at a family restaurant for breakfast.  The waitress came along with a huge smile and wished me a nice day.  She actually made me smile and lifted my mood.

The Kindness of a Cheerful Greeting

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

~ Mother Teresa

How many of us have felt that initial awkwardness of walking into an event not knowing if you were going to find someone you knew to talk with?

Recently, I went to an event invited by some out-of-town friends whom I had not seen for about a year.  Before I even saw my friends, the wife of the couple came over to greet me – with a big smile.  Her husband was incredibly gracious, too, and made me feel very welcomed.

Kindness and Joy

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.”

~ Richard Bach

Some people can be happy for others.  It is truly a wonderful thing.  They can share in another person’s joy.  It is great to be able to count on your friends when you are down and need a shoulder, but it is very special to have friends who can celebrate good things with you, too.

Kindness and Impatience

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~ Princess Diana

The other day at a department store, there was a customer in the cashier line who looked very impatient.  She kept looking at her watch and harrumphing.  It seemed she had somewhere else to be.  Before the cashier called the next person, the customer in the front of the line told the harried woman to go before her.

The Kindness of a Lesson

“When you get older, you learn certain life lessons.  You apply that wisdom, and suddenly you say, ‘Hey, I’ve got a new lease on this thing.  So let’s go.’”

~ Robert Redford

One of my dearest friends is a very special person who lives intentionally – she gets done what she wants to do.  She applies this to all aspects of her life, including her children’s education, family trips and home projects.  She insists on scheduling the important things in life – including outings with friends – because “otherwise they don’t happen,” she says.  Of course, she is right.  The other day, I ran into a friend whose birthday is coming up.  I told her that we needed to schedule lunch because otherwise it wouldn’t happen.  As the words tumbled out of my mouth, I realized that I was channeling my intentional friend!  And I greatly appreciated her lesson.

Kindness on Halloween

“I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it.”

~ Katharine McPhee

Trick or treating is a big thing in our community.  Everyone from babies to adults dresses up, and the evening begins early and goes late.  It’s a lot of fun, but it can also be exhausting.  On our recent evening out, we were blessed to knock on the doors of friends who graciously let my children fill up their water bottles and who invited us to return for refreshments and food.

The Kindness of Paying Attention

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”

~ José Ortega y Gasset

I have a friend around whom I need to be careful – because whenever I say that I like something, whatever I compliment might just appear.  I have to be very careful.  One of the problems is that my friend has incredibly good taste.  So it’s double trouble.  It has already happened with two blouses.  And the most recent example is a candy bar to which I am partial.  But this particular candy bar comes from the other side of the world.  No problem for my very thoughtful and very resourceful friend who had several of these candy bars shipped from England!

Kindness and a Donut

“Donuts.  Is there anything they can’t do?”

~ Matt Groening

While on an out-of-town business trip, one of my dearest friends texted me to ask if I was home.  I shared that I was out of town for work.  She said she had a special treat that she wanted to drop off at my house for my children.  It was an amazing Nutella donut from a specialty donut shop – a donut that was more small cake than individual-sized donut.  Fortunately, I was able to have a piece when I returned home.

Kindness and Quick Action

“True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others.”

~ Alek Wek

At Mass recently, I was in the same pew as a grandmother and her teenager granddaughter.  During one of the more solemn moments, a cell phone rang.  Apparently, it belonged to the grandmother, who was kneeling.  Without making a fuss, the teenager quickly put her hand inside the grandmother’s purse and silenced the phone.  I don’t think the grandmother noticed.

The Kindness of a Guide

“Be a little kinder than you have to.”

~ E. Lockhart

On a recent business trip, I found myself in another city’s downtown unsure of how to get to my meeting destination.  As I stood on a street corner trying to decide which way to head, a gentleman walked by wearing a tag with my organization’s name on it.  I asked him if he was going to the same building where I was headed.  Yes, he said, and we walked together and had a very nice conversation.  I saw him several times over the course of the various days of meetings and we laughed about our street encounter.  He told me that he made sure to wear his ID tag each morning in case there was someone else who needed a guide.

Kindness and a Video

“I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world.  It’s like nature’s Neosporin.”

~ Matt LeBlanc

It’s not easy to be away from home when I travel for work.  I miss my family and my friends, and just being home.  Thanks to technology, staying in touch is easier than ever.  There is texting and FaceTime – but still.  On a recent trip as I sat in my hotel room after a long day of meetings, I received a funny video from a friend of mine.  It was of her with her characteristic smile being her funny self.  I laughed out loud.  And then played it a few more times, so that I could laugh again.

The Lasting Impact of Kindness

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Over and over again, I am struck by the enduring impact of kindness.  Recently, I pulled out a necklace I had not worn for a while and I remembered that early on in my tenure at an organization, a colleague complimented me on it.  I had just started working at that place and didn’t know too many people there, so her kindness meant a lot.  Several years later, I remember.  But I imagine that she probably does not.  How many of us remember compliments that we give people? 

We never know what is going on in someone’s life…  She could be going through a major challenge or he could simply be nervous about being new somewhere or she could just be having a bad day.  With a word or a smile, we have the opportunity to lift that person’s spirit.  And years later, that person may just remember and be comforted by our kindness.  The thought of it might make that person smile – again.  Even if we have long forgotten.

The Kindness of Sharing a Cookie

“Everywhere in the world there are tensions – economic, political, religious.  So we need chocolate.”

~ Alain Ducasse

Sometimes putting a smile on someone’s face can be as easy as sharing a cookie.  I was walking back into a meeting – part of a long day of meetings in a windowless room – and wishing that I had some chocolate.  I actually said it out loud.  And one of my colleagues said that he would share a chocolate chip cookie that he had saved from lunch.  Chocolate = instant smile.

Kindness and the Traveling Mom

"One who knows how to show and to accept kindness will be a friend better than any possession."
~ Socrates

It definitely takes a village and probably never more so than when a mom travels for work. I certainly rely on my wonderful network of mom friends to help when I travel. While I was on a recent business trip, one of my very special mom friends texted: "Don't worry about a thing this week. I will tell the billy goats [kids] that they can call or text me if they need anything at all." And then she sent me a photo of what my children were doing. There are some kindnesses that are impossible to repay.

Kindness at the Pumpkin Patch

“Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.”

~ Amelia Barr

I was at a church pumpkin patch recently and saw a young couple with a baby walking around the pumpkins.  There is something about the colors of a pumpkin patch that make for terrific photos, and the mother decided to take a photo of the husband and the child.  A teenager who was working at the pumpkin patch walked over and asked the mother if she wanted her to take the photo, so that the three of them could be in it.

Kindness and Birthday Visits

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

My mother is getting ready to celebrate a birthday and in addition to the celebrations that her family and her friends have organized, she will enjoy two weekends of visits from out-of-town friends.  I know she enjoys the additional birthday festivities and I am grateful that she has such thoughtful friends.

The Kindness of a Listen

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

~ Winston Churchill

The other day, I was reminded of how important it is for all of us to have someone who listens to us.  It doesn’t need to be someone who resolves whatever challenge we are facing.  It just needs to be someone who will open her heart to hear what we are saying – and in doing that, help us to hear ourselves.

Kindness and a Resourceful Grandmother

“Life’s too short to hang out with people who aren’t resourceful.”

~ Jeff Bezos

The other day, one of my children said that she had really wanted to see a musical that was playing.  I had wanted to go, too, but had not bought the tickets in time and now it was sold out.  Enter my mother.  There is not a challenge that she has not tried to meet.  And so the next day, several tickets appeared and my daughter was able to see the show.

The Kindness of a Thoughtful Teen

“Never suppress a generous thought.”

~ Camilla Eyring Kimball

On a recent evening, I had to drive one of my children to meet up with a group of other teens at our church.  I wasn’t sure where to drop her off, so I called one of my mom friends whose daughter was going, too.  We were all in our cars with the call on Bluetooth, so our children could hear.  As I was asking the other mom where to drop off my daughter, her teenager jumped into the conversation and told me that I should drop off my daughter at a certain spot where I could see her walk inside from my car.  The teenager told me that she knew I would be worried about having my daughter walk in the dark, so she was giving me the other option.  I told her I appreciated her knowing her people.

Kindness at the Library

“Every day, some act of kindness comes my way, even if it’s just someone opening the door.  It happens every day if you keep an eye out for it.  Keeping an eye out that’s the key.”

~ Aaron Neville

Every so often, I volunteer in the early morning at the library at one of my children’s school.  On a recent morning, I was in an especially big hurry and did not manage to grab something to eat before heading for the library.  A little while into my shift, the librarian asked me if I wanted coffee.  I said no, but I asked her if she knew at what time they put out the snacks for the children and explained that I had not eaten anything that morning.  A few minutes later, the librarian came over to where I was shelving books and very quietly told me to go to her office where she had a croissant, a yogurt and another small snack waiting for me.  I was incredibly touched by her kindness.

The Kindness of 15 Minutes

“Many hands make light work.”

~ John Heywood

Sometimes, we think that it takes a lot to share kindness that is meaningful to another person.  But a big dose of kindness can happen in 15 minutes.  For example, if you are getting ready for an event and are pressed for time – maybe running late even – and a couple of friends show up to help you set up, 15 minutes of their help can make a huge difference.

Kindness and “Yummies”

“I get way too much happiness from good food.”

~ Elizabeth Olsen

Toward the end of a long day, one of my dearest mom friends texted me to ask if we were home as she had some “yummies” for us.  I told her we would be home a little later.  When we arrived, we found a bag with delicious cinnamon rolls and chocolate bars inside.  Talk about putting smiles on tired faces!

Kindness at the Supermarket

“Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your modus operandi and change your world.”

~ Annie Lennox

I recently went to place a food order for an event at a local supermarket.  I ordered a dessert at the bakery and then some platters at the deli.  Then I realized that I needed something else from the bakery.  The young woman at the bakery, who had been very friendly from the start, shared that for a few dollars more, I could purchase a party package that had my dessert as well as several other items.  It was a very good deal, so I thanked her and took her up on it.  I was so taken by her kindness that I mentioned it to one of my mom friends after I left the store.  No kindness slouch herself, the mom told me that I should call the store manager and let her know how helpful the young woman was.

Kindness and a Mango

“Who doesn’t want to know that we notice them and value them?  And who might respond to us better when they feel that they matter?  It probably cannot be overstated – it matters… that people matter.”

~ Steve Goodier

Sometimes a small thing can make someone’s day – and often it’s not such a small thing at all.  One of my best mom friends sent my son a mango.  Mango aficionado that he is, he was thrilled.  Small thing?  Not really.  This friend of mine has taken the time to listen to my son and get to know him, so she knows that he likes the fruit.  She thought about him.  She took the time to take the mango, put it in a plastic bag and get it to him.  And, oh, did I mention that she brought it from her sister’s home, which is a five-hour drive away?  Sometimes a mango is not just a mango, and a small thing is not such a small thing at all.

Kindness and Triplets

“All you need in the world is love and laughter.  That’s all anybody needs.  To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.”

~ August Wilson

My son recently had a birthday.  He was blessed with many well wishes.  One of the most unique came from a set of triplets whom we know from my son’s last school and from church.  They are several years younger than my son, but they all get along.  As they have in years past, the triplets made a Happy Birthday video for my son, directed by their mother, a dear friend.  We immediately played it twice and laughed out loud the entire time.  I have no doubt that the triplets’ birthday message will provide more laughter.

Kindness and a Helpful Tween

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

~ Ric Ocasek

The other night, I arrived at the lobby of a condo building only to find that the doorman had stepped away from his post and the front door was locked.  There was a young girl, 12-ish, sitting in the lobby balancing a laptop and some papers on her knees.  She seemed to be in studying mode, so I did not want to disturb her.  However, at one point, she looked up and seeing me outside, ran to open the door.  I told her that I was sorry to bother her.  She gave me a big smile and said that it was no trouble at all.

Kindness and a Home-Cooked Meal

“Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing.”

~ Irina Shayk

My friends could not have known that I had an evening meeting… or a migraine. But they are thoughtful on a good day.  Imagine my delight when one of my dear mom friends texted to let me know that her husband had made a savory pasta sauce and would I like some.  After my meeting, I drove by their house and the husband came to my car with not only the delicious sauce that he had made, but also pasta to accompany it.  A delicious home-cooked meal for my family via drive-thru – how great is that?!?

Kindness and Memory

“So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.”

~ Helen Keller

I have a ceramic basket on top of my refrigerator that came with a flower arrangement more than 15 years ago.  My steadfast friend sent it to me.  And every time I see it, I remember her incredible thoughtfulness.

Kindness and a Polite Boy

“Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations.”

~ Bryant H. McGill

The other day at a school event as I was talking to another mother, the son of a friend of mine walked by. I had not seen him for a while, but when I saw him, the young man stopped, greeted me with a big smile and very politely, and spoke to me for a few minutes.  “What a polite boy!” the mother with whom I had been speaking said.  A little later in the evening, I saw the boy’s mother and told her how polite her son had been.  The other mother had already beat me to it.

Kindness and a Ride to Dry Ground

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A woman I know goes to work in a building where the parking is on lower ground.  In the last couple of weeks, there has been a lot of rain and the parking area is frequently flooded. It makes it hard for her to get to the building without walking through the sitting water. But the gentlemen who work in the maintenance department of the building have kindly been going to get her in their golf court and taking her to higher – and dry – ground, so that she does not get wet.